An Experiment Gone Wrong
by Piri Lupin-Snape
Summary: Being a werewolf is a problem. Being a Potions Master with a possible answer shouldn't be a problem. But what happens when the fine lines of emotions get blurred, who's heart will break? And who will have the right answers? RLSS
1. Confessions Of A Potions Master

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Summary: An unforeseen experiment goes horribly wrong for Severus and Remus, the result turning into something neither could have expected. What are they going to do about it at the time, and what happens when the past comes back to haunt Severus years in the future? 

WARNING: This will be slash of the Severus/Remus, Harry/Draco kind. Sooo...you know what to do if you dont like that :P 

**_~~~~~~CHAPTER ONE: Confessions Of A Potions Master~~~~~~_**

Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts and head of Slytherin House, was glaring. This year seemed to be a test of his patience for some reason, moreso then the last 5 years he'd had these particular people in his dungeon classroom. The last class of his day _would_ have to be double potions with Gryffindor and Slytherin houses he groaned inwardly. 

All the other years this class was either in mornings or afternoons, but this year Albus had decided to move it up to the last, making for a very irritable potions professor. Another problem with this time slot was the these particular houses were apparently at their utmost worst at this time of day as well. As usual, the Gryffindors had gone and made a mess of things this class, particularly Neville Longbottom. 

He sighed. He really had no grudge against this boy other then the fact he seemed to be a total squib in almost everything, and worse, couldn't manage to make a single potion correctly without the help of Granger the know-it-all. Even when he did them right, it was more of a fluke then anything else. He had finally given up pairing him with anyone but Granger at this point, figuring atleast his potions wouldn't either melt or blow up. He really didn't think he could handle much more of the boys ineptness this year. And to think he still had one more year to go with Longbottom, which didn't please him at all. 

Seeing Potter and Weasley at the moment whispering about something and grinning didn't help his already blackened mood either. Obviously they were so busy not paying attention to him that they'd slipped in 2 more bat wings then the potion called for. "Potter, Weasley! 5 points from Gryffindor for not paying attention and adding too many bat wings! Anymore of that and you'll both be serving detentions!" he yelled out gruffly. The look on both boys faces was priceless, though did little to ease his mood. 

Unfortunately the 2 extra added bat wings wasn't very acceptable to the potion that the class had been making. If Severus had been paying more attention himself, he would have realized this, but as it was he didn't until it was too late. Moments later as he was just bout to get to the cauldron, a loud "BOOM" echoed round the classroom and Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and one very irate Severus Snape were covered in a sticky gooey pink liquid. 

"That's **_IT_**! Detentions for both of you for the next week! And 20 points off - **_EACH_**!" Severus barked out totally disgusted now and glared at the two boys with a look that even his own house seemed to cringe from. "Clean this up - **_NOW_**! And report to me tomorrow after dinner for you're first detention!" he said with a hiss. 

"Draco, watch everyone while I go clean up. _Anyone_ steps out of queue and they'll wish they hadn't." he said glaring at the rest of the class now, Slytherin's included, which notably were subdued. He doubted that they would get out of queue again now, but you never could tell. 

He finished cleaning himself up quickly, rejoined the classroom and relieved Draco Malfoy, the only student who actually was any good in his class other then Granger, and thankfully was one of his house. For the rest of the class Ron and Harry cleaned the floors, walls and anywhere else the goo had gotten on, whilst Severus kept a firm eye on them and the class, walking round the boys making sure they got every last drop cleaned up. 

Finally the bell sounded ending the class, and the room was once again empty, this time for the rest of the evening. He sat down in his chair wearily, and something on his desk caught his eye. It was the lunar calendar, and it had a red circle round tonights date. For a second he forgot why it was circled as such, then he saw why, the moon phase. Tonight was the full moon, and that brought back alot of memories. Painful memories. He closed his eyes, going back in time to nearly 17 years ago when everything in his world seemed to begin to turn upside down. 

_~~~Two men are standing in the potions classroom office, one seeming to be in his early 40's, one a student about 18. The young man was just about to graduate from Hogwarts in a few days time. The discussion from the looks of it was quite heated._

_"But professor, you _cant_ be serious! Your not old enough to retire now, why do you even _think_ about it?" the young man said both angry and puzzled._

_"This is what I've been preparing you for during the past year, even though I never actually let on. The truth is Severus, I'm ill, quite ill actually, and I want to spend the remainder of the time I have left in peace. I'm sure you can understand this."_

_"Ill?! But..but...there's 'nothing' Madame Pomfrey cant fix! How can a wizard get ill? I thought..."_

_The professor cut him off with a wave of his hand and sat down wearily at his desk. "Normally you're right, wizarding medicines and chemists are quite more advanced then those in the muggle world. However, in this case, neither magical, nor muggle medicines can cure what's wrong with me. I've searched the world over, both muggle and wizarding alike, but alas I was in vain, there is no cure for this ailment. I could prolong my life if I so choose, but I have chosen not to. I"m truely sorry m'boy, I regret leaving believe me. But with my recommendations, Albus has agreed to my request._

_"Request sir? What do you mean?" the boy said still very much puzzled what could possibly be wrong that wizarding medicines or a good potion couldn't cure, and still very upset by this man's sudden departure._

_The man looked deeply at Severus. To the eyes of the boy, he seemed far older then his 40 something years of age. By wizarding standards, 40's were young as wizards and witches tended to have a lifespan far longer then ordinary muggles. He studied the boy carefully now, taking in everything about him. He wasn't much to look at, certainly not 'attractive' like those Gryffindor boys Potter, Black and Lupin, even Lucius Malfoy had more attractiveness to him being part veela. His personality was one of indifference, cold and withdrawn really, and certainly not popular with either males or females as the professor had never seen him date either sex. _

_But that's not what drew this man to the boy. It was his potion making skills that first got his attention since the first weeks of school 7 years prior. The boy had a knack for potions, and over the years had turned into quite an accomplished potions expert. And if truth be told, this man felt that the boy before him could probably teach him a few tricks of the trade. This boy was sheer brilliance, no doubts bout that. Granted he was also tuned to the dark arts was a plus, but it was strictly the potions that he'd had in mind when he'd spoken to Albus Dumbledore a few days ago. Yes, the position he'd suggested would serve this boy well._

_"I'm going to tell you the truth behind why I must leave Severus. I couldn't tell you sooner, not while I was still your professor, for reasons, but now it doesn't matter. I know you, and I know you'll keep my secrets safe. You're like a son to me Severus, I always regretted not following the one person who meant more then the world to me. If you ever do get the chance to have a child, take it, for sometimes even potions cant replace what the feeling of love and being loved is like. There was someone, long ago when I went to school here, but things happened, and it couldn't work out with us. Too many external differences, and we parted ways, though we never forgot each other. As if I could ever forget him." the professor said, a lost look in his eyes._

_"Him sir?" Severus said surprized. He'd never expected his friend, his mentor to be that way._

_The professor nodded, a sad smile acrost his face. "Yes him. I knew from when I was young what I felt towards men Severus. A lifemate is a lifemate, the sex rarely matters. Which is why even some purebloods have had to mix with muggles and halfbreeds over years just to keep the bloodlines going. He was a Ravenclaw however, smart as a whip, but none too courageous I'm afraid. When the wars started in the early 40's, his family decided to turn tail and run, moving as far from England as possible." he said rather sadly now. _

_"They went to America actually. They thought they'd be safe there, and luckily they were. Yes, the wizarding and muggle wars kept their attacks here in Europe thank the gods, but even when it was all over, he and his family stayed there. They're still there today. We kept in touch over the years, but till now we've never seen each other since that time. It's to him now I am going, to spend my time happy. He doesn't even care what's wrong with me, he still loves me as much as I love him." The man gave a small almost hidden smile at those words._

_"Sir? May I...may I ask what exactly 'is' wrong with you?" Severus said slowly, his mind still reeling by the previous information._

_The older man looked at him and sighed deeply. He knew this was coming, expected it really when he'd told Albus a few weeks ago about his decision to leave at the end of term. Nodding his head towards the boy, he began his tale._

_"Very well, I'll tell you. You might recall that last summer I told you I was going to visit my sister in Siberia. Gods know why she had to live in such a barren place, but her husband was doing some work regarding dark creatures for the ministry, and there was a nice infestation of them in that part of the world. They had warned me never to leave the house after dusk, because the types of creatures there usually came out after that time. How my brother in law was able to go out there was beyond me, but he did."_

_"One day however, my sister decided to join him in his studies, she did sometimes I gathered. They told me they would be back by around midnight, and not to venture to go looking for them. I certainly didn't. A little past midnight I heard a sound outside, and I foolishly opened the door thinking it was them, but it wasn't. Not by any means." the professors eyes seemed to show an emotion that almost made Severus's blood run cold. It was fear he saw, pure fear in those eyes._

_"Sir, if you're not up to this..." he began, but was again cut off._

_"No, I have to tell you. You have to understand Severus. I knew my brother in law was investigation several dark creatures, I hadnt somehow registered one of those was the..the werewolf. A predator that during the full moon has no sense of right or wrong, only of killing and death. It was this very creature that was now before me. A giant grey wolf with almost human eyes. My mistake perhaps was looking into those eyes, and not running. It cornered me inside the house, and before I knew it, had attacked." he said and a visible shiver ran down his body._

_"It ripped open my leg, and I could hear myself screaming with pain. Next thing I know I heard a shot behind the creature and it was dead. My brother in law and sister were there, they had shot it with a silver bullet. Silver, depending on the strength of it, will kill a werewolf outright, though in small doses or unpure silver, it will only poison it. But I digress. You know this allready from the study you had I believe in Defense Against the Dark Arts class earlier this year on werewolves yes?"_

_Severus nodded, unsure to trust his voice. They had indeed, studied werewolves earlier that year, but that wasn't the only reason he knew all about them. There was a certain Gryffindor, Remus Lupin, who was one as well. He found out the hard way after a nasty joke played by Sirius Black last year, one which nearly cost him his life. Though he knew it had been his own fault for reasons he would never admit to anyone, and he highly regretted Potter had been the one to save him. _

_In the end, he found out what Lupin was, how he could have missed it from the last name actually was beyond him, but Dumbledore had a talking to him and forced him to never reveal what he had found out. Severus may have been a lot of things, but he wasn't a fool, and he knew better then to cross Albus Dumbledore. Not to mention he certainly couldn't afford to be expelled from school._

_The professor continued with his tale. "Since you allready know bout them, you know then that once someone is bitten, there's a high chance, in point of fact, an almost 99% chance that they too will be turned. Alas, I was not to be in that last 1%. I found out all too well on the next full moon what had been done to me, and what I had now become. I begged my sister and brother in law after that to destroy me, but they refused. They sat me down after the transformation and told me with my knowledge of potions, I of all people should be able to find a way to combat this. Though my brother in law had pointedly told me there was no 'cure', he had heard of cases of werewolves being able to be calmed during the transformations. I spent the rest of the summer going all over the world to see what I could find, though there wasn't much to go on."_

_"Obviously I wasn't about to reveal why I wanted this information, even to a wizard a werewolf is a shunnable offense, not even really human anymore. Just a beast, a monster if you will. But in the end, I did find a person to speak with me. An old man in China who knew of many herbs that could possibly help. Believe it or not, he was a muggle, not a wizard. How he found out about me I still dont know, but he did, and he wasn't afraid of me." _

_"For nearly a week, he and I devised methods using certain herbs and such to help. And in the end, we did indeed come up with something. Though only temporary, the 'Wolfsbane Potion' would keep me calm long enough to get through the transformations. Luckily, there was one more full moon before term started and I was able to test the remedy, and indeed, it worked. The old Chinese man sat with me during the whole time, and I was basically rendered immune to the internal urges of the wolf. However, this came with a price."_

_"What price sir?" Severus said, reeling from the fact that his friend had just revealed such a secret to him, and not sure how to react yet._

_"A very heavy one I'm afraid young Severus. True this potion did it's job, but it has a very nasty side effect. One of the main ingredients is nightshade, commonly refered to as belladonna, I know you're aware of it?"_

_"Yes sir, of course. I believe however, that in small doses it is only poisonous, but in a large dose, it can kill in a short time frame, which is why some dark wizards tend to use it. It's taste is concealable and it's very easy to ground into a fine powder which can be placed in food or drinks." Severus said, glad he'd remembered that from herbology._

_The professor smiled. "Very good, you do indeed know your herbs. Unfortunately, for this potion, nightshade is a main ingredient, which as you know, if taken on a steady basis, even if it's once a month, has the unfortunate side effect of poisoning the body. Since the quantity required in the potion is not great, but not small either, the poison never has a chance to fully leave my body from month to month. Which is why now, a year later, I'm suffering from the consequences. I've been able to hide my transformations right here in my rooms at Hogwarts, and Albus has made sure that I have always had a coverup for the day of the full moon. I have to take the Wolfsbane Potion over a week before the actual transformation, but now sadly, I can no longer do this. The poison has caught up with me Severus, and I'm dying, simple as that." he said sadly, knowing how upset his young student was going to be._

_"Dying?! But...but professor..isn't there _any_ way to fight this? It's not _your_ fault what's happened to you, it's _not_ fair! There's _got_ to be a way to fight this!" Severus said, not angry really but feeling betrayed._

_The professor shook his head. "I wish there were Severus, I truely wish there were. Now I am tired of fighting it really, I dont have the energy to carry on teaching, nor fighting against what I am. I want to go live with David in America and be happy for what time I have left, nothing more. For you young man however, it was my recommendation to Albus that I want you to take over my position. I know you're young, but you have a mind for potions that I've never seen in anyone, not even myself. You're sheer brilliance, understanding and knowledge of potions is pure amazement to me sometimes. And I can think of noone better I'd trust giving up my position here to you." he said then, smiling with true sincerity at Severus._

_Severus was stunned. "M-m-me? I...I couldn't...I mean...are you sure? What if I fail you? What if I mess it all up? I...I..." _

_"Severus Snape, you are the only reason I'm even willing to leave. If I thought my job was going to be handed out to a bungled git, I'd stay. But I know this job is in good hands. You will do fine. Have trust in yourself Severus, I do." he smiled._

_Severus swallowed and nodded, precariously close to tears. "I will sir. And I promise you that one day I will even perfect that potion of yours..'Wolfsbane" right? Leave me the list of ingredients, I will see to it. Noone should suffer like this, not even...." Severus said stopping himself from revealing the name he promised he wouldn't. _

_He tried desperately to hate Remus Lupin for that time a year ago, in the end he couldn't, not after he finally realized it wasn't really Lupin's fault but Black's. Lupin had been nothing more then an innocent pawn in a game of jealous hatreds. Instead he tried to hate Lupin for what he was, a monster...a pariah on the wizarding and muggle worlds. But now his friend, his mentor was the same thing, and he began to open up to seeing Lupin in a new light once again._

_Almost as if his professor was reading his thoughts he said, "I knew this would be hard on you Severus, but I'm glad to see you have the convictions I told Albus you would. You should know that I knew what Remus Lupin was the moment I came back from the summer holidays, and sure enough, he sniffed me out immediately as well. Little thing about being a werewolf, always know your kind." he chuckled. _

_"He never approached me though, nor I him about it. We both tended to stick to ourselves during transformations. But we both know the pain of what we are. Severus, help him. I never gave him the Wolfsbane Potion, I couldn't bear the thought of destroying his life anymore then it would allready be once he realized how difficult it was going to be out in the world of werebeast haters. I was grateful Albus allowed me to continue here at school even. If you can one day, perfect the potion, seek Remus out and help him, if nothing else...as a last request from me." he had a look of sadness now again in his eyes that even Severus couldn't say no to._

_Severus sighed, it hurt him to know that he was losing the only person he could ever called 'friend', "Allright professor, I will, for your sake....and his. Will I see you again after today?" he said hopeful._

_"No, I think not. I'm leaving right after dinner for America, flooing out from Hogsmeade. I'm not one for long, drawn out goodbyes, nor are you I'd imagine, so I wont, I'll just leave you with those words. Take care of yourself Severus, feel free to post me if you want at David's, Albus had the address. Good luck with the potion. Goodbye Severus." he said softly, wishing against wish that it didn't have to end like this._

_"Take care too professor, I will write. Thank you." Severus nodded to his professor and turned and walked out of the classroom. When he got outside he stopped to replay the events in his mind, making sure it was all for real. He knew he had alot to learn about teaching potions, but he knew he'd had a very good role model in what to do, so he felt confident he'd be allright. He had no clue of course, that but a short time later, events would happen that would make him become what he worst feared, and that his life was going to take a drastic turn, possibly for the worse._

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

Okay...I've posted this once before but I've changed it round a bit. For those going to tell me on this point, I'm going to say me peace now :P I know that Remus said in book 3 the 'Wolfsbane Potion' was a 'recent' development in canon. Since I am not exactly sticking to pure canon in this fic, I'm moving the dates for the proposed potion round a bit to fit the fic. You'll soon find out though that even though this appears as if it's the 'start' of the potion maybe too soon, perhaps it wont be after all...for those who know me by now, I never give away that much eh? :grins sweetly: 

Chap 2 is done, will be up by morning since all I had to do was some redoing of it. For you other Sev/Remus shippers out there, I do hope you'll like this :) 

Edited on: 2002-04-20 2:05:03 AM 


	2. The Olive Branch Extended

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Sorry I took so long to post this, it's been hectic and I was concentrating on my H/D fic for the past week or so. I'm going to try to update this alot more often, hopefully daily since I have all week to work on me fics. :) 

Illk - though this is really a response to your review in Intentions...I wish one day I could write that 'angsty' ending...I have before tried...though even in death it always ends up 'happy' :sigh: I guess I am just a sucker for atleast a decently 'good feeling' ending :P 

**_~~~~~~~~~CHAPTER TWO: The Olive Branch Extended~~~~~~_**

Six years. Six very long, very painful years it had now been since Severus Snape had graduated Hogwarts and become the new professor of potions and Head of Slytherin house. He'd developed a reputation that by now was known to all including the staff, and for his purposes, that was fine by him. He had learned the hard way how to deal with what had befallen him in the past six years, and this was his way of dealing with the harshness of what life had dealt him. If he had been a cold, aloof person as a child, now as an adult he was almost unbearable. 

The good thing was that during all holidays and summers, Severus Snape would leave the castle not to be seen again till required. Noone knew where Severus went, nor would anyone even deem to ask. Each time he came back from a holiday however he looked tired and worn out, and seemed more withdrawn then when he'd left. The staff had learned to tolerate his odd behaviour, and only Albus Dumbledore seemed to find something beyond the harsh exteriors, though noone could possibly understand what. 

There was only one good thing bout the last six years that Severus himself actually could call 'good', two years ago he had earned the coveted title of "Potion's Master" from the Ministry. The highest award given to to a potion's professor, and Severus Snape was the first person in history to receive such an honoured title for one so young, a mere 22 years old. A rather lengthy account of his award and persona appeared in a news article in the _Daily Prophet_ had ended up being his downfall in more ways then one however, so in the end even the good was laced with bittersweet. 

He found himself suddenly beseeched by requests from other potions professor's round the world as to how he managed to obtain his title. Some of the older professor's were not happy with this bestowed honour, feeling that one so young wasn't worthy of such a prestigious title. The younger professor's however were awed and mainly hopeful, asking him all sorts of questions as to what they could do to improve their work. Recipes poured in from all over the globe, asking for help and hints on them, and suddenly Severus felt all too claustrophobic. He tried to ignore the mails after that, but to his dismay it only created to worsen the situation. 

Finally after 6 months he realized he wasn't going to be left alone, so he approached Lucius Malfoy to fix the problem. The next day an article appeared in the _Daily Prophet _asking all readers to please allow the potion's master his peace, and to cease and desist at once the owl posts, for Professor Snape was a busy man and had no time for such frivolities as responding to mountains of owl mail. After a that only a few now and then did trickle in, which Severus promptly ignored, and he was free to resume the things he had been denied whilst being a 'celebrity'. 

"Professor? Do we add the porcupine quills in first or last?" a voice suddenly asked, pulling him back into the here and now. Potions Class. Hogwarts. The present not the past. The present in which he was right now just a teacher, and currently teaching the classes of Gryffindor and his own house Slytherin. 

With a scowl he looked up to see who had disturbed him and noticed it was one of those more then annoying Gryffindors. "Add the porcupine quills in first Mr. Weasley and you'll be seeing the inside of Hospital wing for a week." Severus drawled wearily. Despite the fact Charlie Weasley was a Gryffindor, today even Severus couldn't bring himself to send anyone to the normally well visited infirmary. 

He noticed that Weasley added in the quills just on time before it almost boiled over, and made a quick check on the rest of his students. This was the last day before summer holidays would begin, and the last thing he wanted was any student laid up at the infirmary and unable to go home. He wanted...needed even...peace this holiday, and for one reason in particular. 

Absentmindedly his had went down and touched a draw on his desk, one he kept locked under several locking spells and charms. If anyone knew what was in that draw they'd probably scoff at Potions Master Severus Snape for his ideas of what was valuable enough to keep under such secrecy, but to Severus, it was the most importantly valued item he owned. Even though it was something that had been nothing short of grief for him the past 6 years. 

The end of class finally came and it was with much relief that the students left the classroom. Severus had been in an overly bad mood today for some reason, even his own house had suffered when one of them spilled the potion accidentally. The result of today ended up with Slytherin down 5 points, Gryffindor down 20 points. 

He got up and went into his private sitting room just off the potions classroom. It was a warm day for June but Severus didn't notice, his mind was elsewhere. Gazing for a moment up at a chart on his wall he made some calculations, and it was with a sigh he realized he was running out of time. A circle round a particular date seemed a looming threat, and if he didn't hurry he'd have to wait yet again. 

He passed the rest of the afternoon and evening inside his rooms. Noone would miss him at dinner, and even if they had he wouldn't have cared. He began to make his plans, making mental and paper notes where needed. When he was done, and fairly satisfied at them he allowed himself a moment to relax. Now the only obstacle was... 

"Severus? You in here?" a voice said from the potions classroom. 

_*Damn, McGonagall. She's always got a knack for knowing when I'm not wanting to be disturbed.* _"Coming!" he called out with a tinge of annoyance in his voice, and he stepped back out into the classroom. 

"Ah there you are. Albus needs to know your summer plans. Are you staying in or doing your usual yearly disappearance?" Minerva said coming only bout a foot into the room. 

Severus internally groaned. He had forgotten he was supposed to have informed Dumbledore what his plans were going to be for the summer. "Tell him I dont know yet er...professor. I'd like to be able to stay for a little while at anyrate if that's permissible?" 

Minerva slightly grinned. Severus still couldn't call her by her first name, nor any of the other teachers including Albus, but that was something she figured would come with time. "Very well then, I'll inform him. Just make sure you let him know. He does tend to stay here year round, but you never know with him these days. Alot is going on out there now." she said in a very serious tone. 

"Yes, I've heard the talk from the students and the other...staff. I assure you though I will not be led astray at the moment. Now if you'll excuse me professor, I have things to attend to. Good evening." Severus said indicating that the conversation as far as he was concerned was over. Taking the hint, she turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. 

What she couldn't have known however was that for Severus Snape, the 'issues' going on out in the world had allready affected him, and for him anyway, it was too late. During the Yule holidays after he'd gotten back from a short trip to Siam 5 years ago, he'd had a run in with Lucius Malfoy. And Lucius had been under strict orders. Have Severus Snape become one of his 'kind', or suffer the consequences, and even Severus wasn't stupid enough to refuse such a 'request'. 

Two days later he stood before his new master, marked forever it seemed by the most painful thing he'd yet encountered in his short life, and was told that from that moment forth, he was under strict orders to be this mans 'eyes and ears' inside the school. To watch Dumbledore, and report anything of value. 

Little did this Voldemort person realize that as a junior staff member, and a very junior one at that, he was barely able to speak to Dumbledore in private, let alone be privy to his inner workings. He kept his ears and eyes open anyway, and reported back on the rare occasions he did get tidbits of information. And for the moment, apparently that was enough, keeping himself alive and his work at the school unhindered. 

As a reward for his efforts, he was given access to places he never dreamed he would be able to...places in Knockturn Alley that he'd heard bout for dark art supplies but never had been allowed to visit. So in turn, it was a very nice deal for him. What was a little spying going to hurt when he had access to the riches of his potions dreams? 

Severus gave a dark laugh at that. _*You sold your soul and for what you fool? For mere material objects. True, objects that you'd never dreamed could be yours, but if the master only knew that those 'objects' were being used to create something 'good', you're life wouldn't be worth 2 knuts. So much for your 'dark side' Severus Snape.*_ Shivering all of a sudden at his own thoughts, he got up and decided to get some rest. 

A few hours later nightmares caused him to awaken. He couldn't remember the dreams, but they were dreams he'd had ever since he was a child. Horrid dreams that ate away at him while sleeping, but wouldn't allow him to remember, only the fact that he'd had them when he woke up. Tonight though was a particularly bad one, and he knew he wouldn't be returning to sleep again that night, so he went out to his desk in the potions classroom. 

Taking out his wand he whispered the required spells of unlocking over one of the drawers, and recovered a tiny slip of parchment, one that was very special to him. For it was on this paper that the ingredients for the 'Wolfsbane Potion' were written. Not the ones his old professor had written him, no. These were new ones, one's he'd spent the last six years researching. And now he was finally ready to try it out. 

It would take the rest of what was left of the night, and all of tomorrow to brew, but he was no longer tired now, only focused on his work. The next day and half went quickly. He asked Dumbledore to owl the man he'd need to test it out, keeping the fact that there was atleast a week yet till the next full moon firmly in his mind. The old potion had to be taken over a week before, but _his_ potion would only need a week before to become effective. 

He had replaced the deadly belladonna with a mixture of chamomille, young mountain ginseng, and triptophane. Two of those were for the calming agents, and the ginseng would help the human instincts become sharper, so that the human part of the wolf would still be able to be controlled during the transformations. The rest of the ingredients were trivial, but none the less essential. A bit of aragon leaves, some dragons blood, some wartsbane, a dash of this, pinch of that...and in the end, what he hoped would be a spot on potion. 

The only way to know now was if his 'test subject' would agree. The potion had just finished brewing and was now going to need a few hours in the cool down stage when Dumbledore walked into the potions room, and he wasn't alone. "Severus? I believe you were asking for some help in your little project? Mr. Lupin has been kind enough to accept your offer to hear what you have to say. I wish you good luck gentlemen." and nodding to the two men, he quietly left the room. 

Nearly 5 minutes had passed and Severus still hadn't acknowledged Remus Lupin standing there. _*Of all the people I had to ask for help, why did it have to be _him_? Maybe it's not too late..maybe I can change my mind? Maybe....*_

"You know, it's never good to think that way Severus. Bad for the health actually." Remus said, sitting down in Severus's chair at his desk, making Severus look up at him sharply. "No, I'm not reading your damn mind, but a wolf can smell alot from a person...fear, anger, torment....it's all there Severus. It's hard to tell sometimes where the man ends, and the wolf begins. I _am _the wolf, as it _is_ me, and I wish to the gods it wasn't like that." Remus said, sadness in his voice that even Severus couldn't miss. 

He looked at Remus J. Lupin then, really looked at him. He hadn't seen this man in six years now, and it seemed alot of changes had taken place. Changes that startled even him. Feeling not quite himself maybe, he motioned for Remus to follow him to his private rooms, where they'd not be disturbed. He indicated his usual chair by the fire for Remus to sit, taking a seat on the small sofa nearby. 

"A drink perhaps Lupin? I have some butterbeer, some pumpkin juice...." he began. 

"Wouldn't by any chance have any muggle things like oh, lets say...whiskey would you?" Remus said wearily. 

Severus stared at him for a second surprize, then he walked over to a panel in the wall and pressed it up, revealing quite a horde of old muggle 'remedies'. Apparently his old potions professor had taken quite a shining to them, and in note he'd left him before he'd gone, he left him this nice assortment. He poured a glass for Remus and himself, and handing it to him returned to the sofa. They drank for a few moments in silence, unsure of what really to say to each other, just staring at the flames of the warm fire infront of them. 

"Lupin....I want to thank you for coming. You didn't have to, I know that. I just...just wanted you to know I appreciated it that's all." Severus said breaking the silence. 

Remus did a double take. Severus Snape...was thanking _him_? The boy who he wished dead a thousand times over, whom he blamed for nearly taking his life? Somehow he didn't know if he should buy into this or not, but Severus had seemed awfully sincere in his letter, and in the invitation. Certainly it couldn't hurt to hear the man out now since he was here allready. "Well I suppose your welcome. For whatever it was you wanted me here for. Your post was quite vague bout the issue. What is it Severus...what do you want with me? You wont be expelled for revealing what I am now, and there's no students left to humiliate me...." he began, instantly regretting those last words. 

Severus was shocked at those words. He didn't know why they hurt him so badly, but Lupin's words cut him like a knife. "Why do you _always_ assume the worst about me? Cant you see I"m _trying_ here? I"m trying to help _you_, why cant you see that?" he said through gritted teeth. "And if I remember correctly, Lupin, _you_ were the one who tried to set _me_ up!" and with saying that, he got up and stormed out of the room into another room behind them, slamming the door. 

Remus sighed. This wasn't going very well at all. He hadn't meant what he said, it was just old habits that were hard to break. He'd come here as Severus's guest, and he'd ruined, for the moment anyway, what little faith there was to have on both sides. Severus _had_ obviously been up to something, something that might be able to even help Remus, and he'd gone and disparaged that, and guilt has a bad way of letting you know it. And if it was one thing Remus J. Lupin didn't like living with, it was guilt, for as a werewolf, he had more then his share of that in his life. 

Knocking on the door of the other room he didn't even wait for an answer and entered. Remus was surprized at the sight that met him. Severus was sitting on the edge of the bed, not crying for Severus Snape never allowed himself to cry, but shaken. Clearly he was upset, so Remus tried to brush what happened over. "Severus? I'm...I'm sorry. Really, my fault again. I dont think before I speak, I can be a selfish git really at times. I _do_ want your help, honest." Remus looked at Severus to see if he was even listening, but was startled when Severus wasn't even seeing him, let alone hearing him. "Severus? Whats...whats wrong?" he asked going over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. 

Severus jumped as if stunned. He hadn't heard a word Remus had said, and in point of fact, never had heard him enter the room at all. He was shaking for another reason, one which there was no way in hell he was about to tell Remus Lupin. He realized then Remus had probably come in to apologize, though he wasn't sure, but he responded as if that was the case. "It's allright, not your fault. I'm a bit hotheaded lately. Students you know can bring out the worst in a person." he said in a flat tone of voice, hoping Remus would believe that, and apparently it was working. 

"Look Severus, dinner is nearly about to start. Why dont we get something to eat and come back and we can discuss this rationally. Oh, and I should warn you now...Lily's pregnant, and James is acting the proud papa allready, so we might be interrupted at any given moment. He's gotten into a habit of updating Sirius, myself and Peter with every movement that kid makes. According to him, he's positive it's another Potter chaser in the works from the way it's kicking!" Remus grinned, making Severus slightly even grin at that. 

"My gods, forgotten those two got married, time seems to fly so quickly. Allready at the family thing eh? Another trouble maker I suppose then I'll be seeing in about 12 years from now." he half groaned. "Well good for some I suppose, cant say I picture myself ever having one, not now anyway. What bout you Lupin? Fancy having a brat of your own one day?" 

Remus laughed. "Not likely. Never been a case of a tamed werewolf having a child dont believe, not that I'd want to pass this on to any poor unsuspecting thing. That's even if it's transmutable, dont even know for sure myself. Sides that Severus, cant see anyone wanting to spend the rest of their life with a monster." he said wistfully. 

Severus looked at Remus strangely, but decided for the moment to let that comment pass. "Well, shall we head down to the Great Hall for supper then Lupin? I do believe it's your first time having a meal without the benefits of your 'sidekicks'. Quite a different meal I assure you when it's just the staff." he said and headed out of the room, Remus following. 

The meal was as usual excellent, and those at the teachers table were more then happy to have Remus among them. They all discussed old times and new, asking for updates on Lily and James's child, and other details. It was only Severus who was quiet during the meal, for Remus's words earlier in the room seemed to haunt him. Though there was no way he was about to admit why. 

After dinner Remus was a bit unsure as to what to do next, nor where he was to go. The few simple things he had brought with him were still up in Albus's office far as he knew, so now all he needed to find out was where he needed to put them. He assumed of course he'd be staying in one of the Gryffindor guest rooms, he was shortly to find out that wasn't the case. 

"Ah Remus there you are." Albus said jovially as he and Severus came out of the Great Hall. "We were just looking for you." 

"Well here I am." Remus replied with a small smile. "I was looking for you too Albus. Where is it I'm to be staying?" 

"Ah yes, well that is you see..I feel it would be best if you stayed a bit closer to the dungeons right now. In fact Severus has agreed to share his chambers with you for the time being." Albus said with a twinkle in his eye. 

"E-excuse me? Did you just say what I think you said?" Remus queried with a bit of shock and looked from Albus to Severus, who was looking at everything but Remus. 

"Under the circumstances I do believe it is for the best. I've already had your things sent to Severus's rooms. I'm sure you will be comfortable there Remus, and of course should you need anything let myself or Minerva know. After tonight nearly everyone else will be gone for the holiday. Goodnight gentlemen." Albus said and swept off before Remus could further respond. 

Remus stood looking at where Albus had just stood for a few moments, the oddest thoughts suddenly running through his head. "He-he's not serious is he?" Remus finally asked of Severus. 

Severus finally turned to face Remus, a closed expression on his face. "And here I thought wolves had good hearing, or was that just something they made up." he said a bit mockingly. 

"Dont play games with me Severus. Does he really expect me to stay in your...err...where he said I would be staying?" Remus said glaring at Severus now. 

"Yes, Lupin. He does. Answer your question? Is there something wrong with the dungeons that I should know about?" Severus said back icily. 

Remus stared at Severus for a few more moments trying to make sense of all this, and finally shaking his head he gave a little sigh. "No Severus, there's nothing wrong with the dungeons. I just thought...well never mind what I thought. I do want some answers from you though, and I'd like them now." Remus said keeping his eyes fully trained on Severus. 

"Allright Lupin, I suppose now is as good a time as any. I"d much rather discuss this in private however if you would be so kind." Severus said and turning on his heel headed down towards the dungeons, Remus only a few paces behind him. 

Remus walked into Severus's private rooms, noticing immediately his things had indeed been brought there. The only thing that struck him as odd that he could have sworn Severus only had the one private chamber, and that meant only one bed. Taking his own liberties he felt he was going to need something very strong to listen to whatever Severus was bout to tell him. He poured himself a drink, downed it in one gulp sensing all the while that Severus was watching him, and pouring a second glass turned back round to face him. 

"You should lay off that stuff Lupin, bad for the body." Severus said sharply. 

"Considering things I'd say it doesn't matter either way. Perhaps you should save that speech for a _normal_ person Severus, not me." Remus said and kicked back the second shot of whiskey defiantly. 

"This is what you've sunk to Lupin? The life of a muggle alcoholic? Potter and Black must be so disappointed in you if that's what it's come down to." Severus said. 

A flash of anger appeared in Remus's eyes, turning them from brown to black. "Dont you _dare_ speak of James and Sirius like that! You're not even a tenth of what they are! And as for 'life' as you call it Snape...you have _no_ idea what it's like out there when you're a freak even by wizarding standards....you couldn't _possibly_ imagine what I've gone through..." Remus said angrily. 

Severus looked at Remus surprized, regretting all of a sudden what he had said. "Your right, I dont know...." he said almost apologetically. 

Remus's anger faded as quickly as it started when he heard Severus's tone of voice. Pouring himself one more drink he downed it yet again in one shot, then sat down wearily on the sofa looking back over at Severus. "I'm sorry, things haven't been so good for me lately. It's not your concern...." he said. 

"Well, that creates a problem then." Severus said coming over to sit down next to Remus on the sofa now, to Remus's surprize. 

"Oh? And why is that?" Remus said raising an eyebrow at him questioningly. 

"Because you _are_ my concern now Lupin that's why." Severus said keeping his eyes on Remus. 

Of all the things Severus Snape could have said to Remus at that moment, this was the last thing he had expected. Shaking his head in confusement he said, "I dont understand...why?" 

Severus hadn't meant to do this, but he saw little alternative. He had invited Remus here as his guest, he deserved to know what and why he was here for. Taking in a breath of air he began to explain to him everything about the last six years, his research, about finding out about Professor Daniel's death 3 years ago, his trips abroad to find answers. Pretty much everything except of course his activities of the darker nature. 

"I know how hard it must be for you out there Lupin, Professor Daniel's told me how hard it would be on you...but...now I see for myself the truth. Has it really been that awful?" Severus asked quietly. 

Remus sighed and nodded slowly, then pulled off a shining golden tag from round his neck and handed it to Severus. "Muggles call them 'dog tags' ironically, I call that a death warrant. It marks me for what I am Severus...a freak, a monster. Something to be feared, to be avoided at all costs. I cant get a job, I've run through any money my parents had left me on their deaths. I cant stay anywhere in the wizarding world, so I am forced to live in the muggle world, and even then I have to keep moving for fear of being found out. My only friends are James, Lily, Sirius and Peter, and that's not saying alot at the moment." he sighed deeply. 

Severus looked down at the tag and read it. _*Name: Lupin, Remus J.; Blood Type: AB+; Designation: Werewolf, Tamed; D.O.B.: 27-03-60; Registry #: 1970*_ "The Ministry actually makes you wear this?" Severus said quietly. 

Remus gave a snort. "When in the _wizarding_ world I have to display it like a show piece Severus, so that _everyone_ knows what I am. I have no rights, you should know that. Werewolves are considered 'non-human', by rights I shouldn't even be allowed a wand. The only reason I'm allowed to use one is because I am designated as a _tamed_ werewolf, not a wild." he said bitterly. 

"But what about Potter, Black and Pettigrew? Surely they are helping you out? Everyone knows the Potter's have nearly as much money as the Malfoy's do, aren't they doing _anything_ for you?" Severus said a bit surprized. 

Remus sighed deeply and shook his head. "They are my friends Severus, but they have their own lives too now. With the baby coming James and Lily well...they have little time. Peter goes off on his own these days, noone knows where or why. And Sirius and I...." Remus said quietly thought a stricken pain was clearly in his eyes. 

Severus suddenly remembered something from in their schooldays, something he at the time suspected, but noone had any proof of. Now it was beginning to make sense to him. "You and Black...you were...together...weren't you..." he said quietly. 

Remus shut his eyes for a moment as if trying to block out painful memories and nodded slowly. "Since 7th year. Only James, Lily and Peter knew, noone else. Sirius was always good at hiding things, and most people tended to shy away from me anyway. When we left school we actually lived together as 'friends'." 

"What happened?" Severus asked, though he wasn't sure Remus would tell him. 

Remus sighed. "Three years ago when the Ministry slapped that tag on me...things got very bad. Even before that I had alot of trouble getting work, I'd already run through my inheritance on the flat we lived in, and everything else. But now there wasn't anything I could do in the wizarding world, so on my own accord I left..went to the muggle world. Sirius and I are still friends, and nothing else. Nor will there ever be anything else again...with anyone." Remus said sadly now and got up to pour himself another drink. 

Severus got up quickly and walked over to Remus, stopping him from taking another drink. He turned him round and looked Remus right in the eye, asking him, "Why not Lupin? Why never again?" 

Remus stared back at Severus, surprized at what he was not only hearing but seeing. This was a side of Severus Remus had never seen, a side that seemed to actually be something more then a greasy haired, cold hearted bastard as he always had been. But as he looked back into those coal black eyes of Severus's something seemed to compel him to answer. "Because I can never truely have the one thing that every other person in the world is allowed to have Severus..." 

"And what would that be Remus?" Severus said softly, still staring deep into Remus's eyes. 

"Love...Severus...I can never have love...werewolves..when they fall in love..and if that love is returned...it's for life....and noone should be burdened with a monster like me...I wont do that to anyone...." Remus whispered, and a single tear gently slid down his cheek. It dropped silently to the floor and melted away...just like all his dreams and hopes had from the day he'd left Hogwarts six years ago. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

Edited on: 2002-04-28 2:13:35 AM 


	3. Strangers In The Night

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER THREE: Strangers In The Night~~~~_**

A week had now passed since that night in Severus's rooms. Neither of them were willing to discuss the issues again with each other, for Remus's part it was just too painful. Not to mention embarrassing that he had poured his out out to the one person he had least wanted to do so with. 

He hadn't even told Sirius, James and Peter how bad things had become in the last few years, his Gryffindor pride and courage long abandoned the day he'd left his and Sirius's flat. In a month's time James and Lily would be parents, and he knew they wouldn't have any time to waste on Remus's miserable life. And Peter...well...Peter was Peter, the runt of the litter who lately was barely seen nor heard from. 

In the week that followed that incident, Severus had become a lot more civil towards Remus, which he gratefully accepted. Severus had ended up taking the sofa to Remus's surprize, though he was grateful to have use of the warm luxurious bed. Even Sirius's tastes hadn't been more then simple at the flat, so to Remus this was heaven. He didn't even mind that his keen sense of smell as the moon got closer revealed just how much of Severus still remained in the bed. 

He never commented even on the fact that he had noticed the use of his first name from Severus's lips that night a week ago. Perhaps it had been just a slip of the tongue, for he'd never said it again, but during the nights in the large kingsized bed he couldn't help but replay that scene over again in his mind. The added smells of the musk, patchuoli oil and oddly enough vanilla that were strictly Severus's just helped to add to his thoughts. 

The way Severus had looked at him that night, the slight catches in his voice. And again back to the use of Remus's first name were painting a picture that Remus wasn't sure he understood. In the days that had followed that night, he appeared just as cold and aloof as normal. However he couldn't help but notice that during the evenings, when they stayed in the potions classroom working on the Wolfsbane potion, or even when just passing time in his private chambers there was a watchful eye his way. Nothing was ever said, but Remus's instincts certainly sensed something going on underneath that cool exterior. 

Tonight was the final night, the full moon. Time to test if the potion would work, and both Severus and Remus were more then a little nervous at this point. One hour till moonrise, and the last goblet of the potion had finally been drunk. 

"I think it will still be safer if you went to the Shreaking Shack Lupin." Severus said now whilst standing at the window and looking out at the setting sun. 

"How will you know if it works then? You're not planning on being there are you?" he said with a bit of trepidation. If the potion didn't work he knew all too well what could happen. 

Severus gave a slight shiver, as if he too was remembering that time so long ago. The time in which Remus Lupin had almost killed him. _*Dont dwell on that now Severus...if you dwell on that you wont go through with this....just stop thinking...just dont think of it...* _

"Severus I..." Remus began softly knowing it seemed what was going through his mind right just then. 

"No Lupin, dont. I've allready told you I've made this my concern, leave it at that. I can assure you I wont put myself in danger. I've had Dumbledore set up a Scrying Mirror in the shack. I'll be able to see in at all times, so I'll be able to tell what's going on." Severus said abruptly. The last thing he wanted from Remus was pity or apology for what happened back then. Not now anyway. 

Remus nodded. "Good thinking. I guess I'll head out there now, then sun's just set." he said noticing the last rays of the sun going down through the window and turned to go. 

He had his hand on the door about to push it open when he heard a soft, "Good luck Remus." He stopped only for a split second, he didn't respond, didn't do anything, just continued through the door. 

The Full Moon. To anyone else it could be a beautiful, romantic setting, a soft, pale glittering object, the stars acting as it's sensual backdrop. To Remus J. Lupin it was pain, torture...a wish for death. Every month since he was a child he had endured this pain, physically and emotionally. He had tried over the years to separate the two with no avail. He couldn't distance his mind far enough from the pain and torture of the transformation. At his 24th year of age, he'd finally learned to just accept it, or he'd have ended up as a wild one long ago, never leaving the transformation cycle as he knew the wild ones could. 

He saw the mirror, but it was only a one way object. Somehow he felt that it was an intrusion at a time in which he didn't want to be intruded on, but he knew that it was the only way for Severus to see what he went through, and to see the effects of the potion. He realized suddenly that there was one thing he'd never told Severus bout his transformations. He was torn now between dreaded fear at what was going to happen when he revealed what he had to do now, and a slight grin that Severus was most likely going to be in for the shock of his life. 

Tingling sensations alerted him the moon had now risen, and the all too familiar pain started to well up. Quickly he did what he had to do, and none too soon. As the rays filtered through tiny pinpricks of the blackened windows of the shack, the thin form of Remus Lupin crumpled to the floor, the familiar agony of his lengthening body making him cry out in this injustice. Only it was no longer a human cry but a growl, laced with fear, frustration and pain. And in another few seconds the human that was Remus Lupin became the killer that was the werewolf. 

Back at Hogwarts Severus Snape watched with emotions he couldn't begin to fathom. He had been more then startled when he watched Remus undress himself, and there was no way in hell he was going to admit to anyone what seeing the lean naked form of Remus Lupin was doing to his normally reserved senses. That wasn't even diminished when he watched Remus transform, although he more then once winced at the obvious pain Remus was in. When the transformation was completed, and the wolf stood in Remus's spot, and knot of cold hard fear came into him. 

It was the first time he'd ever seen a grown werewolf actually. He only glimpsed the form of the wolf back during the prank played on him, but this was very different. This was a full blown image of what Remus really was during the transformation. And yet oddly enough, looking at the grey wolf in the Scrying Mirror, it wasn't fear he was feeling, but fascination. Seeing the wolf pacing round the shack was almost hypnotizing to him, that was...until something went very wrong. 

As he watched in the Scrying Mirror the wolf wasn't showing signs of being calm, infact rather the opposite. It was almost as if it knew where it was, and was looking for something, perhaps someone, and it's pacing became furious. Though he couldn't hear it, he could see the wolf howling now, scratching at the place in which the trap door was. Even Severus could tell it wanted it's freedom, but that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. 

It was almost a sick horror that he realized the wolf was getting more and more agitated rather then remaining calmed. The wolf's paws were digging at the trap door now, too eager to be freed, too eager it seemed to find something that wasn't there. Severus knew if the wolf kept up much longer, it _was_ going to get free and then all hell would break lose. 

Wasting no time he flew from the rooms making his way outside. On his life he didn't know why he felt the need to do what he was about to do, but a part of him knew it had to be done. Although he wasn't 100% sure, in his research he had come across some little known details bout werewolves, and if Severus was right, then this might just help calm the wolf down before it would be too late. 

He found himself at the base of the whomping willow and hitting the knot in it with a stick, he knew it was now or never. He could hear the growls and cries of the wolf from the down the tunnel. He could hear the splintering of wood, and he knew the trap door wasn't going to hold but for another few seconds. Only this time, he was prepared. 

The werewolf meanwhile finally had broken through the trap door, finally finding his freedom. His sharp sense of smell had recognized this room he had been trapped in, and he knew something was missing from it. At first he had tried to locate the familiar smells that should have been there with him, and when he couldn't find them he knew had to get out. Perhaps they were outside, yes that had to be it. They were out there, waiting for him, and so he had to get free. 

Suddenly another sense of smell assaulted him, a strange smell. Musk, patchuli oil and vanilla...a hauntingly familiar smell though he couldn't remember why at the moment. But it was also the smell of man, a human. Instincts kicked in, he was a killer, coldblooded and heartless, and humans had no place being in the paths of his kind. 

As he broke free of the trap door he followed the smell, it was closer now....his blood boiled, his teeth bared and deep low growl came from him as he tried to locate the source. Finally, there it was, just infront of him...and as he was about to get close to it something happened. The smell was gone and now a new smell took it's place. 

His shackles raised, he growled at this intruder who had taken away his human. The intruder was now outside, past the tree and heading for the forest. The werewolf followed, keeping his distance, a growl still threatening at the back of his throat. Soon they were in a clearing in the forest, a place he'd been before with three others, others that should have been here. Not this stranger with the strange smell. 

The werewolf stopped for a moment sniffing, realizing that his friends were not here after all. He howled, a long piercing howl that almost sounded sad, tortured at the loss of his friends. _*Why aren't they here? The stag, the dog and the rat...where are they? Why am I alone?*_ The werewolf thought to himself, both angered and saddened. 

A movement from the dense underbrush caused him to turn with his teeth bared, since he was alone he had only himself to rely on. But the same smell from earlier now came to him, and yet again he wondred who this stranger was. He sat on his haunches, waiting for the stranger to show itself. And soon was rewarded. 

A black wolf with fur as sleek as obsidian slowly emerged from the underbrush, careful and guarded. It eyed the werewolf nervously, yet didn't back down. It circled the werewolf a few times wearily, unsure of what to do. The werewolf smelled fear coming from the black wolf now, but it was another creature, so what did it have to fear? Even though it was just a normal wolf, it should have known the werewolf wouldn't have attacked it right? 

The werewolf got back up and walked over the wolf, sniffing at it as if trying to let it know it was safe. The fear subsided a bit, but not totally. The werewolf went over and nudged the wolf on the back then with his own nose, and though he felt a shiver come from the wolf, the wolf didn't back down still. The night was young yet though, and the werewolf knew these grounds, he had no intentions of staying in this clearing. 

With a short yip at the black wolf as if saying _"Let's go!"_ the werewolf took off, no longer angered or resentful. The presence of the other wolf calmed him, just as the stag, dog and rat had long ago. Although they weren't here, he had new friend now, and he was anxious to show this new friend all the neat places to romp around in. 

The black wolf watched the werewolf go and padded after him, surprized that he almost seemed to understand exactly what the werewolf wanted. He finally let the last of his fear go when he realized the werewolf was no longer a threat, but calmed and more like just a wolf then a killer. 

He was more then surprized at how many places this werewolf seemed to know, and completely amazed when he realized he could actually sense everything the werewolf was thinking. The wolf forgot that he was in the presence of a killer, and infact was beginning to enjoy the time spent in his presence. 

The werewolf was of the same mind, and in his way conveyed how glad he was to have found such a friend. He didn't let on that he'd had other friends like him, somehow the werewolf knew that he wasn't supposed to reveal his friends, but he did convey his enjoyment of his new friends company. The werewolf was happy that his new friend actually returned the feeling and was no longer fearful of the werewolf. 

The rest of the evening went by quickly, perhaps all too quickly for the two. It was with a sense of shock when the wolf realized the dawn was bout to break, and that somehow the werewolf had to return to where he had been in the shack. Getting the message across to the werewolf was met with reluctance, but the werewolf seemed to understand that it was important he go there. 

He did seem to remember now that long ago it had also been important for him to do this, so the two of them returned to the shack together. As the werewolf laid down on the worn floor of the shack, he was grateful when his new friend came over and sat down beside him. Suddenly the werewolf's body became numb and he promptly fell into a deep sleep as the first rays of sun came into the sky. 

Severus sat there for a few moments as the sun came up, watching in fascination as the werewolf next to him retransformed itself in the naked form of Remus Lupin. With a groan he allowed himself to rise up, stretching at how stiff and sore his muscles were. In his life he didn't think he'd ever used as many muscles as he had during the course of last night, though somehow he didn't mind at all. 

Picking up Remus's clothes from where he'd left them, he took his wand out and whispered a few words, and seconds later Remus's clothes were back on him. Putting his wand back in his robes, and with a gentleness that would have surprized anyone who'd be observing, he lifted Remus into his arms and headed out the trap door. As he left the whomping willow and headed towards the castle, he was surprized to see someone running down the stairs apparently to meet him. 

"Severus? Is that Remus with you? What happened, is he allright?" Poppy Pomfrey said in a rush unawares that Severus was scowling at this interruption. 

"Yes it's Lupin, and will you stop fawning over him woman? He's fine. It was a full moon last night if you remember." Severus said trying to give Poppy one of his now famous stares. 

"Oh I had forgotten it was the full moon! Damn that old fool, he should have reminded me! Here now, give Remus to me, he needs to be in the infirmary so he I can heal him up properly." Poppy said summoning up a stretcher. 

"I will take care of him Madam Pomfrey, thank you. You're services aren't needed today." Severus said with a dark scowl and to Poppy's utmost surprize, he swept past her into the castle without another word. 

"Well, hmph...that was...highly unusual...for _you_ Severus Snape..." she said to noone in particular and shaking a strange thought from her mind she headed to Albus's office. She had a bone to pick with him about the fact he hadn't reminded her of the upcoming moon as he had promised her he would. 

Severus meanwhile was still scowling as he kicked open the doors to the potions lab, then his own private chambers. He gently laid Remus down on the bed, checked him over to make sure he was indeed allright, and went into his lab. In his private stores he found what he was looking for and headed back into the private rooms, and holding the vial tightly, he sat down to wait. 

He himself was half asleep when he heard the slight noise come from the bed many hours later. Judging from the shadows it was well into the afternoon now, past supper almost at dinner. He found it hard to believe he had slept that long, but he attributed it the after effects of last nights excursions. The noise on the bed however brought him back to his senses, and he quickly got up and went over to see what was happening. 

Remus was restless, that much he could tell. He was whimpering a bit, though Severus wasn't sure why until he realized that he must still be in alot of pain. Uncapping the vial now he sat down on the bed, lifted Remus's head gently and put the vial to his lips. "Drink this." he half whispered, and was grateful the Remus did as he was told. 

A few moments later Remus's eyes fluttered open, and although he looked completely worn out, Severus could tell atleast he was coherent. "S-Severus?" Remus whispered as his eyes finally settled on him. 

Severus nodded. "Was wondring if you'd ever wake up. How do you feel?" he said trying to keep his expression neutral. 

"I-I've b-been b-better..." Remus said softly. 

"Are you in pain?" Severus asked and grabbed back up the vial he had earlier. 

"A-a..l-little.." he said closing his eyes again and a visible shudder came through. 

Just as before Severus gently lifted Remus's head and had him finish the rest of the vial. He gave a few more minutes time to let the rest of the potion sink in. Finally he asked, "How do you feel now?" 

Remus reopened his eyes and centered them on Severus. Surprizingly he was beginning to feel alot better. "Much better....thanks." he said with a small smile. "What did you give me?" he asked now as he was feeling good enough to sit up. 

"Something I've been playing round with a bit. Bit of muggle and wizarding medicines. You're the first person I've actually tested it on, glad to know it works." he said giving Remus half a grin. 

"Great...so yet again I"m both werewolf and guinea pig eh?" Remus said with a bemused chuckle. "Really..thank you though. It's amazing...you could make a fortune with that." he said grinning. 

Severus waved his hand as if in dismissal. "I have no need for the money Lupin. Plus I have no desire to step back into the spotlight thank you much. I've been there and I can say in all sincerity I _dont_ enjoy it. That may be good for some, but not _me_." he said. 

Remus chuckled again and shook his head. "No, not _you_. You're definitely _not_ the social type." he said. Suddenly something dawned on him, and frown came acrost is face. "It...it didn't work did it..." he said softly now and centered his gaze on Severus. 

Severus sighed deeply, he had been dreading this moment. Shaking his head slowly he said, "No, it didn't. How did you know?" he said thoughtfully. 

Remus shrugged. "I just do that's all. I dont consciously remember what happens during that time, but somewhere deep inside the feeling is there. And I know I lost control last night." he said sadly. A stricken expression came acrost his face now, and he went deathly white. "Oh gods...I didn't...I mean...I didn't _do_ anything...did I?" he said in a paniced voice. 

Severus glanced at Remus wondring just how much of last night he would remember, and realized he really didn't remember anything. Shaking his head quickly he said, "No, I can assure you, nothing happened. You stayed in the shack all night, I watched through the mirror. Nothing happened." he said praying his words wouldn't come back to haunt him later on. 

It was a visible sigh of relief that Remus let out. "Thank Merlin. I wasn't sure that without...er...that it would be allright. I'm glad it was. What happened though? Why didn't it work?" he asked now. 

Severus's brow creased in thought. He had done everything right in the brewing process, he was sure of it. He didn't know where he'd gone wrong. "I dont know, but I'm going to find out...I promise you that. If...if you're still willing...I'd like to continue the experiment...unless you have other plans..." Severus said slowly. He didn't even realize that he was holding his breath waiting on Remus's answer. 

Remus thought for a moment and shook his head. "Believe me when I tell you that I have no other plans for the next few weeks Severus. I feel bad that I"m taking up your rooms though, perhaps we should ask Albus for different accommodations for me?" he said looking up at Severus now. 

Severus let out the breath he had been holding. "Good, we still have 2 more months before terms starts, hence two more chances. I know it will work Lupin, I can feel it." he said realizing he hadn't said one word on the sleeping arrangements. 

"I'm sure it will Severus but ahh...the matter of sharing the room?" Remus said not forgetful of the topic. 

"I think it's best you still stay here for now. That is until we can isolate the cause of the failure. Is that allright with you?" Severus said looking fully into Remus's warm brown eyes. 

Remus stared back into Severus's cool black eyes and for a moment, just a second even, felt as if he was on the losing end of a battle, one he wasn't meant to win. Before he could even stop himself, as if he was no longer in control anymore he responded, "Of course Severus..I dont mind it at all..." And in that split second he saw an expression come into Severus Snape's eyes that made Remus think truer words couldn't have been spoken. He really didn't mind it at all. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-04-29 2:41:59 AM 


	4. Two Faces Of The Same Coin

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

As you can see I've changed me name yet again :gaze up: Couldn't help it...after writing this fic, and the H/D, Sev/Remy fic I'm also doing at the same time...Remus just ached for me to be named after :sighs happily: Heck even JKR admits that Remus is one of her favourite chars in the books! How can you go wrong with that eh? :swoons: Much as I adore Sirius, noone can take the place in me heart as Severus and Remus can...:shakes head: nope never! 

Also word of warning! This fic is being up to R...considering I am going to be writing in scenes of the sensual nature here and there...hopefully it will be tasteful enough for your palettes...if you find it in any way irksome though, please let me know I will edit it out...since I am bereft of a beta I have to use me own judgments (not always a good thing either :mutters:) So do let me know if it's allright with you all? Cheers! 

And sadly one last word of warning on this chapter - This goes out to all Sirius lovers...though I meself do love Sirius (not nearly as much as our sexy Slytherin God nor our incredibly adorable Werewolf..) this chap is going to show a very dark side to Mr. Sirius Black...not the prankstering Gryffindor I can assure you...so if that might be a problem I urge you to hit the back button now...however this side to Sirius was just what I did need right at this point, and I do apologize to all Siri lovers (hell even meself for writing it!) in advance....:sighs:....(begs forgiveness from her cute doggie god)..oh and I suggest when you do get the ahh...well certain parts you read all the way through, it's not exactly what it starts out as :coughs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER FOUR: Two Faces Of The Same Coin~~~~_**

A little over two weeks had come and gone since the episode in the shack, or rather the failed potions experiment as Severus was calling it. Obviously he couldn't say that the shack episode was a failure since Remus himself wasn't the one at fault for the failure. As the time stood now, only a bit less then a week was all they had now before they would have to begin a new dose of the potion. And so far not a single clue had been shed as to why it had happened. 

The downside (or perhaps it was an 'upside' at this point) to having Remus Lupin still here this long was that, although Remus had no knowledge of it, Severus was growing quite used to having him around. He was almost looking forward to the next full moon, though in a way if the potion did work, he doubted there would be need for his hidden skill. 

It had only been by pure luck that Severus had come acrost the information he had in a particularly old volume he found down in a Knockturn Alley bookshop, _"Werewolves and Animagus - Friend or foe?"_. It had cost 25 galleons, to most maybe it was pricey, but to him he would have paid anything for it and it was with a deep satisfaction when he smuggled it back here to his rooms. He had it well hidden in a specially made trunk that was adorned with more locking charms and spells then his desk draw had been. 

That book had proved invaluable over the years, and though he had his suspicions now about Potter, Black and Pettigrew, he really didn't care. It had taken him just over a year to master the skill in which the book showed him (which if Remus had known this he would have had a field day with considering how long it had taken James, Sirius and Peter at the time), but he felt it wasn't a year of wasteful learning. And two weeks ago he had proved that. Other then a few minor tryouts, that night at the shack had been his first time truely being that other part of him. 

That fact that he never told anyone, not even Dumbledore and especially not Lucius or Voldemort gave him a certain feeling of power. Although 2 weeks ago he was nervous and afraid, not so much from the werewolf but from what he had gotten himself into, afraid he wouldn't remember how to turn back, now he was almost aching to try it again. Even if the potion did work, he was thinking of slipping somehow into the shack on the next full moon. 

Remus J. Lupin was beginning to get under his skin, he knew that. Something about him as both human and wolf fascinated him. Though he was beginning to admit the human side of him held the most fascination. Even in his dreams Remus invaded, the image of his naked form haloed in the morning rays of the dawn was the last thing he'd see as he closed his eyes at night, and at times, the first thing he'd see when he woke up. 

He knew he had to be careful, Remus wasn't like anyone else he had ever known. Those eyes of his held so much expression in them, one word could cause them to turn golden with happiness, another darkened with sadness. So he remained his cooler, aloof self the past two weeks, more for his own benefits then anything else. There was no way in holy hell he was ever going to admit he might be actually beginning to _like_ Remus Lupin. _*Not _like_ you dolt...admit it...you're far far past the 'like' stage...*_

"Severus? You in here?" a voice called out in the classroom, prying Severus away from his thoughts, which he was almost grateful for. 

"Yes, in here Lupin." he yelled back and seconds later Remus walked in a bit agitated. 'What's wrong?" he said actually concerned now at seeing the the closed look on Remus's face. 

"Severus I...that is...oh heck I'm sorry bout this but...I have to leave for a little while..." he said apologetically. 

"Leave? _Now_? But we've only got less than a week! You just _can't _leave now!" Severus said startled. _*This isn't happening...you're not really leaving me are you?*_

"I know, I know...and I'm really sorry bout this Severus, but I have to...." he said and ran round collecting up the few meager things he'd brought with him. 

"Atleast tell me why? Give me _that_ Lupin!" Severus said realizing Remus really _was_ leaving. For some reason his stomach was aching at this thought, not to mention another vital organ within his chest he thought didn't even exist before. 

Stopping in mid-pack Remus's shoulders slumped and he gave a small sigh. In a half whispered voice he only said one word. "Sirius..." 

Severus wasn't sure he heard correctly, though an anger crept into him that assured himself he had. "_Black_? What does Black have to do with anything?" he said, his anger visibly creeping into his voice even. 

"I wish I could tell you Severus, I really do...but I cant. Suffice it to say I have to go for a bit. I promise I'll be back before the end of the week or even sooner allright? I wont let you down..." he said finishing up the last of his packing and turned to face Severus. 

Severus's eyes were blazing he was so angry at this point. Steeling himself he knew that it wasn't really Remus he was angry at but he had to show something, so he said in an icy tone, "Fine. But if you're not back by week's end I'll find someone else to test it on." 

Remus looked at him startled, but gave him a small nod. Without saying another word he gave Severus a look that spoke volumes, or would have if Severus hadn't been so busy being so upset. Remus gave a brief sigh and turned and left before anything could be said. 

Severus stood there watching the doorway for a bit longer, almost as if he was expecting Remus to return. After finally realizing that he wasn't he released a small growl, followed by a deep sigh. _*Damn you Black! Just like always you have to ruin everything...everything!*_ And with a strength he didn't even realize he had he slammed the door of his private chambers shut, unawares at this point of the truth as to why he was even so angry. 

_~~Half hour later in a small flat just off Diagon Alley~~_

Remus Lupin looked round the small flat that until 3 years ago had been his home. Not much had changed, the same beige coloured walls, the same furniture that they had bought together, the same coloured carpets on the floors. It was almost with a pang of regret that he realized that it had been half _his_ money that had been the existence of all these things. But to dwell on that now would do him no good, no good at all. 

"Sirius? Sirius are you here?" he said after a moment putting his bag down on the floor near the door. Just another reminder that he was now the visitor here, not the occupant. 

Sirius walked into the room from the kitchen, a mild look of smug satisfaction on his face. "Figured you'd come. You never could turn down a request from me Remus." he said slowly. 

Remus felt his face flush at that comment, but decided to let it pass. "Albus said you wanted to see me, so here I am. What's this about?" he said now walking a few steps into the room. 

"Yeah, that's right..._Albus_ had to deliver the message. Nice of him to do that...wasn't it..." Sirius said in a sharp tone whilst walking over to where Remus was standing. 

Remus was a bit startled, he didn't like the tone of voice Sirius was using at all. "Come off it Padfoot, what's going on? Why did you want to see me?" he said keeping his gaze level with Sirius's. 

"Didn't want to tell _me_ you were going to Hogwarts now did you..." Sirius said in that same sharp tone. 

Remus shook his head not understanding this. "Sirius, why would it bother _you_? We haven't seen each other in 3 years minus a few brief times, and only written by owl a few times...." he said confused. 

"Obviously something like you going off to Hogwarts for gods know what wasn't important enough to inform _me_ though...yet _James_ knew...." Sirius said in a low tone, anger brewing in those black eyes of his. 

_*So much like Severus's eyes...yet so different...Severus's eyes have almost an alive glow when he's angered...but Sirius's only turn dull and hard as ice...*_ Remus had to mentally slap himself for that thought and refocus on the issue at hand. Obviously Sirius was taking his silence for something other then golden. "Sirius you're making much to much of this...and I don't see what concern it is of _yours_ where I go or what I do these days. It's not like we're still...." he began but was cut off quickly. 

"It _is_ my concern when one of _my_ best friends doesn't even have the guts to tell me that they're going off to be with...with..." Sirius said stammering from rage, and a tone of disgust that was painfully clear. 

Something inside Remus recoiled at that disgust and in low, calm and very crisp voice he said, "With who Sirius?" 

Sirius gave Remus a look of almost hatred then. "You know _who_. That slimy greasy haired Slytherin git. That bastard that doesn't deserve to be in the same country, let alone the same room with you...." he said in low tone. A tone that Remus knew well, for when Sirius was like this he was about to become his worst. 

Remus allowed himself to remain calm at this point, to get angry now would only make things 100 times worse, if that was even possible. "For your information Sirius, Severus has been..." but that was as far as he got. 

"_Severus_? **_SEVERUS_**?! Since when in bloody hell do you call him _Severus_?" Sirius spat out, all thoughts of reasoning lost to him now. "Christ Remus when James owled me and told me you were going to actually be in the same place as Snape _voluntarily_ I nearly lost it...but _this_...you're calling _Severus_? For fuck's sake Remus he's a slimy git! A bastard at it's lowest form! How could you? How could you do this to _me_?!" he said in a voice that was torn between pure hatred, and pure agony. 

Remus was in shock now, no longer calm or collected as Sirius's words sunk in. "To you? What...what I"m doing to..._you_?" he said in a cold voice, his golden brown eyes turning dark in anger now. "Since when do _you_ have claim to what I can and can't do Sirius. Obviously you fail to see I'm a _grownup_ now, that I don't need _you_ to tell me how to think or where I can go. I"m capable of making my _own_ decisions now." 

"You think so? Look at you Remus, just _look_ at you! Threadbare robes, you're as thin as a rail...even with the moon half a month away you're looking sick. Is that what making your _own_ decisions have turned you to? Making you become half a man?" Sirius spat back in disgust. 

A vague memory of something Severus had said to him not that long ago seemed to percolate through his head. Only it had been himself defending Sirius at the time, something he was beginning to regret. "Atleast I _am_ a man and not pretending to be something I'm _not_..." he said back coolly, keeping his gaze level with Sirius's. 

A sudden 'crack' filled the air and Remus staggered back falling on his knees to the floor. Sirius was over him, his eyes colder then ice. "Is that what this is all about Remus? _Are_ you shagging him? You couldn't have _me_ anymore so you turned to Snape for it?" 

Remus looked up at Sirius stunned. "Sirius...Padfoot listen to me...it's not about that..." 

"_No_? James told me you're _sharing_ a room with that git..obviously that _includes_ the bed...so how is he _Moony_...hmm? Is he good in bed? Does he make you feel like _I_ can? Does he touch you in the places _I_ know you liked to be touched? Come on _Moony_...answer me...." Sirius said in a harsh voice whilst grabbing Remus's hair in his fist and pulling his head back to look down at him. In a whispered voice he said, "_Answer me._..." 

Remus shut his eyes, his insides writhing in fear, agony and pain. Sirius had been his first, his _only_ bedmate in his life. For 4 years he had shared Sirius's bed, never thinking anyone else _could_ fill that spot...that was until.... A hard pull on his hair made him stop thinking and he reopened his eyes, only to stare right into the ice cold black orbs belonging to Sirius. He lost both nerve and voice, he knew couldn't answer Sirius, not now. 

A flicker in Remus's eyes seemed to break Sirius, and with a low growl he descended upon Remus, forcing him to the carpet. Pinning himself ontop of Remus now he whispered harshly into his ear, "Is _this_ what you like now Remus? Is _this_ how Snape treats you in bed...aloof and cold? Is that what turns you on _now_ Remus? Cause if it is..." His words were left burning in the air. 

Remus didn't need to second guess what Sirius had planned after that. He knew he couldn't fight Sirius off, not with the full moon so far away. The wolf might always be a large part of him, but without the benefits of even a waxing moon his strength was nothing more then a simple human being. And although he knew he'd been eating well the last few weeks, Sirius Black had always had the advantage of size and strength on him, this time being no exception. 

He didn't cringe, nor cry out at what Sirius was doing to him. Sirius still had Remus's hair tightly wound in his fingers, almost as a threat that Remus ought not fight him. He felt Sirius's tongue licking roughly at the nape of his neck, his ear, his chin. This wasn't Sirius, this was a stranger in his place. The Sirius he had last known would never have done this, would never make him feel pain like this. And that's what this was...nothing more then unrelenting pain. 

He closed his eyes to attempt to shut out what was going on, to try and block the pain and torment Sirius was putting him through, but to no avail. Sirius was making damn sure he wasn't going to forget this, and Remus knew that this was nothing more then pure anger taking itself out in the worst possible way. But in his self depreciating way Remus's mind thought he almost deserved this pain. 

He hadn't owled Sirius because he knew it might be this type of reaction, James atleast,though angry, had been more tolerable to it. He had meant to owl Sirius if the potion had worked, forgetting completely about doing so when the experiment had failed. Granted he hadn't expected Sirius to react quite _this_ way about this, and jump to all the _wrong_ conclusions, but in an odd way he did understand why Sirius would think along the lines he was. From the short sound of it James had gone out of his way to let Sirius know he was sharing Severus's room. Something Remus was highly regretting having told James now, though at the time he owled him he hadn't thought much of it. 

Another flash of pain broke him out of his thoughts as he realized that Sirius had bitten his lower lip, obviously angered at the fact Remus was being so unresponsive. Either that or because Sirius thought it was something Severus might do, he really wasn't sure. Somehow he had to try one more time though to get Sirius to listen to reason, so he said softly, "Sirius...Padfoot please..._please_ let me explain..." 

A growl met his ears however, his pleas obviously were not going to be headed. Instead a fresh wave of pain came over him as Sirius bit hard into his shoulder, too close to where he'd been bitten by the werewolf all those years ago. And the one spot on his body that even through his clothing, was the most sensitive of all to pain. "No..." he rasped out in agony. 

Sirius only silenced him with a harsh kiss, cutting off any further words. Sirius was then back at licking his throat and neck, intertwining his tongue with his teeth to pull and bite at Remus's skin. Moments later Sirius grabbed up his wand for a moment and muttered '_Declotha_', and Remus found himself bereft of robe and shirt. 

It was as if a dam now broke inside Sirius Black at seeing the half naked body of his former lover. With a groan he gave in to the feelings that had been building up the last few minutes. Not the anger, not the torture of knowing that Remus was probably shagging Severus Snape, he didn't care any longer about that. Not that he had been exactly celibate the last 3 years himself, but seeing Remus like this, knowing what he could do to this man was like an addiction for him, a drug that he had to have. 

Remus felt himself shudder involuntarily as he could feel the shift in Sirius's mood. Gone was the hateful, spiteful touches. Gone was the agony of biting and clawing at him. Only need was there, simple basic need. An emotion that was seeping from Sirius so badly that it overwhelmed Remus's wolf senses. The only thing other then his exceptional hearing that he did have of the wolf no matter what the lunar phase. 

Sirius's hands began to trail a path down Remus's back, he hadn't been joking when he had said that he knew Remus's body earlier. He knew exactly where he wanted to be touched, and he was taking full advantage of that fact now. Now that he was being gentler Remus found himself responding in every way, even allowing a small groan to escape from his lips. 

Sirius suddenly pulled off him then, and Remus reopened his eyes in surprize. "S-Sirius?" he said haltingly, a questioning look in his eyes. 

Sirius didn't say anything, just gazed down at Remus for a moment, taking in the sight of Remus's pale skin, his lean upperbody, even the fact his lip was still a bit red from blood where he'd bitten Remus. Gently he put his arm behind Remus's back, his other arm behind Remus's knees and lifted him off the floor, licking away the drops of Remus's precious blood that he'd spilled. 

Remus wasn't sure what was going on, but he had no complaints on whatever it was Sirius was doing. The gentle lick of his lip from Sirius had sent shivers down his spine, and he closed his eyes oblivious to the fact Sirius was carrying him elsewhere. It took him a few moments to realize what Sirius was now up to, but as soon as he felt himself being lowered onto the bed they had once shared, he knew that there was nothing that could stop what would come next. 

Sirius was gentle, tender and attentive to every one of Remus's needs. Tender kisses laced with passion seared into Remus's body, a feeling that for 3 years he hadn't felt, and he felt himself respond involuntarily to. He gasped as Sirius was able to remember every single spot that Remus liked to be touched, stroked and caressed on. 

He barely noticed it even when Sirius removed his trousers, in the old fashioned way not by spell. He moaned Sirius's name over and over while Sirius kissed every part of his skin with each inch of fabric that was being removed from his hips. Sirius teased him, putting kisses in places he hadn't even remembered about. If it was one thing Sirius did know, it was how to play the game of 'how-long-until-I-make-you-beg..' and right now that wasn't a very long game for Remus. 

Not when he hadn't been touched in so long, not when he was being touched like this. _*Why did I never realize how good this was? How did I walk away from this?*_ Remus's mind managed to think, though that was the last thought he would have for a while. Sirius had finally ended the game as his tongue finally found the one place Remus was his most vulnerable. 

Moaning in sheer delight he had forgotten just how well experienced Sirius was with that tongue of his. It might produce the worst words at time, but right now the only thing it was doing was driving Remus into a frenzy. He was responding with every part of him under Sirius's careful administrations, and he didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to hold out. 

"Sirius...Sirius...." was all he managed to half say, hoping Sirius would understand. To his utmost delight, Sirius did. Seconds later Sirius was now bereft of his own clothing, and a seconds shivered delight reached Remus's eyes, and it was all too clear what he needed right then and there. 

Sirius didn't need further urging, his own needs as equally needing to be met. He moved himself up, kissing Remus softly on the lips, and using his knowledge of Remus's body, the two people became one. A rhythmic, yet powerful exchange of desire claimed both men as each knew exactly what the other needed. 

There was only one small thought nagging at the back of Remus's mind however, something that all these years he never understood. _*This is so right, so perfect...so why haven't we ever lifebonded?* _But as the desire for release overtook him, that thought got pushed back into his mind as his sweaty body clung to Sirius's. 

Their pace sped up, each of them knowing they were so close to achieving the ultimate goal of pure perfection. Pure mindblowing satisfactual release. Yet again though Remus's thoughts interrupted him, and despite how much he tried this time he couldn't let them go. They burned into him like a knife, and he knew there was no stopping the thoughts now, any more then he could have stopped what had just taken place. 

As Remus felt Sirius finally release himself, softly calling Remus's name, Remus too released. The thoughts that had been in his mind melted onto his lips, and there was only one name he called out when he shuddered at his final release... 

_"Severus...."_

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-04-30 7:28:27 AM 


	5. The Lies You Weave Can Set You Free

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER FIVE: The Lies You Weave Can Set You Free~~~~_**

_"Severus..."_

Eye's that moments ago had been heated with passion were now showing a myriad of different emotions. Surprize, shock, comprehension..then defeat. With a sound of agony the dark haired man named Sirius Black fled off the bed he had just shared with his lover to the opposite side of the room. He backed against the wall just staring at the man he once knew so well. 

Remus however didn't understand what was going on, he was still trying to steady himself from their lovemaking. It had been so good, so right, and something he had missed in 3 long years, and obviously Sirius had missed him just as much. So it was in a dazed though that he wondered what had he done that Sirius was now on the other side of the room. 

"S-Sirius?" he said sitting up, trying to steady his voice though his breathing was still a bit heavy. 

No response. Sirius only stood there in a daze, his eye's unfocused seeing nothing. _*..."Severus..."*_ The name burned into his mind like a thousand candles. It wasn't even the name that really bothered him, it was the way Remus had said it. In all the years Remus had been his lover, he had never once heard that tone of voice come from him during or after lovemaking. 

_*..."Severus..." Oh Merlin Remy...why? How could you....?*_ Sirius's mind repeated over and over. 

"Sirius? What's wrong? Talk to me wont you? Padfoot?" Remus said worriedly. The unfocused look that had come over Sirius's face was all too noticeable. 

_*.."Severus..." Oh Remy...Remy...what have I done? Was this all my fault? If I hadn't gotten so angry with you 3 years ago causing you to leave....Merlin Remy...Remy...tell me it's not true!* _Sirius's mind cried out as he slid down the wall to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest. 

"Sirius? Sirius what's going on? Talk to me...please?" Remus said half getting out of the bed, but something in Sirius's eyes stopped him so he just watched his lover for a moment. 

_*..."Severus..." You're so innocent Remus...you dont even know what you've done do you...you dont even know what you said...what you want...* _Sirius's mind thought sadly and finally he looked up at Remus. 

"Sirius?" Remus said hesitantly as he sat there looking at the lost expression on his lovers face. 

_*..."Severus..." You dont belong here anymore Remus...you're right...I'm not the one you need...maybe I never was...he is now...even if you don't even know it...* _

"Sirius?" Remus said pleadingly. 

Sirius shook his head but didn't get up. In a voice barely audible he said, "Go..Remus...go back to Hogwarts..." 

Remus was startled. _*What's going on? What is he saying?*_ "I-I dont understand...Sirius? Go back to Hogwarts?" 

Sirius closed his eyes, pain flooding his body. _*..."Severus.."*_ "Go Remus...I'm telling you to go..." he said raising his voice a little. 

"Why? I thought we..." Remus began but was cut off. 

_*..."Severus.."*_ "Just _go_ Remus! Get out of here...you don't belong here anymore...I'm telling you to _go_!" Sirius said through clenched teeth, and reopened his eyes to focus them on Remus. 

Remus didn't know what to do, one minute they were making love like they hadn't been a day apart, and now Sirius was forcing him out? This didn't make sense. "Why Sirius? Tell me why!" Remus said torn between confusion and anger. 

_*Merlin forgive me for this Remus...but it's all I can do now...you've made you're choice and it wasn't me...this is the only way...I'll always love you Remus...I'll be there when you need me again...when you're ready to forgive me...I swear it to you...*_ Sirius's mind thought and with an internal sigh of torture he knew what he had do next. 

"Because you're right Remus, you're an adult now. I can't tell you where to go or what to do anymore. You were right to leave me 3 years ago, I"m no good for you...I never was. You were my friend, and it never should have been more." Sirius said in a flat tone of voice. 

"What? What are you talking about Sirius? What are you saying?" Remus said totally stunned now at what was being said. _*Why is he doing this? Does he really mean what he's saying?*_

"I'm _saying_ you dont belong here anymore Remus. _This_ isn't your life, _I'm _not your life. I'm your friend, but I _dont_ want anything more from you. I want you to go." Sirius said standing up and looking at Remus with what he hoped was a look that he meant what he was saying. 

"Sirius I thought that...well after this...that maybe..." Remus began but again was cut off. 

"You thought _wrong_ Remus. It was fun, but then that's all it ever was between us. A good time, a good snog and shag. That's it." he said making his tone of voice heavier, though inside he was being torn apart. 

"Fun? Is...is that all it..ever...was to you?" Remus said slowly, realization dawning on him. 

Sirius gave a little snort. "Yes.._fun_ Moony. Sirius Black making another great conquest in taming the wolf." he said half mockingly. _*Oh Merlin forgive me Remus...*_

"T-taming...." Remus said shaking his head of the thoughts running through them. _*That's all I was to him...a notch on his bedpost?*_ "Then...all this time...we....I..meant _nothing_ to you?" he said slowly. 

Sirius laughed though it wasn't a pleasant sounding one. "Sure you did mate. You were a good time...marauder style. Oh hell Moony face it, just wasn't meant to be for us that's all. Too much alike you and me, we'd never have been able to really make a go out of anything meaningful." _*Only because you didn't know how much he meant to you till now you stupid git...now when it's too late and you've lost...*_

Remus stood up and stared at Sirius as if he'd never really seen him till just this moment. Which in all truth he hadn't. This was a different Sirius Black, one he didn't know and suddenly realized he no longer wanted to know. An anger crept up within him, his thoughts converging into a larger picture, a larger truth. 

"You...you _used_ me Sirius. All these years you let me think you _cared_ for me... When you all you really wanted was to keep me chained down and tied to you like a _pet_. Even when I wasn't with you the last 3 years, you're letters were always filled with words of what you wanted me to do and be...you never cared how hard things were for me..._"You know you can't stay away too long from me Remus...", "Don't be foolish Remus you know you can't do that so just give up and come home..."_ Remus said in a tight voice. 

Hearing his words thrown back at him like this tore at Sirius like he'd been hexed, but he knew he had to do this. Still keeping his gaze on Remus he shrugged. "There you have it I guess, you've finally figured it out. I never really thought you'd stay gone 3 years of course considering..." he began but this time Remus cut him off. 

"Considering _what_ Sirius? Because I'm a werewolf? Or because you thought I wouldn't be able to survive without _you_?" Remus spat out roughly. "Merlin you are the most egotistical bastard I know! How I _believed_ you all these years...I almost _was_ ready to come home..." he said eyes blazing in anger now. 

_*Snape you better be worth what I'm doing...cause if you ever hurt him I swear to the gods I'll rip you limb from limb...*_ "Well guess you were more foolish then I thought you were Remus. Now if you dont mind I have a man to see bout a motorcycle. I dont expect to see you when I get back." he said abruptly and gathering his clothes up, walked out of the room before Remus could answer. 

Remus stood there hands clenched staring after the man who'd just left, anger boiling in his blood. After a few minutes however he heard the front door slam and he finally calmed himself down. Anger was now gone, replaced by sadness. _*You're right Sirius...I _was_ foolish. I was foolish enough to think that _anyone_ could ever love me...when I'm nothing more then a freak. Goodbye Sirius...next time we meet perhaps we can be friends again...but not for a very long time...*_

Twenty minutes later Remus Lupin was walking through the streets of Diagon Alley, his weathered case in one hand, his mind on one destination, The Leaky Cauldron. He'd arrived in Diagon Alley via a portkey that Albus had set up for him, but he would have to use the floo network to Hogsmeade to get back. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized he'd taken a wrong turn somewhere, and was now smack dab in the center of the one place he hadn't meant to be - Knockturn Alley. 

He stopped infront of a shop that had things in the window of the likes he'd never seen. Even when he'd lived in the flat in Diagon Alley he never once dared cross the thin queue into Knockturn Alley, and for the last 3 years he'd been living in the muggle world with 'normal' things, or atleast things that muggles would have considered 'normal'. 

As he stood and stared through the shop window something deep within him stirred. At school he never had been much of a learner for the dark arts, shying away from it due to the fact he _was_ a creature of the dark trying desperately _not_ to be one. He had run from his dark side so often that he stopped remembering the myriad of nights he'd spent curled up crying at the injustices done to him. 

The more he gazed into the shop window though, a part of him was beginning to wonder if all these years he had been wrong to do so. After all, he had so misjudged Sirius and their relationship, maybe he was also misjudging himself? Maybe it _was_ time to stop running...from past, present and future...and be what he was meant to be. A creature of habit. A creature of the dark. 

It didn't mean he had to give in to the dark, to totally submit to it..no...he had no intentions of that. But to explore it, to find out what he could do with it...yes...that was more then a possibility. He was free now, no longer restricted by the likes of Sirius Black. Noone to tell him what to do, or how to do it. Noone to judge him or tell him he was too worthless to know what he was doing. Now it was just himself..Remus J. Lupin, and he wanted...needed...that freedom. 

Walking into the darkly lit shop the first thing he noticed were the smells. Strange smells, musty smells. Potions, poisons, herbs and fungi of every dark variety. He noticed that he was being watched carefully but he didnt care. He glanced over the shelves of books in one of the corners, the titles begging to be investigated. One book in particular caught his eye, almost as if it had been placed there just for him..._"Werewolves and the Dark Arts - The True Path To Freedom"_. 

"Ya do well wif dat one lad.." a voice hissed at his elbow causing him to jump back. 

Looking down he saw the source of the voice, an old wizend witch bout 4 foot tall, greasy black hair down to the floor nearly, blackened fingernails, waxy and pasty skin that probably never saw the light of day. "Ha'f goblin if'n ya must know..." she said gazing up at him through a pair of shrewd, calculating black eyes. 

"Err...yes." was all Remus could manage to say, still a bit surprized at this woman...goblin...witch? 

"So, ya fin'lly commin' r'und to ya darker side eh? Yes...tamed...perhaps...fer now..." she said with a sickly laugh. 

"What makes you think that err..ma'am?" he said startled that this...person..seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. Despite the fact he was in middle of the wizarding world, he had neglected to 'show-off' his 'dog tag'. More because he was still reeling from Sirius's humiliation and how he'd been treated like nothing more then his 'pet'. 

"Instinct child...powerful tool in da dark arts...more 'n so fer those awlready on da side o' da dark..." 

Remus was a bit put off by that however. "I can assure you madam, I am _not_ on the side of the dark..." Belatedly he realized exactly where he was at right at the moment, hence it was a case of the pot calling the cauldron black. Irony at it's best. 

The witch gave a sick sounding chuckle. "Yer a werewolf lad...yer awlready ther' ev'n if'n ya don' knows it...go on...ya know ya wan' ta..." she said indicating the book with a long finger that was covered with hair and a yellow toothed grin. 

_*She's right Remus...you know you want this...you need this...it's time to stop running from what you are...you're not a marauder anymore...they no longer want you....go on Remus...take it...become what you're meant to be...* _a voice trickled through his head, and he wasn't sure anymore if it was his own thoughts or truth rearing it's ugly head from deep within his subconscious. 

With a shaking hand he took the book off the shelf and held it for a moment, rubbing his hand over the cover. It was warm to his touch, it's cover a strange shade of black and grey that seemed to mesmerize him. He felt almost like it was alive, calling to him, and the more he held it the more he felt at peace, that he would find the answers he so desperately needed within this book. 

"How much?" he whispered, not even realizing he had, nor that he never took his gaze off the book. 

The witch looked at him carefully, as if weighing a decision in her mind. "I'll make yer a deal lad...I nae goin' ta charge ya fer da book...only promise me dis...ya nae let it fall inta da wrong hands..." 

Remus tore his gaze away from the book to look back down at the witch. "Wrong hands? What do you mean by that?" he asked puzzled. 

Lowering her voice enough so that only Remus could here her she said, "I nae lived o'er 250 ye'rs ta be stupid...da dark arts once held respect...now tis all shunned b'cause o' en heir dat shoul' nae be..." 

Remus suddenly understood. Voldemort. He had taken the dark arts to an all new low now that he and his minions were growing in power. The Dark Arts used to mean something far different then it did today, now it was nothing more then just pure evil. People forgot that dark arts had once saved lives, stopped wars, and had been used to protect rather then kill or harm. 

"I understand. I promise I wont let that happen." he said with a vow. 

Her eyes searched Remus's as if making sure he meant what he said. With a small nod she gave him a yellowed smile. "I trust ya lad, nae many I do. Go...an' when ya need ta...ya com' back. Yes, ya will be back...I'll be here...." she said walking over towards the door to her shop. 

"Thank you, I shall." he said walking over to the door as well. Just as he turned round and put his hand on the doorknob however he was stopped. 

"Oh...an' one mer thin' Remus J. Lupin...becar'ful what ya wish fer, ya may jus' get it...seek out a master at Hogwarts...yer ken trust 'im..." she said quietly, but before Remus could even turn round in shock at the words she was gone. 

Remus opened the door and stepped back out to the alleyway, shaking his head in wonder and blinking his eyes against the bright sunlight. _*What did she mean? What is it I wish for...how did she know who I am? And what master is she talking about..at Hogwarts?*_ He had no answers for his thoughts, if it wasn't for the fact he was holding the book in his hands he wouldn't even have thought that any of what just happened _had_ actually happened. 

Realizing that the book was still in his hands however, even in a place like Knockturn Alley it probably wasn't a wise idea to let others see a book on werewolves. Quickly he unzipped his case and put the book gently inside, closing it back up again hopefully before anyone had spotted it. Thankfully noone had, he really didn't need to get into yet another fight on this day. 

Walking back towards Diagon Alley and the Leaky Cauldron, he had alot to keep his mind occupied. The woman had known things he hadn't, making him realize he was now at a crossroads in his life. He could continue on with miserable alcohol filled life in the muggle world in which he was pretending, or fight the odds and find who he really was, and really wanted from his life. 

And as he walked through the brick doorway in the back alley of the Leaky Cauldron he had allready made up his mind. He wasn't going to die in the world of muggles, alone and afraid of what he was. He was going to live in the world of wizards, probably alone but atleast as himself. Unafraid of what and who he was, even if it meant living in the shadows, stealing or begging for food or clothing. Even if it meant sleeping in haylofts or barns. He wasn't going to give up. He was going to have his freedom one day, no matter what the cost or consequences. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-02 12:16:51 AM 


	6. A Glimpse Into The Life...

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Hana - that was soo hard for me to actually write poor Sirius like that :sigh: but...once I did the read through I can see Sirius as the type to have done it that way...what you'll do for people in love eh? :P 

Demeter - yeah, he could have and probably should have...but our poor Remy was so deluded at the time well....Sirius did it in the only way he could...I agree though, men just never know when to be honest! :gaze up: 

To my perfect owl - :hugs and kisses: need I say more? Suikio :) 

Teigra - sadly no, Remus will probably never know what he did...then again...who knows? :P 

Bob - your wish is me command! :) 

_**~~~~CHAPTER SIX: A Glimpse Into The Life...~~~~**_

Nine hours, 28 minutes, 6 seconds. That's how long Remus J. Lupin had been gone from Hogwarts, atleast by Severus's internal clock. He'd always been like that though, able to pinpoint time right to the second, something very handy he'd found during potion making since it required such precise timing. A few seconds could make or break a potion, although at this moment it was more a curse then a blessing. 

He had declined going to the Great Hall for dinner, claiming research to the Headmaster instead. He couldn't bear the thought of going in there and listening to the friendly chatter at the moment, not in the mood he was in. His anger was long gone, but that anger had left behind something else. Something unfulfilled. Feelings he was having a hard time admitting to. 

_*What is happening to me? Why am I feeling so alone...so empty?*_ his thoughts cut into him as he sat in his chair gazing deep into the fire in the rooms he'd previously been sharing. The room felt as empty as he felt, cold despite the warmth of the fire. Even though it was midsummer, the dungeons always required the fire to be lit, the summer heat never did manage to filter it's way down past the cold grey stones into the lowest point of the castle. 

_*You know why Severus...don't think you don't...you just don't _want_ to admit it is all. You're still so stuck on your prides and shuttered up emotions you can't see the forest through the trees...* _

With a sigh Severus realized it was that nosy subconscious of his. The one thing that had kept him from losing what little sanity he had left these past years. That it had kept him somewhat whole, and from descending down into the true depths of what he had to become in order to survive he appreciated. But still it was far too nosy. _*Those so called 'prides' and 'emotions' would serve my death you realize.*_

_*Which you think you would welcome gladly wouldn't you Severus Snape if it wasn't that I know you so well. Oh don't give me that, I know you really _don't_ care to pop off anytime soon. You're too damn stubborn to want that anyway...but would it really hurt to let them exist from time to time?*_ his subconscious argued back. 

_*For what purpose? To be mocked and scorned? I already know what my students think of me...what pretty much everyone thinks of me by now...'Severus Snape, greasy haired git..' or how bout 'Severus Snape the know it all'...or to top it off...'Severus Snape the evilist git in the whole bloody school...'...lovely eh?*_ he thought back in a cross between mocking himself and sadness. 

_*Self depreciating today are we Severus? Well well well...seems the loss of your test subject _has_ gotten you more riled then you thought...* _his inner voice mocked at him. 

_*Just shut up you...Remus left so what. If he's not back I'll find another...* _Severus said back bitterly. 

_*Tsk tsk, Remus is it? Not Lupin or just 'the wolf'? My my you are progressing Severus...just come off that bloody high horse you don't even belong on and admit it...you really _do_ care for him don't you.*_ his inner voice said matter of factly. Not a question, just a statement. 

Severus growled under his breath. _*So what if I do? It wont change anything...obviously he ran off to be with Black the moment he was summoned to him. He doesn't care for me, never will. He's a Gryffindor, I'm a Slytherin. Water and oil don't mix you do realize.*_

_*Hah! So there _is_ some caring left in you after all! And Slytherin only by default Severus Snape. Don't you forget where you come from...*_

_*Don't you dare! I know perfectly well where I come from, I don't need a reminder of that. Now shove off, I've got work to do...*_ Severus said with a grumble and stood up shaking his head to clear out his thoughts. 

_*Mark my words Severus Snape, you _will_ fall...and fall hard...and I'll be there waiting...*_ his inner voice said with a parting shot and was silent. 

"Good riddance to bad rubbish." Severus said under his breath finally. He truely did hate his inner voice sometimes, especially because he knew it was always right. The outside clock chimed the hour at 9 PM and he realized he had missed quite a bit of work now even skipping dinner. With a sigh he began to head out to the potions classroom, however something in the classroom when he did get there stopped him short. 

Someone was standing at the cauldron he had set up for the use of making the wolfsbane potion, gazing down at it in deep thought. At first Severus was sure he was seeing things, this person couldn't be standing there. Crossing the room quietly the person standing on the other side didn't even seem to hear him, so right as he got to his desk he stood there for a moment watching the other person. 

Finally his curiosity got the better of him, and he had to know. Crossing the room till he was almost directly behind the person he said softly, "You're back." Not a question, just fact. 

Remus nodded, though he didn't turn round yet. "Yes." he said back equally as soft. 

"Why?" _*If Black hurt you....I'll kill him...*_

Remus slumped his shoulders and sighed. "I..dont want to talk..about it." he said reflectively though his voice held too much sadness for Severus to ignore. 

"Do...do you want a drink?" Severus asked. 

Remus seemed to pause at that, as if weighing it in his mind. A small shiver came acrost him, visible enough for even Severus to notice. "No...thank you." he said. 

"Have you eaten? I can call up for some food..." Severus said still a bit unsure of what was going on. 

Remus shook his head and finally turned round. "No I'm not hungry. Thank you though for asking." he said in flat voice. "I think I'll just get some rest so we can start work on the potion early tomorrow. Is that allright?" 

_*He's asking _me_ if it's allright? As if I would I would say...no? Is this how Black used to treat him? He had to ask for something as simple as to sleep?* _Severus's mind thought briefly. "Er..sure...go...go ahead. I"m just going to ah, work on a few things for a while out here." he said back slowly. 

Remus seemed relieved that Severus said it was allright, and nodded. "Thank you." was all he said and walked towards the private rooms his case clutched tightly in his hand. 

As Severus watched him go and the door shut behind him, he had a million questions and no answers. All he did know what that Remus was back, much earlier then he said he was going to be, and looking worse for the wear. _*Damn you Black...what did you do to him? What did you say to make him act like this?*_ his mind raged out. Obviously something had happened this afternoon to cause Remus to act this way, something major from the looks of it, but short of flat out asking which he wasn't bout to do, he might never know. 

Facing that fact, and trying to calm a growing temper towards Sirius Black, he concentrated now on the task at hand. Pulling out the sheet with the list of ingredients, he went over each one carefully. He still hadn't found what had caused the last batch not to work, and it was beginning to irk him slightly. 

Two hours later he still had no answers, so he decided to give up for the night. Rubbing his eyes half sleepfilled eyes he stood up with a stretch and headed into his private rooms. He saw a case by the door and with a startled expression realized he had forgotten that Remus had returned, though how he could have forgotten something as important as that eluded him. 

He got himself undressed and into the blue silk pyjama's that had been a Yule gift from McGonagall several years ago (to his utmost embarrassment of course, though she and the rest of the staff thought it was quite a lovely gift). Not that he would ever admit it to anyone, but he actually liked the silky pyjamas, even if they were blue. Everyone always assumed that he dressed in black cause it was his favourite colour (which it was), but really it was more for the effects than anything else. 

He knew that if anyone had ever looked in his wardrobe they'd be quite surprized at the variety of styles of clothes he had hidden away. Besides his blue pyjamas, Severus owned quite a few muggle outfits for when he had made his trips abroad. Made up of many colours too: blues, reds, silvers, greys, even some purples and god help him, pinks. When in Rome, do as the Roman's do he was told once, and his clothing fit that to a t. 

He actually had made a few friends in the muggle world during his research trips, and sometimes he didn't always 'research'. When he was in the muggle world he felt so much freer of the restrictions place on him as professor, potions master and deatheater. Perhaps that's why right from the start 6 years ago he sought out those who could show him something much more then he always had know. 

While in the muggle world his manner of dress hadn't been the only 'change' that he effected. Using certain potions and spells he altered his appearance as well, otherwise he would have had more then a hard time doing his research. Of course he never used his real name either, that wouldn't do in his position. Never know when you might run into another witch or wizard in some of the places he went, and secrecy in his life had become a mantra. 

He knew his co-workers had noticed his demeanor everytime he returned from his trips, and thankfully they let it pass. It was a combination of alot of things that would cause him to act that way right after a trip. Disappointments at the lack of findings sometimes, the fact that it was taking longer then he planned on to finish his research, and not that he'd ever admit it, too much fun during his trips. 

And they had been fun to a great degree. When he had first met Stephan in Paris 6 years ago it was hard to imagine two such different people. Stephan was carefree, wild, untamed. A love for life that was insatiable and he infected everyone close to him with that same attitude. And he was as flamingly gay as a man could get, which is partly what drew Severus to him. 

It was at a stage of his life that he wasn't sure what he wanted or who he was. Thrown into the position of teacher and head of a house at such a young age, never even going home during that summer between when he'd graduated and when he began teaching had left him with a sense of insecurity. Not that he minded not going home actually, his father would have just mocked him for becoming 'soft', but he had missed his mother. If anyone knew the truth about his family, and thankfully even Lucius had never questioned him on that issue, they would have been in for quite the surprize. 

Meeting up with Stephen right at the point he had however had been a changing point for him. It had been Yule when he had made the trip to Paris, and sitting in a small muggle cafe off the Rue De Rivoli he had his run in with Stephan De'Velart. He was the son of a very rich Marques, and older then Severus by atleast 10 years. As soon as he spotted Severus sitting by himself he walked up to him, and in an almost regal manner said to him, "Pray tell me how it is when mere mortals are graced by the gods with such beauty, we find one such god so shamefully alone?" That was all Severus needed. 

For the rest of his trip research became abandoned as he blindly followed Stephan throughout Paris. Severus felt shy, insecure round this man, but he soon become the butterfly rather then the caterpillar. He would sit for hours sipping at Cafe Au Lait in tiny smoke filled cafes discussing the masters of the times. Art, music, literature, nothing escaped Stephan's eye. It was like being transported back hundreds of years ago in which the great men of the days would sit in these same cafes drinking, smoking and talking on the same issues. And Severus loved every moment of it. 

Over the years no matter what he returned to Paris, and to Stephan. Though he continued his research throughout the world, he made sure to always save atleast a week for his time in Paris during Yule, and atleast 2 weeks during summers. It was under Stephan's careful administrations that Severus was soon lured into the true meaning of what Paris could offer. Places he could never dream about became opened to him, elite groups of people became his friends. 

All of the clubs they went to catered to people of Stephan's type of course, and Severus hadn't minded one bit. At first he had been hesitant, never having been with anyone, man or woman, so he hadn't the opportunity that most had. Parisians are a hotblooded people he soon found out however, they took their lovemaking as seriously as their city, and sometimes far more deeper. 

Some of the clubs catered to those who enjoyed love making of a particular type, although at first it had seemed a bit sickening to him. Severus declined any interactions of course, but the more he observed, the more he became intrigued. And soon he found himself embroiled in a different subtle art..the art of passion. His nights would be spent in more then one lovers arms, sometimes he never even knew his lovers name, but he learned that he hadn't any need to. They attended to his needs in every way possible, with no strings attached which was all that mattered. 

He loved Stephan like a child, unconditionally, and the fact he knew Stephan was paying for the privileges he had didn't make any difference. The fact that Stephan was always his first lover of the night before anyone else, that it was just the two of them lying side by side naked in each others arms before the rest of the young men would join them, was sacred to Severus. Stephan never would say he loved Severus, and Severus knew he didn't. It was more of a trust, a deep felt feeling of security the older man gave him, and he knew he felt the same towards Stephan. Love had no place in Severus Snape's life. Not then anyway. 

Which brought his mind back to the present, and the man who was sleeping in his bed now. He risked walking over to the bed and gazed down at the man lying there. Even in his sleep he looked haunted, tired, and for all the world Severus wished he could smooth that away. 

He tenderly reached down and pushed aside a lock of grey hair from Remus's face, noticing that the other man seemed to shiver at his light touch. Something within him stirred as he watched him, and he now knew why he had felt so alone and empty earlier. Because this man hadn't been there. Emotions began to fill him, and he stood there lost among them, trying to make sense of it all. 

Lust.. no...he had his share of those feelings in Paris all these years. Lust wasn't even a word he could use when he gazed at Remus J. Lupin. As far as he was concerned if he never had the pleasures of Remus Lupins body, he still would want him. 

Fear...no....that wasn't it, for he didn't fear him at all now. That night in the forest last month had dispelled any and all fears he had had since the not so innocent trick played on him all those years ago. 

Anger...yes...but not towards him...not really. Anger at what Remus had allowed to have done to him. Anger towards the way he had been treated, at how he had led his life till now. Anger at how Remus had allowed himself to become embittered and far older then his years. Anger that Remus thought himself nothing more then a monster. 

Sadness...yes...a sadness that this man was here in _his_ bed, and he would never be able to do anything about it. He respected Remus for what he was now, seeing past the werewolf, and he would never do anything to him that would endanger the fact that Remus was tolerating his presence. And by Merlin he wouldn't dare to dream that it could ever be more. 

More emotions filtered through him and he realized they all settled on one specific one. One that was growing so powerful he wondred just how long he could ignore it, but he had little choice. To admit to the emotion was throwing aside all the things he worked so hard over his life to accomplish, and putting himself in far to vulnerable a position. _*But if I could Remus...I would...gladly....for you I would do anything....*_

So lost in his thoughts he hadn't even noticed that Remus had woken up and was looking at him through half opened eyes. He had woken actually when Severus had brushed aside his lock of hair, but seeing the expressions flowing over his face he dared not say anything. It pained him that Severus was struggling with himself like this, and that he was possibly, or even probably the cause. 

The touch he had felt from Severus had been what caused him to shiver, the slight brushing of his fingertips had felt almost electric on his skin. Remus had never felt that, not even with Sirius, and it made him wonder. Sirius had been a good lover, tender at times, sometimes not. Whatever mood he had been in always seemed to come out during their lovemaking, and Remus could always tell quickly what those moods were. 

Images of Sirius flashed by in a matter of moments, and Remus realized that to call what they had done all these years 'lovemaking' wasn't even accurate, not by any means. Even when Sirius was gentle and tender, it was always just 'sex'. A one time per night deal that gave satisfaction and release, but never true emotion. And Remus realized that in all these years he had never once 'made love', because the emotions required for that act never existed. 

For once in his young life Remus wanted to know what that would be like. Risking a glance back at Severus from half closed eyelids he observed the man standing over him, but much as he wanted to believe that it could ever be, now wasn't the time. He still had to much to sort through in his life, and too many dreams had fizzled and been burned to the ground today. No...now wasn't right. 

He closed his eyes again thankful that Severus hadn't noticed he had been awake and listened as Severus finally walked away. His instincts told him that if he had chosen to respond to Severus, something most likely would have happened this night, and he almost felt a loss that it hadn't. But hadn't Severus made it clear he had no designs towards him, only seeing him as a test subject and nothing more? 

As Remus drifted back off to sleep a thought entered his mind that had he been more awake he would have questioned... 

_*Why was he by the bed in the first place then?*_

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-02 11:07:11 PM 


	7. Fatal Attractions Can Lead To Fatal Dist...

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Demeter - Dont worry...they're bout to get more then they bargained for :chuckles: And yeah, I thought that would be something Sevy would probably be able to do since he's so fond of saying how 'exact to art of potion making' is :P 

Evil - yey! If I've managed to convert even one person over to the side of Severus/Remus pairings I've done me job for the day :giggles: honestly though...it is you have to admit, one of the few tense, sexually charged pairings that works all too well. Remy/Siri is nice, but too 'friendly'...no conflict...call me dark sided but I must have conflict! :grins: Although I have read some good Sev/Harry, unless Harry is out of school or atleast 18 it's hard for me as an exteacher in RL to picture it...ah well that's just me :) 

**_~~~~CHAPTER SEVEN: Fatal Attractions Can Lead To Fatal Distractions~~~~_**

"It should work this time, we've gone over everything twice." Severus said peering into the bubbling cauldron for the hundredth time. 

"We could go over it again if you want...to be sure I mean..." Remus said hesitantly. 

"No, it should work. We've got less than half an hour till sunset, so maybe you should take the last goblet full now." Severus said walking over and picked up the special goblet he had decided to use for the potion. He held it for a moment rubbing his fingers over the designs on it. 

It wasn't a school goblet, one look at it anyone could tell that easily enough. Jewel encrusted with the Snape family crest, it had been a gift from his mother when he had obtained the title of Potions Master. And till now he had never once used it. But somehow he felt the occasion was something in which he didn't mind using the goblet. 

Remus glanced towards Severus speculatively, glancing at the goblet in his hand even though Severus didn't notice it. _*He's using one of his own goblets...for me?*_ he thought to himself surprized and a small sigh of wonder escaped from his lips. One in which Severus heard. 

"Something wrong Lupin?" he said. 

"Hmm? Oh nothing. Just hope it works that's all." Remus said distractedly and turned to gaze into the bubbling cauldron. 

Severus glanced at him worriedly. Since the day he had returned from Black's, Remus had been a much different person. Distanced, colder, less sure of himself. He disappeared into the library or other places of solitude with his case tightly clasped in his hand, returning hours later worn out and glassy eyed. He was much quieter then normal, even during meals, though the few staff members left now for the summer didn't seem to notice. 

And there was obvious reasoning behind that since it was the 30th of July, and the Poppy had said that the birth of Lily and James Potter's child was due any moment. The one who should have been talking up a storm and making toasts towards the new child's future was the one person hardly knowing what was going on around him. And at this point Severus had grown quite concerned, unsure of what to do about it. 

His feelings towards Remus had only grown worse over the last few days since he had gazed at him while he had been sleeping. It was getting to be a struggle hiding how he felt at this point, knowing how badly he wanted to wrap Remus in his arms and comfort him, to let him know he was there for him. But he couldn't. To allow that to happen would destroy the walls he had so carefully built round himself, and even Stephan hadn't been able to do that over the years. Yet...for Remus.... 

"We need to add in the last ingredient while it's still simmering. Could you get the purple vial that's in the store room?" Severus said turning his mind away from his thoughts. 

Remus didn't say anything but he did go get the vial. It took him a while to locate it since there had to be atleast 30 vials in the cupboard. It amazed him that with all those different vials, some even the same colours, that Severus could know exactly what was what without fail. Pulling out the purple one he'd been sent for however, he walked back into the classroom and over to Severus, held out the vial, and waited for him to take it, all without a single word spoken. 

Severus looked at Remus a moment before reaching for it. Suddenly the thought of the potion actually working this time didn't seem such a great thing after all. Choosing his words carefully he said, "You know Lupin, if this works you'll be leaving the school probably the next day or so. You'll have to let Dumbledore know where to reach you each month so I can send it via owl." 

For the first time in days Remus actually showed signs of emotions, only it was more fear and sadness then anything else. "L-leave? Oh...of course. I..I guess I didn't think of it. No reason for me to...stay..if the potion works. I"m sure you had plans..for the summer...I"m sorry if I've kept you from them." he said looking into Severus eyes. 

Severus's mind briefly flickered to the words "Paris" and "Stephan", but he quickly shook them away. Somehow those things seemed far far away now, almost as if they weren't real. What _was_ real was the here and now. The potion. Remus. Sweet, innocent, incredibly good looking, tortured Remus. And every single emotion within him that went along with that particular man. 

What Severus didn't know was that Remus was seeing far more in those coal black eyes of his then he could ever have thought. He was mesmorized at the fluid swirls cascading in them, showing him yet again a side of Severus Snape he hadn't ever thought could exist. Lately Remus's life had been full of misjudgments, and it seemed Severus was now another part of his life he been misled on. 

As Remus stood there gazing into Severus's eyes, emotions within himself began to form. _*How can eyes like that be so expressive? It's like he's seen the depths of both heaven and hell, and knows things noone else could possibly imagine....dark eyes with so much mystery...*_ No, he couldn't let himself think like that. Not now. Too much was at stake, too many questions he still had left unanswered. 

The book had been invaluable to him so far, showing him things he never dreamed of. In just a few days of learning the few dark spells he had, of trying to find a part of himself that he now knew for sure existed, he still had no clue what he was really getting into. But he liked what had learned so far, the feeling of power it gave him, even though it was a bit confusing. And Severus Snape was just adding more confusion to the mixture, albeit a rather interesting one suddenly. 

He wasn't sure what these odd expressions roaming through Severus's gaze meant, but he was getting a bit lightheaded at how his senses were responding. He knew that the day of the full moon always made him more awares then any other, and the book had in expressive ways informed him that the day of and the day after the full moon were a werewolf's most heightened times. Not just in strength, hearing, smell or touch, but in every single way possible. 

The one thing he finally had found out was why Sirius and he had never lifebonded, and it had come as a bit of a surprize to him. The book had been very exact on the process involved of _"Y Gwead Band'iau Gan Y Bleidd'ion" - The Blood Binding Of The Werewolf._ He had always thought that lifebonding was an exchange of love but it was far more then that. 

According the the ancient Welsh texts on which the book had been based (he found out that the book was written in Welsh, the only english in the whole thing had been the title but thankfully being Welsh he had understood it all), the joining of a lifemate required certain exchanges. Not just the emotion of what was love, no. It required more. Passion, understanding, trust, willingness to give one's soul to the other. And the final part of it was....blood. And the lifebond could only be done during one time..in the day of or the day just after the full moon. 

Even if the emotions had been there, even if they had done everything else it never could have happened between the two of them. Sirius had made it a strict point that he would never bed Remus during those nights. Remus doubted it was because Sirius had known of this lifebonding process, but simply that Sirius had felt it was wrong to have sex when he was about to become the wolf. And usually the day after, Remus was too tired or muddled to instigate or receive anything anyway. 

All these thoughts shuffled through his mind in a matter of moments, and he realized he was still staring into the murky black pools that were exclusively Severus's. He could have been there a minute or a lifetime, he wasn't even sure. However the sounds of the bubbling cauldron broke him out of his revere, and he realized Severus had been looking at him in much the same way. 

"The potion..." Remus said in a whispered voice, his mind still reeling from the gaze. 

Severus didn't move for a moment, lost himself in what that gaze had done to him. He stared down now at the vial in his hands that had been forgotten and back over to the cauldron. In a daze he uncapped the vial and poured in the contents, absentmindedly stirring it in then ladeling just enough into the goblet. He handed it to Remus who drank it down quickly, then sighed as a warning signal went off in him. 

"It's time to go Lupin." he said in a low voice, knowing now only seconds remained till sunset. 

Remus looked back at him startled, he'd heard those words before. _*.."Go Remus...I'm telling you to go..."* _The words ran through his mind and he shivered at them. Everyone always told him to go...his parents...the Ministry...James...Sirius...and now...now Severus... 

"Lupin?" Severus said noticing something wasn't right with him. What had he said to cause such a reaction? "Lupin...sunset...you have to go to the shack..." he said raising his voice when he saw Remus wasn't answering. 

"Sunset?" Remus said blinking momentarily as the words finally sunk in. _*Oh..of course! He only wants me to go to the shack...*_ Shaking away the memories he said, "I'm sorry Severus, I didn't realize. I'll go right away. You'll be watching again?" he said a bit hopefully. 

Severus smiled, one of the rare times he allowed himself to do so while at school, and nodded at Remus. "Of course. Now go ahead, sun's just gone down, you dont have much time." 

Remus set the goblet back on the table and without saying another word headed out the door of the potions classroom. Watching him leave was painful suddenly, Severus felt like Remus was walking out on him forever, even though he knew it was only for a few hours. He had resigned himself to the fact he was not going to go there tonight, not as human or wolf. He needed to know that the potion would work on it's own, not on his instigations of being a calming influence. 

Knowing he had a few moments he began to clean up the items they had been using. After everything was away, he rinsed out the goblet and took it back to his private room, making sure to put it back where it usually stood on the mantelplace. By the time he finally sat down infront of the Scrying Mirror, Remus was at the shack, and the moon was about to make it's first peek through the clouds. 

He watched as Remus removed his clothes, holding his breath at the sight of his naked form, and what it was doing to him. _*Oh my sweet Remus...if only it was me you were standing willingly there naked for and not because you have to be...you have no idea what you do to me....*_ his mind whirled, and even the now apparent transformation process didn't ebb the heat that ran through his body. 

That was until yet again sick horror welled up inside of him. The moon now at it's peek had completed the transformation, and yet again he watched as the wolf was not showing signs of calming down. _*Noo....it cant be! We did everything right, I know we did! We double checked everything! How can this be?* _His mind screamed, and again he prepared himself to flee his chambers. 

It was only as he was halfway out of the potions classroom that he remembered the vial Remus had handed him. Making a quick turn and grabbing it up off the desk he had set it on so he could refill it later, his heart stopped as he realized what the vial had contained. Sugar. And the truth of that hit him like a ton of bludgers. 

Running swiftly out of the room and out of the castle his mind was racing. _*Dammit, why didn't I see it before? Sugar! It's causing the other ingredients to break down to quickly while he's transforming..I forgot that when he transforms his body chemicals speed up...the potion never stood a chance with it! How could you be so stupid Severus not to see it before...*_

Unfortunately it was too late, as he got to the willow he could hear the sounds of the repaired trap door breaking, and he knew it was only a matter of seconds. If the willow wasn't moved out of the way before Remus got to the end he would find another way out of the shack, and the town of Hogsmeade would become a target. Something Severus had to prevent that at all costs. 

Taking a stick he pressed the knot at the base of the willow, and before he could even think he transformed into his wolf form, and waited. Seconds later he knew he had been just in time. The grey werewolf leapt out of the base of the willow into the warm night air, snarling and sniffing the air as if it had already known something was waiting for him. 

Severus wasted no time and went up to the werewolf circling round him to try and calm him down. _*Remus...it's Remus in there not just 'the wolf'...*_ he reminded himself. 

The werewolf was calm now, for it's new friend had come again and it was happy. _"Come with me...I'll show you fun places to play!"_ it thought to the other wolf, and leapt away joyously. 

Severus watched Remus for a second before following. This was going to be another long night, but this time he was looking forward to it. Remus in this calmed form was more child then anything else, wanting nothing more then to romp round and just have fun. A true marauder. 

By nights end they had been through parts of the forbidden forest Severus hadn't even known existed. He was beginning to understand the moves of the werewolf side of Remus, anticipation his moves and actions. When Remus would sometimes stop and sniff out something close by, something perhaps that ought not be messed with, it was Severus who had to lead him away from the dangers. 

It was almost with shock that Severus realized the sun would be coming over the horizon shortly, and he had precious little time left to get them back into the shack now. _"We have to leave..."_ he thought towards Remus, hoping that he would understand. So far Remus had been the one doing the thinking at him, he had remained silent, watching, observing and well...playing. 

_"Leave where? I dont want to leave...I want to play..."_ Remus thought poutingly. 

_"We can play later...the sun comes...we have to go back to where you came from..." _Severus thought back and pressed his nose up to Remus's shoulder pointing him in the direction of the willow. 

_"Allright...but can we play later? Will you be there?" _Remus thought back to him and started heading back grudgingly. 

_"I'll try...now we must go back...come...I'll go with you..."_ Severus thought to him and together they returned to the shack, and not a moment too soon. 

Just as Remus and Severus got back the moon faded completely, and the sun with it's orangy red tendrils began to rise from the horizon. Not more then a few moments later, Remus Lupin the man was lying there on the floor of the shack, Severus yet again sitting by his side. 

Severus looked down at the naked body of Remus and a dam finally broke within him. His body took on a mind of it's own, his blood pounded at his temples, and he took Remus into in his arms, half forgetting the rest of the world existed. Unfortunately right at that moment the rest of the world did, or rather a certain mediwitch did. One who this time hadn't forgotten the lunar phases. 

"Severus? I know you're in there because Albus said you are! Severus? **_SEVERUS SNAPE! BRING THAT BOY OUT HERE THIS MINUTE OR I'M COMING IN AFTER YOU!_**" Poppy Pomfrey bellowed down the underground passage. 

_*By Merlin's teeth you are the most annoying woman I know! Why can't you just leave us alone!* _he wanted to scream out, but instead he yelled back, "Coming Madam Pomfrey! Be right there!" 

_*You are such a coward Severus, you know that? Why didn't you just tell the woman to sod off and get it over with? What is she going to really say eh?*_ Severus's little inner voice argued with him. 

Severus quickly muttered the spell to get Remus dressed and picked him up getting ready to leave. _*Because if I did that I would never hear the end of it, and right now I only want to get Remus out of that woman's clutches. If I tell her off she'll never let me see him again probably so sod off will you?*_ Severus said finally answering himself. 

_*Allright I concede, that actually is a sound idea...but...do you really know what you're doing Severus?*_

_*A hell of a lot more then you think I do...now bugger off. I dont need Poppy seeing me arguing with myself allright? She thinks I'm batty enough as it is...so just leave me be for a while...* _Severus thought with a growl, and was satisfied when he received no answer. 

Glancing down at Remus to make sure he was still sleeping, he walked down the passageway and out to face Poppy Pomfrey, who was certainly not looking too happy. "He's allright." he said walking up to her and letting her see for herself that Remus really was allright. 

Poppy made a quick check on Remus and turned to Severus. "I dont know what game you're playing at Severus Snape but I wont stand for it. _I_ am the mediwitch here, and _I_ am the one who looked after him for 7 years. I think _I_ know more bout what to do then _you_ do." she said giving him a dark look. 

Severus was not going to be put off by this woman, not now anyway. "Madam Pomfrey, much as I highly do respect your skills, the fact remains that Remus _is_ allright. As you can plainly see he hasn't a single bite or scratch on him. If you recall, you yourself gave me a fair amount of healing training over the years, so I do think that all he needs is rest. He does not need to be cooped up in hospital for that." he said keeping his tone of voice neutral. 

Poppy looked at Severus for a few moments debating. It was true that Remus seemed in good condition, minus the sleeping but that wasn't anything to really be concerned about. The fact that he _was_ in that good of a condition is what concerned her, for if Remus _had_ been alone last night like he should have been, he would have had the usual bites and bruises like he had had the first 5 years of school. She never could explain how in the last 2 years that hadn't been much of a problem, just as it wasn't now, nor would she ever ask Remus Lupin why that was. Sometimes it just didnt do to antagonize a werewolf, nor it seemed now, Severus Snape. 

"Allright Severus, I concede. He needs rest though, and lots of it. If you need anything you know where to find me." she said in a huff. 

"Of course Madam, I will call if need be." Severus said giving her a slight nod of his head and turned round and headed back towards the castle. 

Poppy watched him walk away and suddenly one thing registered in her mind. Severus hadn't bothered with summoning a stretcher, he was carrying Remus in his arms. A slight smiled tugged at her lips and she nodded her head, walking towards the castle now herself. She wouldn't tell anyone just yet about what she had discovered bout Severus Snape this morning, probably noone would believe her anyway. Except of course Albus. If he didnt allready know which knowing him as well as she did, he most likely did. 

_*You're an odd one to be sure Severus Snape, but you have a good heart. You're walls may fool everyone else, but I'm beginning to see past them. Just don't hurt him Severus, or you'll answer to me...*_ Poppy thought to herself, and with that she headed back to her rooms at the castle, content in the knowledge she had learned. 

Meanwhile Severus had returned to his private rooms and was gently laying Remus down on the bed, making him as comfortable as he could considering the circumstances. Checking his side dresser to be sure that the vial of Curacion Potion he had developed was there, he spotted a few tears in Remus's robe that he hadn't noticed earlier and decided to do something about it. 

He went over to his wardrobe and pulled out a pair of red muggle pyjama's he had picked up in Italy a few years ago. They were extremely comfortable and one of the 3 favourite pairs of pyjama's he had (Minerva's being one of those pairs of course). Going back over to the bed he took his wand out and muttered the spell to remove Remus's clothes, and quickly remuttered the alter spell to redress him in the pyjama's. 

Putting his wand on the bedside dresser he gathered up Remus's clothes and brought them out into the potions classroom. Calling up one of the many house-elves of the castle, he gave specific instructions as to what he wanted, and the elf popped back out of the room with the clothes in hand, to be returned whenever Severus would call for it. 

Going back into the room again he shut the door and locked it with a locking charm so they wouldn't be disturbed. The last thing he really wanted nor needed was someone like Poppy Pomfrey or even Albus Dumbledore to just pop themselves in unexpectedly. With a tired stretch he went over and got into his own pyjama's, a pair of black cotton linen ones his mother had sent him years ago now, and they were his third favourite pair. 

He decided to make one last check on Remus then, just to be sure he was was allright. As he approached the bed he saw Remus had twisted off the duvet so he recovered him gently. As he leaned over Remus to finish covering him up he felt Remus move underneath him and give a small whimper. Alarmed he looked up straight into the now open eyes of Remus J. Lupin. 

He felt himself holding his breath as he got lost in those warm golden brown eyes yet again. Beautiful, mesmorizing and entrancing eyes. Severus wanted to get lost forever in them, and he very well could have. Time seemed to stand still, he wasn't even sure he could breath anymore. He heard a sound then, and realized it was himself. One word, one question. "Remus?" 

At hearing his name Remus's fog filled mind seemed to register who the person was leaning over him, even if he wasn't sure why. Somewhere a part of his brain registered what had been said, that for the second time Remus could ever remember, Severus had said his first name. It wasn't just the name that filtered through his mind, it was _how_ he had said it. He had never heard his name said in that way before, and he found himself more than liking it. 

Severus hadn't know how good his voice had sounded when he had said Remus's name, but Remus was acutely aware of it. Velvety, silky soft, tender yet laced with a huskiness Remus hadn't missed. Sexy. Sensual. His voice penetrated down into the very depths of Remus's soul, and he shivered slightly as thoughts began to roam through his mind. 

Severus picked up the shiver however and became concerned. "Are you cold?" he asked softly, though he didn't break eye contact. He didn't think he could. 

Remus nodded his head. He was cold, but not the cold that was part of the dungeons. It was an internal chill, one that a duvet nor a fire could heat up. Only one thing could do that, and he wanted it more then the world. He sensed Severus shift to get up, and put a shaking hand out to stop him. "No..." he whispered. 

"But...you're cold...I should get another duvet..." Severus said in that same voice, the voice that was wrapping itself round Remus better then any duvet ever could. 

Remus didn't trust his own voice any longer but he did manage to speak somehow. "No...no duvet..._you_..." he whispered in an unsteady voice. 

Severus didn't move. He couldn't have just heard what he thought he heard. "_M-me_?" he half whispered, afraid almost of the answer. 

Remus didn't speak, just nodded and looked deeper into Severus's eyes. He saw alot of emotions, some he didn't understand for as foggy as he still was, but a few he did. One in particular. One in which he was the most surprized. "Stay..." he finally whispered. And as soon as he said that he knew...knew that he wanted Severus beside him more than anything in the world, despite the fact he no longer remembered why. 

All that Remus could remember was something bout a book. Something from inside that book that was supposed to be important, but for his life he couldn't remember what. The only thing he was sure of was that he wanted...needed even...Severus to be near him, because in Remus's mind, that was the _only_ place Severus Snape should _ever_ be. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-03 4:04:34 PM 


	8. The Dangers Of The Dark Arts

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER EIGHT: The Dangers Of The Dark Arts~~~~_**

_Running. Screams. A high pitched laughter. The blinding flash of green. Voices stilled. "You see how easy it is? You see how they beg for mercy? Fear is power never forget that..." the voice said with a sickly leer. "There is no good or evil, there is only power...and those too weak to seek it...those are the ones that shall suffer." Laughter again, high pitched insane laughter..._

Knock knock knock. 

_"You're worthless. How I ever put my name to you I dont know. Stand up for yourself boy, you're a Slytherin! Now stop making excuses and practise what I told you to. I want that curse learned by tonight or you will go without food till you do!"...._

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. 

_"Stay..."_

**_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_**

Severus woke with a groan. He had had those dreams again. The dreams of torture, dreams of hate. Dreams in which he cowered and wished he could hide away forever from. Yet...the last dream...the last word he had heard... 

For a moment he was disoriented until he realized he was in his own bed. He hadn't slept in his bed in so long he almost had forgotten what it felt like. But that wasn't all. He felt a bit lightheaded and fuzzy, warmed even, yet there was no fire lit in the fireplace. So where was the warmth coming from? 

**_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_** "Severus? Remus? Are you awake?" a voice called out causing Severus to sit up with a growl. 

Turning his head round he realized with a start why he had felt such warmth when he'd woken up. He wasn't alone. Someone else was there in his bed. And glancing over at the sleeping form beside him he remembered. And a small smile came acrost his face. Remus. It was Remus he was next to. And it had been Remus's voice he had heard right before... 

**_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_** "Severus, Remus do come on and wake up! Such wondrful news, glorious news! You must come right off!" 

_*McGonagall. It never ceases to amaze me how this woman finds the most inopportune times to disturb me. What the bloody hell could be more important then being next to Remus in my bed?*_ Severus thought grumbling. However, he knew if he didn't respond soon she was probably going to take down his locking charms, and that was the last thing he wanted. 

Slipping out of bed so as not to disturb the still sleeping Remus, he put his dressing gown on and went to the door. Muttering the unlocking charms he poked his head out and said, "Keep it down, Lupin is still asleep. What do you want at this godforsaken hour of the morning?" he said with a growl. 

Minerva was not to be put off this day though, no not today. "Even _your_ dour moods can't sour me today Severus." she said with a laugh, which for Minerva McGonagall was highly unusual. "And for your information it's practically tea time, so wake Remus and you're both to report to the Great Hall at once. Albus's orders." she said with a silly looking grin and headed off before Severus could even respond. 

_*Tea time?! Bloody hell we've slept practically the whole day away! What could be so important though that Dumbledore wants us in the hall?* _Well he wasn't going to get any answers standing at the doorway that's for sure. He muttered an oath at the timing of the summons and headed back into the room. 

"Was that Minerva? What did she want?" Remus said with a yawn and sat up in the bed to Severus's surprize. 

"When did you wake up?" Severus said walking back over to the bed. 

"Oh...I dont know...just did I guess. What was it?" Remus said questioningly. Not that he was going to admit it, but he had woken up as soon as he felt Severus leave the bed, though he honestly didn't remember _why_ Severus had been in the bed in the first place. Though he certainly wasn't going to complain. 

"She said we're both to report to the Great Hall. Dumbledore has something he wants to tell us." Severus said grumbling again and went to the wardrobe gathering up what he was going to wear for the day. 

"Must be important if Albus wants us there. Great Hall though and not his office? Seems a bit strange." Remus said and began to look round for his clothes, and realized suddenly what he was wearing. "Err..um Severus?" he said hesitantly. 

Severus had been halfway to the bathroom to change before he realized Remus had called him. Turning back round he said, "Yes Lupin?" 

"You um...you haven't seen my clothes have you? And...er...that is...are these _your_ pyjamas?" he said blushing a bit. Wearing something as personal as Severus's pyjama's made him wonder exactly _how_ he had gotten into them in the first place. 

Severus tried to hide the pained look that momentarily past acrost his face as he heard Remus ask that last question. Collecting himself quickly though he said, "I saw you're clothes had some rips in them so I sent them off with a house-elf to be repaired. You can call for one to bring you're clothes back anytime you want." He hoped his voice wasn't wavering as he said that, and even more so hoped Remus would forget the pyjamas. 

"Oh...well that's allright then. Thank you. But...the pyjama's?" Remus said not letting go of the issue however. He had seen that look on Severus's face, and he needed to know what it could have meant. 

Severus turned back round so that Remus couldn't see the fact that he was the one suddenly blushing now. Which for him was quite odd since he hadn't remembered anytime in his life he had blushed, not even back in Paris when he'd seen Stephan naked for the first time. "Yes, they're mine. Put them in the laundry bin for me would you?" was all he allowed himself to say and practically sprinted off to the bathroom so that he couldn't be questioned further. 

Remus watched him dash off with a slight smile on his lips. Truth was he had already known they were Severus's, he had been sharing his rooms for 2 months now, not to mention that Severus obviously had forgotten he had worn these very same pyjama's himself at times. A part of Remus had needed to hear him say it though, to confirm that the only way he could be wearing these pyjama's was the Severus himself had put them on him. And he swore that just before Severus had turned round, he had seen a blush on his face. 

Calling for a house-elf he retrieved his clothes and finished getting dressed just as Severus returned from the bathroom. He really wanted a shower, but he could always take one later. Severus obviously had taken one though, as his hair was still a bit damp, and Remus's still heightened senses picked up the now all to familiar smell of patchuli oil, vanilla and musk that Severus subtly wore. 

Remus glanced at Severus as he went over to his wardrobe and started to rummage round looking for a robe to wear for the day. Something odd came to his mind then, and question in which he very much needed an answer to burned in his mind. Silently he walked up behind Severus and put out his hand, gently trailed his fingers through the back of Severus's hair. 

Severus whirled round startled but Remus didn't back away, his hand in the air as if he was still touching Severus's hair. "Wh-what are you doing?" Severus said in a half shocked voice. 

Remus looked at his hand, then back at Severus's hair, then right into Severus's eyes. "It's...soft..." Remus said in an oddly surprized yet hushed voice. 

Severus realized what Remus meant now, and probably why he had done what he had. A small half a grin came to his lips and he gave a low chuckle. "I should hope it is." 

"Why? How...?" Remus said questioningly. 

Now Severus did smile. "It's always been that way and I've grown rather attached to it is why. As to how....you sure you want to know?" he said, his smile faltering a little. 

Remus nodded slowly, keeping his eyes trained on Severus's still. 

"Don't say I didn't warn you then...." Severus said and took in a deep breath. "It's a Dark Arts charm...are you sure you really _want_ to know this?" he said all traces of his smile gone now. 

Remus nodded again. "Yes Severus, I _do_ want to know..." he said in a serious tone. Since he had gotten his book any and everything relating to the dark arts he wanted to know..._had_ to know even. 

"I"ll tell you Lupin, but I ask you to keep it just between _us_." he said waiting as Remus nodded in silent agreement. "It's the Bervani Charm." 

Remus tried to think if he had heard of this charm but he hadn't. "I've never heard of it, what is it?" 

"It's a 'resistance' charm. Dark wizards long ago were persecuted even more then they are now. Misled villagers or light wizards and witches would expose the dark ones, and would come after them with just about anything they could. Hot oil, burning torches, acidic potions...anything that could cause bodily harm or even death." 

"I remember reading that somewhere...like the Essex trials?" Remus said thoughtfully. 

Severus nodded. "That was one of the more well known times yes, but this goes back even further. The dark arts wasn't always bad, though few know it now. Some of the accused dark ones were merely just experimenting in things that known light witches and wizards were simply afraid of. Not for evil purposes even, just that they wanted to test their skills. They suffered for that at a costly price." Severus said with a sigh. 

"What does the charm do though?" Remus said quietly. 

"Noone knows exactly who created it, but it was the answer to the dark ones prayers. It was a sealant charm, able to resist practically every type of burn, acid, oil or whatever they would use. It saved more then a few dark wizards and witches life I can assure you." 

"A protectant....of course...." Remus said under more under his breath. Just as the witch in the shop had told him, that dark arts wasn't always a bad thing. 

"More then a protectant Lupin. A way of saving lives. Even if they were dark wizards and witches, they didn't all deserve to die. Some of them truely weren't evil by any means. The had to use the charm, they feared that the villagers would try and burn their houses down whilst they slept. Fear that became reality soon enough." Severus said sadly. 

"But why didn't they stand up for themselves? Or leave?" Remus said questioningly. 

Severus shrugged. "I dont know. There's know way to know why they stayed and risked their lives, but they did. The charm was the only thing that could keep them safe though. It was a perfect charm at first, undetectable by muggle nor wizard, unfortunately something happened to change that." 

"How so?" 

"The dark mages began to notice a flaw in the charm. The more you used it, the more detectable it did became. It would turn a person's body into becoming dour, sallow and greasy if used too long. You could physically age years in just a few short days. So they had to abandon using the charm because it became too much of a giveaway." 

"What happened then?" Remus said fascinated now. 

"Since they no longer had the protections, they fled. The charm became extinct, and noone bothered to waste time thinking on it again." 

"But...you did?" Remus asked hesitantly. 

Severus nodded slowly. "I did. I found the charm in an old book of my fathers when I was a child. I was always much more advanced then I let on to him, for reasons I dont want to go into. After months of research on it I realized where the fault was. With a bit of alteration I created a new version of it, the one you see now." 

"Amazing..." Remus said awed now and reached his hand up, brushing a lock of Severus's hair out of his eyes with his fingertips. "How did you alter it?" he said in a low whisper now. 

Severus closed his eyes for a moment as Remus touched his hair again, feeling the tingling sensations of Remus's fingertips brushed against his forehead. He shivered slightly at the electricity of those fingertips. _*Oh Merlin don't Remus...don't do that....you have no idea what you're doing...*_ was all his mind could think. 

Remus felt that shiver beneath his fingertips however, and though he felt himself responding, he wanted his answer first. "How Severus...?" he said in a low voice, surprized himself at how husky his voice was becoming. 

Severus shivered again at that, but he knew Remus wasn't going to let him go until he responded. "I...I altered it so that it would only effect the 'appearance'..not the skin itself. Since it never actually touches the...skin, it does no harm to me..." he said in a half whispered voice. 

"And...it still acts the same in protection?" Remus said softly, brushing another lock of hair out of Severus's eyes. 

"Yes...same...." was all Severus could breathe out as the second touch from those fingertips seared into his body causing him to shiver yet again. _*Stop...please stop...I'm begging you to stop...* _

Remus's breath caught in his throat as he saw Severus shiver for the second time and this time he couldn't stop his own body from responding. All thoughts of the previous summons, of whatever it was Minerva and Albus wanted were removed from his mind. Only one thought remained, that is was _his_ touch causing Severus to shiver like this...that _he_ was the one in control. 

Remus felt something welling up inside of him that was more powerful than anything he'd ever experienced. He _wanted_ Severus. He wanted to hear _his_ name on those lips, he wanted to be the one running _his_ hands through that hair. He wanted to take in everything that _was_ Severus Snape. 

"Severus..." Remus whispered slowly and stepped in a bit closer to where Severus was standing. 

Severus closed his eyes and leaned back against the wardrobe for support, his legs barely able to keep him standing. One more step...if Remus took one more step towards him he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself. 

"Severus..." Remus whispered again, a strange tone in his voice. Seeing Severus back away hadn't bothered him, infact it just made him want him more. 

Severus didn't answer, he didn't trust himself to answer. His name on Remus's lips, the tone of his voice was already pushing him to the limits. His voice...no longer the sweet quietness that Severus knew so well...this was torture. Husky, needful, demanding...wolfish almost. Enough to cause him to shiver yet again. 

Remus saw the shiver and something that had only been creeping now boiled to the surface. All the dark arts he had been learning recently, combined with the fact he still was in full use of every one of his werewolf powers tore into him with a vengeance. He didn't just want Severus any more...no...it had gone beyond wanting. He _needed_ him. 

Remus's consciousness began to abandon him, only the searing need to break Severus's careful control, to make Severus his and his alone is all that drove him. Echos of the dark stirred in his mind, coaxing him to give himself over to them, to use their powers to get what he wanted...what he needed. Closing his eyes for a moment he let those powers take him, oblivious to what he even doing. 

The moment he did however _he_ was the one that lost control. The dark took over...bringing forth everything that it taught him so far, as well as the powers of the wolf...strength, speed, instinct. Opening his eyes he didn't even know what this change in power had done to him. 

But Severus did, and suddenly he grew very afraid. Years of well tuned instincts to the dark had already told Severus something wasn't right. The moment Remus had opened his eyes however confirmed it...Remus was no longer Remus. 

Gone were the warm brown eyes from moments ago, they had now been replaced by yellowed irises...wolf's eyes. Gone was the soft and gentle mannerism, replaced now with a steeled guard, weary, ready to pounce at the slightest movement. Ready to kill for what it wanted. And Severus knew what it wanted....it wanted _him_. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-04 6:28:55 AM 


	9. Taking Contol Of Your Fears

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER NINE: Taking Control Of Your Fears~~~~_**

_Fear....there is fear in this man before me...._

Severus was afraid, no question he was afraid. This change in Remus, his sweet, innocent, benevolent Remus was more then he understood. Even during his uncalmed stages of the transformations Remus had never been this way. 

_Power...I have the power to make this man mine..._

Severus's thoughts grasped something then, clutching at anything he could remember about what Remus had been doing since he'd returned from Black that evening. This had to be Black's fault, what ever he had done or said had driven Remus to the edge. Driven him to what he was now becoming. 

_Need...I need to have him...touch him...taste him...hurt him...like I've been hurt...._

It was all too painful to Severus that Remus was allowing a power to ensnare him that he couldn't possibly control. But Severus could control it, he _had_ to control it or he would lose the person that Remus was. Remus might have the instincts, the speed, the insatiable appetite for what he had become...but Severus had the knowledge. 

A low growl from Remus's throat told Severus time was running out. He had to act quickly, yet in a way that Remus wouldn't know he was being manipulated at will. He had to turn the tables on him, if he had any hope of bringing him back. There was only one way then, and he prayed it would work. 

Closing his eyes he willed himself to relax, to let his subconscious mind merge with his conscious thoughts. He had to draw out his own dark powers now, not the ones Voldemort had given him...not the ones his father had subjected him to...but the powers he himself had learned as far back as he could remember. His own research, his own desires to learn what was forbidden. 

_What is he doing...what is this I feel from him...I need him...I will have him..._

It's not that Severus didn't want Remus, Merlin knew he did. Not like this though, not ever like this. He wanted Remus to be his on his own, not controlled by powers that were feeding upon him. As his thoughts merged to gain the strength to fight Remus an ironic thought passed through his mind. Voldemort was right..._Fear is Power...._

_He's like me...but no...he...he controls it? He feeds off it...he understands it?..._

Severus felt himself changing, needs growing within him as well, but not the same ones as Remus's. His need was far different, his was controllable, comforting, mouldable to whatever he wanted it to be. And right now he only wanted one thing...to bring back Remus....he focused his mind towards him.. 

_"I know you can hear me...listen to me...." _

_I hear you...but you will _not_ stop me..._

_"Let me help you...."_

_Help? I dont need your help....I just need _you_..._

_"And you _will_ have me...I promise you that...but not _now_..."_

_Yes _now_! You will _not_ deny me...noone shall anymore..._

_"I will _never_ deny you...but you _must_ learn the right ways..."_

_There is only _one_ way..._my_ way..._my_ needs...no more pain...no more fears.._

_"Fear is power...you must control the fears first...to stop the pain..."_

_Pain...what do _you_ know of true pain...of the torment that is _my_ life..._

_"I know more than you think I do...let me help you..."_

_You'll use me...like he used me...hurt me....like he hurt me..._

_"No! I swear to you I will not...not now nor ever...I could _never_ do that to you..."_

_How can I trust you? Why should I believe _you_?..._

_"Because...because of this...."_

Something began to penetrate Remus's cloud filled mind. His body became warm, his soul became eased. Emotions he had never felt before invaded his senses, and one emotion...more powerful than any other he had ever felt enveloped him...and he finally understood. 

_You...how...is...is it possible?..._

_"It's been there for so long...I just didn't have the nerve to tell you...I was afraid.."_

_You...were...afraid?...of me?_

_"Not of you...because of you...because of what I felt...then...and now..."_

_You...you will help me?...you will show me what to do..?_

_"Yes...let it go Remus...release the dark...and I will show you whatever you want..."_

Remus closed his eyes for a moment and whimpered, trying to do as Severus asked but found he couldn't. The dark wasn't releasing him...it was fighting him. Playing with him, taunting him. Refusing to let him go... 

_I can't...it won't let me go...I can't stop it...it's too strong....Severus help me..._

Severus became alarmed now. He knew if Remus didn't take control now, it would be very hard to bring him back from the dangerous state he was in. As neither full werewolf nor full man if he didn't let his powers go soon he could end up like this forever, growing in both powers until it either consumed him...or killed him. 

_"Fight it Remus...you have to fight this...you must not let it win...."_

Remus reached down to whatever consciousness he had left and tried again to do as asked. The more he tried though the more he couldn't. It hurt him...not just emotionally but physically. The more he fought the more the pain washed over him until all he could do was whimper in torment. 

_I can't do this...it hurts...too much pain...I'm so tired of pain...I..._

Severus could feel Remus losing control again. If he did, it was all over. Remus would be gone and even Severus's knowledge couldn't bring him back. But if Remus couldn't fight it...what else could he do? 

_You're mine now Severus...no more pain...no...now I"ll be the one giving the pain..._

Suddenly Severus understood. Of course...it was so simple! Remus had allowed himself to be taken over _because_ of Severus. Because of Remus's need for _him_. But if that need was sated...if it was no longer a threat...then the powers consuming Remus would have nothing left to feed on. It would let him go. 

Much as Severus hadn't want it this way, it was the only choice. He had wanted them both to be in full control over their bodies and emotions if this were to ever happen, not heightened by uncontrollable forces. It no longer mattered what was right or wrong now now, the fear of losing Remus forever overruled everything. 

Something was wrong though, Remus could feel it. With this renewal of dark art powers coursing though his body he felt something different. This wasn't about need anymore...it was something else. Remus wanted something far more then to make love to Severus....in a half seconds moment of clarity he remembered something...a book...and what that book had told him he could to do to stop the pain.... 

Severus felt a shift of energy from Remus and become concerned again. He became confused at the signals he was getting from Remus. This was no longer primal need, it went beyond that. A moment ago it had seemed all so simple...let Remus take him and remove the threats. Now though.... 

"What do you want from me Remus?" Severus said outloud, breaking the mindlink and looking directly into Remus's wolflike eyes. 

"_You_...I want you..._all_ of you...to claim you as my _own_..." Remus said in a low growl. 

"Claim me? I don't understand..." 

"Ha...you think you know so much...but you _don't_ Severus..." Remus said mockingly. 

"Tell me then...let me understand..." Severus said softly, pleadingly even. 

"It's more then just power Severus...it's me....what _I_ am..." 

"You mean the wolf...?" Severus questioned. 

"You _never_ understood did you...I _am_ the wolf...it _is_ me...there is _no_ inbetween..." Remus said menacingly. 

"But there is...I've seen it...you _can_ separate yourself from it...." 

"I was a fool to do so...I ran from what I am...all these years...I feared myself above everything else...I feared of what I was capable of...but no more..." Remus growled angrily. 

"Remus...please...you dont know what you're doing..." Severus said in whispered voice. 

Pure hate burned in Remus's eyes and before Severus even knew what was happening he found himself being flung against the wardrobe, Remus's hand on his throat. "_Don't!_ Don't _you_ dare tell _me_ I don't know what I"m doing! _Everyone_ always tells me how foolish I am...my parents...my friends...Sirius...no more..._no more!_" Remus spat back angrily. 

"Remus you're not...I never thought you were were..." Severus said back breathlessly. 

"You think I don't _know_ what's going on? You think I don't _know_ how all these years everyone has tried to make _me_ into what _they_ wanted me to be? How I've had to pretend to be something I'm _not_? And you...even _you_...oh yes...I can sense it..._you're_ as much of a pretender as _I_ am Severus...yet you're trying to change me too..." 

"You're wrong...I _don't_ want to change you...I just want to help you..." 

"_Help me_? Again you speak of helping me...but how could _you_ help _me_...no...now only _I_ am going to help myself..._this_ is what I am....now it's _my_ turn Severus...and you will _not_ stop me!" Remus said with a ragefilled growl, pulling Severus towards him roughly. 

"Enough Remus! Let him go...**_now_**!" a voice said authoritively from the doorway. 

Remus hadn't heard this intruder come in and was less than happy about it to say the least. Throwing Severus to the floor all he could think was that this intruder dared interfere with him and his prey. With a growl of pure fury he flung himself towards the intruder, only to be stopped dead in his tracks. 

"_Stupefy_!" the person shouted and within a second Remus was on the floor himself, a crumpled figure at Albus Dumbledore's feet. Walking over to Remus he checked to make sure that he hadn't been harmed in the fall, then walked over to help Severus get up. "Are you allright Severus?" he asked concerned. 

Severus was still a bit shocked but nodded, surprized however to see Albus. "How...why are you here?" 

"I grew concerned when neither of you came to the Great Hall as Minerva asked you to do. As I approached the dungeons I knew something wasn't right, that this was where I had to be. It seems I was just in time." Albus said walking over to exam Remus more thoroughly this time. 

"Headmaster...what...what happened to him? Why is..." Severus said walking over to where Remus was lying on the floor, sadness in both his eyes and voice. 

Albus sighed and shook his head. "It is not my place to speak on the whys and whatfors of Remus's behaviour. That is for him and him alone to say. However, I will say this to you Severus..sometimes things happen for a reason. Trust can be so easily lost, but it is far more worth it to gain." Albus said looking at Severus with an odd expression. 

Severus looked down at Remus, then back up at Albus and in that moment he broke. Yes Remus needed him, he knew that now. He needed Remus's trust more than anything, but he wasn't the only one. Severus needed trust from someone else...he needed the trust of a man who knew what it was like to be in middle of a waging war and win. A man who had trusted _him_, despite the fact he was the one who _shouldn't _have been trusted. 

"A-Albus?" Severus said kneeling down and putting his hand ontop of Remus's, a decision now strong in his mind. 

"Yes Severus?" Albus said gently. 

"Help me...tell me what to do..." Severus said softly keeping his gaze on Remus's now gentle looking face. 

"I cannot tell you that Severus. That is something only you can do for yourself. But I am always here, and I will always listen." Albus said and turned to leave the room. 

Severus didn't want him to leave, not yet. Just as Albus got to the door he said in a hushed voice. "I serve Voldemort...I"m a spy..." 

Albus stopped and stiffened, though he didn't turn round. Severus sensed more then saw this, but he knew if he didn't keep going he would never be able to do this again. "I have been for years. I hate what I am...what I've become....in my dreams...even my waking moments...I run...it's easier for me to be hated by all then to be liked by even one person...that is...until now..." he said softly. 

"Why Severus? Why now?" Albus said turning round finally and walking back to him. 

Severus brushed a lock of hair from Remus's forehead gently, a look of pain and sadness on his face. "Because I see now that way isn't right...it's not what...who I am anymore...even when I finally know love...that love is returned only by the dark..." he said choking back a sob. 

"It doesn't have to be. Love knows no bounds nor can it distinguish right from wrong Severus. It is only ourselves who judge that. It is only we who fear the truth when we cannot understand it." Albus said gently. 

"Help me...I'm begging you Albus...how can I know for sure what I feel is truth if I can't face even my own demons?" Severus said tears finally sliding down his cheeks. 

Albus was silent for a moment. Finally he said, "But you already have Severus. Now you've seen what happens when a person loses themself to the side of darkness. You cannot stop being who you are, but you can use _what_ you are...for the path that is right. For the truth you so desperately seek." 

Severus looked up at Albus through tear soaked eyes. All these years of pretending, for like Remus had said that's all he _had_ been doing...all the years of suffering...or torment...when he could have been free. And by all he held sacred, he wanted to be free. For Remus...he _needed_ to be free. 

"I"ll do whatever you want Albus. I"ll risk my life...my soul...to be freed from the hell that is my life. But I can't do this alone...so I ask you again...will you help me?" Severus said in a determined voice this time. 

Albus put his hand on Severus's shoulder and nodded. The twinkle back in his eyes, a smile on his face. "Yes Severus, I will..._now_. The first step to truth is admitting you _want_ that truth, that you'd be willing to sacrifice _everything_ to get it. You have shown me that is now the case. Come to my office after dinner, we shall talk." 

"Remus? What of him? What happens now?" Severus said concern showing clear in his face. 

"Bring Remus with you. I think it is time the both of you meet certain people that can help you. I have removed the dark forces from within him for the moment, and I must ask you to watch over him carefully. Be forceful if you have to, but do not let him wander away unattended again. He is what _he_ is Severus, he knows that, but he can also be taught what is right from what is wrong." 

Severus sighed in relief and nodded. "Yes sir. I promise I _won't_ fail you. We'll be there after dinner. I"ll protect him...even if it means my life..." Severus said gazing back down at Remus gently. 

Albus nodded his head and smiled. "I know you will...I trust you Severus." he said softly and turned to leave once again. 

Severus suddenly remembered why Albus had been down in his rooms in the first place and yet again as Albus got to the door he looked up and said, "Why did you want us in the Great Hall anyway? What was so important?" 

Albus stopped and gave a small chuckle. "Ah yes, I had almost forgotten. I was to tell you that last night at exactly midnight Lily Potter finally gave birth. It is a boy, and they have named him Harry. Tell that to Remus when you wake him up will you?" 

Severus grinned and chuckled himself. "Well well, a day of surprizes eh? I will tell him, thank you Albus. I'm sure he'll be very happy." 

Albus nodded slightly and left the room, confident that everything would work out after all. Remus needed guidance. Severus needed truth. Together the two of them would be able to conquer the dark, and Albus knew the side of light had just gained two new allies in the fight against evil. Or rather...perhaps that should be three. For if Albus had sensed correctly last night at St. Mungo's...little Harry Potter was going to play a very big role in defeating the dark and restoring peace to the wizarding world. Perhaps not now, but soon. 

It was with a much lighter heart that Albus Dumbledore returned to his office to make the arrangements for certain people to be present after dinner. He knew it had taken alot for Severus to finally admit what he had suspected for a long time now. Not that he would have questioned him, it wasn't his place to do so. Pride goeth before the fall they say, and on this day, Severus Snape had learned that lesson all too well. 

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

2002-05-05 2:18:18 AM 


	10. Whoever Said Love Was Easy?

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER TEN: Whoever Said Love Was Easy?~~~~_**

Severus gazed down at the still unconscious Remus with a sigh. It was hard to believe that someone so innocent, so purehearted could have turned to the dark arts. Yet clearly Remus had, though why was still somewhat of a mystery. Was it possible that Remus was suffering that badly that he thought it was the only way out? 

Gently he lifted Remus in his arms and took him back over to the bed. He could have woken him at anytime but too much was still flowing through his mind yet. This might be the only opportunity to find out why Remus was doing this, and what he was disappearing lately to do. Going over to Remus's case, the one thing Remus always had in his hand when he would go somewhere he unzipped it, and found exactly what he was looking for. 

The book was old, no question there. Dark arts magic oozed from it causing even him to shudder, yet Remus obviously had had little problem touching it. Steeling his nerves he picked up an extra candle and walked over by the fireplace, settling himself down to figure out what exactly this book was doing to Remus. 

Half an hour later he still had few answers. He was having a bit of trouble deciphering the Welsh, so he assumed that it could have just been in his translating, but most of it didn't make sense to him. _*Could it be meant just for the werewolf to understand then? Is that why I don't understand? Remus does understand though, even if he can't control it yet...but he does understand....* _

Rubbing his temples he flipped over to the next page of the book and after a quick glance at the chapter sat up straight. As he started to read the chapter finally he began to understand a part of what had happened a little while ago. What Remus's words meant when he told Severus he wanted to 'claim' him for his own. 

_~~"Y Byd'aun Cychwior Defion Gan Y Bleidd'ion"~~_

_ ~~The Life Mate Rites Of The Werewolf~~_

_The process of the lifemating is one of complex situations. It was once thought that the claiming rites could take place during any sexual act, only an exchange of words would trigger the occasion, however that is not that case. The werewolf in question needs far more that simple words to claim a person to their souls. _

_The process is formed by many stages including the time, place, emotions, and the inevitable exchanging of love, passion, trust and blood. Even if the rite is performed during the correct time, without the exchanges of the other parts of the rite the claim will not consummate._

_First and foremost the timing is essential. The only time that a werewolf can claim another is the day of or the day after the full moon cycle. The lunar phase during this time causes the highest peeks in the werewolf's body, mind and soul. It is recommended therefore that the rites take place during or right after sexual passion on those days, since the werewolf and it's mate are already in position to accept the claiming with little efforts._

_Emotions play a key role in the claiming. The werewolf must want the person enough to have them as their own for life. Lust does not play into the scene, only pure love can be used. The werewolf must love the second party, if need be to the point of pain, even if the second party is not of the same mind. The werewolf must be the one with the key emotions, which provides that if it is the unwilling party it cannot be forced into the rites._

_Trust and understanding is essential. The werewolf must believe in itself and that what it is doing is right or the claim will backfire. If the werewolf is of the mind to do tis claim then it will do what is necessary to provide and protect, going so far as that it would even kill to defend it's claim. Werewolves are territorial, and it's lifemate will be considered it's property once the claim is made, therefore it must willing to accept it's mate as a sharer in it's territory, trusting that the mate will provide and protect them back._

_The final exchange of the blood is the sealing of the rites. No instrument other then it's own teeth is acceptable for the exchange. It doesn't matter where on the body the bitemark is made as long as blood is drawn from it. Every werewolf is an individual in scent, it's blood is as well is marred with that scent, and the blood exchange will allow that scent to be transferred to the second party._

_Taking the blood upon it's lips, the werewolf will merge it with another blood drawing bitemark placed anywhere upon it's mates body. The blood will mingle instantly, marking their mate internally as well as externally. The bitemarks made by the werewolf during the rites will never fade. It is the only physical mark of the claiming._

_Internally once the blood is mingled, if their mate is a non-wolf, it will intertwine the properties of the werewolf within them. Though the non-wolf will never have to submit to the transformations themselves, they will become aligned to the werewolf. They will find during the full moons a heightened sense of reality. Hearing, touch, taste, smell, instinct, speed and strength become advantages. _

_Once claimed both werewolf and it's mate will find a spiritual link as well. Even if separated for vast amounts of time or area, they will always know if the other is safe or endangered. At times even strong emotions can be sensed or focused to the other person. They can share a mindlink as well, but refer to chapter 18 - Uses of the Dark Arts in Psychic Connections, for more information on that._

_The claim must be treated with caution however. Though essentially easy to consummate, it is a claiming of forever. With the blood exchange the two become one soul, and therefore should the werewolf or it's mate die so shall both die. Therefore it is advised that should a werewolf choose to take a non-wolf as a lifemate, that it is done willingly by both parties, and that they are both in control of all functions at the time of the exchanges.~~_

Severus wasn't sure what to make of all this. The fact that Remus had wanted to claim him as his own meant that...could it be possible Remus wanted him _that_ much? Not even that Remus wanted him but...that he loved _him_ as well? _*It can't be possible though...he's never once made me think he's interested in anything other than the potion I'm making him....even after I let him know how I felt he didn't say he felt the same way...then again he wasn't quite himself either at the time...*_

A sound from the bed alerted him Remus was coming out of the spell on his own, so he quickly shut the book and put it back in Remus's case, making sure to close it back up. Going over to the bed he saw Remus's eyes were open, but he was staring up at the ceiling still a bit dazed. 

"Lupin...?" Severus said gently sitting down on the bed next to him. 

Remus looked over at Severus as if he wasn't sure who he was at first, but after a few seconds his memory began to return to him...or atleast some of his memory. "S-Sev..erus?" Remus said in a raspy voice while thinking _*What happened to me? Why do I feel so drugged?*_

Remembering that he still had the vial of Curacion Potion on the bedside table, Severus reached over and uncorked the vial. "Drink this." he said and with his help Remus managed to drink down all the contents. Lying Remus's head back down on the pillow he said softly, "It's allright. You're still feeling a bit of the effects of the stupefy spell, but the potion will work quickly." 

Remus could feel the potions effects working allready, and he became strong enough to focus himself now. "St-stupefy spell? I dont understand..." he said confused. 

"Don't worry about it now. Just let the potion work." he said. After a few moments he said, "How do you feel now?" 

"Better, thank you....but what happened? The last thing I remember was..." Remus began and certain memories came flooding back into his mind. Blushing a bit he said, "I'm...I'm sorry...that...I asked about your hair. It wasn't my place to do that..." 

Severus put the vial back on the dresser and looked at Remus oddly. "What exactly do you remember about that?" 

Remus tried to concentrate further on the events but found something was blocking his memory. With a sigh he said, "Not much. I remember you told me about the Bervani Charm...that's how you're hair is so...er...that is..." For some reason it embarrassed him a bit to be discussing Severus's hair all of sudden. 

Severus gave him a small grin though in reassurance. "Soft..yes. Now you're the second person who knows that I really do take good care of my hair actually. First of course being myself." he said with a chuckle. 

Remus grinned. "Well after two months I did have to say I wondred. The shampoo...is that the scent I smell all the time?" he asked questioningly. 

Severus tried to think of what scent it was Remus was speaking of. "Scent? I"m not really sure actually.....my shampoo isn't normal wizarding stuff if you hadn't realized it. It's my own concoction, though most would say it's something hardly worthy of a potion master's skills eh?" he said grinning. 

Remus laughed. "You are full of surprizes sometimes Severus Snape. Vanilla by the by...with traces of patchuli oil and musk. That's the scent." 

"Ohh...yes I understand now. The vanilla is the extract for the shampoo, the patchuli oil I use as a base for the conditioner. The musk however...that's cologne. Something from France actually. It....it was a gift from...a friend...you could say..." Severus said slightly embarrassed. Stephan had been the one to give him the cologne each year on his birthday, not that it was something he was going to tell Remus of course. 

"A...friend huh?" Remus said and a pang of jealousy suddenly struck him at the way Severus had said the word. Shaking it off though he said, "Well...I like it. It smells nice...all of it does. I guess it's still a bit strange when I'm here looking at your hair as it appears, but knowing what it really is like..." 

"Well perhaps one day you'll get another chance to make sure it's really not what it appears." Severus said with a smile, aware of the strange look Remus gave him for that comment. 

"Perhaps..." Remus said reflectively. Which led his thoughts elsewhere for a moment, and as to why he was lying here in the bed. "Severus what really happened? I know something did, but I...I dont know what...." Remus said with a sigh. 

Severus looked at Remus for a moment debating what exactly to tell him. He knew parts of what happened he did have to tell him, but exactly how much of what happened was the issue. Finally he decided to tell him as close to the truth as he could. He explained how Remus had gotten himself lost over to the dark arts powers, how Severus had tried to bring him back (without telling him of his offered emotions at that time of course), and how in the end the dark arts won. 

"Albus came in perfect timing however, I couldn't control what was happening any longer." Severus said with a sigh. "He had to stupefy you because you tried to attack him." 

Remus was paler than a ghost at hearing all this. "You...I....I _attacked_ Albus? Oh Merlin what have I _done_?!" Remus said with a half sob and put his hands to his face in shame. 

"Lupin no, listen to me. Albus _isn't _angry with you, I promise you that. What happened....was unfortunate. You didn't know, it's _not_ your fault. It doesn't make you any less of a person, believe me I know." Severus said softly. 

"You don't understand...how could you possibly understand what it's like Severus? You've got everything here...a home, a job, security...you know who you are, you accept it..." Remus said looking at Severus with tearstained eyes. 

"You're wrong, I don't. You don't know what _I've_ done, what depths _I've_ sunk to thinking it was the only way out. I"m hated because I _choose_ to be hated, because it's easier for _me_. What I know of the dark arts...what it has done to me..._noone_ would want to like me...." Severus said sadly. 

Remus stared at Severus as he spoke. He didn't know why but it hurt him to hear that from Severus. Shaking his head he said, "Not _everyone_ hates you Severus, whether you know it or not..." 

Severus snorted. "Besides Albus, name _one_ person who _doesn't_ hate me Lupin." 

"Me." Remus said softly, almost more of a whisper than anything else. 

It was Severus's turn to stare at Remus this time. _*Did he just say what I think he did? Does he really mean it? Merlin tell me he does...tell me I have a chance here!*_ "_You.._.?" was all he could say outloud however. 

Remus nodded and a small smile came to his lips. "Yes _me_. Why is that so surprizing?" 

"Because...you...all of you I mean...you always hated me. Even when I wanted to try to be friendly...oh hell Black tried to kill me because of..." Severus said stopping what he was going to say. 

"Because of what Severus? Sirius never told me what happened that night, not till I got to Albus's office and was facing you and everyone else. What was it?" Remus said in a low voice. 

Severus looked at Remus and sighed. "You want to know the truth...I"ll tell you. Black found out the real reason I always followed all of you around. It wasn't because I was jealous of Potter's abilities...no. It was _you_ Lupin. I wanted to...I wanted to get to know you....to talk to you...I wanted to be with you...." 

"Why...?" 

"Because I liked you Lupin...that's why. Of all the people in our year...you...you were the one that I wanted to be most like. Everything about you I was envious of...I wanted to be everything but what I was...there were times I wished the sorting hat had put me anywhere but Slytherin...just so I'd have had a chance to talk to you..." Severus said quietly. 

"You didn't want to be a Slytherin?" Remus said surprized. 

Severus gave a weak laugh. "Merlin no. I wanted to be a Ravenclaw. But...my father...if I hadn't gone to Slytherin he would have probably killed me...or disowned me which was about as bad. Now I wish I had been brave enough to go to Ravenclaw, it would have saved me from what I've become now." he said sadly. 

"But look at what you have accomplished Severus. Professor at Hogwarts, Head of Slytherin House, Potions Master...and all by the age of 24! Do you know how rare those honours are for someone that age?" Remus said. 

"And I'd give it all up in a moment to get my soul back Lupin! Honours mean _nothing_ when you've turned your back to the right side and joined the wrong side...when you're alone and afraid...what good is awards when you have _nothing_ to base them on?" Severus said resentfully. 

Remus didn't know really how to respond to that. "What...what do you mean...to get your soul back..? What have you done?" he asked questioningly. 

Severus sighed deeply and shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore. From now on I'm going to do what I have to do to fix what I've done....and to try and mend myself. I"m so tired of being what everyone expects of me. That's why I envied you so much back in school Lupin. You were everything I wasn't...gentle, kind, caring, giving, accepting. You're eyes always held so much expression in them...I wanted those eyes to show that towards me..." 

"Oh Severus...I'm so sorry. I didn't know...I wish...I wish you had told me the truth back then." Remus said sadly. 

"How could I? You're a Gryffindor...I"m a nasty slimy Slytherin. But Black...he found out the truth. He saw how I watched you, how much I wanted to be near you. He was so jealous that he could burn holes in me with his stares. Of course I didn't know that you and he were....lovers...." Severus said painfully. 

"So _that's_ why he did what he did, of course...now it makes sense. He didn't want the competition, especially from you....a Slytherin. What he _really_ wanted though was to keep me on a leash...his pet..I know that now..." Remus said bitterly. 

"I'm not going to ask what happened recently between you and Black but...I know he hurt you. He's a fool to have done that. How could anyone ever hurt _you_?" Severus said softly. 

"Because I _let_ them Severus. I"m weak. Powerless to stop the pain...powerless to stop the fear that when I die it's going to be alone...that no matter what I do it can _never_ be good enough because...because I am a monster...a freak who can't even get a job and support myself..." Remus said with a sad bitterness. 

Severus couldn't take hearing that, not now. Taking Remus's hand in his he looked into Remus's eyes and said softly, "Remus Lupin, you are _not_ a monster. You are _not_ powerless...you _can_ stop the pain...and you _don't _have to be alone..." 

Remus was surprized this display of emotions from Severus, not to mention how good it felt to have his hand being held by him. "But...who would ever look _past_ the monster Severus? Who would ever just want...._me_?" he said with a deep sigh. 

"_I_ would...and I do...I always have...even after I found out what you were. I tried to hate you, I wanted to hate you...but I couldn't...I _couldn't_ hate you Remus...to hate you would betray a part of myself that still believed in you...in who you were when you weren't the wolf...which is why when I finally mastered the animagus potion...I too became a wolf...because of what I still felt...for _you_..." Severus said tenderly. 

"You're...an animagus? A..._wolf_?" Remus said shocked. 

Severus smiled then and nodded his head. "Unregistered though...easier that way. And yes, a wolf. They say that your animagus form reflects what animal you are in your heart...so to me becoming a wolf was no surprize. You've always been a part of what's left of my heart Remus J. Lupin...I just wish I had the courage to tell you sooner. I never would have made a good Gryffindor eh?" he chuckled. 

Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing. _*Is it real? He...likes...no...maybe loves...me? Not the wolf...but just...me?* _Suddenly Severus's words seemed to bring back a strange feeling that he had to find out if it was real or not. "Severus...?" 

"Yes?" 

"You...have you been coming to the shack with me during the full moons?" Remus asked hesitantly. 

Severus was surprized at that question. To reveal he had been at this point though wouldn't make much of a difference so he decided to tell him the truth. "Yeah. I have been..but that was because the potion wasn't working. I came across some research many years ago that said that an animagus is in no danger by a werewolf, and can sometimes even be a calming influence. That's the whole reason I became an animagus actually..." 

"You mean you did all this _before_ you even knew I'd accept you're offer?" Remus said half awed. 

Severus grinned. "I've been planning this for 6 years now. There was noone else in the world I wanted to do this for _but_ you. Professor Daniel's asked me to help you back then, he didn't know that I would have _anyway_. Even if he hadn't given me the original recipe for the Wolfsbane, I would have tried something like it on my own after that because I knew how much _you_ suffered from what you are." 

Remus chuckled. "You do make a good Slytherin Severus, sly and cunning to perfection. Why were you so sure though I would even come here?" 

Severus shrugged. "I wasn't. I hoped you would. If you didn't though I was prepared to seek you out, and make you listen to what I had to say. I _always_ get my way in the end you should know." he said with a grin. 

Remus laughed and nodded. "Seems so." he said. "What do we do now though? We have only one more chance left with the potion..." 

"Don't worry about the potion, I'm positive it will work this time. What we need to worry about is what you're doing to yourself right now." Severus said firmly. 

"Wh-what do you mean by that?" Remus asked surprized. 

"I _mean_ you're dabbling in the dark arts Remus. I'm not going to tell you to stop, that would be hypocritical coming from me...however, if you are going to continue to seek out the dark powers, then..." he said hesitantly. 

"Then what?" Remus asked. 

"Then _I_ want to be the one who teaches you. Though I think Albus has other ideas...for us both." Severus said with a grimace. 

"Albus? What does he have to do with this?" Remus asked puzzled. 

Again Severus shrugged. "I don't know exactly, but we're both to meet with him after dinner tonight. Something about meeting certain people who will help us." 

"Sounds like something typical of Albus actually." Remus chuckled. "Whatever it is though, will you be with me?" he said looking up at Severus now worriedly. 

Severus smiled and nodded. "Always Remus, that is a promise. I think now though you should get up and freshen up. My internal clocks tell me dinner will be served in about half an hour now, and you certainly can't go to the Great Hall like this now can you!" he half teased. 

"Oh really? And what exactly does _that_ mean?" Remus said coyly. 

"It means...that if you _don't _get up out of this bed right now Remus Lupin...I am going to have a hard time explaining to Albus of exactly _why_ we didn't make dinner...or his little meeting. So I highly suggest you get up _soon_..." he smiled all too sweetly. 

Remus laughed. "_You_ are incorrigible Severus Snape, and it's actually a shame we have to obey the whims of our esteemed Headmaster at the moment...because I now have no desire to get out of this very luxurious bed!" he said playfully. 

"And _you_...are a test of my soul Remus Lupin. Now I'm getting up, and I suggest you head into the shower yourself." Severus said letting go of Remus's hand and got himself off the bed. He had meant what he said actually, if Remus didn't get up...Albus be damned. 

"Oi allright allright I'm going." Remus said half groaning as he did get out of the bed himself now. "Cripes did he have to hit me that hard with the spell?" he said muttering at how sore he felt. 

Severus nodded his head. "Trust me, he did. The shower will help though. Oh, and by the by...Albus told me to tell you why he wanted us in the first place earlier." 

"Oh? What was it anyway?" Remus said halfway to the bathroom. 

"Lily Potter gave birth at exactly midnight last night to a boy. His name's Harry." he said with a grin. 

"A boy eh? Well James will be thrilled! Harry...Harry Potter...nice name you think?" Remus said with a huge grin. 

Severus chuckled. "Yeah, actually it is. Now go will you? You're allready giving me ideas I can't afford to have at the moment. Not unless you really _do_ want Albus mad at us?" he said grinning. 

Remus shook his head. "Gods no, not today! Despite the fact the day started rather badly, I think things are beginning to look up!" he said as a parting shot and dashed off towards the bathroom whistling. 

The fact that Severus had been calling him by his first name for the past few moments was icing on the cake. If Remus hadn't been sure before bout what Severus felt towards him, he certainly did now. _*And now James has a son! No, this day just couldn't get any better!*_ were his last thoughts as he closed the door to the bathroom and got ready to face the evening. 

Severus stood there a minute with a grin on his face as he heard the bathroom door close. There was only one thought running through is mind at the moment, and he had every confidence in what it was. _*You have no idea how much things are looking up Remus...no idea at all....and if I have my way....this day is far from over....I've waited over 6 years for this...and now there's nothing to stop me...*_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

2002-05-06 8:41:39 AM 


	11. The Order Of Things To Come

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER ELEVEN: The Order Of Things To Come~~~~_**

Dinner that night was quite a feast. Everyone was still in great spirits on the birth of little Harry Potter, and the butterbeer flowed freely. Even Hagrid got slightly tipsy giving Minerva a smooch on the cheek, and she returned it in kind. Remus of course was given hearty congratulations since he was the closest to the family. 

"Remus, are you planning on going over to the hospital to see the little one?" Minerva said cheerily. 

"Er...ah that is...well really I wasn't but um...I suppose I might if James and Lily let me." Remus said. 

"O' course you will Remus! Why wouldn' they wan' you to be there eh? You're like family to 'em!" Hagrid said giving Remus a pat on the back. 

Remus winced. "Er...right Hagrid. I'm sure I'll go." 

"Now now leave Remus be everyone. He'll go when he's ready. Now, since everyone's quite finished I do think it's time for me to retire for the evening. Remus, Severus if you would? We have some matters to attend to I believe." Albus said with his usual twinkling smile. 

"Awe Professor th' nights still young!" Hagrid said almost wistfully. 

Albus chuckled. "You may celebrate as you see fit Hagrid. I'm sure Minerva and the others will be more than happy to join you." he said good naturedly and headed towards the door of the Great Hall, Remus and Severus in tow. "Good evening all." 

"Evenin' professor!" Hagrid yelled out. 

"Goodnight Albus." Minerva said pouring herself and the others another round of butterbeer. 

"Night Albus!" Poppy Pomfrey called out. "Oh, and make sure Remus is in bed early Severus, he's had a rough day, you hear me?" she said eyeing both Severus and Remus intently. 

"Yes Madam I hear you." Severus said bowing slightly to her and heading out the doors. _*Oh I have every intentions of making sure Remus is in bed early....sleeping however, might be another issue entirely my dear woman...* _

As the three of them got to the stone gargoyle Albus stopped suddenly. Turning to both men he said, "Now, I want you both to know that it took quite a lot to convince certain parties that my intentions weren't for nought. I trust you will behave yourselves accordingly. I have every reason to believe that you deserve to be here at this time, otherwise I wouldn't have asked for this meeting." 

Severus and Remus both nodded. "Of course Albus. We won't do anything to make you or anyone else think your trust has been misplaced." Remus said firmly. 

"Yes, I promise you Albus we will." Severus said in agreement. 

"I know you will not disappoint me. Now shall we?" Albus said smiling and with the words, "Jelly Babies" the stone gargoyle opened allowing them all to enter. 

When they got to the room Remus and Severus were surprized. Collected in the room were some people they knew well, other's that they didn't, though they wondred why they were all there. A few of them were talking by the fireplace, some already had sat themselves in the various sofas and chairs. When the three of them walked in however, they all rose in greeting. 

"Ah good, is everyone here then?" Albus said nodding his head in greeting. 

"No, two people are still missing, though I can understand if they don't show up." one of the people said grinning broadly. 

Albus chuckled. "One of them will be here, he said he would. Now, I realize I was rather short in my summons of you all, and I do apologize for that on such a day as this. However I felt the need to call this meeting to order at this time for particular reasons." Albus said sitting down at his desk. "Boys you may take a seat." 

Remus and Severus felt a bit nervous but they found a spot next to each other on one of the sofas. Without even consciously realizing it Severus took Remus's hand in his, giving it a squeeze of reassurance. Though it was noticed by all present, noone dared would say anything, though a few did try to hide their smiles. 

"Now, if everyone would please..." Albus began but the door suddenly burst open. 

"Sorry I'm late Albus! Floo network was backed up at the hospital with everyone coming and going. Sirius sends his apologies he..." a voice began to say until the person noticed who else was in the room. 

"_James_?" Remus said jumping in surprize, although he could see James wasn't really all that happy to see him. "You didn't say James would be here!" he said looking accusingly at Albus. 

Albus smiled. "I didn't say he _wouldn't_ be either. Now, if you would take a seat James? Congratulations from us all on this momentous occasion of course. I trust our young Harry is doing well, as is his mother?" 

James nodded, though he was staring at Remus and Severus noticing that the two of them were holding hands. "Um yeah, he's doing fine. He's allready got us both wrapped round his little finger. Lily's a bit upset that Petunia didn't come but I say good riddance. Like we need _her_ kind round." James said with a grimace. 

"Now James you must learn to be tolerant of the muggles who don't see eye to eye with us." a man said from somewhere near the fireplace. 

James muttered. "She's not a muggle she's a bloody _nightmare_ Frank. Honestly you can't imagine how unmugglish she and that toad of a husband of her's _are_! Well atleast Lily is being occupied by Harry. You must all come see him, he is adorable!" James said grinning now like the proud papa. 

Someone laughed from off to his side. "If he's anything like you I'd say we're all in trouble!" 

James chuckled. "Oi yeah rub it in Ara. True though, he's the spitting of me but with Lily's eyes. He's just like his mum, going to be a heartbreaker when he grows up, but he'll have my Quidditch skills eh! His godfather's allready gotten him a toy broom!" James said grinning, though he did notice the slight shiver that passed through Remus. 

"That's....that's really great James. I"m sure he will be....I ah...guess Sirius...is his godfather?" Remus said hesitantly, squeezing Severus's hand tightly without even realizing it. 

James looked at Remus almost angrily for a moment, but reschooled his smile. "I thought I told you bout that...Remus." he said a bit coolly. 

Remus flinched, hearing his name said like that from James was all too clearly saying what James was feeling towards him. "No actually, you didn't. But...it's not a big deal, Sirius will make a good godfather. Then again he always _was_ better with children more then _adults_..." Remus said just as coolly. 

The two of them passed a look between them that spoke volumes. It was clear James didn't approve of what was going on with Remus, and Remus was not going to back down on his decisions any more to appease James. Finally though James broke the silent tension. 

"Remus, you're here before _us_ which tells me Albus accepts you and trusts you. But _I_ don't, not yet anyway. You've got alot to go before you can prove to _me_ you belong here." James said in a steely tone. "As for Snape..." James said turning to give Severus a glare, "I can't imagine why _you'd _be here. If I'd know _you_ were going to be here, I _wouldn't_ have come." he said coldly. 

"He is here at _my_ request James, do not forget that." Albus said as if reprimanding James who flinched as his tone of voice. "Severus has proved to _me_ that he _is_ worthy to be here, as has Remus. You can return back to Lily at St. Mungo's if you do not want to hear what has to be said." 

James looked from Remus to Severus then to Albus, and knew Albus meant what he had said. With a sigh and a nod at Albus he said, "I"m a member of this Order, I have not forgotten that Albus. If you think they should be here, then you know best." James said humbly. 

Albus nodded at James and turned to the rest of the people in the room. "Now, since Remus and Severus may not know all of you, would you please go round and say your names for them?" 

The people nodded and a woman off to James's left started off. 

"Arabella Figg." 

"Frank Longbottom." 

"Cindy Longbottom." 

"Mundungus Fletcher." 

"Arthur Weasley." 

"Molly Weasley." 

"Beatrice Bones." 

"Martin Bones." 

"Amos Diggery." 

"Dedalus Diggle." 

"Alastor Moody." 

"And of course you know myself and James. Sirius Black, who is currently not here obviously, is also is a member of the Order." Albus said smiling at the two men. "Now I"m sure everyone already knows the two of you, and since time is short for the evening, I will make this as quick as possible. Remus, Severus..the people before you all belong to an ancient group called the Order of the Phoenix. We are dedicated to one common goal, the elimination of evil forces in our world." 

"We are comprised of many different types of people. Aurors.." he said pointing to James, Frank, Martin, and Alastor. "Ministry officials..." he said now pointing to Amos, Dedalus, Arthur and Mundungus. "Healers..." he said pointing to Molly and Beatrice. "And of course our protectors..." he said pointing to Cindy, Arabella and himself. "Sirius of course, fits into the auror category." 

"All of these people are more than just trustworthy. They would give their lives not only for the members of the Order, but for the entire wizarding world if need be. They are the eyes and ears in the wizarding and muggle worlds. With Voldemort gaining more power and supporters daily, it is our job to report whatever we find, whatever can be used against him and the death eaters." 

"Albus, I don't understand though. Severus and I...we don't exactly fit into any of those err...categories exactly. What do you want with us then?" Remus asked puzzled. 

"Aye Albus, I'm of the same mind. You want these two here, that's fine. But what is it they can do for us? I mean a werewolf and a professor? Seems a bit off to me..." Alastor said grudgingly. 

Remus tensed at what was said, anger forming in his eyes. Just as he was going to bite back a retort, Severus squeezed his hand and cut him off. "Mr. Moody, I am well aware of your reputation as an auror. Perhaps, if the Headmaster will allow, I believe I can show you what _I_ am capable of..." he said coolly and turned to Albus for permission. 

At the nod from Albus, Severus began to speak again, keeping his eyes trained on the headmaster. "If I am correct in this, you do not want me to stop being what I am." he said keeping his voice calm though inside he was shaking. His growing suspicions were more then dormant now. He guessed what Albus wanted of him, and with a glance at Remus, he knew he was going to come through for him. 

"And what praytell _are_ you exactly Mr. Snape? Other then being a Hogwarts professor...oh and of course a Potion's Master." Alastor said though it was more mocking then Severus would have liked. 

Turning to Alastor now he didn't care what he would have to do to prove himself. From the moment he had told Albus the truth a great weight had been lifted from him, and he would gladly do anything Albus asked of him now. Even if it would shock the rest of the people in the room, including Remus. 

Gazing sharply at the older man, a dark look in his coal black eyes, Severus walked over to Alastor. Unbuttoning his left shirt cuff, and in the same hypnotic voice he used with his students to hold their attentions he said, "I"m _much_ more than that Alastor Moody. _I'm_ what _you_ fear the most. I _am_ the dark..." and with a fluid motion he lifted back the sleeve of his shirt to just past his elbow. 

Alastor's eyes grew wide and he swore. "Your one of..._them_!" he spat accusingly in an icy tone to Severus. If looks could kill, Severus would have been dead 1000 times over from the stare of Alastor Moody right just then. 

"Albus what the bloody hell are you _thinking_?" Frank said shocked. 

"Albus have you gone daft? Allowing a...a....a _deatheater_ to be teaching our children?" Molly said angrily. 

"Please, everyone calm down!" Albus said authoritively, and motioned for Severus to be reseated. Waiting for the furor to subside, and making sure Severus was reseated he said, "Now I understand you have your concerns about this. However, you of all people should know that I would _not_ have brought him here unless I knew what I was doing." 

"But Albus...really...a deatheater? Of _all_ things...how do we know he isn't a spy for...for...You-Know-Who?" Arthur said warily keeping an eye on Severus. "And forgive me but...how does Remus fit into all this? Is he also a deatheater?" 

At hearing that James finally had to say something. "Remus is no more a deatheater then _I_ am Arthur, on that I can vouch....atleast..." James said turning to Remus a pleading look in his eyes. "You aren't...are you Remy? Tell me this isn't because of Sirius...that you didn't....I could maybe handle it if you really are with..._him_...but...gods Remy...if you're a deatheater too..." 

Remus sighed and shook his head. "No James, this has _nothing_ to do with Sirius allright? Not anymore anyway. I admit that I _have_ been working in the dark arts..." Remus said giving Severus a glance and feeling the frightful stares everyone was now giving him , but he would hold his ground. "I know I've alot to learn yet, but I am _not_ a deatheater that much I assure you. But James, you have to understand something...I _am_ a werewolf...and I'm tired of pretending to be someone...something I'm _not_." Remus said turning to James a determined look in his eyes. 

James gazed back at Remus with a sad look in his eyes. "Oh Remy..." 

"No James. For over half my life I've been told I'm nothing. A noone. I could never compete with you or Sirius, and frankly I didn't care to at the time. Everyone has always used me, lied to me. You have no idea what it's like to be shunned for something you didn't want to be in the first place. I have been running for so long I don't even know who _I_ am anymore. But I know what everyone _thinks_ of me...I'm nothing more then a monster...an outcast. But _not_ anymore..." Remus said with his eyes blazing. 

"Remy that's not true...." James began, feeling very sorry for his friend and very guilty. 

"I _don't _want your pity James. What I _do_ want is for you to accept me for _who I am_. Severus and Albus are willing to give _me_ that chance. Now I ask the same of _you_. If you're _not_ willing to do this, then our friendship is at an end. But I warn you this...I _am_ going to continue my training in the dark arts, with or without _your_ permission. And neither you nor Sirius will stop me." Remus said surprizingly calm yet firm tone of voice. 

James looked at his friend as if it was the first time he was ever really seeing him. In all the years he had known Remus Lupin, this was the first time he'd ever really known how bad things were out in the real world for him. Even if it meant that Remus was going to be with Snape, atleast he would be happy, and that had to be better than this tormented, angry man infront of him. 

"You're right Remus, I _can't_ stop you...but I _will_ accept you. I admit I don't exactly _like_ the idea of you messing with the...ah...dark arts..._but_...if that's what will make you happy then...Oh hell Remy you're one of my best friends...do you really think I want to lose you over something like _this_? Besides, Lily will have my hide if I didn't accept you. You know she's always had a soft spot for you in her heart....next to _me_ of course..." James said with a half grin. "Friends?" he said then holding out his hand. 

Remus looked at James and let his anger and fears go. A smile came over his face and he felt almost like he was going to cry right there infront of everyone. "Oh James..." was about all he could say and rather then taking James's hand he swept him up into a giant hug with a laugh. 

"Oi you put me down! Merlin Remy you're squishing me!" James said with a faked groan as Remus did put him down embarrassed. 

"Oh sorry mate, forgot it's still the day after the moon...still have my strength..." Remus said blushing a bit, then went over to sit back down on the sofa, putting his hand back in Severus's, who turned to give him a surprized look. Ignoring it for the moment Remus turned to Albus and asked, "So..what did you want of us Albus?" 

The rest of the group, though still a bit shocked by all of this, seemed to relax a bit more after that scene. If James trusted Remus, then they had no reason not to. After all, though not well known, James was an heir of Gryffindor, he would know if someone was truely evil right? 

"Aye Albus, I still don't understand what you want these two to do for us...Remus may be allright..but Snape's still a deatheater in my book..." Amos said still a bit weary of this all. 

"Ah, therein you see is the answer. Severus _is_ a deatheater...infact he has been spying on _me_ for Voldemort." Albus said to the gasps of many in the room again. Before anyone could respond though he said, "Yes, this is truth, but I do think that his abilities and knowledge would be well suited for _our_ purposes. Call it...a turning of the tables..." he said with a twinkle in his eyes that were directed right at Severus. 

Severus held his breath a moment, he knew exactly what Albus was saying. Now there was no question in his mind what he wanted him to do, and he held his head up proudly, his black eyes blazing with renewed gratitudes. "I will do what you want me to do Albus. In front of these witnesses I renounce my association with Voldemort as _his_ servant. I now pledge my loyalties to _you_. I will be _your_ spy now, and _noone_ elses." he said with firm determination. 

Albus bowed his head thoughtfully at Severus for a moment. "You have show all of these people the courage of admittance, and the loyalty you wish to uphold. How will you show you're bravery to them?" he asked quietly. 

Severus was not daunted by this. In a very serious tone of voice he responded, "With my life. I am willing to take whatever risks I must, even if it means losing that life. I will protect these people, and the wizarding world, as best as I can. Put me to any test you wish, I will take it so I can prove my worth." 

The room was quite for a moment but then someone did speak. "I believe you already have taken our test young Severus Snape....and as far as I see it...you _have_ passed." Arabella Figg said softly. 

"I do believe Ara's right. It took great courage to admit what he is, and that he was wrong to believe in the evils of You-Know-Who...I trust him." Frank Longbottom said with a smile at Severus. 

"I agree with Frank. I think he will be an asset to the Order." his wife said. 

Amos, Mundungas and Dedalus conferred, then they too nodded their heads in agreement. "Agreed. He may be the only chance we have at obtaining inside information." 

The Bones's nodded as well. "We trust him...and Remus too. I think both of them will be good for the Order." Beatrice said smiling at both Severus and Remus. 

Alastor was thoughtful on the situation for a moment before answering. "I"ll trust 'em both...for now. Time always can tell with that lot." 

"I wouldn't expect less of you Alastor." Albus said jovially. "James? I know you will not speak for Sirius...nor would you considering the situation, so I will not ask. So far majority is in positive vote, but I would like to know what _you_ have to say." 

James too was thoughtful for a moment, but said finally, "Remy trusts him...and I trust Remy. So there you have _my_ answer Albus. But...what do you want from Remus anyway? You never did say..." 

"Ah, that is quite simple. Remus is going to be our liaison to the dark creatures. If we can bring them to our side before Voldemort does, we have a far better chance at winning. With your ah...learned interest in the dark arts now, I'm sure, though it will be a big task, you might be able to help us on this?" Albus said turning to Remus searchingly. 

However Severus was the one put out by this. "Albus you really don't mean to send Remus out there to..." he began but Remus cut him off. Severus didn't even realize he called Remus by his first name in public as upset as he was by this, but everyone else had, including Remus. 

"Severus, please." Remus said softly, though he was secretly thrilled to hear Severus say his name. _*Gods he sounds so sexy when he says my name like that....*_ Pushing his thoughts back he turned to Albus and said, "I understand what you're asking me to do Albus...and I accept. Although werewolves somewhat stick to our own kind usually, I don't think I will have much problem convincing the other werebeasts and hopefully the vampires as well. I do fear that the dementors are out of the question though..." he said sadly. 

"Dementors are the least of my concern. There are far less of them then there are dark creatures. I will prepare for you reports by the next full moon of where the highest concentrations of activity is across the world. I only ask you to do what you can." Albus said. 

Remus nodded. "I will do my best. I promise you that." 

Albus smiled at Remus and nodded his head back. "I know you will, I have faith in you Remus. Now, since the hour is getting late, and I know you wish to return to your families and such, we will break this meeting. I do ask that before Remus leaves for his mission we meet again in one month's time. Shall we say 2 days after the next full moon?" 

Everyone nodded in agreement, and with last minute words said, they made their departure. All of them that but James. He did want to get back to hospital and Lily and Harry, but there was still too much left to say, and he didn't want to leave with a guilty conscious. Instead of waiting in Albus's office, he waited outside in the corridor by the gargoyle for Remus and Severus to come back out. 

Remus and Severus however had some last minute words of their own now that they were alone with Albus. "Thank you Albus. You have no idea what this means to me...to us.." Remus said softly glancing at Severus, who was being very quite all of a sudden. 

"I would not have done this if I didn't think it was time for you both to be here, I told you that. Now go on, Poppy will have my head if I don't shuffle you both off to sleep. She's a wondrful friend, a brilliant mediwitch, but a woman nevertheless, and when she gets angry even _I_ am powerless before her..." he said with a chuckle, and even Remus and Severus had to grin at that. 

"Goodnight Albus." they both said and headed down the stairs, only to find James waiting for them at the bottom. 

"Can I talk to you both for a minute? Please?" James said hesitantly. 

Severus wasn't too happy bout this, but he knew Remus needed to do this so he agreed. "Allright Potter, but make it quick. We've _both_ been ordered to bed by her majesty of the infirmary." he said coolly making the implications, noticing the momentary startled look that came acrost James's eyes. He wanted it very clear however that he was staking his claim as well, and there was nothing James Potter or Sirius Black could do about it now. 

"Severus stop that, don't be so mean..." Remus said but more teasingly then anything else. He knew what Severus was doing, and honestly right now he didn't mind in the least. He even went so far as to put his arm through Severus's to make the effect more real. "Now James...what did you want?" he said with a smile. 

James looked at both of them, a strange expression in his eyes. "Siri told me...that is....what I mean is...is it true Remy? You and him...are...well...you know..." he said looked at Remus only now. 

Remus pressed Severus's arm in warning, telling him to let him answer this. Looking James back in the eyes he said, "Frankly James far as I see it I don't care what Sirius told you. I meant what I said back there...if you want to accept me for who I am, then you have to accept me with whomever I choose. And yes, _I choose Severus_. If you don't want to be my friend because of that, then I'm sorry. You're free to go back to hospital, tell Lily that I send my best, but that I am unavoidably detained and will not be able to see Harry after all." 

James looked at his friend yet again in wonder, but he knew Remus was right and he made a split second decision. "Hell no, why _you_ don't you tell her that yourself then? Honestly right now I value _my_ life! She'd kill me if I _didn't _talk you into coming to see Harry!" he said with a grin. 

Remus breathed a sigh of relief and gave a small chuckle. "Knowing Lily, that's _not_ an empty threat either." he said with a grin. "Allright James, I'll come by tomorrow. After dinner sometime, when it's less crowded." 

"Smashing. I'm sure Lily will be glad to see you. She's worried you're not taking care of yourself lately...but...I guess that isn't a problem anymore is it..." he said hesitantly. 

Remus grinned. "No, it isn't. But..." 

"But what Remy?" James asked puzzled. 

"Would it be allright if Severus comes with me? He hasn't left the castle all summer and...well he could use the break...the potion hasn't been going all that well you see..." Remus said a bit nervously. 

James was a bit startled at the request, but agreed. "I'm sorry to hear that...really I am. I know you were looking forward to...well...anyway...that's allright I guess but...maybe you should come later in the evening then. I"ll make the arraignments with the hospital ward so you can come late, this way...well..." 

"Hey it's allright James I understand. It's better for us too, less questions...just promise me you'll say nothing to Sirius? I...I'd rather him not be there if possible." Remus said quietly. 

James sighed and nodded. "Yeah, promise I won't tell Siri. He's been busy nights anyway lately with....er...I mean...I gather he is anyway..." 

"You don't have to cover up for him James. I know over the last 3 years he wasn't exactly pining away for me if you know what I mean. That's Sirius Black for you though...the man's man..." Remus said trying not to be bitter, though the edge was in his unmistakably in his voice. 

"Yeah..well...shall we say maybe 10 PM then? Noone but me and Lily should be round at that time of night. Ward usually closes at 8 so it should be safe. If you can, apparate to the back door, I'll wait for you there. You remember where that is right?" James asked. 

Remus nodded slowly. "Yeah, believe me James, I know St. Mungo's better than anyone. I spent nearly a year there after I got bitten before they'd let me go back to my parents." he said with a sigh at those painful memories. 

"Remus we have to go before Pomfrey catches us...." Severus said glancing down the corridor worriedly. He needed to break this up between James and Remus before one or both of these two got morbidly sentimental. There were two things he did _not_ want to happen right this moment...to get caught by Pomfrey, and to have Remus upset for what he hoped would make a perfect end to this evening. 

Remus flashed Severus a small smile and a nod, then turned back to James. "Sorry James, he's right. Poppy will kill us if we don't get into bed soon. We'll see you tomorrow night allright? Give my best to Lily meanwhile." Remus said. 

"I will. Tomorrow then." James said, and watched as Remus and Severus went down the corridor, Remus's arm still through Severus's. _*So that's it then....first Peter...now Remus...it really is the end of the marauders...* _James thought sadly and turned to go back to Hogsmeade so he could apparate back to the hospital. Though how he was going to tell his wife that Severus Snape of all people was going to come see them tomorrow night was beyond him. For James Potter, this was going to be a very rough night after all. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-06 7:33:54 PM 


	12. A Meeting Of The Mind And Soul

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Sorry all on the delayed update...I have been struggling writing this chap alllll day. :sigh: It appears that despite the fact this type of thing comes soooo easy to everyone else, I cannot find ways to write this type of err...situation easily. I hope that you won't hate me for what I have written regarding the scenerios in this chap...it's a bit different then the one earlier...but after spending half a day reading other people's fics, I decided to do my poor attempts at this...gods I know I"m rambling here but...I am sooo nervous...I've never done this before in my net fics...and I'm worried what you'll all think of me :sigh:..ah well guess I won't know till I let you read it...so please...read away! :P 

**_~~~~CHAPTER TWELVE:A Meeting Of The Mind And Soul~~~~_**

Both Severus and Remus were quiet as they walked down the corridor to the dungeons, splitting apart once they were out of James's sight. Meeting with The Order had given them both alot to think on, and though both were confident they would be able to handle their tasks, that wasn't the main issue. So much was going through their minds on other topics that The Order business wasn't even remembered. 

Remus was worried bout how Lily was going to react to his choices, that being not just his desire to learn the dark arts, but Severus as well. He had made it quite clear to James that he chose Severus as his mate, yet he really wasn't 100% sure that's what Severus wanted, or if he wanted Remus at all. They had been playing the 'cat-n-mouse' game so far, yet if...when...the time might come for more, would Severus even be able to understand what Remus wanted of him? 

Remus had finally admitted consciously that he didn't just want Severus as a fly by night sex partner. No, it went far beyond that now, though he didn't have a clue as to why. There was something beneath the surface of Severus Snape that Remus had begun to see, and more importantly..like...no..._love_. Not the cold, aloof, hateful git Severus usually showed to the world, but a person. A man. A man with alot of mystery. And that excited Remus in a big way. 

It was the little things he'd seen over the last 2 months that had drawn him to Severus like a moth to the flame. How his eyes would light up when he was working on his potions, how gentle he could be when he was with his owl Eranos, how comforting and tender he was while telling it how much it meant to him. In his way he even did care for his students. Remus had caught him a few times going over work from his students of the past year, checking and making notes for the next year to come or where their strengths and weaknesses were. 

How Severus secretly loved the written works of the masters, muggle and wizard alike. How many times Remus had gone to bed leaving Severus by the fire to read Shakespeare, Doyle, Hemingway, Chekhov and the like. Remus often times had fallen asleep thinking Severus would have made a great muggle actor, he had the voice and mannerisms to do well in that. Though of course, potions was Severus's love, he knew that. Nothing was as important to him as his potions, and Remus could have almost been jealous of that if it wasn't that he knew how lonely Severus really was. 

Severus had held his past in tight check, despite Remus's questions. He had told however him that he was interested in men during one of their fireside chats a while ago, and that he had in the past experienced a bit of what life had to offer. But that was as far as Severus would go, throwing up shutters so thick Remus couldn't even dare try to open. And now apparently, Severus had had a good reason for some of those shutters, because of what he was. 

Remus knew he had surprized him back in Albus's office when he didn't appear to be shocked by his deatheater status, but truth was he had been a bit startled. A part of him had wanted to run and hide when he heard what Severus was, but a larger part of him was fascinated. Not because he was a servant of Voldemort, but because of the type of powers he must have to be as such. He knew Voldemort offered his servants special skills and magics, though he was way too afraid to really ask what. He had told himself that he would accept Severus for all his faults as well as his talents, and he wasn't going to go back on those words just because Severus was...had been..a deatheater. 

Which is exactly where Severus's mind was at himself. The fact that Remus still appeared to want him despite knowing what he had done in his life astounded him. It was more than obvious now something had happened between Remus and Sirius that even Remus himself was unforgiving of, but what could possibly have been worse then Severus being a deatheater? The fact that Remus was willing to throw away his friendship with Potter for _him_ just made the situation the most unbelievable. 

Severus was afraid though now, more than he had been all day. More then revealing himself infront of The Order. More than even when Remus had lost control of his powers. Remus's quietness was unnerving to him, almost like a death sentence. _*Is he thinking of leaving after all? Even though I've switched over to the good side? Would he really do that to me? No...he said he wanted me to go with him tomorrow...he wouldn't have said that if he was going to leave right? Unless...he was saying it just to rile up Potter...Merlin Remus talk to me, tell me what's going on here!* _Severus's thoughts cried out. 

They reached the dungeons and just as quietly went to Severus's private rooms. Remus excused himself to go the bathroom to get into his pyjama's, leaving Severus to change in the main room. All the plans he had, all the hopes even for the evening seemed dull now, a fading memory. Obviously what had taken place infront of Potter had been nothing more then for show, Severus could see that now. 

He finished getting into his pyjama's and stood by the bed for a moment looking at it wistfully. _*Don't even think bout it Severus, it was a nice dream....but that's all it was....a dream. Just give up and plan to spend the whole Yule with Stephan. He wants you in his bed atleast...*_ his inner voice chided. 

With a deep sigh he turned from the bed, not even bothering to answer his inner voice. He knew it would hurt too much if he did, and it was one more hurt today he didn't need. Glancing at Remus's case he wondred again if he had been so wrong in what Remus wanted. Earlier he was positive Remus wanted to claim him, yet now only a few hours remained till midnight, and any chances of that happening tonight were pretty much dwindled away. He sat down heavily in his chair, eyes staring unseen into the warm glow of the fire, and tried to block out all the strange emotions he had felt today. 

Remus returned from the bathroom though his thoughts were of a far different nature. His wolf senses told him that something wasn't right out here, that there was a heavy depressed feeling circling round in the air, and that it was coming from one place....one of the chairs by the fire, the very one Severus was sitting in. He could sense more than just depression, he could sense fear mingled in. Not the scary kind of fear, not the deathlike fear...this was fear of a different sort. This was the fear of being alone, tired, lost and hurt, and Remus couldn't help but to respond to those feelings. 

Walking to the side of the chair he noticed Severus had slumped down into it, eyes unfocused and unseeing at the fireplace. Remus could feel the emotions so strongly now that it pained him, and all he could think bout was easing the torment that this man was in. And being honest with himself, the same emotion was within him as well. His body was aching, and it wasn't from last nights transformations, or leftover soreness from the spell earlier. This ache was purely for the man before him, Severus Silvius Snape. 

Severus didn't even notice when Remus kneeled down next to the chair, or that Remus was watching him carefully. He was still lost in his faded dreams and hopes, oblivious to the world round him. Until he heard a soft voice, and oddly enough it was calling his name. 

"Severus...? Severus...?" 

Severus blinked in surprize and turned to the person who's voice it was, only to realize it was Remus. "R-Remus? I'm sorry...I...I didn't hear you. Is something wrong? I thought you were going to sleep...?" Severus said slowly. 

"Well...err..I was. Going to...bed...I mean. But...I...I..can't sleep." Remus said hesitantly. He knew he'd only have one shot at what he wanted, and he wasn't going to mess it up. 

Severus turned to look at him with an odd expression. "You..you can't sleep?" he asked surprized, wondring why Remus would be telling him this. 

"Y-yes, that's right. I can't sleep. It's...It's too bright in here...." he said. 

Severus looked round the room and back at Remus. "Well...I guess I could put a few more candle's out..." he said then stood up and went round snuffing out some more candles. Suddenly the room seemed far too dark, and way too confined causing him to shiver slightly. 

Remus saw him shiver and wondred why. "Are you cold?" 

"No, I'm fine. Look Remus, it's late, you need you're sleep. If you don't get into bed now Pomfrey is going to have me for dinner, and personally that is _not_ something I'd be looking forward to." Severus said in a flat voice and walked back to where Remus was still kneeling by the chair. 

With a sigh Remus got up and went over to the bed, turning round to watch Severus again, who was of course watching him. For a second Remus swore he saw a look that meant far more then Severus was saying come acrost his eyes, but it was gone just as quickly. "Good night Severus." was all he said, and turned back, getting into the bed now. 

"Good night Remus." Severus said and returned to his chair, all hope lost finally in his mind. 

A few moments passed however and he heard Remus moving round. "Severus?" Remus softly called out. 

"Yes Remus?" Severus said back in that same flat toned voice. 

"Sorry but...could you get me a drink of water? I'm feeling rather thirsty for some reason..." Remus said. 

"Water. Right." Severus said getting up automatically and pouring him out a glass of water. He always kept a pitcher of ice water in his room incase during the night he himself got thirsty. Taking the glass over the bed he handed it to Remus. "Here." 

Remus took it and drank it down in a few gulps, handing the glass back to Severus. "Thank you." he said, and settled himself back in the bed whilst Severus went and put the glass away, returning to his chair to get lost in his depressed thoughts. He was just beginning to stare into the flames again when he heard Remus call him for a second time. 

"Severus?" 

"Yes...Remus?" he said a bit wearily, wondring what on earth Remus could want now. 

"Could...could I get another duvet please? It's a bit chilly in here tonight..." Remus said softly. 

"Duvet? Oh....allright, I think I have another one in the wardrobe..." he said absentmindedly, though it complete escaped him that the extra duvet he did have was the that he would need to use to sleep with later. 

Going over he pulled out the green and silver duvet with the Hogwart's Slytherin Crest on it and brought it to the bed. He held it out to Remus who was still lying down oddly enough, so he said. "You're duvet. You _did_ want it right?" he asked. 

Remus nodded though he didn't sit up to take it. "Could...you cover me up...please? I'm feeling...a bit off...for some reason..." he said slowly. 

Severus covered him up then sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning in to get a better look at Remus. He did look a bit pale actually and he became concerned something might be wrong. "Remus you do look a bit pale...what's wrong?" he said worriedly. 

Remus closed his eyes, Severus being this close to him, leaning over him like this was almost too much to bear. He could smell his scent so strongly, and it was making him even a bit dizzy, causing him to shiver a little at the thoughts that were running rampant through his mind right just then. 

"Are you in pain?" Severus asked very concerned now when he saw Remus shut his eyes and shiver like that. 

Remus didn't open his eyes but slightly nodded his head. _*Only for you Severus...only for you....* _"Yes....a little..." Remus said outloud in a low voice. 

"Do you want me to get some Curacion Potion? It would only take a minute..." Severus said preparing to leave for the potion, but was stopped by a hand on his arm. 

"No...no potions Severus...it's not that kind of pain...." Remus said barely above a whisper, opening his eyes to look up at Severus. 

Severus looked back down at Remus and his breath caught in his throat, his chest tightened. The few candles that were left burning were flickering off of Remus's hair making it appear like a halo encircled him, and were lighting up his eyes like dazzling golden diamonds. At that moment Remus couldn't have looked more like an angel, and he barely even realized it when he heard himself say in a whisper, "What...type...of...pain...?" 

Remus saw how Severus was looking at him and it only added to what he was allready feeling. He wondred how much more he could take before he would just all out pull Severus into the bed with him. But that wasn't how he wanted this, and gods know he did want this more then anything he ever had. "It's....my heart..." Remus said slowly. 

Severus looked at Remus concerned. "Your heart? Is it because of the transformations...or..or the potion? Did I make it too strong?" he asked worriedly. 

Remus shook his head and sighed. "No...it's not being the wolf...it's not the potion...it's...you...Severus...my heart hurts...because of..._you_..." he whispered. 

Severus was dumbstruck, he couldn't believe he was hearing this correctly. Remus really did want him? He had to be sure though...he couldn't take it if he was misunderstanding this. "Remus...what are you saying....what do you mean...?" 

Remus reached his hand up and gently brushed Severus's forehead with his fingertips, pushing aside a lock of his hair. "I mean...that there is only _one_ cure for what ails me Severus...and it's _you_...." he said in a soft whisper and gazed deep into Severus's eyes. 

Remus's admission finally broke whatever reserves Severus had towards him. He closed his eyes and let all the tensions, fears and pains he had suffered slip away, and only contentment, pleasure, happiness and love remained. A small groan escaped his lips and he knew that if he were to die right then and there, he would die the happiest man on earth. 

Enough of Remus wolven instincts still remained that he could feel this shift of emotions within Severus, and he too let go of all his fears and worries. The only thing he wanted was Severus...in body, mind and soul. Severus made Remus feel more alive and cared for then Sirius had ever made him feel, and he hoped beyond hope that Severus felt the same from him in return. 

Seconds later his wishes were answered when Severus reopened his eyes and gazed down at him. The look in his eyes were a swirling mixture of truth, hope, passion and the most important to Remus of all....love. This was what he wanted, this was what he needed and he knew he had finally understood what being free meant. It was love. 

"Severus...." Remus barely managed to whisper but Severus cut off his words. 

"You're mine Remus...as you were supposed to be...I've waited so long....so very long..." Severus whispered back taking Remus's cheek in the palm of his hand. 

Remus shivered at his touch, soft and gentle yet at the same time flowing with electricity. Severus could no longer hold himself back, and he leaned down and lightly brushed Remus's lips with his own for a moment shivering himself at the warmth he felt from them. 

He looked back up into Remus's eyes and he could see desire, passion and a hunger that equalled his own. Unlike with the men of his past, even with Stephan, this was going to be different. This was going to be special, the meeting of body, mind and soul. The joining of two people in love. 

He knew no matter what he had to make Remus his and his alone. Leaning back in he kissed Remus longingly, tenderly, pouring his all needs, hopes and his love into that one kiss. He felt drunk with delight when Remus responded back just as passionately, and it fueled his desires even more. 

He broke the kiss of for a moment to kick off his slippers, then quickly slipped underneath the duvets next to Remus. Rather then resuming the kiss on Remus's lips however, he trailed his lips down Remus's neck, nibbling at the places he just somehow knew would be the most sensitive on him, over the moon at the way Remus responded with his slight shivers and low moans. 

All the expertise he had learned over the years due to lusted passions he forgot, only concentrating on what it meant to be with someone he loved. He felt nervous, as if this was the first time he had ever made love to anyone, and in truth it was. Paris was alot of things, but for all the words of 'love' spoken in the city of pleasures, he realized not one of them could touch what he was feeling now. 

His hand began to explore on it's own, moving it's way down Remus's silkily clad arms to his hand, intertwining his fingers with Remus's for a moment. He stopped his kisses on Remus's neck to bring those fingers to his lips. Gently he began to attend to each finger with his tongue, nibbling at them with his teeth, eliciting even more soft moans from Remus. 

He leaned over and kissed Remus again, nipping gently at his lower lip with his teeth, using his tongue to part his lips gently. Remus responded eagerly and Severus was soon lost in the sweet warmth of his mouth. His hand again finding motivation of it's own moved towards the top button of Remus's pyjama top, and he broke the kiss to look into Remus's eyes questioningly. 

A nod from Remus was all he needed, and he turned his attention to the restrictive buttons. As he opened up each button he placed a tiny little kisses on the newly exposed skin until finally he reached the last button, and lifting Remus up for a moment to remove the shirt, threw it to the floor. Suddenly he could feel Remus become nervous, and looking up into his eyes saw almost a fear there now. 

It took him a moment to realize why, then he remembered he had felt that fear growing during his kisses, especially when he had been near Remus's shoulder. Severus moved himself back up to look at the place that was the cause of the tormented life in which his lover was forced into and he knew it was the basis for what Remus was feeling now. 

His shoulder was a crisscross of tiny slashes and bitemarks, but it was a thick scar running from the top of his shoulder to halfway down his arm that Severus knew was the cause of the fear. This is where he had been bitten all those years ago, and despite the healing properties of a werewolf, the marks and scars had never healed. They were to be a permanent reminder to Remus Lupin of what he was and Severus felt a pang of anger at the creature that had marred his lover so badly, the thing that had deemed to take away his dignity. 

He tried to keep in check that anger, he knew to show it now would make Remus even more afraid, until something else caught his eye. A glint of gold against the pale smoothness of Remus's neck, another reminder of what the rest of the world thought of this man. With a low growl he grabbed the piece of gold and tore it from Remus's neck, holding it in his hand for a moment, looking at it with darkening eyes. 

"S-Severus? Did...did I do...something...wrong?" Remus said breathlessly, slightly stunned. He didn't know what was going on, why Severus suddenly had this anger. 

Severus shook his head, trying to suppress the anger he felt. "No, it's not _you_ Remus...gods no..._you're _perfect...it's _this_..." he said holding up the golden chain. 

Remus subconsciously put his hand to his scar, and looked at Severus questioning. "My...tag?" he asked. 

Severus nodded. "I will _not_..let this piece of _filth_..come between _us_. I don't want you afraid anymore...ashamed of who _you_ are...this _thing_...has kept you from being happy Remus...it makes you afraid of _my_ touch...inhibits you enough to keep you closed to even _me_...and I _won't_ have it..." he said with a growl, and threw the tag acrost the room. 

Remus couldn't believe that this was real, that Severus had just removed the last thing that _had_ been keeping him from totally giving everything of himself to Severus. Not that he _didn't_ want to, gods knew he _did_, but when Severus had opened his shirt and seen the scars he knew he had closed a piece of himself off, a self protection he had never revealed even to Sirius. But now those protections were gone, and he was free to give Severus every part of himself, without the fear of pain and rejection. 

Severus could see the last remaining fears leave Remus's eyes, and his needs returned doublefold. Lowering himself back down to the marred shoulder he moved Remus's hand out of the way and gently kissed every single marred area he could, then used his tongue to tenderly trace the long scar from tip to tip. He heard a soft moan come from Remus, and felt him move beneath him not in pain, but in pure ecstasy, so he repeated his actions, lingering on each patch of skin that his tongue touched. 

His hand slid acrost Remus's chest, twining his fingers in the soft brown hair that covered it. Moving his kisses off Remus shoulder, Severus nuzzled that hair delicately for a moment, then continued his kisses and explorations of Remus's chest. He kissed, teased, nibbled and licked every inch that he could, only becoming satisfied when Remus soft moans gave way to louder ones. 

Both his hands and lips moved downward again, massaging and caressing the milky skin of Remus's stomach and waist, yet again kissing, licking and nibbling at every where his mouth could reach. His fingertips brushed like a feather at Remus's sides, causing him to squirm beneath him, and his breathless moans of pleasure urged him further on. 

Sliding his hands down Remus's sides he stopped at the waistband of his pyjama bottoms, and almost teasingly began to slide them down a little at a time. He kneeled back to finish taking them off, and tossed it on the floor, focusing his eyes on the sight now before him. 

It wasn't as if he hadn't seen Remus naked before, but this time it was far different. The golden glow of the few remaining candles played on his skin temptingly, almost as if it knew exactly where to focus it's light, causing Severus's breath to catch in his chest. His eyes greedily took in everything it could before stopping on the one place that was now the focus of Severus's attentions. 

Tenderly his brushed his lips against Remus's heated arousal, eliciting a gasp of pure pleasure from Remus. Severus then heard someone moan, and realized it was himself, and he no longer could hold back on what his desires were. With a passion that surprized even himself he took Remus into his mouth, savouring the smells and taste that was only Remus Lupin. 

Despite his years of skilled practise in pleasuring other men, none of that seemed to come close to what he was doing nor feeling right now. In Paris he had done this for lust, for release of tension....but not now. Not with Remus. The men he had been with in the past, even Stephan, he had been more then eager to please, but that's all it was...simple, basic pleasure of the lusted kind. Severus had learned to give what he could quickly, so he could just as quickly find his own releases, but this wasn't the case now. 

The way Remus was responding to Severus touch, his lips, his tongue wrapped delicately round him was almost enough to drive Severus over the edge, but he kept himself in control. He wanted nothing more then to show that it was Remus's needs that would be met first, that it was Remus's turn to feel secure, safe and above all...loved. Although he wasn't 100% sure, he suspected that Sirius Black wasn't always the most compassionate of lovers, probably putting his own needs before Remus's, and he needed to let Remus know that _he_ wasn't going to be that way. 

He took his time in what he was doing, until he became aware that Remus's breathing was speeding up, that his fists were now clutching the bed sheets, and that his moans were getting more frequent and louder. He speed his actions up, knowing that Remus wasn't going to be able to hold himself back much longer, and Merlin knew all he wanted now was to taste the ambrosia that Remus could offer him. 

Not more then a few moments later he was rewarded, as Severus's name tore from Remus's lips and he shuddered with his release. Severus drank in everything of the salty sweetness that was being given to him. He licked away the last remaining drops from his lover and sighed with deep satisfaction for a moment, then moved himself back up to kiss Remus's waiting lips. 

Remus opened his eyes in a daze, glowing with the effects of what had just happened. He focused his eyes on Severus's and a smile came acrost his face slowly, warming Severus's heart at the amount of love that was radiating from those golden brown eyes. 

"You...are...incredible..." Remus said softly after a moment. 

"Mmm...so are you...but..." Severus said softly and pushed aside a strand of hair from Remus's eyes. 

"But...?" Remus said quietly. 

A small smile came acrost Severus's face and he pressed his own arousal against Remus's hip. "But that...was only the beginning...." 

A look of startled understanding came acrost Remus's face, shortly replaced by a shy blush. "Oh..." was all he managed to say causing Severus to chuckle. 

Remus attempted to get up then but Severus gently pushed him back down onto the pillows. "No Remus..." he said quietly. 

Remus was puzzled. "N-no? I...I dont...understand..." 

"This...tonight...is all for you...and _you_ alone. _I_ am going to satisfy _you_ in _every_ way possible...." Severus said passionately. 

"But...Severus..." Remus began but was cut off by a kiss from Severus. 

"No...for _once_ Remus Lupin...someone is going to take care of _you_..._your_ needs...because I have a good feeling that is something that you have never been allowed to have before..." Severus said and for a moment his mind flicked to Sirius Black, and the look in Remus's eyes confirmed what he thought. 

"Severus...please...let me...do something..._anything_...to make _you_...happy..." Remus pleaded. He wasn't used to this, and it frightened him a little bit even. 

Severus firmly shook his head. "_No_ Remus, another time...and there _will_ be other times...but _not_ now. Tonight is for _you_. I told you before Remus...it's no good to argue with me on this...I always get my way.." he said with a grin. "And besides...who said I _wasn't _happy hmm? Personally, I don't think I _could_ be happier..." he said rubbing himself against Remus's hip again, "....as you can tell..." 

Remus smiled shyly and gave a small yet deeply satisfying sigh. "You win Severus...by Merlin you win...." he half whispered, closing his eyes in wonder at the renewed feelings that Severus's rubbing was doing to him. 

"That's right Remus...I _always_ win...." Severus whispered back and leaned in to kiss Remus gently on the lips. 

That simple kiss renewed his desires, and he reworked himself down Remus's body again, kissing, licking and nibbling any and everything in his path. When he could take it no longer, when his needs outweighed his desires, he paused letting his eyes take in everything they could that was Remus. 

He paused and got out of bed for a moment, watching Remus's eyes follow him as he slowly unbuttoned his own pyjama's and removed both top and bottom. Tossing them ontop of where Remus's were he only paused long enough to get something from his wardrobe, placed it on the dresser and returned to the bed quickly. He had wanted this for 8 years, and nothing was going to stop him from making Remus his now. 

He resumed his kisses and reexplorations of Remus's body, until he knew Remus was relaxed enough for what Severus desperately needed at this point. He could think of nothing else in the world other then to be inside of Remus. To hear him gasp and moan in pleasure, knowing that it was himself that would be the cause of the dizzying ecstasy that he wanted to put Remus into. 

When he could take no more of the aching that his body was in, of hearing the soft moans issuing from Remus's lips, he reached for the small item he had placed on the side dresser. He poured a little of the substance into his hand and coated himself with what hoped would be enough oil that he wouldn't hurt Remus. He knew Remus's had held a surprized look when he had seen Severus remove his pyjama bottoms, and he suspected now that he was probably much more well endowed then Black was. 

However much that thought excited him, he certainly didn't want it to be an encumbrance where Remus was concerned. To make sure though he coated his fingers liberally as well before putting the small vial back on the dresser. 

He parted Remus's legs with ease but he could feel Remus still tensing up, so he stopped for a moment and looked back up into Remus's worried eyes reassuringly. "Relax...I promise you I will be gentle...I won't hurt you Remus....I'll never hurt you..." he whispered. 

Very gently he slipped one of his fingers halfway into Remus, feeling him clench tightly so he waited a moment before going further. He wrapped his free arm round Remus's waist, lifting him up just a bit so that it would be more comfortable for him. He tried to get him to relax by rubbing the small of his back, and was glad to see it was working, and that Remus was less tense now. 

Severus slipped the rest of his finger into Remus now, gently making little circles to help ease the tensions still flowing. He knew Remus wasn't by any means a virgin, so he was a bit puzzled why he was reacting like this, but a part of him had the same suspicions that Remus had obviously never been treated this way...with gentleness and kindness. Black reminded him suddenly of himself in a way, more eager to get pleased rather then give the pleasure. Or atleast what Severus had been like up until now. 

When he realized Remus had finally eased up, he slipped in a second finger gently, and again felt Remus close round him tightly. This time however it didn't take near as long to get him to relax, and soon he managed to slip in a third finger. He heard Remus gasp at the moment he did that, almost as if in pain and he became concerned. "Remus? Am...am I hurting you?" he whispered. 

Remus shook his head and said in a low, breathless voice, "N-no....gods....no..." 

Severus felt over the moon at those words, and resumed his gentle probing and tender administrations to prepare Remus for him. When he felt Remus had finally released his the last of his tensions he removed his fingers and moved himself up, positioning himself where he needed to be. With a gentleness that would hopefully let Remus know how much he loved him, he leaned over and kissed Remus's lips, while slipping himself barely into Remus's body. 

He heard Remus gasp, but not in pain and he felt confident enough to push himself further into him. "Are...you...allright..." he whispered breathlessly. 

Remus nodded slightly, so he let go of the rest of his fears that he was hurting him and pushed himself all the way into Remus's body. He stopped there for a moment, closing his eyes at the waves of pleasure that were cascading through him. Loving every second of how Remus's body just seem to mould onto him, and how warm and tight Remus felt round him. 

Pulling out just enough he angled himself so that he would be able to find the one place that he knew would make Remus completely uninhibited, and allow himself to enjoy what Severus was doing. He pushed back in and slid himself over that area, and a moan from Remus along with a shiver greeted him, however it threw his own mind into complete chaos. 

He wanted to make Remus feel everything, feel him, his love, his body, his soul. He poured everything he could of those emotions into what he was doing. He was gentle as he promised, his only thoughts were of Remus's needs, Remus's desires, of making Remus happy. 

Severus's body trembled at each soft moan and gasp Remus breathed. It made him dizzy, heated, he couldn't believe this was real, that he was finally inside of the only person in his life he would ever love. He felt Remus's legs wrap round him, pushing him deeper inside, and though he had told Remus he was the one in charge, he felt himself abandoning everything. Giving up everything to Remus, he let go of himself, unable to think, unable to do anything but Remus's bidding. 

Remus was the one in control now, Severus was too far gone to notice it now. Remus's body was telling Severus what to do, setting the pace, putting Severus's hands in the places where he wanted to be touched. It was as if Remus became awakened, and Severus was now powerless against this man. 

Only one thought came to him suddenly, and a tiny warning bell went off. _*Midnight....oh gods it's almost midnight!*_ his mind screamed at him, and he knew it was now or he'd have wait yet again for what he wanted so badly. 

"Remus..." he barely was able to gasp, "Claim me...make...me...yours...mark me..." 

Remus moaned deeply. If Severus had wanted to make him happy then there was no better way he could have done so than by those words. It didn't matter to Remus how Severus had known about the marking, the fact that he had asked him to do it was enough. And at this point, Remus couldn't have stopped it if he had wanted to, which by any means he didn't. 

Using the strength left in him by the moon he willed his teeth to sharpen and lifting his wrist to his lips bit down hard, drawing the blood he needed. Coating his lips and tongue with his own blood, he leaned up and fastened his mouth on Severus's neck, his teeth still sharp enough that it was all too easy to draw Severus's blood. A small wolfish growl escaped him, the smell of fresh blood was too strong to ignore, and the fact that it was Severus's blood made it even sweeter. 

Remus's tongue invitingly swirled round the drawn blood, mingling his own within it, and the coppery sweet tastes of the mixed blood sent him over the edge. Knowing that Severus was now his to command, that he was his forever drove him into a frenzy. There was still enough of the moon left that his wolven side took over, forcing Severus into him with a desire he couldn't control. 

Severus didn't care what was happening, the mix of bloods was beginning to work it's way through his body, igniting him, and he felt things he never had felt before. Everything became sharper, clearer, scents that moments ago he hadn't smelled assaulted him, and his senses started to reel with an insatiable hunger. 

He heard himself surprizingly give a low growl, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted Remus's wrist to his lips, licking away what blood was left of the quickly healing bite, just as Remus was still doing to his neck. When the last drop of blood was cleaned, and Remus was no longer licking at his neck he knew he wasn't going to last a moment longer, that he had to release himself and now. 

A low howl that he realized was his own echoed round the room as he released himself into Remus's waiting body, his heart pounding and his sweaty body trembling as he shuddered with his final release. He collapsed onto Remus's sweaty chest, Remus's strong legs still round him keeping him close, unwilling to part away yet. 

Severus reached over and took Remus's hand in his, twining their fingers together, and he felt Remus's heartbeat as it began to slow down and return to normal. It was such a quick transition considering that they had only ended their lovemaking a few moments before. Severus didn't even realize his own heartbeat had been doing the same thing, only a bit slower then Remus's had, but yet now his heartbeat was almost normal. 

He looked up at Remus a bit surprized, and was greeted by a smile and a twinkle in Remus's eyes. "H-how?" was all he managed to say. 

Remus chuckled. "All the benefits without the drawbacks Severus....my blood is now yours...as is what I am...you're now a part of me Severus...a part of the werewolf...except you wont have to go through the transformations..." he said actually happy about this. 

Severus decided to tell Remus the truth then, he wanted no more secrets. "I knew...rather I know that..what I've become...earlier when...you were asleep after...after what happened with Albus...I saw you're book..." he said and turned his gaze away so that he wouldn't see if Remus would get angry with him for that. 

"Mmm...I see....and...what did you think of it Sev?" Remus only said in return, though his voice held a bit of amusement more then anger. 

Severus turned his gaze back to his lover...no...his lifemate. Raising an eyebrow he said, "Sev?" 

Remus chuckled. "Sev." he said with a grin. "It will make it alot easier to call your name out during our lovemaking then all those syllables that comprise your name.." 

Severus chuckle and he shook his head. "As long as you don't _ever_ call me Sevy or _anything_ like that. I think I'd have to kill you..." he grinned, covering them up with the duvets, then turning to lifemate protectively, scooping him into his arms and body. 

Remus laughed. "And kill yourself while you're at it eh? Or didn't you read _that_ part?" he said, snuggling deep into his lifemates embrace. 

Severus closed his eyes, sleep beginning to creep up on him, he still however had enough strength to answer. _"Oh I read it allright...all of it...and...I love you Remus Lupin...for now and always...my Remus...my lifemate..." _

Remus was surprized to hear Severus's voice inside his head, it sounded deeper, richer, and a hell of a lot sexier then when he spoke out loud. Drawing on the powers of both dark and wolf, knowing this was one thing he could control despite the fact he too was feeling the tiring effects of what had transpired, he responded. _"I love you too Severus Snape...my Severus...my lifemate...now..and always..."_

As the hour of midnight came and passed ushering in the start of a new day, the two sleeping people entwined in each others arms didn't notice that a shadow fell across them briefly, and was just as quickly gone. A sense of peace and calmness was left in the shadows wake, for it had seen the blood that still remained on the sheets, and he knew exactly what it had entailed. 

Back in his office Albus Dumbledore was smiling as he put his hand down gently on Fawkes's head giving him a loving pat. The Phoenix had just finished his rebirth day, and was in fine plumage, and he chirped questioningly at his master for he could tell Albus was being pensive. 

"No my dear Fawkes, it's is nothing. I was right though...I was right. They will make fine members of The Order, I have no doubts now....yes...everything is now the way it should be." he said softly, and went to his own private chambers to get some well needed sleep. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-08 10:50:29 PM 


	13. Classroom Confrontations

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

I'm terribly sorry on the delay on this chapter...been a rough couple of days for me (down with a bit of a cold it seems) and I was just so exhausted this week I could barely think let alone type. :sigh: I plan on updating again tomorrow if all goes well, if not by afternoon than hopefully by tomorrow night. :) 

_**~~~~CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Classroom Confrontations~~~~**_

Severus awoke the next morning in a bit of a daze. His head and body ached a little bit, and he had these strange feelings coursing through him that were of little help in his disorientation. He felt out of place, like he was somewhere he didnt belong, and there was a warm pressure on his arm that felt vaguely familiar, though he couldn't place why. 

For a moment he lie there trying to clear his thoughts until suddenly recognition dawned on him. He was in bed, his _own_ bed...and the pressure on his arm was a person. No, not _just_ a person...it was _Remus_. _His_ Remus..._his_ lifemate..._his_ soulmate. A soft protective smile came acrost his face and he unconsciously tightened his arms round this wondrful man beside him. 

He remembered everything then of what happened the previous night. Remus's scheming way of getting him into the bed, Remus's needs being fulfilled, and Severus's own needs of...well....just everything. He remembered telling Remus that he always won, and was grateful that in this case he was more than right. The only thing that slightly did bother him was exactly what he was now, and what to do about it. 

He didn't fear becoming a werewolf, he knew he wouldn't, but he was curious as to what was going to happen to him now that he was joined with one. Though he had extensively done his research on the potion, it was with irony that he realized he had never really bothered to find out what made up the aspects of a werewolf. Pretty much all he did know of what was one like was from watching Remus the two times at the shack, their late night explorations when he was in his animagus form, and the distant memories of doing an essay on werewolves years and years ago. 

He had so many questions, and almost no answers and that irked a man like Severus Snape. Usually he never went headlong into doing something he knew nothing about, but last night he knew he had wanted to join with Remus so badly he hadn't cared what the price was. He still didn't, he would have binded with Remus anyway he knew that, but he really did want some of those answers. 

A slight movement on his arm alerted him Remus was waking up as well, and loosening his arms a little from round Remus he felt him turn towards him and he opened his eyes. He was rewarded by the softest smile he could ever dream of from Remus's lips, and the most loving expression he'd ever seen in his life radiating from Remus's eyes. 

Unable to help himself he leaned in and tenderly kissed those lips, then looked back to gaze deeply into those lovely still sleepfilled golden brown eyes. With a sigh of contentment he half whispered, "Morning my love..." 

Remus blinked a moment and leaned up to kiss him back just as tenderly. "Mmm...morning to you too my love..." he said sighing happily. 

"Did you sleep well?" Severus asked drawing Remus back into his embrace lovingly. He could smell the scent of sex, blood and their own mixed smells of berries, vanilla, musk and patchuli oil in the air, and for a moment he was startled at how strong it was. 

Remus felt the shift of emotions from his lifemate and turned his eyes back to him worriedly. "What's wrong?" he asked. 

Severus blinked away his surprize and shook his head. "N-nothing...it's...it's just that I smell...us..." 

Remus wasn't surprized at this however, actually he gave a little chuckle and nodded. "Wolf scent Severus. Even without the moon you'll have that. Along with sharper instincts, and much better hearing. The rest of it pretty much falls only on the moon itself." 

Severus nodded a bit sheepishly. "Admittedly Remus...I have to say that...er...I really haven't a clue what's happened to me. Not that I'm complaining mind you..." he said giving Remus a kiss on his forehead in reassurance. "But there's alot I wish I knew." he said with a sigh. 

Remus nodded understandingly. "I know Sev. It'll take time to understand it all. Heck I've been a werewolf for 18 years and _I _still don't it all understand myself...remember?" he said nuzzling Severus's neck with his lips. 

Severus felt himself responding to Remus's lips immediately to his surprize. Closing his eyes he let himself be taken in by the sensations Remus was causing him. "Mmmm...Remus...." was all the words he could manage at the moment. 

Remus chuckled slightly against his neck, then moved up to whisper something to him. "Another thing bout we werewolves Sev..." he said breathing seductively into his ear, pleased at the elicited shiver from his lifemate. "Our _restorative_ properties are phenomenal.....and that....my love...is in _every_ way...." he whispered and bit down gently on Severus's ear causing him to gasp. 

Grateful to whatever powers that be that noone was calling for either of them at the moment, Severus found out all too well what Remus meant by that comment. This time their lovemaking was intense, filled with more ardor, passion, and love than it had even been last night. With nothing to hold them back any longer they took their time finding out everything bout what the other needed, their heated moans and the calling out of their lovers name echoing round the room the only sounds needing to be uttered. 

Hours later, after they finally spent themselves completely, the both of them felt more then well sated. Their sweaty bodies were wrapped in a tangle of sheets and limbs, the duvets long abandoned to the floor. Remus was once again spooned into the soft yielding body of his mate, both pairs of eyes glowing in blissful contentment. 

"Mmm...you...are...incredible...." Severus said after a few moments, still feeling dazed but able to find his voice again. 

Remus smiled dreamily. "I think...that's what _I_ said last night...about _you_.." he said with a slight grin. 

Severus chuckled, remembering all too well that was what he had said to him last night. "So you did....so now I return the sentiment..." he said with a grin. "We should get up though, it's almost lunchtime...and I've managed to work up quite an appetite..." he said playfully and made a move towards getting out of the bed. 

Remus groaned at the suddenly removal of the warm body next to him, but agreed with a nod of his head. "Yeah, you're right. Besides, I've got plans for today..." he said sitting up with a yawn and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. 

Severus stood up next to him and stretched for a moment, Remus's words sinking in. Turning to him he had a questioning look in his eyes. "Plans? You didn't say you had plans for the day..." he said almost poutingly. 

Remus stood up, a small growl escaping his lips at the stiffness of his body, and stretched himself relieving his own muscles. After a small yawn he looked back at the waiting Severus and gave him a small wolfish-like grin. "Oh don't you give me that look mister...I didn't tell you because I only just _now_ made them. Allright?" he said teasingly. 

Severus relaxed and shook his head. "_You_.." he said gazing up into the air, "are incorrigible. You know that." he said matter of factly, though he was grinning slightly. 

Remus laughed and nodded his head. "And _you_...wouldn't want me any other way Severus, and you know it. Go get cleaned up, we very well can't walk into the Great Hall looking like _this_ now can we!" he said teasingly and gathered up the tossed clothing from the night before dropping them in the laundry bin. 

Severus stared for a moment at the naked man before him, amazed at how he was still reacting towards this incredibly attractive image even after all those hours of lovemaking. He saw Remus turn to him questioningly, and he felt a small blush creep up his face at the amusement now showing on Remus's face. "What?" he half mumbled. 

Remus shook his head and grinned. "Guess now maybe you'll believe me about our 'restorative' properties Sev..." and he laughed as a huge blush cascaded over Severus's face now, his obvious arousal evident. Remus went over and gently cupped it with his hand causing Severus to breath in sharply. "Cold showers Sev, get used to them. Either that or start getting used to imagining Minerva McGonagall naked...same effect. Otherwise you'll _never_ make it through the day..." he said with a grin and let Severus go. 

Severus groaned at the parting of Remus's fingers from him, but now that Remus had so graciously conjured up that _lovely_ image for him, he felt himself slightly subside. "Merlin Remus, is this going to happen on a regular basis? I mean...I can't very well teach a class with...er...well..._that_ on my mind constantly, and especially not if I have to imagine McGonagall like _that_!" Severus said scowling. 

Remus laughed. "Don't worry Sev, you'll find other ways I'm sure. Though I have to admit it took me ages to stop seeing Minerva that way..." he said teasingly. Giving him a playful swat on the bum he said, "Now go, get into the shower cause I want to take one too when you're done." 

Severus was still scowling but he did comply. "Allright, allright I'm going. But...get me any _other_ image but McGonagall and I'll be you're slave for life Remus...I mean that..." he said firmly causing Remus to chuckle, and with that parting remark headed off to the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

When Remus finally came out of the bathroom himself a bit later dressed and ready, Severus was sitting at the chair near the fire in slight contemplation. "Knut for your thoughts luv?" he said kneeling down next to Severus just like he had last night. 

Severus turned to him, questions in his eyes. "Remus...are...are you sure you want me to go with you tonight? I mean...it should be your time with the Potter's...not mine." he said quietly. 

Remus looked at him understandingly. Taking Severus's hand in his, he gently put his other hand on Severus's neck, tracing his fingertips over the very obvious bitemark that now resided there. "You listen to me Severus Snape...you're my lifemate now...nothing can change that. If Lily and James can't accept this of me, then so be it. I have spent over half my life running in fear as well as hiding things from my friends...and I won't any longer understand?" he said firmly. 

Severus nodded and sighed. "I know...but...they are _your_ friends Remus. I've never had a friend, so I can't say what it's like...but I do think you really would regret it if you didn't stay friends with them...even Black for what it's worth..." he said hesitantly. 

A look of pain came acrost Remus's face at the mention of Sirius's name, but deep down he knew Severus was right. With a sigh he said softly, "It _would_ be hard to lose them Severus, that's true. But...it would be far far harder...if I lost _you_..in the process. If it ever came down to the choice between them...or us...I choose _us_..." Remus said softly. 

Severus leaned down at tightly wrapped his arms round his lifemate for a moment letting him know just how much he loved him. "Come on, let's go to lunch before Albus decides to come look for us." 

Remus smiled, grateful for the interruption and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Last thing I need him to think is that I'm about to attack you again or something." he said getting up and he went over to open the door. 

Severus got up from the chair and said impishly, "Well if this mornings 'attack' was anything to consider, then I'm more then happy to have been the recipient of it!" he said teasingly. 

Remus laughed and swatted at him playfully. "Oh let's go allready, and I've still got to talk to Albus bout my plans for us for later." he said stepping aside to let Severus walk out first into the classroom. 

"Oh really? And what may I ask are...." he began jovially, but stopped in mid-sentence by something he saw in the classroom, and he quickly stepped back in surprize, preventing Remus from entering the room. "What are _you_ doing here?" he said angrily, not even realizing that a low growl was coming from his throat, and rather threatening growl at that. 

"Severus? What's wrong? Who's there?" Remus said concerned now when he heard the sound that Severus was making. Though he couldn't see into the classroom having been pushed back into the room, he could feel the waves of anger pouring off Severus and it alarmed him. 

"I might ask the same of _you_ Snape, considering it's the middle of the day and the two of you are obviously just now _leaving_ your room. Forgive me if I've _interrupted_ anything..." a voice said coldly, the implications thick in the air. 

"As a matter of fact you have. I don't know why you're here, but I don't appreciate people in _my_ classroom when I am _not_ in it, especially when they're sitting at _my_ desk. What do you want?" Severus said back icily, keeping his black eyes trained on the darkhaired man. 

"I received quite the informative owl post this morning as it were. Would you like to know what it said.._Snape_..." the man said menacingly. 

Black eyes met black eyes at the two men locked heated gazes. "I am not interested in your owls, nor in what it said. Kindly remove yourself from both my desk and my classroom or I will throw you out." he said with a low growl. 

The man wasn't bout to be dissuaded however. "That's a pity, since I'm going to tell you anyway Snape. You _may_ have fooled Albus, The Order...and even James...but you don't fool _me_. Scum like you don't _deserve_ the chance you've been given. You should be in Azkaban with the rest of the vermin, _not_ out in the real world corrupting innocent people. Or should I say _torturing_ them..." the man spat out angrily. 

Remus heard those words and his anger grew tenfold. Pushing past Severus, he turned to face the man sitting at the desk, his eyes dark and threatening. "_Enough_! You don't have a _clue_ what you're talking about. You're accusations disgust me..._you_ disgust me. When you accuse Severus, you accuse _me_. Obviously James didn't bother to tell you what _my_ purpose in all this is....because _I'm_ more guilty of corruption then Severus _ever_ was." he said icily. 

Sirius Black was startled at the utter look of hatred that Remus was directing towards him. He knew Remus was here, he had heard the two of them after the door opened, but somehow it just didn't really register in his angerfilled mind. His only idea had been to confront Snape, not Remus. "Remus, what the bloody hell are talking bout? You've _never_ hurt or corrupted anyone...unlike that _deatheater_ over there..." he spat out, turning a sharp hatefilled gaze towards Severus again. 

Remus drew in his breath trying to maintain some form of control over himself. His anger at Sirius was giving way to something much darker within him, and he was fighting a losing battle in order not to be taken in again. In a low trembling voice he said slowly, "Get out Sirius...." 

Sirius turned to stare at Remus, his anger still clouding his better judgment. "Get out? Get..._out_? I don't _think_ so Remus, not unless you're coming with _me_. If I had known what Snape was earlier I _never_ would have let you come back here. I _thought_ I was doing the right thing sending you back to that git...but obviously I was _wrong_." 

_*...I never would have let you come back....I was doing the right thing sending you back...*_ Remus closed his eyes letting those words float round his mind and the memories of that last afternoon with Sirius came back to him. Sirius's mocking attitude, the way he had admitted how he had used Remus, how he had been nothing more then his 'pet'. Even now Sirius was trying to make a fool of him by these new words, trying to show Remus that _he_ was the one in charge still. 

Remus could no longer stop the powers that were sweeping through him. His anger gave way to a calmness just like before a storm. His body started to react in a way it hadn't even before, and he suspected it was because of the blood exchange with Severus. He was drawing on the magic of Severus's blood and mind as well as his own, doubling the effects of what he had allready learned. This time was different though, this time he knew what he was doing. 

Severus felt his lifemate's sudden shift of emotions, feeling the pull of the darker powers that were now flowing through Remus. He was a little afraid, not really for himself but that Remus was going to lose it again as he had last time, and he doubted he would be able to keep control on the situation. With a muttered oath he turned to stare at Sirius, and for a second he was actually concerned for this man. If Remus allowed the dark magic to take him over fully, there was no telling what would happen if Sirius kept up his antagonism towards Severus. 

With a quick stride he went up and stood between Sirius and Remus, acting like a shield almost just in case. He turned to look at Sirius, his coal black eyes now calm and collected. He had to let Sirius know he wasn't the threat here now. He leaned in towards him and in a low voice said, "Listen to me Black, if you don't stop feeling the hate you do right now Remus is going to hurt you, maybe even kill you. He can't control his powers yet, so I'm warning you....either calm down...or leave. Now." 

Sirius stared back at Severus uncomprehending, his hate for Severus was too strong. "What the bloody hell do you mean by that Snape? Don't you _dare_ tell _me_ what to do you...you piece of slime. I"m _warning_ you..." 

Severus didn't even get a chance to cut him off, Remus did it for him. Remus had heard what had been said by Sirius, and it was the last straw for him. In a blur he was at the desk, with one hand he lifted Sirius out of the chair by his neck, his eyes blazing almost black with anger. "And _I_ warned _you_ to get out Sirius. You _don't_ have the right to tell _anyone_ what to do anymore...not me, not Severus. _Noone_. You should have listened to me Sirius....you should have listened..." Remus said in a voice very unlike his own. It was a deeper, fuller voice laced with pure malice. 

Severus knew he had to do something, despite how he hated Black he certainly didn't wish for his death, especially not by his lifemate's hand. Turning back to Sirius he said quietly, "You brought this upon yourself Black, but much as I hate to say it I don't wish for your demise. Stay still. For once in your pathetic life, trust me." 

Remus wasn't going to be put off however, his hand itched to crush Sirius's neck beneath his fingers. The powers within him wanted to be satisfied, they wanted Remus to know what it was really like to have control over life and death at his command. "No, he's _mine_ to deal with not _yours_ Severus. _He_ doesn't deserve to live...he hurt _me_...he used _me_...he deserves _nothing_ from _me!"_ Remus said in angered cry, although his eyes showed the pain of his betrayals and tortured emotions. 

Severus knew he had to get through to his lifemate quickly, and he hoped that although it hadn't worked the last time, this time it would. If it didn't, Sirius Black would be dead, Remus wasn't going to let him go. Somehow though he had the feeling that Remus had more control over himself this time, so he drew on that and closing his eyes opened a link to him. 

_"Remus....I know you can hear me...you _must_ stop this..."_

_"No Sev, he's hurting me...hurting us...it'll be one less person in the world to do that.."_

_"Remus you're wrong. Killing him _isn't_ the answer. He's your friend..."_

_"**NO**! If he was really my friend he'd understand! He wouldn't do this to us...to _me_!"_

_"He's upset love, he doesn't understand. Killing him _won't_ help that happen."_

_"He'll _never_ want to understand Severus...he never tried to before why would he now?"_

_"Remus...for my sake let him go. Even if he never does it _doesn't_ matter. I'd rather you hate him while he's alive then regret him when he's dead. Trust me my love...let him go..."_

_"I do trust _you_ Severus...but I can't trust _him_...I want to make _him_ suffer like he made _me_ suffer all these years..."_

_"No Remus listen to me...killing...death...it's an ends to a means..but _not_ the solution. Believe me...I know...I know Remus...having blood on your hands for causing death is a guilt I _don't _want for you...it's a guilt I live with all too often..."_

_"You...._you've_ killed...?"_

_"Yes Remus...I have...and trust me when I tell you..it is _not_ pleasurable...it's frightening, tormenting...it takes away a piece of your soul bit by bit...please Remus..please just put him down...it's _not_ worth it..."_

Severus's words brought Remus back from the edge. He could feel the bitterness in Severus's voice cut through him like a knife. His lifemate was in pain because of _him_, because _he_ thought what he was doing was right, a justification. But Severus was the one who was right...but then he knew his lifemate was _always_ right.... 

With a cry of anguish he let Sirius go and fled into Severus's arms, his courage gone, his anger no longer a part of him. He was ashamed, guilty, and all he wanted was to feel Severus's arms round him, comforting him. Telling him it was allright, that he wasn't a monster, that he wasn't a killer. 

Severus felt all this coming from Remus as if it was embedded within himself. The emotions were more then strong enough for him to understand clearly what Remus needed, and he remembered the book had said that once joined he would feel strong emotions like this no matter where his lifemate was. Tenderly he wrapped his arms round Remus's trembling body, not even caring that his shirt was getting soaked by Remus's tears. Putting his hand on Remus's hair gently stroking it he said softly, "It's allright Remus...it's allright..." 

Sirius watched the two of them from where he lay crumpled on the floor. He rubbed his neck for a moment and swallowed, making sure that he was allright himself, then shakily stood up using the desk for support. He hadn't a clue what had just happened, but he had a damn good feeling that somehow Severus Snape had just saved his life. 

As he stood there watching the two of them he was surprized at the tenderness Severus was showing Remus, and at the way Remus was calming down under his influence. His eyes then fell upon something on Severus that made him breath in sharply, and in that moment he finally understood what was going on. Why Remus had fled to him, needed his comforting. And why Severus was acting in the strange way he was. 

"You're...lifemates now...aren't you." Sirius said quietly, his gaze still on Severus's neck. 

Severus looked over Remus's head at Sirius with an odd expression and nodded slowly. "Yes." he said back quietly. 

Sirius felt the earth drop from beneath his feet. _*It's too late then Remus...I've lost you for good...I"m so sorry Remy...sorry for everything I've ever done to you...*_ he thought sadly, and he knew what he had to do now. He wanted...needed even..to know what was happening to Remus. To help him even if he could, though he didn't know how but he would try. He would always love Remus, and the last thing he wanted was to lose him forever, even if that forever meant he was now Snape's lifemate. 

"I'm sorry." he said quietly. 

Remus stiffened, not quite sure what he had just heard. Turning round he faced Sirius, questions in his eyes. "Sirius?" he asked. 

Sirius shook his head. "I'm sorry for everything Remus. For everything I've ever put you through. For making you feel so horrible about yourself. I know I've been a git all these years...and I'm sorry. I...I don't want to lose you Remy...even if...if it means you're with Snape now...talk to me Remy...please...tell me what you want me to do..." he said pleadingly. 

Remus sniffed back the rest of his tears and looked at Sirius a moment wearily. He let everything Sirius just said filter through his mind, and he realized Sirius was actually being well....serious. He walked over to where Sirius was standing, and to both Severus and Sirius's surprize, pulled him into a hug. 

"For as annoying as you are Sirius Black...sometimes you amaze me." Remus said looking back at Sirius now with a smile on his face. 

Sirius was a bit stunned but half smiled back. "Remy?" he said unsure of what was going on still. 

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Yes, you _are_ a git most of the time...but you're my git...and my friend. We've been through alot together you and me Siri, and the past is now the past. I know you can never accept Severus as a part of my life..not really, and I won't ask you to. All I ask is that you accept me...for what and who I am _now_." 

Sirius looked for a moment from Remus to Severus then back to Remus. "I probably never will like Snape, but for _you_ Remus, I _will_ try to understand. I don't trust _him_, but I trust _you_ Remy. And I _do_ want to know what's going on with you, honestly. James did tell me why you were recruited, and what you were messing with...but I didn't want to believe it. Guess that's another thing I was wrong on.." he said nervously chuckling. 

"There's alot about me you don't know anymore Siri, and that's partly my fault. I should have told you and James how bad things were for me, but I was so determined to make it on my own. I realize now though that I don't have to...I have The Order now, people who believe in me...and most of all I have Severus...and...hopefully...you too Siri..." he said more as a question than anything else. 

Sirius smiled and hugged Remus this time. "Just _try_ and get rid of me Remy. I promise you I'll do my best to try to make things right. I miss you wolf....believe it or not I have missed you. I just...I'll just need a bit of time though to well..." he looked over at Severus hesitantly. 

Remus smiled in understanding. "It's allright Sirius, I know. But keep in mind he is on _our_ side now...Albus and everyone else...and mainly _I_ trust him...and...I love him Sirius. He's my lifemate now, you have to understand that." Remus said and walked back over to Severus putting his arm round his waist, Severus possesively doing the same to Remus, though he kept a steady eye on Sirius almost as if challenging him to say something else. 

Sirius looked at the two of them, at how contrasting they were side by side. Severus with his black clothes, just past shoulder length greasy looking hair, his calculatingly cold black eyes. Remus dressed in his earthy brown worn robe, shorter mousy brown hair streaked with grey, his eyes now back to a soft golden brown, and standing atleast a good 4 inches shorter then Severus. Yet, despite the differences they both seemed to have an internal glow about them, a happiness that Remus never had round anyone else. A trust and partnership that was fluid and gentle. 

"For you're sake Remy I'll deal with it, I promise." Sirius said nodding his head. "I guess I should go then...sounds like you had plans. Don't want to ah...interrupt anything..." he said heading towards the door of the classroom. 

Remus thought quickly for a second and came to a decision. "Actually, since you're here allready...how bout you join us for lunch Sirius? I'm sure you wouldn't mind a meal in which you didn't have to cook or buy for a change...and we can catch up on things...if you want to that is.." Remus said hesitantly. 

"Hmm...that depends..." Sirius said giving him a slight grin. 

"On what?" Remus asked. 

"On whether or not the food here is as good as I remember it to be...so is it?" Sirius said playfully. 

Remus laughed. "Better I think actually. You can tell me all bout your new godson too. Honestly though seeing you as a godfather...." he said teasingly. Giving Severus a look that clearly said how much he needed to spend a few moments alone with Sirius, he took Sirius by the arm and together they walked out of the classroom. 

As Severus watched the two of them leave he knew he was more then a bit apprehensive. It's not that he was jealous, he wasn't. He didn't trust Black farther than he could throw him yet, probably never would, but when all was said and done he was Remus's friend. And right now if Remus was going to have any hope of controlling the powers within him, he was going to need those friends. 

_*You can be so foolish sometimes Severus Snape. Those so called friends of his will never trust you. And now look what you've done...really..revealing everything infront of those strangers. Don't think for a moment they wouldn't turn you in if need be...*_ his inner voice chided him. 

_*What do you know? Remus loves me, and he needs those friends of his. And I knew what I was doing when I told them. I'd rather spend the rest of my life in Azkaban then spend one day of having Remus hate me for what I am...was.*_

_*You are a terrible liar Severus. You wouldn't survive a day in a place like Azkaban and you know it. Face it, you're too damn soft these days. Remus has turned you into a wuss.*_

_*He has _not_. Just because I'm not my father doesn't mean I'm a wuss. My father was an evil, horrible git and I promised mum I'd _never_ turn into him.*_

_*Ha! You did when you were helping Lucius 'play' with the latest batch of muggles less then six months ago wasn't it?*_

_*Sod off! I _know_ what I did and I _don't_ need _you_ to remind me! Remus saved my life...he brought me back from what I was...just screw you allright? I need him...just as much as he needs his friends...and me.*_

_*Ah...now that's the key isn't he. He does need you but for what purposes?*_

_*Just because he loves me, and I love him, that's more then enough purpose for _me_. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get to lunch before it's over, so go away.*_

_*Hmph, you're still so naive aren't you Severus. You should have stayed in Stephan's bed, atleast he knew the rules. He wouldn't have hurt you in the end...*_

_*Nor will Remus, you'll see. Remus would never hurt me, he loves me. Now go away, you're annoying me...*_

_*Fine fine, I'm going. But remember what I told you before Severus Snape...you will fall, and I'll be here waiting....and now you've nowhere to turn...love is for the weakminded Severus....not for you...you'd do well to keep that in mind.*_

Severus waited until he was sure his inner voice had finally left his mind and with a muttered, "Good riddance." he headed out the door of the classroom. His eyes were a bit darker, his thoughts trying to push away what had been said. His inner voice had to be wrong this time, it just had to be. Remus would hurt him no more than he would hurt Remus. And he was going to make damn sure that would never, ever happen, no matter what the consequences. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

Actually when you think bout the hearing that a werewolf would have it almost puts a scene of the film into a strange new light. The fact that when Severus and Quirrell were in the library and Severus heard Harry's breathing under the cloak, yet Filch nor Quirrell did makes me wonder a bit....doesn't it though? I mean how did Severus hear what the rest didn't? 

Not to mention the instinctive way he just pops up at the specific times in which Harry talks bout him....or like in book 4 when Harry get's trapped in the false step...Sev just knows he's there somewhere...and would have found him if it hadn't been for Barty (Moody)....Ohh the possibilities though if it was because Sev was part wolf or something eh? :grin: :P 

The other thing in the fic is the line 'I choose us'. That comes from the film 'Family Man', and I loved that line for some reason. Though personally I wasn't thrilled with the ending of the film, the story in itself is worth watching. 

2002-05-10 11:35:25 PM 


	14. Plans Of The Unexpected Nature

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Plans Of The Unexpected Nature~~~~_**

When all was said and done Severus had to admit that lunch was not going over as bad as he thought it would. Black managed to be his usual charming Gryffindor self with the few staff remaining, talking mainly about young Harry and his renewed project of rebuilding his flying motorbike. Basically the only reason it went so well as far as Severus was concerned was simply because Black was avoiding him pretty much completely. 

Which was fine by him since he figured it was far better being ignored then glared at all during the meal. Severus was actually a bit envious that Sirius was working on the motorbike, in Paris he had ridden quite a few of the muggle inventions and had enjoyed them immensely. Which ironically made him internally grin when he thought bout what Sirius Black would ever say if he knew that Severus himself owned a few black leather biking outfits. Not to mention that according to Stephan, he looked 'damnably dashing and debonair' on the last bike he'd ridden. 

As it was he said little to nothing during the meal though, letting Remus have his time with Sirius which Severus knew he needed. He could tell both of them were still a bit weary of each other, but hopefully with a little bit of time they would get over that, more for Remus's sake mainly. He didn't want his Remus hurt anymore, least of all by the likes of Sirius Black, someone who was supposed to be his friend. 

Not that he really counted Stephan and the others in Paris his 'friends', but those hours spent all these years among such people made him realize how important the values of the word 'friendship' really meant. The only person in the wizarding world he considered as even close to that aspect would have to be Lucius Malfoy, though that was a 'friendship' he preferred not to think about. 

By now he had pretty much had tuned out everyone round him to think on all this, so he was surprized when he heard his name being called by Albus. Blinking for a moment to refocus his thoughts he said, "Forgive me. What did you want Headmaster?". Years of being 'proper' still wouldn't allow him to called Albus anything but that or Professor whilst in public, even if now in private he would. 

"It's quite allright. I was asking you if you had heard from Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. Seems they came forth with some news of their own earlier today." Albus said smiling at him. 

Severus shook his head. "I can honestly say Headmaster that I have not read a copy of today's _Daily Prophet_ as of yet. So therefore no, I am not aware of any news from the Malfoys, nor from any one else in the world for that matter." he said in his usual silky drawl. 

"Ah well then, perhaps I should inform you that the Malfoy's also had cause to celebrate yesterday. I believe the young lad's name is Draco. Yes, Draco Lucius Malfoy I believe." Albus said to him. 

Severus did show some slight surprize at that news. "Allready? I thought Narcissa wasn't due for atleast another month." 

"Apparently it seems the child was anxious to join this world of ours a bit earlier. Two births in one day, being separated by only two hours in birthtime, and only two rooms from each other. Sybil would say that's truely an omen of sorts for these two children." Albus said with a twinkle in his eyes. 

"Now don't you start _that_ Albus, you'll give that woman an ego boost. Personally I think it's just typical of the Malfoy's. They just couldn't bare to have _all_ the attention focused on the birth of little Harry that's what it is. What kind of name is Draco anyway, too dramatic for my tastes." Minerva said with a sniff. 

"Come come Minerva, I'm sure the Malfoy's didn't purposely have _their_ child on the same day _our_ Harry was born just to antagonize _you_ and the rest of the wizarding world. From what I understand there was a slight complication in the child's condition, resulting in the early birth. I'm sure it will not take away _any_ happiness from the Potter's." Albus said to her, his blue eyes twinkling in amusement. 

"Draco is actually a form of Lucius's father's name Drakonen, if I remember correctly that is err..Professor McGonagall. And I usually do remember correctly." Severus said though he didn't look at Minerva when he spoke. In fact as he glanced at Remus and saw the bemused look on his face, he realized he might never be able to look Minerva in the eyes ever again. _*Just you wait Remus, I'll get you for this!*_ his mind wryly thought. 

"I"ve done a bit of study on names in the past actually, an old hobby of mine. Draco, or rather it's parent form Drake in the Old English texts means Dragon, a name of power. Harry's name however comes from ah..yes the muggle religion of Judaism, and means Ruler of the House." Remus said lightly, trying to draw attention away from the slightly fidgeting Severus. 

"That is correct Remus. Harry couldn't be more aptly named in that respect considering things. Severus is also correct in that it was the late Mr. Malfoy in which Draco was named from. Perhaps when you visit St. Mungo's later this evening you might want to stop in and say your well wishes to them Severus. I'm sure Lucius and Narcissa will be happy to see you." Albus said. 

Severus looked up startled. "L-later...Headmaster?" 

"Yes Severus, later tonight. You are still planning on going with Remus to see young Harry aren't you? Or was the owl I received from James this morning in error?" Albus said turning to Severus. For the briefest moment he saw Albus's eyes flicker to his neck, and he saw the barest nod come from him as if he knew what the mark on Severus's neck really was. 

Severus looked away from Albus's gaze hurriedly, not because he really cared that Albus probably knew what he and Remus had done, but because he didn't think it was anyone's business but Remus's and his. He did wonder however why Albus was going out of his way to make it clear to all present that Severus and Remus were obviously going to hospital later, and specifically to the point that they were going _together_...to see the Potters and _not_ the Malfoys. 

"Wait a minute here....Remus? You actually intended to bring Snape to see Harry? And James agreed to this?" Sirius said finally stepping into the conversation again while looking at Remus incredulously. 

"Yes I do Sirius, I trust _you_ don't have a problem with that? Seeing of course that James hadn't any problem when I asked it of _him_." he said keeping his voice light though he gave Sirius a look that meant anything but. 

"Lupin...." Severus began but was waved off by Remus. 

"No Severus, let Sirius answer this one for himself. I think he's quite capable of doing that, don't _you_ agree...Sirius?" Remus said with tension now in his voice. 

Sirius looked at Remus, a million thoughts running through his mind, most of them not good. He knew his friendship with Remus was still on tenterhooks, and for all the pranks in the world he wasn't going to make anything worse, atleast not here infront of these people. "Of course...I have no problem with it Remy." he said smiling quickly. "Besides Lily would destroy me if I were to even _dare_ try and stop you from coming to see them. You know what Lily can be like mate, that hair of her's matches her temper!" he said with an actual chuckle now. 

Remus relaxed, chuckling himself and shook his head. "Redheads eh?" he said with a grin. "We both should know by now _never_ to argue with Lily, we never _could_ win against her." 

"As if we'd even _try_! You remember the time we snuck out of the dorms for our first kitchen raid? We were what...13? James wangled that house-elf into finally telling him how to get there and we planned it for weeks. When we finally did get the chance to go there I thought she would kill us on the spot when we got back!" Sirius said grinning broadly. 

Remus laughed. "I think she was more angry that we only brought back enough for ourselves and not her though! She swore revenge on us if we didn't bring back enough for her too the next time we snuck out." he said grinning. 

"And she got it too remember? James 'neglected' to inform her of our next raid, conveniently 'forgot' her food, and the next night he went to sleep only to find a bed full of newts waiting for him!" Sirius said laughing. 

"Oh cor, I nearly forgot that! It took him hours to get all those magiking things out of the dorm, they were _everywhere_ in the end. Good thing Lily didn't come in, I think James would have hexed her into the next week. Poor James though, he had to sneak down to the lake and put them all back too...only except he forgot a few and woke up to a nasty little surprize the next morning." Remus said grinning. 

"Oh _honestly_ boys! I swear you five were the deaths of all of us back then. I don't know how we ever managed _not_ to expel you for all those pranks you pulled. It was bad enough when you were doing it to the other students and the teachers, but when it was directed at each _other_..." Minerva said rolling her eyes though a grin was on her face. 

Remus and Sirius grinned back at her sheepishly. "You always had a soft spot for us Minerva, _especially_ for James, face it." Sirius said grinning at her. "Ah...those were the days though eh Remy? Hey, that reminds me...you haven't heard from Pete have you? James said he got an owl from him bout a week ago, something bout him taking a trip down south, but nothing since." Sirius asked. 

Remus thought for a moment and shook his head. "No I haven't heard from him, but that's not unusual for Peter lately. He's been acting a bit strange going off and such. I wouldn't worry bout it, most likely he's probably found himself a girlfriend and just too afraid to tell us, you know how shy Peter is." 

Sirius groaned. "Don't remind me! James and I used to spend hours trying to convince him to talk to that Hufflepuff girl back in 7th year, not that it did _any_ good. Ah well, that's Pete for you. Well much as I do hate to say it, I do have to go. I've got some parts that came in for the bike and want to make sure the bloke doesn't close his shop up before I can get there. Muggles and their 'tea time' honestly! _Never_ will understand that custom." he said with a shrug and got up from the table. 

"Oi, you couldn't survive a day in the muggle world Siri, and I pity you if you ever did have to." Remus said chuckling. "And when you do get that thing finally working let me know. Wouldn't mind a spin on it myself." he said standing up and giving Sirius a hug. 

"_You_? Ha! Remember the _last_ time I took you out on Black Beauty? You nearly _strangled_ me!" Sirius said shaking his head. 

Remus snorted. "That's _only_ because _you_ failed to put up the invisibility and silencing charms _before_ we took to the air, and those muggles just happen to have been standing right where you just _had_ to land. Really Siri, if Lily hadn't come when she did to cast a few memory charms...." Remus said with a mocked grimace. 

Sirius threw his hands in the air in defeat. "Allright allright, I _promise_ to take you out and this time I'll _remember_ to stay invisible. Wondrful meal as always Albus, Minerva. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again." he said smiling at both of them. 

"Take care of yourself Sirius, and stay out of trouble for a change will you?" Minerva said with a slight grin. 

"Awe Minerva you're just _no_ fun!" Sirius said with a grin and winked at her. 

"I'll be in touch Sirius." Albus said with a nod, Sirius nodding back to him. 

Giving Remus a last hug he turned to go, stopping only a moment at where Severus was sitting. Leaning in he whispered to him, "Take care of him Snape cause if you don't you'll be dealing with _me_...and...for what it's worth...thank you..." A nod from Severus told him that his words were understood, and with that he headed down the rows of tables and out the doors of the Great Hall. 

"Everything allright Severus?" Remus said turning to him questioningly. 

Severus nodded. "Just fine Lupin. I believe you wanted to speak with the Headmaster about something, so I will wait for you back in the classroom." he said, and with a nod from Remus got up and headed out the side door reserved for the school teachers, heading himself back towards the dungeons. 

Black's words bothered him a bit, though why he didn't know. As he approached the classroom and sat down at his desk, he replayed the scene earlier again in his mind. One thing that had helped Severus in his line of work was that he had a photographic memory, and when need be he could recall not just ingredients and the like, but people, places, names and conversations in total perfection. 

That's when it hit him what was bothering him bout Black. It was what he had said to Remus right before Remus allowed the dark powers to take him over. And a part of him couldn't believe what he was remembering...._"If I had known what Snape was earlier I never would have let you come back here. I thought I was doing the right thing sending you back to that git...."_

_*He sent him back...to me? That day he went to see Black, Remus returned here so quickly...could it be possible that...that Black knew? That he deliberately sabotaged his friendship...his relationship even with Remus...because of me?"_

Absentmindedly Severus got out of his chair and began to pace the classroom, so many things running through his head that he didn't understand. Yet...if he was honest with himself, he was beginning to see a larger piece of this whole puzzle. Remus's reaction when he had returned that night. Black's reaction towards him now though Remus had assured him they hadn't been together in years. And things began to fall into place. 

_*My gods....he...he loves Remus! Even now...even knowing he can never have Remus again...he still loves him! Something must have happened that day though..something to cause him to realize Remus didn't love him back...so he did the only thing he could do. Black let him go...to the one person Remus did want....*_

Severus's new hearing skills alerted him that someone was coming down the corridor so he stopped his pacing and waited, staring at the door of the classroom. Moments later Remus walked in, a smile on his lips. That was until he saw the strange look on Severus's face, and that smile faded a bit. "Sev? What's wrong....you're looking at me funny...is there something on my face?" 

Severus just stood there for a moment looking at Remus, debating what to do. A part of him was saying to leave this alone, to not get involved. But a bigger part of him was screaming to know the truth. To know if what his thoughts were saying were true. Without even realizing what he was doing he said softly, "What happened between you and Black that day Remus. I need to know the truth..." 

Remus was more than a bit surprized at what Severus was asking him. He knew full well what it was he meant, though he didn't understand why it had anything to do with them now. "Why Severus? What does it matter now, it's over. Can't we just forget about it?" 

Severus shook his head. "No Remus, you might be able to but I can't. You don't see it, but I do. Why he let you come back here? Why to me? Don't you see it Remus...can't you see it?" 

Remus looked at Severus with an unsure expression in his eyes until finally those words did sink in. Lowering himself into one of the student's chairs he sighed deeply. "Oh Sev....you're right...gods I've been so blind all these years. He _did_ love me...didn't he..." he said quietly. 

Severus walked over to where Remus was sitting, his body feeling almost like lead. Shaking his head he said, "No Remus...it's not that he _did_ love you...it's that he still _does_ love you. And it killed him that his love wasn't returned. That's why he will never learn to accept me Remus, because he'll never stop hating me for taking you away from him. He knows now he's lost you forever...and he'll hate _me_ forever for being the one _you_ love..." 

"No...that can't be right...can't be true. If Sirius loves me then...then why did he hurt me so badly? Why did he send me away like that after we...." Remus said stopping short at almost revealing what he didn't want to reveal. 

Severus however didn't miss that implication. "You slept with him that day didn't you." he said quietly. 

Remus sighed and slowly nodded, hanging his head down in shame. "Yes...I did....not that I really had a choice at the time but...it's a long story Sev. He still pushed me away in the end, made me come back here. If he really loves me than he would have fought harder to keep me..." Remus said, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. 

"Oh Remus, don't you see? Love can make the smartest man become the simplest of fools. I believe it's the muggles who have a saying..."If you love something set it free, if it returns to you it was yours. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with." I think he was still hoping you would come back to him...and now that he knows that can't happen..." 

"He still loves me though...even though I won't be back. Gods he's crazy..." Remus said sniffing back his tears. 

Severus gave a light chuckle and shook his head. "Much as I have to say I'd like to believe that...but...now that I know what being in love is like...I'd have to say I'd be just as crazy as Black is. If the situation was reversed Remus, I'd be hating me too honestly. I can't imagine my life without you in it now, how horrible it would be to not have you here with me." 

"I won't always be though Sev, you know that...the Order...Albus...they need me." Remus said. 

"Damn the Order and Albus, _I_ need you more Remus. Gods now I know what Black must be suffering through...the thought of even one day without you near me is torturous! Oh Remus promise me...promise me you'll never stop loving me...needing me...I'm not like Black...I'm not that strong....I can't let you go..." Severus said pleadingly. 

Remus got up from the chair and walked over to Severus, wrapping his arms round his mates body tightly and looking up into his eyes. "I love _you_ Severus...not Sirius...just _you_. I promise that no matter what happens, no matter where I am...I will _never_ stop loving and needing you. But we both know that there's a war going on out there, and that we _are_ needed by far more people then just ourselves right now. You have to be strong for me Sev, you have to be because I can't do this alone...." he said quietly. 

Severus sighed deeply and nodded, wrapping his arms tightly round Remus's body as well. "You're right, I know you're right. It just hurts me to know we have to be separated soon. I'm sorry I asked you about that day you were with Black, I really am..." he said apologetically. 

Remus shook his head. "No Sev, you made me realize a few things bout that day I needed to know. I thought Sirius sent me away because he hated me, because he was using me all this time. I was wrong it seems, he was only saying what he did because he knew I wouldn't leave him otherwise. If you want the truth, I don't know what happened that made him do that, I probably will never know. He did what he had to do, and I will love him forever for that. For sending me back to where I really belong...with _you_..." he said softly and leaned up to give Severus a tender kiss. 

Severus melted into Remus's words and kiss fervently. He had needed to hear that from his lover, he had been afraid that when Remus learned the truth bout Black still loving him that he would have had doubts bout what happened between the two of them. That Remus would regret binding with him and not Sirius, and it was dizzying to him that in this case, he was grateful to be wrong. 

Breaking the kiss he gazed deeply into Remus's shining eyes and whispered, "I love you so much Remus Lupin...how is it possible you chose me over Black though...I hope this isn't some strange potion induced dream...because if it is I pray I never wake up...." he said dreamily. 

Remus grinned and gave Severus another quick kiss on the lips. "If this is a dream Severus Snape, make sure not to wake me up either. And why I choose you is simple...just _because_. For everything you are, good _and_ bad. For the way you can be so cold and cruel at times...to the way you can be so gentle, tender and loving. For the midnight chats, the late night novel readings...for everything. Just because I love you...and that's good enough for _me_." he said firmly. 

Severus chuckled, "Gods I wish I had gotten to know you sooner. If only I hadn't been so damned afraid of you Gryffindor's...." 

Remus grinned. "Not as much as we were afraid of you Slytherins believe it or not. Half the pranks we pulled on you guys back then was only because we knew we _could_ get away with it and if you came back at us _we_ would get off scot free. What Sirius said was true...Minerva did have a soft spot for us...mainly James. But then being who he is that's not surprizing I guess." 

Severus looked at Remus questioningly at that comment. "What do you mean by that? And now that I think of it...why is Harry's name so appropriate according to Albus?" 

Remus looked up at Severus debating if he should tell him the truth or not, but he didn't want any secrets from his lifemate. "Because I know I can trust you Sev I'll tell you. But this is between you and me, _noone_ else is to know. The only reason we found out about it is because we overheard James having an argument with Albus after his parents died as to what was going to happen to him." 

"I understand. I promise you I won't tell a soul what you tell me Remus, you know I won't." Severus said firmly. 

Remus drew in a breath and exhaled it slowly, stepping away from Severus to gather up his thoughts. "I remember that day James and Albus talked like it was yesterday. His parents...they were murdered...by Voldemort..." 

Severus paled, "Merlin Remus...I...I didn't know that..." 

"No..._noone_ did. All the official reports said were that they met with an accident abroad. It _wasn't _an accident, they died _here_, fighting against Voldemort. He came to James's father, telling him that if he joined with him, that together they could rule the world...two bloodlines joined as one...but James's father wouldn't have anything to do with it...or him. He was too proud, too noble. Voldemort in anger at his refusal killed him and James's mum just to prove he _could_ do it." 

Severus gave a low whistle. "I knew Voldemort was crazy...but killing a pureblooded family? Why?" 

"Simple. Voldemort knows the truth about the Potters. Or...rather...I should say...the Gryffindors..." Remus said slowly. 

Severus stared at Remus completely floored. "G-Gryffindors? You don't mean...you're not saying that...Potter is..." 

Remus nodded. "That's exactly what I"m saying Sev. James's great great grandmum on his dad's side...her maiden name was Gryffindor. James...and of course now Harry...are the last surviving direct heirs of the house of Gryffindor. Godric's own descendants. That's why Albus and James were arguing that night. They didn't know Sirius and I were listening however." 

"Why were they arguing though?" 

"It was just before Yule in our 7th year when James's parent's were killed. James wanted to go back home for their funeral and to put the house at Godric's Hollow in order. Albus refused to let him leave the school. He said it wasn't safe, that Voldemort was going to come after him now to try and succeed where he failed with James's father. That Voldemort had vowed to kill every last heir of Gryffindor if they didn't join him. It would be James's death if he left right just then." 

"What happened then?" Severus said quietly, still awed by all this. 

Remus shrugged. "Albus lost. James went home with Arabella Figg, though now I can understand why she was chosen since she's a protector. He came back right before the rest of the school did and for a while he was in pretty bad shape. It took us weeks to get him to come back halfway round to his usual self. But...he was never really the same again after that Yule...." he said thoughtfully. 

"How so? What changed?" 

"I guess you could say James grew up after that. Oh he was still a prankster and all but...he became more serious. Taking his Head Boy responsibilities to the fullest, studying harder for the N.E.W.T.S., even...asking Lily to marry him though their relationship had been more for fun than anything else at that point. She doesn't know the truth by the way. Far as I know, Sirius and myself are the only two who do know of our group. We both agreed we'd never tell James we'd overheard that conversation, and we never have told him." 

"So...James Potter is an heir of Gryffindor...it makes sense now. Of course that's why all of you got away with so much, while the rest of us paid for our rebuttals. McGonagall and Albus would never dare hurt a descendant...Merlin though Remus...Harry! What's going to happen to _him_?" Severus said worriedly. 

Remus shivered. "I don't know Sev, I don't know. If I know James though he's got up more then a few spells and charms round that kid already, probably as many as he's got up round himself." 

"What do you mean by that? What kind of spells and charms?" Severus said questioningly. 

Remus looked at Severus and chuckled. "Oh honestly Sev! Being an heir of Gryffindor gives him...I don't know...some sort of special stuff you could say...I don't know how to explain it. Powers I guess. It doesn't make him immortal or invincible or anything like that, but I do know he's got certain protections. Like he can use magic spells without a wand." 

Severus blinked. "That's _not_ possible Remus. Not even Voldemort can do that and he's an heir of Slytherin. You just _can't_ do it...potions yes, not spells." 

Remus shook his head. "He _can_ Sev, I've _seen_ him do it. If he gets really angry...I've seen what he's capable of. Things happen round him Sev...odd things. Things that you and I _would_ need a wand for..._he_ doesn't. By rights he should have been expelled from Hogwarts hundreds of times during the Yule and summer hols for as many times as he 'accidentally' let lose with the 'odd' spell or powers or whatever he's got. But the ministry didn't even bother sending him warnings after a while...when they did his father took care of them just like that." 

"So how come his father didn't do that? How come they died, that Voldemort could kill them so easily?" Severus said still a bit skeptical. 

Remus shrugged again. "I suppose it's not powerful enough that they still couldn't die probably, but enough to give them warning of things I'd wager. James probably has them round Lily and Harry too if I guess right. I doubt even the Unspeakables or the best trained Aurors could see the spells he's got on him. The only reason I slightly detect something is my wolf senses pick it up. You'll see too, tonight when we go. Then you can judge for yourself." 

"For his sake...and his family's...I hope so Remus. I have a good feeling that the only way we're ever going to bring Voldemort's demise lies within the Potters. Call me crazy if you will but...if the heir of Gryffindor can't defeat the evil that is Voldemort...then all hope _is_ lost..." he said with a sigh. 

Remus nodded in agreement. "I think you're right Sev. James is the only hope we all really have...if _he_ dies...who knows what will happen then. Harry's only a baby, he can't fight Voldemort yet. We _have_ to help protect him Sev. It's not much of a chance, but it's a chance nonetheless. I've _got_ to learn more of the dark arts...sometimes the only way to fight fire...is _with_ fire. Dark to dark. And so help me I'll do whatever I can to help James, Lily and especially Harry. And everyone else." 

Severus nodded slowly. "You're right Remus. This goes way beyond you and me, beyond all of us. I promise you here and now, I vow to protect Harry with _my_ life as well. Thank you for telling me the truth about Potter. I don't know if he'll believe me, but somehow tonight I"ll try to convince him that my intentions _are_ for the best." 

Remus smiled at his mate, positive that he would do just that. "I know you will Sev, I have faith in you. Besides, it's _not_ James you have to worry bout...it's Lily. If you can win _her_ over then you'll have no problem at all...it's getting past _her_ first is the problem." he said with a wry chuckle. 

Severus grinned. "Hmm, so Potter's been beaten by a mere woman eh? Well, I can honestly say I know little to nothing bout the female species, and I am no way shape or form a charmer like Black is, but I _think_ I can manage to get on her good side. Or die trying..." 

Remus laughed. "Die is the key word. She's got a temper on her that one does, make no mistake. Just stay calm and cool and she'll realize you don't mean any harm to her, James or Harry. And besides, far as _I'm _concerned Severus Snape, _you_ are even more charming and dashing then Sirius Black could _ever_ be." 

"Coming from you love, those are words I could happily die by." Severus said with a smile. "Now, I do believe that you said something about plans for this afternoon? Or was I perhaps being misled Mr. Lupin?" he said teasingly. 

Remus chuckled. "Not likely, I"m usually the misled one. But as it happens yes, the plans are set. I suppose I could tell you now, only if you promise you won't back out at the last moment..." Remus said warningly, though it was more in jest then for real. 

Severus gazed up into the air and threw his hands up. "On my mother's grave I swear I won't..." 

Remus snorted and said, "You're mum's _not_ dead Severus, that much I _do_ know...try again mister..." 

Severus laughed. "Allright allright...on the grave of my father then..happy?" 

Remus grinned and nodded. "That works, considering I know how much you hated him...but anyway...we're flooing out from Hogsmeade to London. We're going out." 

"Out? Out where?" Severus said puzzled. 

"Oi Severus, you're impossible! What _else_ do you do when you go to London...you go out! We're taking off the afternoon and spending it _together_. No school, no nothing. Just you and me. And muggle London." 

"Muggle London. And _what_ Remus, are _we_ planning to _do_ in _muggle_ London?" Severus asked him wondringly. 

Remus laughed. "Be muggles that's what! We're going to do what muggles _do_...go sightseeing...and hopefully...catch some dinner while we're out and about. I know this wondrful little italian place down in Kensington..." 

Severus stared at Remus in shock. "You've _got_ to be joking Remus...you _are_...aren't you?" 

Remus shook his head and laughed. "No I"m _not_ kidding Sev. For all the time I've spent living amongst the muggles, I've never done anything _fun_. I've always been too afraid, and too damn lonely. I want to do what two people in love would do on their first trip to London. Go sightseeing.....I have just the perfect places too...starting with the Tower of London. You'll _love_ it there...I hear it's all dark and depressing...just _you're _style Sev!" he said with a laugh. 

Severus groaned and shook his head. "Unbelievable. _You_ are _impossible_ Remus Lupin!" 

"And _you_ are adorable Severus Snape! And you _are_ going to enjoy yourself, trust me. The place I mentioned for dinner can be quite cozy too...very romantic..." he said with a coy grin. 

Severus rolled his eyes. "Oh really now...and _you_ would know this because....?" he said teasingly. 

Remus grinned. "Not what you think I would that's for sure. I admit I have been there, and no _not_ with Sirius. He hates italian food for starters. And no _not_ with anyone else either, trust me there. It's just that I rather fancy italian food and never having been to Italy...it's as close as I've gotten. I found the place quite by accident one night when I was walking home from Paddington Station that's all Sev. It is a nice little place though...you do like italian food I hope?" Remus questioned now. 

Severus looked into those lovely eyes of Remus's and couldn't even dare to turn down what his lover wanted him to do for the afternoon. "As a matter of fact, I love italian food, though not nearly as much as I love _you_. I'll agree to this muggle outing of yours, but don't expect me to become all 'muggleish' while I"m there." 

Remus chuckled. "Severus, I wouldn't deem to ask you not to behave in your usual 'public' persona when we're out. In fact I find it rather enjoyable sometimes. It gives a unique air about you, mysterious even. Not to mention how much it thrills me when I know that underneath it all is the softest, sweetest, not to mention sexiest man I've ever known in my life..." he said playfully. 

Severus only responded by pulling Remus back into his arms and showing him just how much of all that he really was. When he finally let go of Remus's lips he whispered breathlessly, "I won't even begin to describe what _you_ are to me....now what time was it that we were supposed to be leaving?" 

Remus looked at Severus through still half dazed eyes. "Umm...bout an...er...hour or..so from now...why?" 

Severus swept Remus up into his arms and started to walk towards his private rooms. "Good, that gives me an hour to take you back to bed and shag you senseless..._that's_ why." he said with a sweet smile. 

"Severus Snape you are insatiable!" Remus said laughingly, though at this point he was more than willing. 

Severus only answered Remus with a long passionate kiss, and closing the door of his private rooms behind them, the classroom was silenced. And those two people for the moment tried to forget everything else going on round them in the world. For that one hour it was _their_ time. No war, no hatreds, no deaths, no evils. Only their love for each other was _all_ that mattered..... 

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

2002-05-12 1:40:58 AM 


	15. A Day In The Life Of The Muggle Tourist?

_**~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~**_

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER FIFTEEN: A Day In The Life Of The Muggle Tourist?~~~~_**

_"This is where the famous boy king Edward the Fifth age 12, and his brother Prince Richard Duke of York, age 9 were supposedly incarcerated. It is not known whether the Regent, Richard Duke of Gloucester had them imprisoned here in the Bloody Tower for their own safety, or to execute their murders, however the latter is the most common theory. The two young boys were never seen again..." _

"Let's ditch this group Sev, it's no fun when you can't really stop to chat to the residents without the muggles getting suspicious again." Remus whispered to Severus longingly. 

_"In 1647 workmen repairing a stairwell found a trunk with the skeletons of two young boys underneath a staircase in the White Tower. It's believed that they were the bones of the two princes. On further examination as of recently on the remains, it was decreed the two boys had been suffocated. Who is to blame however still remains a mystery. Now if you will follow me we will head out to that stairwell where you can see the area in which the chest was found..." _

As the Yeoman guard tour guide and the group left, noone realized that two of the group stayed behind hiding in a small nook. "Well that's much better don't you think?" Remus said happily. 

Severus nodded. "I could never stomach muggle tours. They ramble on about the most mundane things. You just _would_ have to have picked the longest tour I think in all London wouldn't you." he said slightly scowling. 

Remus sighed. "I know, but the residents here are much more exciting then the place itself after all. Those muggles just don't know what they're missing out on. I didn't think there was so much though here, I thought it was just..well...you know...a tower. How was I supposed to know it had all these places to go?" 

"Well I suppose it's not your fault, I should have said no from the start but you were so adamant on this tour." Severus said absentmindly. "Oh for Merlin's sake, _now_ what? What do you two want?" he scowled, seeing something behind Remus. 

Two young boys were staring at the two men, surprize on their faces. "Thou...canst seest us?" one of them asked. 

Remus turned and looked at the boys, and realized who Severus was talking to. "Of course we can, why shouldn't we?" he said now with a smile 

The older boy shrugged. "Nae a one dare stop to speak upon us. Ye be the first since...our deaths." 

"You must be those two the tour guide spoke of eh?" Remus said thoughtfully. "It's allright though, we won't bother you. We just got bored with the tour is all so we left them. You mean noone talks to you...ever?" he said surprized. 

"Nae." the younger boy said shaking his head. 

Remus felt sorry for these two boys, it must be very hard not to have anyone to talk to in such a tormented place as the Tower Of London. "Was it really like the tour person said how you died?" 

"Remus honestly, does it matter how they died? We can't do anything about it now can we." Severus said sullenly. It was one thing to talk to the adult ghosts they had so far seen, but the children bothered him, any child's death actually bothered him more then he would ever care to admit. 

"A man corded us sir. Six months we did cryst here hidden in a wall. Then one day a man came and took us to a room. He warned us nae to cryst out, but we were afeared. He had a rope, and next we knowst we wast here in the corridor. But I did seest us on the floor too, and the man takest us away. But yet nae away for we were still here. So I knewst then we surely had died." the older boy, King Edward said. 

Remus make a tsking sound and shook his head. "Rather bad way to die I admit. Though I think the Countess of Salisbury has got to be the worst of the lot far as how she died." 

The two boys nodded gravely, a sad look on their faces. "Thy woman ye speak of nae like us much. She doest nae have patience she speaks for us." the younger boy, Prince Richard said with a sigh. 

"So you have noone at all to even play with then, how awful. Oh Sev, can't we take them with us back to Hogwarts? Atleast they could have someone to talk to there..." Remus said to Severus. 

"Absolutely _not_ Remus. Can you just imagine what Albus would say?" Severus said in a huff. 

Remus chuckled. "Actually I think he wouldn't mind. I mean they are only children Sev, look at them their adorable, and positively lonely. Queen Anne was nice when we spoke to her, and so was Jane Grey, but honestly...the rest of them are quite boring. Sir Walter is just plain mean and those Salt Tower spirits oi! And you see the Countess doesn't even want them here...so who's going to know they left?" 

"I"m sure someone would. Those muggle tourists would, you know they're always looking for a new thing to hunt down and pick apart. It would irk the muggles to no end if they thought two well known spirits disappeared all of a sudden. It's better that they stay here ins..." Severus started but the look on Remus's face was enough to stop him midsentance. 

"Tis nae a thing to worry on sir. We hast been here this long, we willst stay." Richard said sadly. 

Severus looked from the very forlorn Remus to the two young boys and sighed. "Oh very well. I doubt you will give me a peaceful nights rest if I were to refuse. But just _these_ two Remus, _none_ of the others understood?" 

Remus eyes lit up with happiness. "Oh thank you Severus! No no, of course not the others, as if I would want _them_ at Hogwarts. But...how _are_ we going to get them back? We still have to leave here and had plans for dinner and all..." 

Severus gazed up into the air. "Honestly Remus you don't think ahead do you." he said exasperated. "They're _ghosts_ Remus, they can do whatever it is ghosts do, become invisible or whatever until we go back to the school. They'll just have to follow us around for the rest of the day that's all." 

"Hmm...that could work. Will that be a problem for you two?" Remus asked the boys 

The two boys shook their heads. "Nae sir. We canst do that. But...canst I ask how ye can speak unto us like this? Is thy place we are to go nice?" Edward said, typical of a 9 year old child. 

Remus grinned and nodded. "Very nice. It's a school actually for wizards and witches. That's why we can see and talk to you and the muggles couldn't. Muggles, that's people who can't do magic that is, only see what _they_ want to see mainly, but to _us_ ghosts are an everyday thing. There's lots and lots of ghosts at the school and I'm sure most of them you'll get on with perfectly. You'll like Sir Nicolas I think, he probably will be in charge of you to get you comfortable when we get there." 

"Sir Nicolas? Whost he be?" Richard asked. 

"Sir Nicolas De Mimsy-Porpington. He died just after the time you two did I believe." Remus said. 

A light of realization came into the cold dead eyes of the young King of England. "Oh that Sir Nicolas! We knowst him! We didst see him die out on Tower Green did nae we 

Richard." he said turning slightly to his brother who nodded. "Though..was nae a very good job I didst think. 45 times they didst strike him before he didst die." the young boy said sadly. 

"Ah, then you three should get along admirably. Though I know you're not wizards, a ghost is a ghost, and you deserve to be atleast err..happy in your ah..deaths." Remus said with a smile. 

"Remus we can do the reunions later, right now I hear footsteps of the human kind. Someone's coming so let's do depart from here shall we?" Severus said hurriedly. "You two disappear or whatever it is you do, and let's get out of here." he said. 

The two boys nodded and did disappear, and Remus and Severus quickly headed back down the staircase away from the footsteps. Luckily the tour group was just at the door they had snuck out of, and didn't even notice they had been missing. 

_"And that concludes the tour of the famous Tower of London. If you have any questions you may speak with any of the Yeoman guards at the doors. Otherwise I hope you have enjoyed your tour of one of England's most haunted buildings. Please do visit us again!"_

"Let's go." Severus whispered and maneuvered Remus to the gate to leave the tower. 

Remus looked down at the muggle watch he had brought with him and checked the time. "It's 6 o'clock. Did you want to go to Buckingham Palace or just go to dinner now luv?" he asked. 

"_No. More. Sightseeing_. Merlin forbid we encounter any _other_ poor ghosts in the palace and we'll have a bloody entourage to take back with us. _No_, dinner and then we'll go back to the castle and drop these two off and go to St. Mungo's." Severus said firmly. 

Remus sighed in defeat. "Oh all right spoilsport. I can't help it though, you know that Sev. I just can't bear to see young ghosts so obviously alone and bored." 

"You are still too much of a Gryffindor Remus, that's the problem." Severus said as they headed towards a muggle bus stop to head towards Kensington. "Do we really have to take these awful muggle contraptions? I never did trust these things." he said scowling, and stopped at the bus stop that would head them off to Paddington Station area and Kensington. 

Remus chuckled. "Honestly they aren't that bad Severus. And really unless you want to take a cab, which I highly don't recommend, then you'll just have to be happy with the bus. Are you boys allright?" he asked into the thin air. 

"Don't answer that." he said to noone in particular, getting stares from some people at the bus stop. Pulling Remus over to the side he whispered, "You can't be talking to them in public Remus. For all the time you spent in the muggle world don't you know people will think you've gone nutters if you talk to thin air?" 

"Oh, right, sorry bout that. I'm just worried for them that's all Sev. I don't want it to spoil our dinner though...." he said then something struck him. "Oh Severus! I have the perfect idea! _Come on_!" he said spying a bus just pulling up and pulled Severus onto it. 

Paying their fare Severus led Remus to the first story of the bus where there were less people. Sitting down he leaned over and whispered, "Allright, so what's this perfect idea of yours?" 

Remus grinned and whispered back, "Simple. We're going to the Leaky Cauldron." 

Severus looked at Remus puzzled. "And _that's_ your brilliant plan is it? And what do you plan on _doing_ at the Leaky Cauldron?" 

"You'll see when we get there." Remus said secretively, a slight grin on his face. 

Severus leaned back in exasperation. "I don't know how many times I'm going to say this in the future, but you are an impossible man Remus." 

"I know, and I still love knowing that you love me anyway." he grinned and gazed out over the Thames. "You know...as many times as I passed this way while living in the muggle world, I never fail to enjoy it. The setting sun is quite beautiful...don't you think?" he said leaning his head against Severus shoulder and sighing in contentment. 

Severus gazed out at the setting sun and actually agreed with his lifemate. "Not as much as you are Remus...but yes it is quite spectacular." he said softly and wrapped his arms round Remus despite getting a few looks from the few people on the upper deck. However a glare from him sent them to look elsewhere, and he was content having his Remus in his arms, the orangy sun dancing on Remus's hair turning it a reddish brown. _*If only we could just be like this forever Remus...if only the rest of the world would just let us be....* _his mind thought wistfully. 

A little while later they arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and the cool darkness inside the place was almost an anticlimax to the afternoon. A reminder that they were not muggles that could live in happiness, but wizards fighting a war, wizards on a mission as well. 

"Oi fancy seeing you here! Care for your usual Remus? Anything for you as well Professor Snape?" Tom the barkeep said jovially. 

Remus shook his head. "Another time perhaps Tom. Right now can I get some calling powder and use the back fireplace? We have to get in touch with someone at the school." he asked with a smile. 

"Of course Remus, of course! Here you go, and use the one at the far right. The one on the left is sooted up again. Networks been heavy lately with the Potters son being born. I'm sure you've allready seen the little tyke haven't you Remus since you're so close to the Potters. I hearing he's the spitting image of James. Such a lucky kid to be born to such fine upstanding people like James and Lily Potter!" Tom said showing off a broken toothed grin and handed him a jar with the powder. 

"Er...yes um..he is Tom. We'll be quick bout flooing up who we need, thanks. Shall we Severus?" Remus said fidgeting, anxious to get away from Tom and quickly. 

Severus didn't say anything but nodded, pulling Remus towards the back of the pub where they could talk undisturbed. "That man talks too much if you ask me." he said with a scowl and sat down at one of the benches. 

"It's not his fault, he's right. I should have been there when Harry was born if things had been different." he said quietly. 

Severus looked at him for a moment sharply. "It wasn't your fault Remus. It was a full moon, even Potter wouldn't have expected more from you for that. Now do what you came to do and let's get back to our evening." he said. 

Remus nodded and took a pinch of calling powder and threw it into the fireplace. "Albus Dumbledore!" he called out, and moment's later the head of Albus was in the fireplace. 

"Ah Remus, Severus. I thought you both were staying in London till later this evening?" Albus said. 

"We are...well planned on it that is but...we sort have err...ran into a little issue we need your help on Albus." Remus said nervously. Now that he was actually talking to Albus he wasn't really sure what he would think of the situation after all. 

"Oh for Merlin's sake Remus." Severus said in exasperation. "What it is Albus is that we were at the Tower of London just a bit ago, and Remus decided to play godfather for two of the _locals_." 

Albus raised an eyebrow in question. "Locals? I'm not sure I understand what you mean." 

"What Severus means is...oh...that is...I just didn't have the heart to leave them there Albus. I would have but...they looked so sad and I thought..." Remus said extremely nervous now. 

"To leave whom where Remus?" Albus said a twinkle in his eyes now. 

"Boys, you may as well show yourselves now so Albus can see you." Severus said, and seconds later the two golden haired nightshirt clad young boys were standing holding hands near the fireplace. "_Now_ can you understand Albus?" 

"Ah, I see." Albus said looking through the fire at the boys. 

"I know they're muggles Albus but honestly, the Tower was no place for them. Noone ever even speaks to them, not even the other ghosts. They're bored and so lonely. Can't you do something for them? They already know Sir Nicolas they said, I didn't know he was executed at the Tower of London, why didn't he ever say that?" Remus asked. 

Albus chuckled. "He doesn't like to mention it considering what happened. Poor man. I do think however he would appreciate the company of the two boys, perhaps they will take his mind off things." 

"But Albus, isn't it a problem if two _muggle_ ghosts were to suddenly become residents of Hogwarts? It is a _magic_ school not a _muggle_ one." Severus said. 

"Any and all ghosts are welcomed at Hogwarts Severus, however under the circumstances, it will not be a problem for these two. They are not muggles, just muggle borns." Albus said a twinkle in his eyes. 

Remus and Severus stared at Albus in surprize. "_Not_ muggles? What do you mean Albus?" Remus asked. 

"Exactly what I said Remus. Little was known to this but their mother, Lady Elizabeth Grey was a witch. She gave up practising however when she married their father, and the poor children were killed before they could be told the truth. Therefore I see no reason why they shouldn't be allowed to come to Hogwarts and take up residency." Albus said with a smile. 

"Doest that mean sir we canst go with thee to this place?" the young Edward said hopeful. 

Albus nodded at the young boy. "Of course child. Now if you will give me a moment, I will send Sir Nicolas through the fire to collect the children. I will be back shortly." he said and his head disappeared from the fire turning it back to it's natural reddish orange. 

"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be." Remus said relieved. Turning to the children he said. "I know you'll like it at Hogwarts. It will be a little different at first, but it's friendly. Just listen to whatever Sir Nicolas tells you and you won't need to be afraid any more." he said with a smile. 

"Our many thanks to ye sir. We knowest we shall enjoy this place. But what didst this man mean by our mother being a witch? Are there such things in the world?" Richard said awed. 

Remus nodded. "Oh yes, of course there is! Well...in the wizarding world anyway. Don't worry, Sir Nicolas will explain it all to you I'm sure. Ah, here's Albus again now.." Remus said noticing the fire turn green again. 

"Now boys, I want you to come over here by the fire for a moment please. There there, no need to be frightened, this won't take long...hopefully." Albus said with a smile. "Sir Nicolas are you ready then?" 

Seconds later a soft whooshing sound came from the fireplace and Sir Nicolas was floating there before everyone. "Well goodness me, I never thought I'd see the both of you again!" he said with a genuinely happy smile. 

"Tis good to see ye again as well Sir Nicolas. We hoped ye wouldst have stayed at the tower after thy death, but ye did nae." Richard said. 

"No no, I couldn't _bear_ the thought of having to spend my death with that twit Sir Walter. Trust your uncle not even to get my death right though! Oh no, everyone _else_ got a sharp axe for _their_ heads, but Richard just had to do things _his_ way. He _always_ did though, no offense lads, but you're uncle I tell you...was a nasty git from the word go...quite mad really I think..." 

"Sir Nicolas, if you wouldn't mind.." Albus said with a cough. Once you got Nick talking like this it was virtually impossible to get him to stop. "Could you just bring the boys back please. _Now_ that is." he said firmly. 

"Forgive me, of course. Well boys, I dare say you will enjoy it where we're going. Though it appears I will have to update you on the latest way of speaking. Just won't do to be speaking like you did when you died now, not at Hogwarts. Very updated you know we are, even indoor plumbing now for the living, can you imagine that!" 

"Anytime you're ready Sir Nicolas..." Remus said now giving him a verbal nudge. 

"Oh yes of course, pardon me. Come boys, now take my hands, yes that's it, one on each side. We'll just go right here into the fireplace." he said floating himself along with the two boys into the fireplace finally. "Headmaster whenever you're ready? Goodbye gentlemen, see you back at the school." he said. 

"Goodbye Sir Nicolas, boys. See you later!" Remus said with a wave, and seconds later the 3 ghosts were gone. "It was allright wasn't it Albus? They'll be allright?" 

Albus smiled and nodded at Remus. "Yes Remus, it's allright. I suppose I never really gave them much thought as it were or I probably would have done something about that sooner. Ah well, better late than never as the muggles say. Now you two go on, enjoy the rest of the evening." 

"We're going straight to St. Mungo's from London Albus, so don't bother to wait up." Severus said wryly. 

Albus chuckled. "Dear me Severus, I haven't done _that_ since my own children were young, long ago now. I have every faith that the two of you are more than capable of getting back to the castle on your own. If you did need me for anything else however, you know where to find me." 

"I assure you that we _won't_ be. I _forbid_ Remus to pick up anymore strays..atleast for today." Severus said with a light chuckle. 

Remus grinned sheepishly. "Allright allright, I get the point. Thank you again Albus, we'll see you later." he said. Albus nodded to him and with a slight pop was gone from the fireplace. 

"Well then, now that that is settled, I believe you were speaking of a place in Kensington earlier?" Severus said nonchalantly. 

Remus looked at him and nodded, a slight grin on his face. "I do believe I did Professor Snape. However, since we are here at Diagon Alley now...I also know of a quaint little spot just over by Gringotts if you would prefer wizarding cuisine rather than muggle?" 

Severus thought this over for about 5 whole seconds. "Oh no Mr. Lupin, I don't _think_ so. You promised me a cozy little italian restaurant, and that's what I expect at this point. Not to mention that wizards for the life of us, just _cannot_ make a decent lasagna, and personally I do love a good lasagna." he said with a teasing smirk. 

"Well then my dear man, since _you're_ the one that's been to Italy, you can tell me what you think of this place. As I've said since I"ve never been to Italy myself, I can't say for sure, but I'm quite partial to what they serve. And one thing I can say is...they do happen to make an _excellent_ lasagna..." Remus said with a grin. 

"Well then shall we? I"m getting quite tired of being in dark places with little atmosphere today." he said gazing round at the dark austerness of the Leaky Cauldron. 

Skillfully avoiding Tom the barkeeper this time, Severus led Remus out to the London side of the Leaky Cauldron. The sun had been down bout half an hour now, and muggle London was showing just how amazing it could be in the darkening twilight. For a moment Severus just stopped and remembered the last time he'd been out at this time of night in the muggle world. 

It had been not in Paris actually, but Egypt. Last Yule he had spent the first week of Yule with Stephan rather than the second week, and that second week he had instead gone to Egypt. The only reason for the change was the person he needed to see about a certain plant was only going to be there for a few days at the end of Yule, and he needed that particular plant for the Wolfsbane Potion. 

Though London couldn't compare to the wondrous view off the aging pyramids at Giza plateau, he had to admit that for some reason right now the first fingers of twilight were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And he knew it was because of the man beside him, who was gazing serenely into the sky. 

Severus walked behind Remus and put his arms round him, intertwining his fingers with Remus's. He still couldn't believe this man was his and his alone, that someone actually wanted him as he was, not for the pretending side of him. Remus loved him as Severus Snape, not as "Alan Brandon" as he pretended to be in Paris. The fact that Remus was a Gryffindor, and he a Slytherin no longer mattered, all that he cared bout was that Remus had chosen _him_ to lifebond with, and no other. 

His outpouring of love and affection was so strong towards Remus, that it didn't take long for those same feelings to be returned. Sighing contentedly he held Remus a little longer, not even caring that they were being slightly stared at by passerbyers. It was only a few moments that they had been out there like that together, but to Severus it could have been a lifetime, and he wholeheartedly wished it wouldn't have to end. 

"I do too love, but we should get to dinner....we still have to go to hospital later remember..." Remus said softly, voicing what Severus was feeling. 

"Reading my mind again my love?" Severus said softly into Remus's ear causing Remus to shiver a little. 

"Mmm...no...just reading your emotions love...and don't _do_ that...gods Sev...if you do that we're _never_ going to get to dinner..." he said breathlessly. 

"Oh really....and...that would...a _bad_ thing..?" Severus said kissing Remus's ear gently. 

A soft groan escaped Remus's lips before he could even respond. "Severus...stop...we're...gods...in the middle...of muggle...London..._Sev_..." Remus breathed hoarsely. 

"Hmm...yes...I _did_ notice that...but...we're _also_ still standing...outside the Leaky Cauldron...incase you forgot..." Severus said kissing Remus's neck this time. 

Remus closed his eyes and tried to keep his mind focused on dinner, however that was suddenly not becoming an option. "Im-implying...what...Severus..?" 

Placing one last kiss on Remus's neck, thrilled at the slight groan he heard coming from him, he whispered into his ear, "I think...we'll eat in Diagon Alley..after all...tonight..." he said and turning Remus round he took his hand and led him back into the Leaky Cauldron, without a single protest from his lifemate. 

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

2002-05-14 12:50:10 AM 


	16. Fire And Lightning

_**~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~**_

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Teigra - They might...though maybe just in passing never know :) And yes, Sev is quite randy yet considering he hasn't learned how to 'turn off' the lovely 'qualities' of being a werewolf yet :chuckle: I can definitely see him as more of the instigator of that then our adorable Remus...I see Remus as much more passive in this fic :P 

I will say this bout the Tower of London...this is probably one of the saddest and most traumatic places a psychic like myself could go. You can feel the 'depression' aura that surrounds it the moment you enter the main gates...and for myself who's tuned to the spirit world on a normal basis it was heartwrenching for me. The spirits within the place are real, both human and animal alike. They are trapped, some don't even know they've passed on (like the Countess of Salisbury for example) and are forced to forever in their minds reenact their deaths. 

The two boys physically do not haunt the Bloody Tower any longer. The removal and interment of their bones back in 1647 did put them at rest. However there is still very much a 'linear vibration' or what's called a 'place haunting' there. That means that their auras still do linger, crossing over the barriers of past/present/future. From what I gathered standing near where they were incarcerated they had indeed been 'walled' up for a long period of time...no less than 6 months at best. Most likely this was to keep them hidden from the other prisoners who did manage to leave the tower later on. 

The impressions I got from the 'auras' of the boys told me pretty much as I described it in the fic...the were 'corded' or 'roped' (suffocated) till they died. Though I couldn't ascertain who did it, only the image of a very large man in black/dark clothing came to mind, so it was doubtful that it was actually Richard their uncle, though I dare say the man in my vision did have his orders from him or the Duke of Suffolk as that name rang bells to me. 

The other spirits seemed at ease in a strange way. They are aware they've passed on, and have no quarrels with the living these days. However the Salts Tower I refused to enter even in broad daylight. For those who are not tuned it's quite an interesting place in daylight hours, but for myself, all I can say is I could not put one foot in the tower before I was driven back. 

Tower Green is by no means a restful place, but the aura there is less foreboding. The great men and women of history lost their heads there, and you can feel the electricity of that still in the air if you know what you're looking for. There's a proudness almost there, a defiance in the 'vibrations' that shows that apart from the Countess, almost everyone who died there died with pride and dignity. 

Anyone else who by chance has been to tower and happened to feel what I have in any part of it I'd love to know what you thought of the place. As for Sir Nicolas, I thought it ironic that he died in 1492 putting him so close to the time of the two young princes, so that's why I incorporated it into the fic. As someone with the 'Sir' title it's possible he interacted with the muggle world as well, and would have known the royals of the times. :) 

**_~~~~CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Fire And Lightning~~~~_**

"Not quite as good as Italian food, but good none the less don't you agree?" Remus said lazily while taking a drink of butterbeer. 

"Hmm? Oh yes, right. Italian." Severus said distractedly while he was gazing into his own glass of butterbeer. 

"Allright Sev, what is it. For the past ten minutes you've been like this, care to tell me why? It wasn't...anything we did..._earlier_...was it?" Remus said a bit concerned now. 

Severus looked up startled for a moment and shook his head forcefully. "Merlin no Remus, it's _not_ that. _That_ was, in a word, perfection...as usual..." he said with a small smile. "No, I suppose it's just that I'm dreading going to St. Mungo's is all. Are you _positive_ we have to really do this? I'd rather not if at all possible." he said with a sigh. 

"Yes we _do_ have to go. I'm _not_ going to let you wiggle out of this Severus, and don't _even_ try. I told James _we_ would be there tonight, and we _will_ be there. And you are obligated to pay a visit to Malfoy, though on _that_ issue you are clearly going to have to go alone." 

"And _why_ is that? If I'm forced to go with _you_, least you could do is go with _me_ to see Malfoy's kid." Severus said with a scowl. 

Remus threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Oh _honestly_ Severus, can you _really_ see Lucius Malfoy being as understanding of _our_ relationship as James and Lily might be? I'd probably get hexed into next month _if_ I make it out alive at all if I were to go with you. Think bout it Sev, you _know_ I'm right." he said firmly. 

"I"m _not_ ashamed of _you_ Remus Lupin, if that's what you're thinking." Severus muttered. 

Remus looked at Severus for a moment with an odd expression. "Nor am I of you Severus, but Lucius Malfoy is _not_ a man I want to cross wands with. He is an evil, corrupted bastard and we _both_ know that he most likely would be able to know I've been using dark magic in a moment's time. And I have enough marks on my body at this point that I don't relish being forced into one more." 

Severus sighed and agreed. "True. Lucius is so steeped in the dark arts he would know in a heartbeat if there was a dark aura round you that wasn't there before. I just hope he can't detect werewolf blood or my life isn't going to be worth much I'd wager. The werebeasts still refuse to join Voldemort, so he's not exactly happy with them at the moment." 

"I see. So what he can't have he just simply destroys. Lovely." Remus said with a grimace. "Don't worry, I _highly_ doubt Lucius could sense the wolf blood Sev, it's only scentable by other werebeasts and the dark creatures, not humans far as I know. Humans don't have the capabilities _we_ do." 

"Well that's a relief anyway, though I wouldn't put anything past Lucius. We should get going though it's 9:50. Are we going to floo to Hogsmeade first and apparate from there or just apparate from here?" Severus said motioning for the bill. 

"Umm, from here should be good enough. Doesn't make sense not to apparate, I'm in no mood to deal with the floo network tonight." Remus said with a slight yawn. "Still owe me a good Italian dinner you know Severus." 

Severus counted out the correct amount of galleons and sickles for the meal and dropped them on the table. "And believe me I plan on making sure we do that over the next month. However _no_ more sightseeing trips that involve any ghosts of any kind, I'm warning you on this Remus." he said half teasingly. 

"Yes yes I know. I _promise_ to behave myself next time." Remus said in a way that told Severus he meant exactly the opposite. 

"What am I going to do with you eh?" Severus said with a faked drawn out sigh. "Come on then let's get this over with and get back to school. If you want the truth I'm positively worn out tonight." he said stifling back a yawn. 

Remus nodded. "I am too actually. All that walking round London and the Tower.... And here I thought Hogwarts was big." he said with a chuckle. "We'll apparate from the side alley to the back door, it'll be easier." 

Severus nodded and they left the small restaurant heading towards the alley. "Ready then?" he asked. 

Remus nodded and within seconds both of them were outside the back door steps of St. Mungo's hospital. James was allready waiting for them on the steps, a smile on his face. "Oi, was wondring if you two were going to come or not. Come on, let's get inside." he said. "Albus said you two had quite a day, care to fill me in?" 

Remus groaned. "He allready told you bout that? Typical of him." he said, then explained to James what had been the basics of the day starting with Sirius's classroom visit, to ending up at the restaurant. The only thing he completely avoided was where they had spent nearly 3 hours inbetween, some things even your friends just didn't need to know. 

"Well that about covers our day James. We had dinner at the Warring Wizard and came straight here to see you." Remus said. 

James was fascinated with muggle things being married to a muggleborn, and he always had regretted that he and Lily rarely left the wizarding world these days. He asked tons of questions bout muggle London, the Tower, and was over the moon even to know that they had taken muggle transportation. "Is it anything like Sirius's motorbike? He told me Black Beauty should be up and running again this week, you going for a spin Remy?" he asked. 

"Hope so, he said he would anyway. So James tell me the truth, are you put off by this happening with Malfoy or what?" Remus asked hesitantly. 

James looked at Remus sharply a second then shrugged. "What can you do? Don't worry, it hasn't dampened _our_ spirits I can tell you that. Lily's parents came by earlier, hard to get rid of those two...Petunia of course didn't, her and that git of a husband of hers. From what I gather she's also due to have a baby soon, can you imagine what kind of horror that kid'll be when it grows up!" he said with a laugh. 

Remus grinned. "Not sure I _want_ to imagine that. I"m just glad you're taking everything in stride though. I was surprized to hear bout the Malfoy's I have to admit, but I'm glad it's not affecting you and Lily." 

"Nah, come on Remy, like that would bother _us_ eh? Besides I've seen their kid, and I have got to say Harry is by far much more adorable...oh here we go here's the room, now you can see for yourself!" he said grinning and walking into a large room. 

"Jamie? That you?" a woman's voice called out softly. 

"Yes, it's me love. Remus and err...Sn-Severus are here...to see you and Harry..." James said quietly. 

"Well come in then, no need to linger in the doorway Remy! Just do try and be quiet I just got him to sleep finally." Lily said softly. 

Remus and Severus walked quietly into the room, though Severus kept well behind Remus. Remus walked over to Lily and gave her a kiss on the cheek and quick hug. "Congrats Lily, though I'm still having trouble picturing you as a mum...let alone James as a father!" he said with a quiet laugh. 

Lily grinned. "Oh you!" she said swatting him lightly. "Still, hard to believe it myself I guess. Severus...are you going to linger in the doorway like an overgrown bat or are you going to come in and say hello?" Lily said turning to the doorway with a slight frown on her face. 

Severus was bout to bit back a remark, but thanks to forewarning from Remus and James earlier, he knew not to antagonize her. "Er..hello...Po..er...Lily." 

Lily looked at him sharply for a moment, then turned back to Remus. "So Jamie tells me that you two are an item now hmm?" she said. 

"Lily...." James began but was cut off. 

"No James, I think Remy is old enough now to speak for himself. Don't _you_ Remus? Is it true then? You've left Sirius for good?" she said leveling her gaze on Remus now. 

Remus stiffened and settled a cool gaze on his friend. Lily was the force behind the Potter's, if he couldn't win her over he knew he would have no chance at James ever understanding and believe in him again. "Yes Lily I have. And no, we are not an _item_ as you put it." he said carefully. 

"Oh then his being here is just for show I take it? Or was James lying to me earlier?" she said back coolly. 

"I didn't say he was lying to you Lily. It's just that circumstances have changed since I saw James last night." Remus said keeping his voice level, though inside he was squirming with nervousness. 

"And what does that bloody well mean Remus? Stop beating round the bush and just say what you mean allready!" Lily said in a huff. 

Remus shook his head and his nerves untensed. Hearing Lily like this was just too much for him to stay nervous. "You have no idea how much I've missed the both of you, do you Lils." he said with a sigh. "But in answer to your question...we're bonded Lily...we're lifemates now." he said giving Lily a hesitant glance. 

Lily looked at Remus a moment almost in disbelief until his words finally and truely sunk in. Glancing at Severus, then back to Remus she could see how much this was hurting her friend, how much he desperately needed to know what she thought of all this. Her eyes softened back to a pleasant green shade rather then the dark swirling emerald it had been, and she smiled. "Oh Remy, we've missed you too. And...if that's what you wanted, then it's your choice. You can't choose who you fall in love with I guess...take it from _me_!" she said laughing now and gave James a mischievous grin. 

"Oi! I resent that! If you think _I_ wanted to be saddled to a fiery redheaded vixen for the rest of my life you've got another thing coming you know!" James said mockingly. 

"Merlin it's good to hear you two still at it." Remus laughed. "All the times you two fought back at school, it's like stepping back in time. How you two ever got married is beyond me." he said grinning. 

"Like I had much of a choice eh Remy? She literally _forced_ me down the isle!" James said grinning. 

"I did no such thing James Potter! I merely _informed_ you that if you _didn't_ walk down that isle you would live to regret it that's all." Lily said grinning. "As far as you're concerned Remus...though I am surprized at how the fates did their work, I can tell your happy with him. And you Severus? Are you happy with Remus?" she said turning to Severus now a weary look in her eyes. 

Severus stepped back not in fear of this woman he remembered as being adept in hexes and charms, but in awe of how easily she switch emotions like she could. "Err...yes. Of course I am. Wh-why wouldn't I be?" he said. 

"Mmm right. I want to trust you, Merlin knows why, but in a way I do. Before I can though you have to promise me something Severus Snape, something very important to me." she said slowly. 

"What is it you want of me?" Severus asked puzzled. 

Lily looked at him for a moment before choosing her words carefully. "I want you to promise me that no matter _what_ happens, you will take care of Remus. Right now he's very confused and doesn't know what he needs to do, and I think you're the only one that _can_ help him. And I'm warning you now Severus, if you think dealing with Sirius wasn't easy, that's _nothing_ to what _I'll _do to you if you hurt him ever." 

Severus swallowed quickly and nodded to her. "You have my word on that. And...if you'll allow me this, for Harry in the future as well. I know things are dangerous out there right now, and I swear to you and Po-James...I will do what I can to protect young Harry whenever I can. If you'll let me." 

Lily and James looked at each other for a second, then Lily turned back to Severus. "Thank you Severus. Should the time come I hope you will keep to that." she said to him with a slight nod. Then as quick as lightning her mood changed and she was smiling again. "Now I do think it's time to show you both what everyone's been fussing over, don't you think Jamie?" 

"Sure Lils." James said and walked over to a small bassinet just to the side of the bed Lily was in. "Thank Merlin he's a heavy sleeper right now..." he said with a grimace. 

"Stop fussing Jamie, he's just as cute awake as asleep and you know it. Ah now here's my boy, come here to mummy, that's right..." Lily said taking a tiny blue blanket bundle into her arms and cooing over it. A small cry issued from the blankets alerting everyone that the baby was awake again, though atleast not crying, actually it was cooing back at Lily. "Remy come here...." she said quietly now. 

Remus stepped closer to the bed and leaned over, and with some instructions from Lily on how to hold him, found himself with young Harry in his arms. Gazing down softly into the blankets he could see why everyone was indeed fawning over Harry. He was wondrful. Everything from his unruly mop of black hair to his chin was James, but he had the most entrancing green emerald eyes, just like his mum. 

"Oh Lily...he's...he's simply perfect..." Remus half whispered and smiled down at the tiny Harry, who was looking at him now with wide eyes. "There there Harry, I'm Remus...and I hope we'll be good friends one day...." he said softly to the baby. 

After a few more minutes of holding Harry, Remus gave him back to Lily. "Severus? You're turn." Lily said firmly, though not without protest from Severus. 

"Oh no, that's...that's allright..I mean..I never was very good with...er...babies...err.." he stammered but a look from Lily stopped him in his tracks. "Um..of course..Lily...if you want...I'll be more than..er..happy to hold him...that is.." he said stepping closer to the bed and holding out his arms. 

"Now make sure to hold his head up...yes that's right...goodness Severus he's _not_ going to break trust me. You _can_ hold him a bit tighter. _There_ you go, see it's not _that_ hard!" she said with a grin. 

Severus felt awkward holding the young Harry but the moment he looked down into the bundled blankets he was entranced. "Oh..." he said softly and blinked. Harry was looking up at him almost as if he was trying to analyze this new stranger. After a moment though Harry seemed content he was allright, and allowed himself to snuggle back into the blankets with a soft coo, and Severus's heart melted. 

"Never thought I'd see the day you'd be holding one of _my_ children Sna...er...Severus. Seems though Harry's taken a liking to you...maybe there's more to you then I thought." James said softly despite the harshness it seemed of the words. 

Severus didn't even respond to James's offhanded comment, he was still looking down at the baby. "I...I've never held a baby before...their so soft and warm....I was an only child you know...and..." he said softly. 

"It's allright Severus, I understand." Lily said gently and looked over at the two of them. "Well now will you look at that, Harry actually fell asleep in _your_ arms! Jamie can you believe it?" she said stunned. 

James looked at Severus a moment wondringly, and went over to take his son back. Looking down at the sleeping bundle he shook his head in amazement. "You're right, he's fast asleep. I can't believe it." he said quietly and went over to put baby Harry back into his bassinet. 

Severus was a bit concerned, "Is that bad?" he asked puzzled. 

Lily looked up at him, her green eyes dancing with mirth. "Merlin no Severus, not at all! It's just you see...since he's born...he won't even fall sleep for Jamie. Other then myself, you're the _only_ person he's actually fallen sleep with. You must be alot more then you appear Severus Snape to do that...he must trust you allready..." she said thoughtfully. 

Severus actually felt himself slightly blush, which was annoying since this was something though he'd been doing round Remus lately, he hadn't ever done in public. And to find himself blushing infront of the Potter's just made things worse. Yet at the same time, he felt well...honoured. 

Remus sensed the confusement coming from his mate and tried to lighten the situation for him. "Well, just goes to prove you can't judge a book by it's cover Lily." he said with a chuckle. "I can see though why everyone's going nutters over him, he's precious....but....James?" he asked turning to his friend. 

"Yeah Remus? What's up?" James asked. 

"I don't need to ask really I'm sure but...you've taken certain ah..precautions?" Remus said giving James a strange look. 

James was a bit surprized at what Remus was meaning. "I...I don't know what you mean Remus...Lily and I have put up warding spells but..." 

"No, that's _not_ what I mean..." Remus said cutting him off. Giving James another strange look, he said, "I think it's time you and me had a little talk James...just us if that's allright. Over there in the corner will do..." Remus said stepping towards a corner far enough away from the bed so they wouldn't be overheard, James following him puzzled. 

"That's odd, wonder what Remus has to tell him..." Lily said thoughtfully. 

Severus didn't say anything but he had a good idea what Remus was probably going to tell James. If he was any judge of Remus by now, and he liked to think he was, he suspected Remus was telling James that he knew pretty much everything. And from the stunned look on James's face now, and the slight back and forth glances from Severus to Lily from both men, he knew he was right in his assumptions. 

"We would have told you sooner James, but we didn't really think it was our business. That is till now. I'm worried, especially with Malfoy being here in the same building as you, Lily and Harry. You never know who's lurking round the corners James and you know it. If Voldemort ever figures out the truth..." Remus began. 

"Allright Remus enough. I get the point. Not just because I"m a Gryffindor, but because I'm an auror, I know all too well that Voldemort would have my head in a moment if I were to blink wrong. I've allready used what protections I could while we're here, and when we get back to Godric's Hollow I intend to put up more round him. Does that meet with _you're_ approval Remus?" James said sulkily. 

Remus sighed. "James I'm _not_ trying to be a git here, you _know_ that. I"m concerned for all of you that's all. I can't be his godfather so atleast let me have my worries allright?" he said softly. 

James looked at Remus carefully for a moment then nodded with a slight smile. "Allright Remus, you win. I promise you I'm taking care of it, and by Godric I will. I'll use whatever Gryffindor family powers I have in me to protect my son, on _that_ you can be certain. Which reminds me...the marauder's have struck again Moony..." he said with an all out grin now, the same grin Remus remembered all too well when James was scheming back in school. 

"Oh? And how so? What have we done this time hmm?" Remus said with amusement. 

"Remember I told you that I'd seen Malfoy's kid? Well....let's just say I went there for a reason...." James said grinning evilly. 

"Oi James, what did you do now?" Remus said grinning back. 

"Oh nothing really...just that on that kids 16th birthday...poor Lucius is going to be in for quite a shock, that's all...." James said airily. 

Remus raised an eyebrow towards James questioningly. "Prooongs....spill it...what _did_ you do?" 

James laughed and shook his head. "Let's just say I"ll be anxiously awaiting to see the results in 16 years from now Moony....and I'm _not_ going to say another word..." he said. 

Remus groaned. "You're impossible Prongs! 16 years from now? I'll be waiting myself to see what you've done....I will still be here right James? You know what I mean..." he said glancing at Severus now. 

James thoughtfully looked at his friend for a moment then nodded. "I"ve really missed you round Remus, and I don't think I _could_ bear it if you were to walk away from Lily, me and Harry. Not _now_ especially, not with everything that's going on in the world today. We need you..._I_ need you...as my friend Remus. Because when it comes down to it, if you can't believe in and trust your _own_ friends...who _can_ you trust right? Even if that means your friends _are_ shagging greasy haired potions masters..." he said with a playful grin. 

Remus laughed and nodded. "He's really not that bad when you get to know him James, honestly he isn't. And by the way...a little secret of my own actually..." Remus said and leaned in to whisper something in James's ear which caused him to turn and stare at Severus for a moment. 

"So _that's _it! _Nifty_! Well...have we settled everything then? Still feels strange knowing he's on our side but...I guess I'll get used to it. Now come on, let's get back over to there before they think we abandoned them." James said. 

"James if you were to _ever_ try and abandon Lily I think I'd rather join Voldemort for what she'd do to you!" Remus said laughing and getting promptly smacked for the efforts. 

"I do believe Moony you're 100% right on that! Hell _I'd_ join Voldemort before I'd get her that angry at me again!" James said laughing back. 

"Well now, everything settled between you two?" Lily said wearily keeping an eye on both men as they came back over to the bed. 

"Yes luv, everything's fine now. Oh err...Severus?" James said hesitantly. 

"Yes?" Severus said. 

"Don't you think you should go see Malfoy now before it's too late? I think he's still here somewhere skulking round." James said nonchalantly. 

Severus gave James a sharp glare and muttered an oath under his breath. "You would remember that wouldn't you." he said scowling. 

"Stop procrastinating and just go see him allready Sev so we can go home." Remus said pushing Severus towards the door. "Now go on before I drag you there myself..." he said putting his hands on his hips and giving Severus a slight glare. 

Severus glared back briefly then turned on his heels with another muttered oath and headed out the door. "I'll be back in 5 minutes Remus, be ready to leave." was all he said as he left. 

Remus shook his head and sigh in exasperation. "He _can_ be impossible sometimes." he said turning back to Lily and James. "You should have seen him at the Tower today honestly. You'd have thought he was one of the ghosts rather than one of the tourists. Between the sunglasses he wore, the black clothing, his paleness and the way he was so cold to everyone...cripes he'd have made a good executioner at that.." Remus said with a grimace. 

James and Lily chuckled. "I can see that actually. He does need more sun but then if I remember Severus never did like going outdoors much. Too much time spent in the dungeons I'd wager. I bet he's never once left the school in 6 years he's been there." Lily said thoughtfully. 

Remus wasn't going to tell Lily that he had known for certain Severus did indeed go out of the school, nor would he ever admit to them the clothing he'd found in Severus wardrobe. From what he had found it was more than obvious Severus had very much enjoyed an 'outside' life from the school, though it was still something Severus hadn't yet, or might never, let him know bout. He'd felt a bit jealous at who Severus had worn those muggle clothes for, obviously it was someone who meant alot to him, but knowing Severus was his now did ease the pangs of jealousy just enough to be tolerable. 

"Well...er...I wouldn't go so far as to say he's _never_ left the school Lils, but...umm...it doesn't matter." he said quietly. "So James, tell me...what's Malfoy's kid like anyway?" 

James shrugged. "Not much really. Looks exactly like a Malfoy I guess. Though his hairs a bit more silvery then his father's is, must come from his mother's side. But you can tell he's all veela, and has the strangest temper I've ever seen on a baby. And he's got grey eyes just like his father, only...." he said thoughtfully. 

"Only what Prongs?" Remus asked. 

"Only that...well....I know this going to sound strange but...there's something in them I just don't get. It reminds me alot of....of Harry." James said quietly. 

"What do you mean by that?" Remus asked puzzled. 

James shrugged again. "I can't put my finger on it Moony, but I'll tell you this...if I were to say he's pure Slytherin, I wouldn't be lying. But there's something else...more than that...and it's not wholly Slytherin....." 

"Not sure what you mean James?" Remus said still confused. 

James sighed. "I suppose what I mean is...while Harry reminds me of a lightning bolt...proud, fearless, pure energy and emotion....young Draco reminds me of fire...dangerous....capable of mass destruction perhaps...yet...needed. A light at the end of a very long tunnel....call it a hope even if you want..." 

"Oh...I see. I think I do understand Prongs. You think Draco can break free of what it is to be a Malfoy though? Do you think he'll have the strength to fight his own father if need be?" Remus asked. 

James gave Remus a slight smile and nodded. "He will now Moony...he will now. And no, don't ask me more because I told you allready...you'll have to wait like all of us will. But...when the time comes...enemies can become so much more...you and Severus are proof of that I'd say...." 

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "I have a feeling Prongs...it's going to be a very very long 16 years isn't it..." he said. 

James grinned. "Nah...what's 16 years to a wizard eh Moony? It'll go by so fast you wont even want to blink!" he said and putting his arm round Remus's shoulder the three adults caught up on old times and new. And the hope for the future rested quietly in his bassinet, content and happy in knowing he was loved and cared for and would always be so. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-15 2:20:28 PM 


	17. Time Flies When You're Having Fun?

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Illk - :cowers: yahh! remind me not to get you angry at me again :P Don't worry so hun, all will be revealed before the fics done promise! :) 

**_~~~~CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Time Flies When You're Having Fun?~~~~_**

Nearly a month had now passed since Severus and Remus had returned from St. Mungo's. Severus had actually taken nearly 10 minutes before he'd returned from visiting the Malfoy's, and when Remus had questioned him later that night on the visit, all Severus seemed to do was scowl. Far as Severus was concerned, the kid was pure veela and pure Malfoy, which by any standards meant bad news. 

Remus didn't push the issue either, nor did he reveal to Severus that James had done something to the baby Draco. Mainly because he himself didn't know what it was and he didn't want Severus to think James had pulled something awful on the kid. Remus was sure though that whatever James had done to Draco wasn't bad, so he pressed it to the back of his mind and forgot bout it until the time would come. 

Severus and Remus ended up going into muggle London not more than a few days after that night to finally get that Italian dinner. Severus admitted the food was quite good, but convincing Remus to try some 'real' Italian food, he talked to Albus and presented Remus with a surprize one afternoon. 

Severus took Remus down to the floo network in Hogsmeade, told him only the name of a pub grate he'd never heard of, and to wait when he arrived. When they stepped outside of the small dimly lit wizard pub, Remus realized exactly where they were, and his heart was singing. It was the city of Venice. 

With it's visions of love, it's bridges and waterways, gondoliers singing gently on the wind, it was a paradise. They spent the day walking through the piazzas, and they had dinner in a lovely little restaurant where Remus had to admit did have the best tasting lasagna he'd ever eaten. Remus also found out that Severus had no plans even to go back to Hogsmeade or the school that night, instead they spent a quite evening in a small muggle hotel in south Venice, and things couldn't be going more perfectly they thought. 

However reality started to seep in. Just after getting back from Venice Severus got summoned to a deatheaters meeting. He was afraid, but with the help of the Order he took up his courage and attended. When he returned it was a palefaced Remus and a pacing James and Sirius that met him in Albus's office. They had of course waited for him to return, Remus on pins and needles with worry. 

Thankfully nothing major had come of the meeting to Severus's relief. Mainly it was nothing more or less than Albus and the others already knew....that Voldemort was announcing the birth of young Draco Malfoy to the fold, and that he would grow up as part of the next generation of deatheaters. A glint in James's eyes however at that information seemed to make Remus uneasy, and again he had to resist the urge to find out just what James had done. But knowing his friend like he did, if James didn't want to say anything, he wouldn't. 

Other than that Severus and Remus occupied themselves with various other things. They began working again on the potion a week before the full moon, both confident that it would work this time. As the full moon got closer as well Severus couldn't believe how much the lunar phase did seem to affect werewolves...and now that included himself. He was having a devil of time adjusting actually the closer the moon got, not having near the experience yet in being able to control himself like Remus did. 

Their lovemaking became not just passionate but almost like a duel of wills. Between their growing strength coming to the surface, their needs intensified to the point of pain. Severus found that not only did they have to brew the Wolfsbane as the moon got closer, but another cauldronfull of Curacion Potion, not to mention they had to use a heck of a lot of healing spells during that week before the moon. 

Even the returning staff noticed the tensions in these two men, though they were thinking it was on different reasons. It got to the point where Severus and Remus didn't even dare look at each other over meals, for they both knew if they did they wouldn't be able to control their urges for each other. And neither of them had any desire to start having sex right there in the Great Hall. So either they ignored each other fully, or they didn't bother to show up at all to meals, usually the latter won out. 

The night before the full moon as they lay together in what Severus had began to think of as 'their' bed, he told Remus he was going to go with him to the Shack after all. As a human though, not as a wolf. And this scared the hell out of Remus. He didn't like it at all, he was afraid for Severus, but Severus remind him that he always got his way, and nothing Remus could say would stop him. 

Severus argued that there really was no more danger since he could no longer be turned into a full werewolf anyway now since the binding. And even Remus had to agree on that and finally accepted that he was not going to be afraid of Severus's being there. He knew it was going to be difficult actually for him to physically be there right at that crucial moment, but he knew if he was going to love Remus in entirety, this was one obstacle he had to overcome. 

Now it was the night of the full moon, and moonrise was only a scant few minutes away. They both headed out to the shack, each of them deep within their own thoughts. When they got there Remus got himself undressed and started to pace. Despite promising Severus he wouldn't be nervous, Remus was anyway. And Severus knew it. 

"Remus _stop_ it. _Nothing_ is going to go wrong you git. You've been taking the potion everyday this week, and I _know_ it's going to work this time." Severus said scowling at his mate. 

"I know...it's just that....promise me that if anything goes wrong you'll leave _immediately_ Sev...I _don't_ want to hurt you..." Remus said in a pleading voice. 

"I will make no such promise. I will _not_ leave you alone, whether it's as a man or a wolf. Now sit down you're going to transform any second and you're pacing is making me nutters." Severus said with a glare. 

Remus muttered but did sit down on the floor next to Severus, and just in time it seemed. Within the next few seconds the familiar pain began to flood through him, and he let out a scream of pure agony. Not more than a minute later, the werewolf was the one howling as the last remnants of the pain began to ebb away. 

Severus was now the one who was scared, no question there. Being round Remus when he was just coming out of a transformation was one thing, but this....this brought back a flood of bad memories. _*Don't panic...just don't panic. Don't be afraid...it's only Remus...if you show him fear...well just don't show fear...that's right Severus...breath and calm down...you've nothing to fear from him anymore...he's your lifemate...you love him...keep only those thoughts right now...*_ Severus's mind said soothingly. 

Thankfully for Severus it worked, and that wasn't the only thing working. The werewolf had growled slightly at first at seeing Severus invading it's territory, but the calming of Severus's fears made the werewolf only puzzled. Atleast it wasn't attacking, which was a good sign. The werewolf eyed Severus wearily, unsure of this stranger but then something extraordinary happened, and Severus couldn't have been happier. 

The werewolf came over and sniffed at Severus, and a light of recognition came into it's yellowed eyes. Gently it licked Severus's fingers, and with a growl of actual contentment, it curled up next to Severus, putting it's head into his lap. Severus felt the strong emotions coming from the werewolf, and it put a soft smile on his face. He could hardly believe it when he knew it really was Remus now inside the beast, and not a cold blooded killer. If it had been, he wouldn't be feeling the love and affections he was now, for only Remus would have done that. 

A movement from Remus caused Severus to jump, not from fear but from what the werewolf was doing. "Oh _no_! You stop that right _now_ Remus Lupin! Don't _even_ try that!" he said firmly, pushing the werewolf's muzzle away from the certain area that the werewolf was nuzzling. 

The werewolf gave off a small whine that was more a pout than anything else, but he did turn his muzzle away and just rested his head on Severus's knees instead. Severus put his hand on Remus's back and began to stroke his fur, amazed at how soft it actually was. About halfway after midnight though the werewolf got a bit restless, and getting up looked longingly at the trap door, then back at Severus. 

"Oh I see, you're bored is that it? You want to go out?" Severus said with a slight grin. 

The werewolf nodded and pawed the trapdoor, a pleading look in it's eyes. "Oh allright, I suppose we _could_ go out...only for a bit though mind you. When I say we have to come back, we come back got it?" Severus said firmly while pointing his finger towards the werewolf. "Now, stand back and wait until I'm ready." 

The werewolf padded over to the other side of the room as asked and waited while Severus opened the trapdoor and transformed. Moments later the two wolves were happily careening round the Forbidden Forest without a care in the world. Remus yet again astounded Severus with his knowledge of the grounds they were travelling on, and Severus had a tiny pang of regret that they hadn't gone out sooner then they had. 

Time seemed to fly and before Severus even realized it his internal alarms went off signalling the break of dawn. He was thrilled when Remus didn't need urging to go back, that was even more proof that the potion was working and Remus was for the most part, the one in control of the werewolf. They hadn't 'talked' much in their respected forms this time, only a few phrases like 'Let's go here!" and "Come On!" was all that they really needed to think at each other. 

When they finally found themselves coming back through the trapdoor of the shack it was again just in time. As soon as Severus retransformed from his wolf form and closed the trapdoor Remus himself retransformed. Severus was at his side in seconds, checking him over to make sure he was allright. They both had been pretty wild out there tonight and both men sported a few cuts and bruises, but over all nothing major. Even as Severus was checking Remus over he could see pretty much everything beginning to heal now that he was back in human form. 

Checking himself over he saw the same healing process, so he didn't give it another thought. He redressed Remus with a spell and reopened the trapdoor. Gathering Remus in his arms, he went back out to the tunnel and out of the whomping willow. Unfortunately Poppy Pomfrey was allready waiting for them both, and she didn't look too happy. 

"About time, sunrise was 10 minutes ago. Now _don't _give me that look Severus Snape I am _not_ going to ask you to bring him to Hospital Wing. I just wanted to make sure you both were allright that's all. I _know_ you're taking good care of him afterwards, but I refuse _not_ to be concerned. Considering you two haven't barely been seen this week I wasn't even sure you would be here." she said in firm voice. 

Severus scowled but nodded at her, not wanting to cause a scene at the moment. "For reason I will not explain to you Madam there was due cause _not_ to appear most of this week." Severus said huffily. "Now if you'll excuse me I'll take Remus back to our room now. Good day." he said and promptly walked away before she could answer. 

Yet again Poppy looked after the retreating form of Severus shaking her head. She hadn't missed the words 'our room' from his mouth, and suddenly a lot began to click into place. Though this week they had seemed quite out of sorts with each other during meals, and the tension was enough to be noticeable between them, she began to realize it wasn't because of uncomfortableness with each other, but something far more. 

As she started to walk back to the castle she stopped midstep and realization dawned on her. A slow smile spread acrost her face as she now remembered something she'd seen on Severus not that long ago. She knew Remus and Severus had grown close since he began his stay at the castle, she had no problem even with the fact they were probably even lovers at this point. 

However, if she suspected correctly now, what was now going on between them was far beyond simple lovemaking. Far beyond even just simple love. With a new lilt in her step and a whistle on her lips she strode towards the castle, Albus Dumbledore's office as her destination. She thought it was time the two of them had just a little chat about the school's potion master, and the lost duckling that was Remus Lupin. 

Back in their room Severus had allready put Remus back into the bed, changing him into one of his own silk pyjamas, the red ones he knew Remus had grown attached to now. After making sure he had a vial of Curacion Potion nearby, he headed off to take a quick shower. When he got done he put on his black silk pyjama's and slipped into the bed next to Remus, drawing him tightly into his arms. With a soft kiss on his lifemate's cheek, he himself drifted off to sleep. 

It was dinnertime before either of the two men began to stir. Severus was the first one to really wake up however, and reached over for the vial of potion. Uncorking it he drank a small sip himself, then made sure Remus took the rest of it. He put the vial back on the dresser and snuggled back into bed, pulling Remus back into his arms again with a contented sigh. 

"You're allright love?" he asked Remus softly while brushing aside a lock of his hair from his eyes. 

"Mm...I am now love....have I said how spot on that potion of yours is?" Remus said back just as softly and slightly yawned and stretched a little, brushing his body up against Severus's lightly. 

"Mmm, yes I believe you have...." Severus said absentmindedly, breathing in deeply the scents that were mingling in the air. It was an earthy smell that came to him, from their nighttime excursion. It was sweet with the scent of green leaves and sweetened grass that mingled with his own scents from when he had showered earlier. And he loved it. 

"Oh...you've allready showered....I can smell the vanilla and patchuli oil...." he said almost with a pout. 

"I did....but....I can always...take _another_ one if you want..." Severus said with a small grin, the implications thick in the air. Now that his body was waking up his wolf scent wasn't the only thing working on the lunar phase. 

"I think..." Remus said softly and leaned in brushing his lips on Severus's, "that would be...a wondrful...idea..." he said a bit breathlessly. 

Severus gave a small growl, unable to control himself any longer. Remus's scent was too tantilizing to him, and the brush of his lips drove him over the edge. The shower was forgotten for the moment as their needs warranted filling. The only thing on their minds at the moment was the echos of their growls and moans, and the heated words of passion that accompanied them. 

Several hours later, after spending themselves for the moment, they finally did manage to get into the shower. It was Remus who first realized though just how late it actually was. Walking back into the room from the bathroom, he was still drying his hair off when he said, "You know we missed all three meals today Sev. You think we could do a kitchen raid?" he said hopefully. 

Severus laughed and nodded. "We could, though wouldn't it just be easier to just send for some food by house-elf?" 

Remus grinned. "Yeah, it would be...but...it's way more fun to get it for yourself. I used to love raiding the kitchen back in my school days. Oh come on Sev, it'll be fun. We can feel just like kids again!" he said with a chuckle. 

Severus rolled his eyes and shook his head. "_You_ can feel like a kid again, personally I wouldn't _want_ to. I _hated_ my childhood thank you, and have _no_ wish to _ever_ repeat it again." 

Remus laughed. "Not that you've told me much bout your childhood Sev so far, but I can understand that from what you _have_ told me. One day though I wish you _would_ tell me everything....and not just your childhood." he said thoughtfully now. 

Severus looked at his lifemate sharply for a moment, though not really in anger but in a small way...fear. He was actually afraid to tell Remus things, though suddenly he really wasn't sure why. "Everything? Do you....do you mean that Remus? You really _want_ to know what it was like for me? Not just my childhood...but..._everything_ before us?" he asked quite seriously. 

Remus looked deep into Severus's black eyes and nodded. "Yes Sev, _everything_. We're lifemates now, we _shouldn't_ have secrets from each other. Face it Sev, school term starts next week, and you know I can't be here when it does. I want to know _you_...everything bout you...so I have something to remember when I'm off in gods know where next. And I...I want you to know everything bout _me_ too Sev. Not just what I've told you so far but everything _else_..." 

Severus didn't really know what to respond to this request. He was so afraid to tell Remus the truth, what he had been, what he had done...and especially what he had been in Paris with Stephan. Not that long ago he had briefly thought bout Stephan, and the more he had the more he'd realized that if truth be told, he finally came to terms with the fact that he was nothing more than one of the boys of Stephan's designs and under Stephan's rules. 

Stephan had always picked out everything, from his clothes to his lovers, giving him expensive presents, showing him off as his 'boy', and in reality, that was nothing more then being a paid male whore. And that in itself made Severus fear most of what Remus would think of him. He didn't want Remus turning from him in disgust at what he'd allowed himself to become, even if till now he hadn't realized that was all he had been back then. But the look in Remus's eyes was too much for him, and with a sigh he nodded his head. 

"Allright Remus, I'll tell you...but I warn you now...what you'll hear...it's...I'm _not_ proud of...and I'm _not_ talking bout being a deatheater because that would be actually easy to talk about compared to _some_ things..." Severus said nervously. 

Remus could hear the anxiety in Severus's voice, and knew he was worried. Walking over to him he took Severus's chin in his hand and said in a soft voice, "Severus Snape listen to me. I promise you on everything I hold holy that I will _never_ think less of you...I didn't walk away from you when I found out you were a deatheater....and no matter you tell me next I _still_ won't. You're my lifemate, I love you...and I _always_ will..." 

Severus couldn't even respond, he just swept Remus into his arms and gave him a tight hug. He let his body talk for him, pouring out his love and feelings for Remus, along with his fears and hopes. And Remus understood it all, and returned it in kind. 

Breaking apart the hug after a few moments, Remus said, "Come on Sev, let's get some food...it's always better to talk on a full stomach don't you think?" he said with a small smile, easing the tensions. 

Severus smiled back and nodded, relieved that for the moment he'd have a reprieve from telling Remus the truth. "Yes you're right. Let's go find that pear then shall we?" 

Half an hour later, arms laden with all sorts of dishes from the helpful house-elves in the kitchen, they were halfway back to the dungeons when they got stopped by Albus. "Ah, just the two people I needed to see." he said though he didn't have his traditional smile, nor the twinkle in his eyes. 

"Err..Albus...couldn't this wait an hour or so? We haven't quite had our dinner yet..." Remus began but a wave of Albus's hand cut him off. 

"No no I'm afraid it won't. I need the both of you to come to my office right now if you would please. You can have your meal there, but it is very important." he said firmly, and with that swept off towards his offices. 

Severus scowled. "Typical. Just like McGonagall, he always knows when people don't wish to be bothered." 

"Right now I"m inclined to believe that myself." Remus said with a mutter, but in the end they did head themselves over to Albus's office. 

The said the password for the day which was "Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" and headed up the spiral staircase to the main office. They were surprized however that when they got there they weren't alone. In fact, everyone from The Order was there as well, and they were a bit solemn faced at that. Dropping the food on Albus's desk, no longer even hungry at the somber tone in the room, they took a seat next to each other on one of the sofas that had been saved for them. 

"Albus...James...Sirius? What's going on?" Remus said worriedly, looking from one to the other. 

Albus sighed and nodded. "I'm afraid we some bad news. Terrible news really, and it was at James's request we're having this meeting now." he said somberly. 

"James? What is it? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Remus said puzzled and suddenly afraid. Now that he looked at his friend he could see traces of tears shed earlier, in fact it looked as if James had been crying for a while now. 

James sighed deeply and nodded to his friend. "Something awful's happened Remy...I...I can't even believe it myself...." he said and to Remus's surprize a fresh wave of tears started to flow. Getting up he walked over and put his arm round James, comforting him. 

"Oh James.....tell me what happened....please?" he said softly. 

"Oh Remy! They're _dead_! He...he killed them just like that!" James blurted out through his tears, his sobs coming louder now. 

"Dead? Who? _Who's_ dead James?" Remus said very concerned now. "Not...not Lily and Harry? Tell me it's not them!" 

James shook his head and sniffed. "No...it's not them, thank gods for that. They were there at the house but Lily apparated out just in time...but...she...she couldn't save them....I should have been there....I should have _been_ there!" he said wailing now. 

"James, it's not your fault. You didn't know, none of us did. We never thought they'd be at risk...." Arabella said softly. 

"Will someone please tell me what the bloody hell happened allready?" Remus said a bit exasperated now. 

"Remus...it's...the Evanses. They...Lily had taken Harry over there to see her parents and...." Arthur said quietly, but found he couldn't go on either. 

Sirius took over, his own voice breaking with tears still. "Voldemort must have been keeping an eye on their home Remy. Like Arabella said...we never thought they'd be at risk for...for something like this. James had to do some work at the ministry yesterday and...Lily decided to take the baby to her parents for the afternoon...." 

"And that's when it happened. It wasn't Voldemort himself from what Lily said but...well right now she's not really thinking clearly...she's not sure what she saw." Alastor said with a light grunt. 

"They...they're dead then..." Remus said in a flat tone of voice, and James nodded through his sobbing. 

"Yeah...oh gods Remy...I should have _been_ there! I could have done something..._anything_! They were like my own parents Remy, I was a son to them..and now...they're _gone_! Just like my real parents! He takes away everything...everyone I love!" James said balling his fist up angrily. "He'll _pay_ for this, I swear he will _pay_!" 

"James please! I know you're upset right now but you cannot just think it will be that easy..." Albus began quietly. 

"**_NO_** Albus! Not _this_ time! I'm _sick_ of it, I _won't_ let him get away with it _anymore_! What good is being who I am if I can't protect the people I love? Tell me Albus? _Huh_? What _good_ is it?!" James screamed now. 

"James _enough_! Much as I hate to say this, you _cannot_ take on Voldemort and the _entire_ group of deatheaters yourself, _especially_ when you're _not_ thinking clearly. Trust me on this, I know better then anyone. You _cannot_ just waltz in without a plan James, not if you want to live." Severus said now stepping into the conversation. 

James glared at Severus almost as if all this was his fault and Remus didn't exactly like that. "James he's right. I know you _don't _want to hear it, least of all from him, but he _is_ right. I know this is hard on you, gods know I loved Lily's parents too, but if you want revenge, anger _isn't_ going to solve anything." Remus said softly. 

James choked back another sob and lowered his head, his anger leaving him. "Oh Remy..." he sighed deeply. "You're right, you're both right. I'm just so tired of burying the people I love...." 

"We _will_ avenge everyone James, we will...but we've _got_ to have a plan first." Remus said gently, handing James a linen handkerchief of his. 

"And that Remus, is part of what is _your_ goal for us now." Albus said quietly causing Remus and Severus to look at his sharply. 

"What do you mean Albus? What goal?" Severus said more sharply then he probably should have. 

"Now Severus, you were both aware that Remus couldn't stay here once term starts. I had hoped that I could have waited until that time, unfortunately this event speeds up matters. Remus, I'm am sorry on this but tomorrow I am going to have to ask you to leave and begin your journeys." Albus said leveling his gaze on Remus. 

Remus stared at him in shock, surely he hadn't just heard what he thought he had. "T-tomorrow? Not....not...t-_tomorrow_ Albus...." Remus said in a whisper. 

Albus sighed and nodded his head. "I'm afraid so Remus. If I could, believe me, I would wait. But there is far more at stake now than I first realized. Voldemort is growing stronger, and though till now I have slightly hoped my reports were wrong, it seems they are not. You did agree when you joined The Order that you would do what was necessary to protect the wizarding world, and I ask no less of that from you now." 

Though Remus was feeling dizzy and faint at the thought of leaving Severus so soon, he knew Albus was right. He had made a promise to him and The Order, and he would not back down now. Walking over and sitting down next to Severus, not even realizing that he had slipped his hand into Severus's own hand, he nodded his head. 

"What do you want me do to Albus?" he said in a strong voice, and knew that if ever he needed to be a Gryffindor with courage and bravery, this was the time. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-16 10:46:08 PM 


	18. When The Destiny Turns Cold

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Sad to say but I fear this is the beginning of the ending of the fic. I don't see more than a few more if that chapters left. Now don't worry, all will be explained in time I promise I won't leave you guessing :chuckle: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: When The Destiny Turns Cold~~~~_**

Severus woke in a cold sweat, his body shaking from an unremembered yet familiar dream, or perhaps an nightmare. The Dreamless Sleeping Potions he took on a regular basis these days didn't even help him anymore. The dreams and the nightmares would still come, and even though he had personally altered the potion to be stronger then normal, they still had the ability to cause him to waken like this. Confused, afraid....and barely at the edge of sanity. 

With a slight groan Severus shook his head, emptying out the last shreds of the grogginess that always accompanied the potion. No matter how hard he tried, he could never remember either the dreams or the nightmares, most time he didn't even want to. He realized he wasn't going to be getting anymore sleep that night, so he went over and lit a few more candles, throwing the room into a soft dull glow. 

His internal clock told him it was just before sunrise, and before he knew it he found himself dressing unconsciously, and threw over his shoulders a dark woolen robe that he used when he wished to slip away unnoticed. He didn't have to guess why he was doing this, or where his feet would automatically lead him. He already knew. 

10 minutes later he found himself outside the castle, the reddish orange glow of the soon to be rising sun already peeking over the horizon, the moon allready a fading pale orb against the last few remaining stars. He stopped at a familiar spot, one in which every month without fail he found himself, one in which the cruel hands of destiny seemed fit to bring him to. 

For a moment he stood there at this place, allowing the scents of the morning to filter through his senses. A fresh snowfall last night had made this place seem not just magical, but almost sacred. The silent trees were glittering like diamonds with the newly formed icicles, and the ground was soft and yielding to his footsteps. His hearing was tuned to the forest round him, and the waking of creatures both light and dark residing in it only added to the beauty and mystery of this place. 

It was a strange place for him, full of both good and bad memories, yet he could never stay away. A few years ago he'd tried to, and for very good reasons he had desperately wanted to stay away. He couldn't though, making sure however that he would always return to his rooms before anyone would know he was ever there. It had to be that way, for Severus Snape wasn't entitled any longer to be here, atleast in his own mind he wasn't. 

Scowling now at the warmth that shone down on him by the newly risen sun, he gave one last gaze towards the main object of his torn, twisted and battered emotions. With a sigh he knew he'd be back here again, he couldn't help it. It was the only reminder he had of a life he no longer led, a life in which it was too late to turn back to. A remind of all he had lost, even if that loss was his own doing. 

Walking back to the castle he prepared himself for the coming day. He went over to his desk and picked up his list of things to do for the day, making sure that all was in order. Satisfied that it was, he returned to his private room, debating what he should do next. There was a good 45 minutes before breakfast would be served in the Great Hall, so he did the only thing he could think of now, which was to warm up within the flowing waters of a nice hot shower. Undressing himself and grabbing up a towel he headed out towards the bathroom, too much on his mind still for such a morning. 

It wasn't until he was halfway to the shower that he realized exactly what he had been wearing when he had gone outside. He turned round and walked back to where he had put down the clothes on the bed, and picked them back up, holding them gently in his hands. Why his subconscious had deliberately chosen this item of clothing he didn't know. Fact was he didn't even know he still owned this piece of clothing anymore, so it was very much a surprize for him to see it now. 

Shaking his head of unwanted thoughts he threw back down the clothing onto the bed, resolving himself to get rid of it as soon as he could. He turned on his heel and headed back towards the bathroom, burying his wandring thoughts as far back into his mind as possible. He drowned his thoughts, sorrows, angers and memories under the water, wishing for the thousandth time that it was himself he was burying, instead of the emotions. 

When he got to breakfast he had forgotten that today was the start of Yule hols. The traditional 4 house tables had been moved and replaced by only 1 table for those few who had stayed behind. Taking his customary seat at the end of the long staff table, he nodded slightly to Albus and sat down wearily. When the food arrived he found he could only pick at, so instead he wandered his gaze over the students who had stayed behind, and found more then a few surprizes. 

Harry Potter of course had stayed, that was a given. He never left the school during Yule hols, those muggle relatives of his forbade it. What did surprize him was that he was the only 6th year Gryffindor who had stayed in this year. Not even that know-it-all Granger or that shadow Weasley had stayed with him. From what he gathered, only 5 other Gryffindors ranging from 1st to 3rd years had also stayed. Again highly unusual as last year almost 20 of that house had stayed behind. 

Of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, only 15 had stayed. 8 Ravenclaws, 7 Hufflepuffs. They were a bit varied from 1st to 7th years, however with those two houses, that wasn't uncommon at all. From what Severus could tell, 7 of the 8 Ravenclaws actually were 6th and 7th years, probably staying behind to study for the O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S. 

The only other object of main interest was that not a single Slytherin had stayed for Yule holidays. Well, that is, none save one. Severus had to look and look again at the single Slytherin of his house that had stayed, and for the life of him couldn't understand why this particular person had decided not to go home. From what he remembered, Draco Malfoy _never_ stayed over the holidays. Even that however, wasn't what made Severus stop and actually stare for a moment at Draco. 

Watching him he realized that something in Draco's demeanor wasn't right. For a moment Severus muttered an oath to himself, he'd been so caught up in his own problems the past few weeks that he'd paid little attention to Lucius's son. Not that he really cared to if he was honest, despite everything he had never grown warm really towards the boy, the only reason he attempted civility with him was because he _was_ Lucius's son. And in his line of work, you didn't antagonize the children of those you were keeping an eye on, not if you wanted to live. 

A slight tingling of his fine tuned instincts made him realize he himself now was being stared at, and scanning the single table below finally came to the realization it wasn't coming from there. Turning his gaze to the staff table now he saw it was none other than Albus looking at him, and with a slight nod of his head he was quietly letting Severus know he needed to speak with him after breakfast. Severus nodded back as well, telling him he understood, and focusing his thoughts elsewhere, he went back to picking at his food. 

He wasn't hungry as he thought he would be. Something inside of him just didn't feel much like food, yet he was hungry, but it wouldn't be food that would appease him. With a grimace he put his fork down and without a word got up and left the table, to the surprize of everyone nearly in the room. Everyone of course but Albus who watched him leave, a tinge of regret in his eyes. 

In the outer corridor Severus found himself subconsciously walking, and wasn't really surprized when a few moments later found himself outside a certain classroom that was no longer in use. This was the first year this classroom wasn't being used, not for lack of wanting to use it however. But after all these years there wasn't anyone left who was willing to take up residence in this classroom, or more importantly, in the position that it used to hold. 

Leaning against the doorframe he let his mind wander back for a moment, when it had been filled with small glass cages, strange creatures and smells. He closed his eyes a moment, remembering a time not that long ago....a time in which he had had a chance to change things. To correct mistakes made, to maybe even start over. But too many years of pain and agony tore into him, and too many years of regrets and guilts yet again took a piece of what was left of his soul. Another piece of fodder to feed to the dark, to the loneliness, and to the torment of his life. 

"I"m worried about you Severus." a soft voice said at his elbow, causing him to jump and turn round instantly. 

When he saw who it was he sighed, then gave a small scowl. "I"m not a child anymore Albus. There's nothing you need to worry about with me. At my age, there's little left to worry about anyway." Severus said in a condescending manner. 

"Perhaps not, however that doesn't mean I won't." Albus said thoughtfully and stood looking into the classroom. "It's a shame we couldn't find anyone to teach this. It's something the children should be learning." 

"I could have done it, you know that." Severus said sulkily now. 

Albus shook his head and gave a small chuckle. "As if you would ever give up your dungeons, or your potions Severus. The children may think you want that, but you and I know better. Besides, you have a commitment to that particular position, made before you ever became our esteemed professor. Or am I wrong?" he said turning back to face Severus with a smile. 

Severus stared back at Albus with a dark glare for a moment before another sigh escaped him. He turned to look into the classroom for a moment then said, "Sometimes....I hate it when you're right Albus." 

Albus chuckled. "Compliments are hard to come by lately with you Severus, so I'll accept that for what it is. Come to my office will you? We need to talk." he said and headed back down the corridor. 

Severus looked back at the empty classroom one last time before, a look of wistful defeat in his eyes as he did so. Why he tormented himself to come here now that it was emptied he didn't know, or maybe he did and couldn't bear to admit it. Something however in his eye as he turned away would have caused any of his students to turn tail and run at that moment, not in fear but in complete shock. For at that moment a single tear slide down his cheek, memories cascading in his mind as if they were yesterday. And he knew that the pain, the agony of it all...would never go away. 

It was a somber Severus Snape that was sitting now in Albus Dumbledore's office. As he looked round the room a moment he could see Fawkes getting ready for burning day, and his mind registered just how apropo that actually was right at this moment. Burning day or a death day was special to a phoenix, and for a brief moment Severus wished he could be like that. The end of an old life, and the start of a new one, that chance to redeem yourself and start over without the fears, without the guilts. 

Albus could see his friend suffering, and it bothered him. He didn't know what to do for him anymore, he had tried everything short of physically forcing him to leave the school over the years. Severus wouldn't have anything to do with it though, and unless he was summoned for a meeting with Voldemort, he never left the castle now. Even when he needed supplies he came to Albus with the list, having his people procure them for him, refusing to go anywhere. 

He still had as much faith in Severus's abilities as ever though, that much he couldn't deny. Severus had become fanatic over the past two years in the role he was forced to play yet again. He knew when he'd asked Severus to do this 2 years ago, to do what needed to be done that he could count on him. And so far Albus had been well rewarded, but at much cost to them all. 

It had been a long 2 years battle, Albus knew that. Cedric Diggory's death had been only the first, and since that day no less than 5 more students had been killed. 2 Gryffindor's, 1 Ravenclaw and 2 Hufflepuffs. Granted it was being in the wrong place at the wrong times, but killed none the less. And what hurt Albus more was that Harry Potter felt it was all his fault. 

Albus knew Harry had changed much over the years. He had been such an innocent child, thrown into a life he should never have had. The deaths of James and Lily Potter had stunned the wizarding world 15 years ago, and the 'disappearance' of baby Harry even more so. Only a few select people knew where Harry had really been sent off to, that being himself, Minerva McGonagall, Rubeus Hagrid, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black....and Severus Snape. 

It had been Severus who had finally figured out back then that there was a spy amongst the little group known as the Marauders. It had been his information that had warned Albus that moves were being made towards the Potters, but sadly all of it was for nothing. James and Lily died anyway, and the spy turned out to be non other then Sirius Black. He had been caught in the street, laughing like a maniac after killing not only 12 muggles, but Peter Pettigrew in the process. 

For years Severus blamed himself for not knowing sooner that Black was the spy, and he carried that guilt with him so badly it caused him to drive away everyone and everything. Even those he cared for no longer understood him, even the one person he needed most he drove away. And in doing that, his life became a living, breathing hell. Even when Severus found out Sirius had been innocent, it did nothing to alleviate what he had sunk himself into. 

Albus had hoped that 3 years ago things would have been different what a certain person came back here to Hogwarts. But sadly Severus was too far gone at that point. Whatever was left of the Severus Snape who could feel, care for, love and understand had died. Only a shell remained, a shell that went about it's daily routine and little else. And now it was at the point where Albus could no longer deal with it, it had to end. 

Albus picked up a post letter he'd received by owl that morning, and it weighed heavily on his mind. It had pained him greatly when he'd read the letter, but it just might be the one thing that might help break Severus out of what he was doing to himself. Albus knew that deep down Severus still had the emotions, he was human after all, but Albus knew that unless there was intervention, Severus wasn't even the one who could tear down the carefully erected walls that he'd built up. 

"Albus, are you going to just sit there and stare at me, or tell me what you wanted of me. _You_ were the one who asked _me_ here, not the other way round if you remember." Severus finally said breaking the silence that had been prevalent in the room since he'd entered. 

Albus sighed and nodded to him. "Very well Severus, I will tell you. I received a post owl this morning, and though I at first did not want to inform you of this...I think you do have the right to know." 

Severus looked at him puzzled now. "A post? You called me here...for a post? And why would _I_ be interested in _your_ posts Albus?" he said. 

Albus eyed Severus wearily for a moment, then held out the aforementioned post. "Perhaps you should see for yourself why Severus." 

Severus suddenly got a bad feeling bout the letter Albus was holding out. He looked at Albus for a moment carefully, registering the lack of his usual twinkle in his eyes, and hearing the slight tone of concern in his voice. No, not even concern, but something else...something he couldn't place. Hesitantly he took the letter, and read it. 

_~~Dear Albus,_

_I hope this finds you well, though what I have to tell you might change those circumstances. _

_As you know we have both been doing as you asked of us, not just lying low as it were, but also making the attempts of what you and The Order asked of the two of us 3 years ago. It has taken a long time, but I feel we have had alot of success so far, atleast that is the only good thing._

_I need to tell you though that recently something happened, something unexpected. Last night in a village called Bergi in Latvia we were investigating some dark creature sightings, specifically of course...werewolves. Remus waited until nightfall, choosing to transform first since it was a full moon, and then going to seek out the pack on his own. Though I was against it, he thought it was the best way._

_Unfortunately my instincts were right Albus. He didn't return this morning as planned so I got concerned and went to look for him. What I found sent me into shock. They attacked him Albus....badly at that. I was able to manage to stem the blood flow from the wounds, but....but I don't know what more I can do. I was never a healer, that was always Remus's job when we got into scrapes...and frankly...I'm worried he's going to die._

_He's lost alot of blood, he was like that for hours before I finally found him in the forest. I assume the 'wilds' attacked him either A. Because they're allready on the side of Voldemort, or B. Because they have lived so long as they are that they fear and abhor the 'tamed ones' and want nothing to do with them or our cause. Of course I don't know for sure...and if something isn't done I may never know._

_By Merlin Albus help us please! I'm so afraid of losing him...not now...please send a mediwitch or wizard to us as soon as you can...if it's not allready too late by the time you get this. I put a speed spell on the owl to get this to you quickly, but it was all I could do. Even here in a remote village I cannot be seen, and I'm being forced to hide us both in a old abandoned barn just on the outskirts of town. _

_Please...I"m begging you Albus...help me...help Remy! _

_S.B.~~_

Severus closed his eyes, the words and the tear stains that littered the parchment floating before his eyes. Swallowing hard and in an unsteady voice he said, "What...what...have you...arraigned?" 

Albus looked at Severus for a moment, wondring just how much of the reality of the situation Severus was understanding. "Poppy is preparing herself now. She will floo from Hogsmeade to Riga, and apparate to the village from there. Providing of course she can find them in time." he said softly, the implications thick in the air. 

A shiver went down Severus's spine though the room was quite warm considering it was winter. Opening his eyes he focused his cold black gaze onto Albus and said in a whisper, "You know if he dies....I will too Albus...." 

Albus nodded his head slowly. "Yes Severus, I am aware of that. Which is why I thought...that you should be aware of the situation. Poppy will do her best of course, but the situation does sound quite grim I'm afraid. There is every chance Remus will die Severus, you have to be prepared for that now." 

"_**No**_! Don't you _dare_ Albus....don't you even _dare_ say that! He's _not_ dead....he's not _going_ to die!" Severus said jumping up now from the chair and standing at the desk. 

"Severus calm down. You know if you get upset right now and the emotions are strong enough it could hurt the situation more. If Remus feels anger from you now....it very well _could_ kill him. He _knew_ the risks Severus, he was prepared to take them....for _all_ of us. For The Order, for the entire wizarding world...." Albus said softly. 

"Damn you Albus, damn you to hell! Fuck The Order and the entire wizarding world! I"m tired of all of it Albus! Tired of losing people I care about. Tired of hearing promises that are _never_ kept. Tired of hearing 'it's for the better good'. To hell with the risks and for the better good. When is it going to be _my_ turn..._my_ better good? _To get my life back_?" Severus said enraged, his eyes blazing with fury. 

"Severus please....you must not..." Albus began but Severus cut him off with a glare. 

"_**No**_, no more pleases, no _more_! For years I have heard all of this, and for _what_? To satisfy _you_? To believe in causes _I_ no longer believe in? I don't _think_ so Albus..._not_ anymore! And you can tell Poppy _she_ is _not_ going to Latvia, _I_ am! If I'm not back before holidays are over Albus, find yourself another professor to teach potions!" he said angrily and without another word, he sped out the door slamming it behind him before Albus could even answer. 

Albus stared at the closed door a moment with an odd look on his face. He had expected Severus to react to the post, he'd have been a fool to think he wouldn't, just not in the way he had. Fear perhaps yes, anguish maybe even. But the burning rage...the refusal to let go....and the sadness he could feel that was unspoken at all the years of deep rooted denials and despairs....that he really _hadn't _expected to surface. 

He knew it had been difficult for Severus 3 years ago when he was suddenly thrown together again with the man he hadn't seen in 12 years prior. The fact that whatever had happened between them 12 years in the past had kept them from one another during that school term had been a difficult burden for Albus to bear. He had secretly hoped that whatever had transpired between the two of them would have resolved 3 years ago, but to his dismay in the end, it had only gotten worse. 

With a deep sigh Albus stood up and gazed for a moment unseeing out his window. He heard Fawkes trilling questioningly behind him, and he listened to the phoenix for a moment. "You're right Fawkes, but then you always are. I suppose I should go inform Poppy she won't be needed, but I wonder if this _is_ the right thing to do...." he mused. 

Another questioning trill from Fawkes made him silent again for a few moments, pondering on the scene he'd just witnessed. As the words came floating back to him he realized the exact words Severus had used in his tirade. That just perhaps there _was_ hope yet....slim maybe...but enough that Albus felt a bit lighter than he had earlier. 

"He hasn't stopped his emotions then, I see now. He's fought so long and hard to deny them, to forget them....but he hasn't. Not really. I'm sure things are not _quite_ as bad as they seem Fawkes. After all, if Remus was truely in _that_ much danger, Severus would have known it sooner I think, despite everything. Perhaps what _I_ could not do 3 years ago...._they_ will finally do on their own. Yes, he will be back Fawkes, I have _no _doubts on that..." Albus said softly and watched as the last feather fell from his beloved phoenix, and moments later there was nothing more of him but ashes. 

As Albus gazed fondly on that pile of ashes he also thought how prophetic it was. The burning day is a sacred day for the phoenix, it's a time of not only death, but rebirth. To rise again renewed and reawakened, stronger and prouder then before. And just as Fawkes was rebirthing himself, so indeed were two lost souls. Connected in a way that even they had never fully understood. Now they too would soon face a renewal of life, and hopefully as Fawkes was about to do, they would rise from their own ashes....and once again find the happiness they so desperately deserved. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

_2002-05-18 7:38:48 AM_


	19. Renewals Amidst Tragedy

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Terribly sorry on the delay on getting chapters out this week. :Sigh: been ill with the blasted flu for the past few days and every time I sat down to write I could only manage a paragraph or two before I got dizzy....so I apologize this is rather a bit shorter than my normal. However it does mean I will be doing atleast an extra chapter to make up for that before I end this. Anyway, enjoy! :) 

**_~~~~CHAPTER NINETEEN: Renewals Amidst Tragedy~~~~_**

_*I had the chance to tell you...to tell you everything and I threw it away...oh gods what have I done? I won't make that mistake again....I can't. I'm so sorry...forgive me, please Merlin forgive me for what I did....you can't die on me now....I'm not ready to lose you...to lose us....just hold on...I'll be there....I still choose us!*_

Severus's mood was as harsh as the weather was in Latvia at the moment. Winter didn't come easy in a place that was so far up in the northern part of the world. The fact he was half frozen, tired, hungry and not to mention lost wasn't helping. Sirius hadn't bothered to mention in his post exactly where the 'barn' he had taken Remus was, and it was a very annoyed Severus who finally was beginning to wonder just how many 'abandoned' barns there were right now on the 'outskirts of town'. 

Leaving Hogwart's hadn't been easy either. Poppy had given him more then a few sickles worth of whatfors when she'd been told that Severus was going rather than herself. It's not that she didn't trust Severus in simple healings, but something as grave as the situation appeared, she certainly hadn't wanted to take the chances. Severus was a spot on Potions Master, but he was not a trained licensed Mediwizard. And Poppy made him quite well aware of that until the moment he'd finally gotten out of her grasp. 

He'd gratefully left her and Albus at the Three Broomsticks, catching an international Floo Network grate to Riga. From there he had apparated to Bergi, right on the edge of the town, which if Severus's internal clock was working correctly, was bout 5 hours ago now. He headed off in what he thought might be the right direction at first, only half an hour later realizing it wasn't by any means. 

Doubling back with a few oaths under his misted breath, he'd so far taken no less than 6 trails out of town, had checked 9 different 'barns' and still nothing. Being this close to where Remus was hadn't even helped in finding him, which led him to believe Remus was probably unconscious and not able to project his emotions. The only thing at the moment Severus was sure of was that Remus was alive, simply because....so was he. 

_*When I get my hands on you Black I swear to Merlin....trust you not to tell us exactly where you're damned bloody 'barn' was! Atleast you could have said the direction!* _Severus's mind muttered. At this point it was pretty much an empty threat though, since he couldn't even feel his hands anymore. The warming spells only did so much, and in his fury the only thing he'd remembered to 'pack' were potions...warm clothing and simple things like a scarf or gloves had been the furthest from his mind which he was now regretting. 

A fresh snowfall now made things even more difficult. The sun was just bout to set, and Severus knew if he didn't find shelter soon, he was going to be in for more than a bit of trouble. If it was bad like this during daylight where it was just a little below freezing, the night was going to be hell. He knew that temperatures up here could get well into the negative degrees in a matter of seconds once the sun went down. And in the state he was in, combined with the snow fall, he would probably freeze to death quickly if he didn't find something soon. 

_*I swear on my own grave Black....if I die out here I'll come back and haunt you till you grow insane from what I'll do to you....you'll wish you had stayed in Azkaban....* _

A darkening of the sky suddenly made him realize time was up. The sun was setting, and the snow was too thick now to even get a bearing anymore. He refused to give up however despite the fact he could hear the cry of wolves in the distance. The howls sent shivers down his already half frozen spine more in fear than anything else. Though he wasn't 100% positive, he had a very good feeling these were no ordinary wolves. He wondered now if these had been the ones who'd attacked Remus, though he wasn't sure he really wanted to find out. 

Unfortunately for Severus, he wasn't going to get much of a choice. The falling snow had distorted the sound of the wolf howls, either that or his tired mind had just given up and none of his instincts including hearing were working properly anymore. It was too late before he realized it though, and he found himself surrounded....and the pack didn't look friendly. 

One of the wolves, a giant black one with scars up and down it's face and a twisted front paw stopped just before him and eyed him wearily. Severus tried to hold his ground, but his weariness overtook him. He knelt down into the snow before the giant wolf from sheer exhaustion, his cold black gaze level with the yellowed irises of his advisary. At this point he didn't care any longer if the pack were to take him, he wasn't going to survive out here anyway without shelter or food. 

The wolf leader circled him carefully while the others of the pack stayed behind a respectful distance. Then to Severus's surprize the werewolf, and Severus had no doubts it was a werewolf pack, came over and sniffed his robes, and then did something Severus wasn't sure he believed he was seeing. In almost a heartbeats time, where the werewolf had been standing, was now a man. 

The man muttered some words and Severus saw it was a wandless dressing spell for himself, along with a second woolen cloak in his hands. The man held it out to him in offering, but Severus eyed the cloak wearily as if it was some trick, however, the man thrust it at Severus again insistently so he took it. With a wave of the man's hand he indicated for Severus to follow him, and though Severus was tired and frozen he managed to throw the cloak over his body and get up, following the man almost automatically. 

The cloak wasn't just an ordinary cloak Severus realized after a few moments...it contained a warming spell, and he felt the blood beginning to thaw inside his frozen body. Not more than 5 minutes later Severus was warm again, and the man and he had arrived at a small shack which they entered quickly. Looks had been misleading though, for inside it was no mere shack, infact it was quite elaborate and had been magically hidden into the earth itself. The man indicated for Severus to take a seat and with a sharp string of words in language Severus didn't recognize, the others in the pack who had entered before them disappeared elsewhere, leaving the two men in peace. 

The man came over to the table with a steaming mug of a dark liquid and put it down infront of Severus. "Drink. Will warm you more." he said in a deep voice. 

Severus nodded and did as he was told, still wondring what was going on. When he was done he finally felt the last of the frozeness leave him, and he was grateful though he wasn't going to show it just yet. Putting the mug down on the table he turned his gaze to the man sitting acrost from him, observing him for a moment now that he had the chance. 

The man was much shorter than him, 5'5 or 5'6 at best, skin a little darker than a deep tan, and waist long hair that was blacker then the night was, though streaked on one side from tip to tip in grey. One of his hands was gnarled and missing 2 fingers, and his face was worn with the scars Severus had seen in the mans wolf form. His eyes were also black, shrewd and calculating, yet...Severus almost swore there was a warmth in them, and puzzled he wondred why he was here and not dead out in the snow. 

"Why did you save me." Severus asked now, his gaze wandring round the kitchen area they were in before falling back to the man. 

The man studied Severus for a moment and replied. "You serve the dark lord....but yet...you do not. You are loyal though but to whom I wonder." 

Severus looked at the man with a cool gaze. "What business is it of yours who I serve. I know where _my_ loyalties are. Question is....where are _yours_?" he said sharply. 

The man looked at Severus almost searchingly than let out a loud laugh. "You have chosen well in who you are friends with....Severus Snape." 

Severus nearly jumped out of his chair in surprize and a bit of fear. "H-how...how do you know..." he stammered. 

The man waved one of his hands as if brushing him off. "I know you half wolf, your scent is marked. The only one you have been unloyal to now....is _yourself_ Severus Snape. But now...yes...you find hope again...and you fight. Is good, you need. How I know you though....come. I show you." the man said simply and got up heading towards a side room. 

Severus got up and followed the man, though his instincts were tingling with unknown emotions he didn't understand. The closer he got to the room, the more he felt as if there was something there that made him afraid, unsure. Why was this man...this werewolf...being so kind to him? If it was the one who'd attacked Remus, why show him mercy? Because he thought he served Voldemort? He had detected dark magic being used since he got to this place, though he wasn't sure it was because they followed Voldemort. Somehow despite all, he wasn't getting the impression they were. 

The man knocked on the door and a woman opened the door. The man said some words to her in the same language as before, and she looked at Severus with a strange look before stepping aside to let them in. As Severus stepped into the room he looked round and realized it was a bedroom of sorts, almost more like a small infirmary with several beds littered round the room. The woman said something to the man and walked out the door, closing it softly behind her. 

The man didn't say anything to Severus, just nodded his head towards one of the beds near the far wall. For some reason Severus couldn't help but to start walking towards it, a sense of foreboding deep in his soul. As he got to the edge of the bed he stopped for a moment afraid. Somehow he knew he wasn't going to want to see what he was about to. 

Taking up his courage however he stepped round to the side, and a gasp followed by a soft groan escaped his lips. Falling to his knees by the side of the bed he was in shock at what he saw, or rather who it was he saw. The person...was Remus. His Remus....his lifemate....the man who would forever hold his heart, body, mind and soul within his grasp....the man who he had also driven away and betrayed so long ago. 

Only Severus knew that 3 years ago it had taken all his willpower not to give in to the agony he was going through in seeing Remus again. To see him daily, talk to him, make the Wolfsbane for him, have meals with him and even teach for him. And the torture it had been not to be able to take Remus into his arms and his bed the moment he'd first seen him and apologize for everything he had done, everything that had been said 12 years prior. 

It was too late though and Severus knew it. 3 years ago there had still been too much unsaid between them, to much lost emotions and feelings yet to even have hope for more. The look in Remus's eyes, the sadness and pain that was directed solely at Severus was more then he thought he could bear. So unless he had to actively do something for him, Severus had avoided Remus like the plague. And thankfully Remus had seen fit to do the same thing in return. 

The nights had been the worst of it, a constant remind of how he could still feel his arms wrapped tightly round his lovers body. How he could still smell Remus's scent lingering on his clothing just as it had so many years before. The intoxicating scents of the both of them mingling together in the air invaded him even down in his dungeon room had nearly driven Severus to the edge of what little sanity he had had left. 

But it had been Remus's voice that was enslaved within his mind most during that whole year. Not the words he was speaking to Severus 3 years ago, no...not that. It was the unspoken angers, the hurts, the bitter betrayals...and then finally...the silence. In 12 years not a single word nor thought nor exchange of emotion even had been shared. Only silence. 

It had been Black's fault yet again that had caused a rift and he hated Black more than he ever though he could hate someone. It had been Black's fault that 15 years ago Remus and he had parted ways, atleast so he had thought at that time. When he had heard Black had escaped, and Remus was still trying to hold on to a innocent defence of his old lover, Severus lost it. 

He had been ready to kill Sirius back during the shack incidence. Not just because he had thought he had betrayed James and Lily, and he thought he was trying to kill Harry, but because he blamed Black most of all for his torment. If Black hadn't betrayed everyone....then in turn, Severus never would have betrayed Remus. 

Everyone had thought he was upset about losing the Order of Merlin which had led to his telling the Slytherin's Remus was a werewolf, but it wasn't. When he heard from Albus the truth bout Pettigrew, that he had been the betrayer and not Black...and that all those years he had spent away from Remus had been for no reason...it was like a bucket of ice had been poured on him. 

His thoughts back then were that there was no way Remus would ever take him back, not after what he'd done in the shack...not after he'd driven him away in jealousy, anger and pain. No, the only thing he could do was try to get Remus away from him, as far away as possible. And that's why he had let it slip to Draco Malfoy that Remus was a werewolf. Because he knew Draco would act on it, and he knew Remus would be too proud the Gryffindor to stay. 

Seeing Remus lying in this bed now in the state he was in tore into Severus like a knife. Gently so that he wouldn't wake the sleeping form that was his Remus he took his lifemates hand in his own. It was the first time in 15 years that he had touched Remus, and his mind and body were both reeling at how much he had missed this touch. How much in fact that he missed everything about Remus. How stupid he had been to drive him away, and how he prayed somehow that there was still hope left. 

What concerned him most was the state Remus was in right now though. What or whoever had attacked him had obviously not meant for him to live, there was no question in Severus's mind on that. In the one and half blissful years that they had had together before tragedy had forced them apart, he had learned enough on werewolf healing to know that the wounds he saw on Remus's arms and face were meant for killing, not just maiming. 

Though his own healing properties weren't nearly as quick as Remus's being a halfwolf, he knew that it was directly tied to the bloodflow. Make enough deep wounds where the blood flows out too quickly, the werewolf will die. Few knew this however, most think that silver is the only way to effectively do away with a werewolf, but years of experience had proven that wrong. Though silver was the quickest way to death, 'bleeding' one as it was called was just as usable, and was the most common cause of a internal pack member's death. 

The gashes along Remus's arms were bad, he could see where someone, probably the woman, had stitched them closed. The bitemarks were equally deep, piercing well down to the bone, probably severing arteries as well which from the looks of it was what Black had managed to patch up. 

His face was in no less better shape. Over his left eye there was a group of nail slash marks atleast 3 inches in length, and over his right eye sported a bandage seeped in nothing but blood. On his neck were more bitemarks though thankfully nowhere near as deep. From what Severus could tell Remus had been exceedingly lucky in that the major neck arteries had been missed, because if they hadn't been he'd have died by now. 

He didn't even have to think what to do next, it came to him automatically. He ignored the man for the moment even though Severus had alot of questions for him, they would have to wait. Taking his hand from Remus's he reached into his robe and pulled out a small black velvet back filled with assorted vials. Picking through it he choose 3 of them before putting the bag back away. When he had been 'packing' to come here he wasn't sure which vials to bring, but now he knew he'd made the right choices. 

He uncovered Remus from the heavy duvet that he had been under and with a drawn breath saw something he had been dreaming of for 15 years now. Remus was naked underneath the duvet, and though right now his body was a mass of twisted skin and traces of blood, to him Remus was still just as beautiful as he remembered. However he knew now wasn't the time for admirations, the wounds needed tending to, the memories....he would have to work on....and wait on. 

The first vial contained a potion that was a thin blue liquid which after uncapping the vial, he slowly began to drop into the wounds. The Adferu Potion was incredibly strong healing potion, and restricted at that due to it's complexity and amount of dark items needed to brew. Thanks to Albus's contacts over the years however, Severus had been supplied with those various dark items, and for his own personal injuries inside the classroom as well as when he was saving anyone from Voldemort's clutches, he always made sure to have a batch brewed. 

Only one drop per wound was needed though in some of the wounds Severus decided to add a second drop for safety. He'd never used the potion on wounds this bad before so he felt better safe than sorry. The vial was empty when he finally finished the painstaking task of attending each and every wound, and hoped it would be enough. 

Waiting a few moments he could see the potion was allready hard at work on some of the lesser gashes and bites, and he was grateful how instantaneous the Adferu Potion was. The next vial he uncapped was a dark pink liquid, an Adeni Potion. This wasn't just a 'restricted' potion, the Adeni Potion was a forbidden one, and for all the right reasons. 

This particular dark arts potion recipe had been given to him by a woman he had come to truely admire over the years, even if her shop was smack dab in the midst of Knockturn Alley. It seemed almost like fate now that his halfgoblin friend had seen fit to give it to him, almost as if she knew it was going to be need right at this moment in time. With a pang of regret he also realized now that when she had given him the recipe it had been the last time he'd seen Haggatha, not to mention the very last time he'd left the castle, before shutting himself away from the world. 

As the case was fate was truely stepping in it seemed, for it had only been a few days back when he had brewed this batch of potion. Because of the rarity of the ingredients he only could brew a small batch of it at a time, and only twice a year because of one of the main ingredients. The Annaprox flower used to make this potion only bloomed 2 times of the year, the week of the summer and winter solstices. And it only grew in one place in the world, which thankfully just happened to be convenient for Severus...the Forbidden Forest. 

The Adeni Potion was a regeneration potion of sorts, which is why it was banned. Severus didn't know exactly why it had been banned completely, but he knew it was Albus who had fought to get it banned back in the 40's during the Grindelwald wars. It was only because Albus trusted Severus still perhaps that much that he allowed Severus to brew this potion, even though Severus never had told him he was. But then again, Albus always knew didn't he, and right now he was grateful he had been allowed to brew it. 

The only reason he was going to use it was simple. Underneath the bandage on Remus's eye was, to put it bluntly, nothing. Just a place where an eye and an eyelid should have been, and Severus couldn't bear the thought of Remus losing that eye. Gently pouring a tiny bit of the potion into where his eye should have been he recovered the area with the bandage and recapped the vial. Unlike the Adferu potion, this one was going to need more time. 

Satisfied that he had finished the external work he uncapped the final vial he had taken out of his pouch. It was none other then the Curacion Potion that he'd used on himself and Remus all those years ago. Course over the years he had reworked it as muggle medicines improved, and now it was at probably the best strength and ability it would ever be. 

Gently lifting Remus's head up just enough so he wouldn't choke, he put the vial between his lips and tilted it back, letting the liquid slowly slip down Remus's throat. When the vial was finished he put Remus's head gently back down on the pillow and recapped the vial, putting it away. With a sigh he took Remus's hand once more in his, and kneeling down by the bed began to wait. Now it was up to Remus to wake up on his own, he knew to use Enervate on him or wake him suddenly wouldn't do. 

A noise off to his side told him the man was carefully watching all of this with an apprasing eye, and Severus felt a bit guilty now that he had ignored the man for so long. "Who are you really? Who did this?" he said now turning his gaze to the man who was now sitting on one of the nearby beds. 

"Demitrov. My human name." the man said in his deep voice, though it was hushed. 

Severus looked at him sharply, surprized at the name. Now he understood why the language had not sounded familiar. "Russian? Not Latvian?" 

The man shook his head. "Nyet. In Russia there were those who still feared us too much. There were deaths where our pack was. We were hunted down and some killed, though my pack never hunted the humans." 

"But you're wilds...surely there have been incidences...." Severus said hesitantly. 

"Nyet. Not in _my_ pack. For a halfwolf you know little of the wilds. But then you are binded to a tame, so I understand. Not _all_ wilds Severus Snape hunt humans...though few remain who are like _us_." 

"If it wasn't your pack....then who did this?" Severus asked. 

"Other side of ridge 2 maybe 3 kilometers...there is _another_ pack. Small yes, but very wild. Very dark. They are lost ones." Demitrov said, a visible shudder passing through him. 

"Isn't that unusual though to have 2 packs in the same region? Why don't they attack you as well?" 

"Is simple. We leave from Russia many many years ago. No other pack here then. Three years ago _they_ come. They say they not stay long, they still are here. They will not attack us because I pretend to them, so they will leave us be." Demitrov said with a shrug. 

"Pretend? Pretend what? And how did you find Remus? He was with someone...a man, where is he?" Severus said. 

Demitrov smiled bearing yellowed teeth and pointed at Severus. "_You_ pretend to be what you are not. _I_ do same. I say I am loyal, but I am not. You understand now?" 

Severus let his words sink in a moment then realized exactly what Demitrov was saying. He allowed a small smile to come to his lips, the first time in a very long time that he actually had smiled. "Hmph. What webs we weave Demitrov." 

Demitrov nodded with a grin. "To live one does what one must do. The man you ask on, he is sleeping yet. The woman here before, she is my mate. She go to town after sunrise to get milk for our two cubs. She cannot wean them after the full moon, so she buy them milk instead. She pick up the scent of blood, and another werewolf. She come get me. I find them both sleeping in a barn. I bring them here because this one hurt very bad. The man healed him not very well, this one almost died. My wife is good healer though, she save him. Good for you eh?" he said with a knowing smile. 

Severus nodded in agreement. "Yes, good for me. And the other man, he wasn't injured...was he?" Severus said a bit of concern in his voice. 

Demitrov shook his head no. "Tired yes. Hungry he was. Half frozen when I find them. He should wake soon, he sleeps since early afternoon now." 

"How did you know who I am though? Noone knew I was coming here." Severus said puzzled. 

Demitrov smiled again and put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment. "The man named Sirius Black, he sent owl to someone when he get here. This come in reply by Latvian wizard courier not owl. Owl take too long courier said." he said handing Severus the piece of parchment to read. 

_~~Sirius,_

_I am grateful you both were found by Demitrov and his pack and that you both are safe. However this does present a problem since Severus is now allready on his way to the village, if he is not there by now. I will need to you find him since he will be looking for the two of you in a barn still._

_Sirius I do not need to tell you why Severus is coming instead of Poppy, but then I believe you never intended Poppy to join you in the first place...did you. I think we both admit it's time we helped make up the past, even when the circumstances are less than admirable._

_Tell Severus when he returns to the school he is not to come alone. I will expect the two of you to be joining him. Your journeys for me are over now my friend, it is time you helped Harry, for he needs you right now more than ever. As for Remus, I believe his journey...home....is just beginning....._

_Owl me when you are going to return and I will make the arraignments._

_Albus~~_

As Severus finished reading the letter his hand was shaking and his head was dizzy in wonder. He felt as if 15 years of darkness was being lifted suddenly, and he knew that this time he wasn't going to let it come back. Looking back over to Remus now he silently took Remus's hand to his cheek, closing his eyes with a sigh of happiness. 

_*Albus and Sirius are giving me another chance Remus....please...give me one too....I've hurt you so much my love and I swear to you I will never again....I'd give up everything Remus...everything....just to have you in my arms again....oh gods Remus I love you....I love you....* _his mind whispered, tears now cascading down his cheeks onto the sheets of the bed. 

_"....I love you too Sev....I always have....and I always will....." _

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

_2002-05-20 10:07:58 PM_


	20. Time Heals Most Wounds

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER TWENTY: Time Heals Most Wounds~~~~_**

"I hope he's _never_ coming back." Ron Weasley said while helping himself to a generous helping of pancakes and toast. 

"Didn't you listen to _anything_ Dumbledore said Ron? He said he _would_ be back." Hermione Granger said in a huff, taking a small helping of eggs and bacon. 

"It's been 2 weeks since term restarted 'Mione. If he _was_ coming back don't you think he would have by _now_? I mean face it, Snape's _never_ taken even _one_ day off in 5 years, why now?" Ron said inbetween bites of his food. 

Hermione shrugged. "I don't Ron, but it's not _our_ business. Right Harry?" she said turning to her other best friend. "Harry? Oi...Harry! Are you paying attention?" she said worriedly and poked him in the side. 

Harry looked up startled and turned to her. "Hmm? Were you talking to me? Sorry...guess...I didn't hear you." he said quietly. 

"Harry what's is going on with you lately? Did something happen over Yule hols that you're not telling us? Ever since we got back you've been so..." she said hesitantly. 

"So _what_ Hermione?" Harry said looking at her sharply. 

Hermione sighed. "So...distracted...Harry. Like you're here...but not really _here_..you know? We're worried bout you Harry, that's all." 

Harry looked at her and Ron a moment then turned his gaze downwards again to his plate and sighed. "Sorry guys. It's nothing...really. I guess I have alot on my mind is all." 

"Well, I suppose that's understandable with Sirius being gone like that. He didn't say anything in his last post as to where he was?" Ron said understandingly. 

Harry shook his head and sighed again. "Nothing. Just said something came up and he and Remus got delayed and they'd be back soon as they could. I'm just worried that's all. I just get the feeling there's something he isn't telling me." Harry said worriedly. 

"I'm sure everything's allright Harry, if it wasn't Dumbledore would have told you something by now wouldn't he?" Hermione said giving him one of her placating pats on the shoulder. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Harry said quietly, glancing round the Great Hall and noticing something a bit odd. "Listen I'm not really hungry right now, I'll catch up with you guys later allright?" he said getting up from the table. 

"Just be careful Harry, you never know who's out there these days." Ron said giving his friend a strange look. 

"He's right Harry. I have a bad feeling Malfoy's been up to something lately. He's been...well if you ask me...too _quiet_. He hasn't pulled one prank or said hardly two words to us since we got back. Frankly it's unnerving." Hermione said thoughtfully. 

Harry shrugged and looked unconcerned. "Maybe he's finally got a life 'Mione. Either that or he's fallen in love and too distracted to remember we exist..." he said in an unemotional tone of voice 

Ron choked on his pumpkin juice he'd been drinking when he heard that. "Yeah right! And I'm going to be the next Head Boy!" he said with a grimace. "Face it Harry, the day Malfoy actually falls in love is the day I'll ask 'Mione to marry me!" Ron said then quickly turned away, a blush on his face. "Err...that is...I mean...." he said with a slight cough. 

Hermione and Harry turned and stared at Ron both with different expressions. Harry's face had this bemused expression on it suddenly as if he knew something the other two didn't, and Hermione's expression was one of complete bewilderment. 

"Ron?" Hermione said in a small voice. "_What_ did you just say?" 

"Nothing...honestly I didn't say anything!" Ron said trying to avoid the issue. 

"Don't play games with me Ronald Weasley! You did too say something....atleast I thought you did...didn't he Harry?" she said questiongly though she still kept her gaze on Ron's face. 

Harry chuckled and shook his head. "I think Malfoy's not the _only_ one who needs to get a 'life' apparently. When you two finally wake up let me know. I'm going for a walk." he said with a grin and promptly left the Great Hall, leaving behind to very surprized people. 

Truth was Harry knew all too well Ron's feelings for Hermione the past 2 years. What had started out as simple jealousy during the 4th year Yule Ball had turned into alot more since. Ron had never said anything outright to Hermione, but Harry knew that in his sleep he would mutter her name and hug his pillow madly. If that wasn't the start of love he didn't know what else it could be. 

The problem was that both Ron and Hermione was too stubborn to admit anything was going on between them. Hermione was the cleverest witch of the times probably, but totally dense when it came to Ron. And Ron was no less dense when it came to her. Harry knew his two best friends better than he knew himself probably, and he knew if any two people belonged together it was them. If only they would just wake up and realize it. 

The ironic thing was Ron didn't know how close to the truth he really was by his statement. If Ron did know the truth...Harry thought with a chuckle just how mortified Ron would have been. _*Guess he will find out soon enough I suppose...and boy are they both in for a shock!*_ Harry's thoughts mused quietly and he walked off with a whistle. 

Harry was just rounding the broomstick shed on his way towards the lake when suddenly out of nowhere a pair of arms grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into the shed. The door closed behind him and he felt himself pinned to the back of the door, completely at the mercy of his unseen assailant. 

Even though it was too dark to see inside the windowless shed he grinned. "Geeze don't _do_ that! Practically gave me a heartattack!" 

"Mmm...really? And here I thought you _liked_ the unexpected...." a voice at his ear said in a semi mocking tone. 

"Oh I do....when it involves _you_....I _especially_ do...." Harry said with a smirk and pulled the unknown person into his arms with a content sigh. "I miss you...." he said softly. 

The person in his arms sighed and snuggled against Harry's shoulder. "I miss you too. Why did the blasted Yule hols have to end?" the person said almost angrily. 

Harry chuckled and shook his head holding the unknown person tighter. "Just to annoy _us_ I think. But it is making it harder on us to be with each other I admit...." he said with a pout. 

"Honestly Harry...I don't know how much longer I can do this. People are starting to notice something is different...and it's killing me to keep pretending to feel what I don't." the other person said with a mutter. 

Harry groaned and nodded. "I know, believe me I know." he said dejectedly. "Can I put up a light, I hate this darkness it's stifling." he said now. 

"Sure, forgot about you and the dark thing." the other person said with a chuckle. 

"Hey I resent that! You'd have good reason to hate the dark too if you'd spent half your life in a cupboard you know." Harry said with a grimace and holding his hand out concentrated a moment. With a few seconds a small glowing orb appeared over his hand throwing the shed into a soft illumination, and with a flick of his hand the orb floated up over his head floating there in midair. 

"You're right Harry, I'm sorry. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you all those years. However....I am still amazed how you can do that. Does anyone else know bout this?" the other person said mildly awed at the orb above them. 

Harry shook his head and grinned. "Nope. Only you, Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus do. I get this really odd feeling there's something they're not telling me though about why I can do this. Something really big that I should know too..." he said thoughtfully and gazed for a moment round the shed, before settling his eyes onto the person in his arms. 

"Oh come on Harry, if there was something _that_ big don't you think they _would_ have told you by now? What makes you think they aren't being honest?" the person said. 

Harry shrugged. "Call it a hunch. It's not that they're _not_ being honest...it's just that they're not telling me the whole truth either. You know I always seem to know bout these type of things....after all....I picked up what _you_ were feeling right away didn't I?" he said with a grin. 

Grey eyes met green eyes as the person gazed up into Harry's face, a soft yet very revealing look in his eyes. "And it still makes me wonder why Harry. You had no reason to believe me...._I_ had no reason to believe what I was feeling was real...but it _was_....wasn't it. It's like I woke up one day and boom...I felt something I _never_ did before....and I _liked_ it. You just made those feelings better that's all..." he said sighing happily while putting his head down on Harry's chest. 

"Mmm...it's funny. A bit ago I was thinking about Ron and Hermione's love for each other and how blind they are to it...that they were too stubborn to woo peaceably. Yet I can honestly say the same about _us_ too..." Harry said thoughtfully. 

The other person looked back up at Harry and grinned, shaking his head a little. "No Harry, I wouldn't say that. We may have been stubborn at first...but we _weren't_ blind. Unlike those two...we went for what _we_ wanted even though we didn't know why. And personally...I'm _very_ glad we did...." the person said in husky voice. 

Harry gazed down into those grey eyes of his lover's, surprized at how such warmth and emotion could radiate from them now. They used to hold nothing but harsh contempt, hatred and jealousy, but not now. Now those grey eyes swirled with strange new emotions, ones that were for him and him alone. Harry leaned down and put his lips close to his lovers and brushed them gently, whispering "So am I Draco....so am I...." 

Harry was whistling a happy tune as he climbed into the Gryffindor common room over an hour later. The first thing that hit his ears however was simply...silence. A pin could have dropped and been heard, which for the common room was highly unusual on a Saturday morning. Glancing round the room quickly he saw there were people there, but they were all focused on one thing...that being the two people standing infront of the fireplace glaring at each other. 

"What's going here? Hermione? Ron? What's wrong?" Harry said chagrined at seeing his two best friends looking so downright hateful towards each other. 

"Ask him! _He_ started this!" Hermione said in a huff, turning away from Harry and Ron and folding her arms. 

"I did not! _You're _the one that has to pick apart everything everyone says!" Ron said equally huffy. 

Harry groaned. "What do you mean Ron? What did you say now?" 

"Oh right, like it's always _my_ fault isn't it Harry. I can't say _anything_ without sticking me foot into it, is that what your saying?" Ron said glaring at Harry as well now. 

"Oi Ron, that's not true. You do have admit though that you do jump to err...well...conclusions sometimes...." Harry said hesitantly. 

Hermione turned back and snorted. "You can say that again! He always talks before he thinks. He says the stupidest things!" she said angrily. 

"That's not true, I am _not_ stupid! And I _do_ think before I speak...when it's something _important_!" Ron said shouting back. 

Hermione looked at Ron with pure malice now. "Oh, so I suppose what you said before _wasn't_ important then?" 

"No...I mean yes...it wasn't...." Ron said though he avoided looking into Hermione's eyes turning instead to the fire. 

Harry turned to the other Gryffindor's in the room for a second noticing they were all first years anyway and gave them a signal to find anything else to do but be here in the commons. With a nod the few where were there scrambled out the portrait hole leaving the three of them alone. Turning back to his two best friends he said, "Allright you two, what's this _really_ about?" 

"You know it's really _your_ fault Harry. If you hadn't said what _you_ did, _he_ wouldn't have said...said..._that_..." Hermione said glaring at Harry now. 

Harry was wracking his brain trying to figure out exactly what 'that' was for a moment. Then it hit him. It was what he had said in the Great Hall at breakfast that was the cause of all of this. And frankly Harry had had enough of it. He was still in too good a mood after little snogging session with Draco in the shed to take anymore, and it was time to put an end to it once at for all. 

"Allright you two listen up. Enough's enough. Hermione, Ron...obviously what I said stirred up something neither of you are willing to admit, so now I'm just going to have to step in." Harry said firmly. 

"Now what the bloody hell do you mean by that Harry?" Ron asked puzzled. 

"Just wait here, I'll be right back. And I mean that, don't you _dare_ move. Thankfully it's a Hogsmeade weekend and most everyone's allready gone out." Harry said and headed up to his room quickly. Moments later Ron and Hermione saw the portrait open by itself, and had a good feeling that it was Harry who'd just gone out, though now they were more curious as to what he was doing rather then arguing with each other. 

Moments later Harry arrived at a portrait of Salazar Slytherin and whispered the password "Ambitio" and the portrait opened. Luckily noone was in the common room not that Harry would have cared anyway and he quickly went down the left staircase to a place he knew well. He stopped at the very bottom room, grateful that the Slytherins in 6th and 7th years had their own dormitories and walked into an elaborately decorated room. 

The object of his search was thankfully there, sitting on the bed with a drawing tablet in one hand and a black chalk pencil in the other. He was looking pensive, so Harry silently crept round the side of the bed to see what he was drawing, and drew his breath in at what he saw on the tablet. "Oh Dray....it's lovely!" he said without thinking, causing Draco to nearly jump up off the bed 10 feet. 

"Christ Harry! Don't _do_ that!" he said grumbling as he saw a grinning Harry come out from underneath the invisibility cloak. 

"Payback for earlier..." Harry said with a grin and leaned in to give Draco a kiss. "Really though, I love it." 

Draco looked at the drawing critically, like most artists do. "I don't know, I think it still needs a lot of work...." he said after a moment. 

It was a drawing of Harry sitting at the windowsill gazing out of Draco's dorm window while looking up at the stars, his arms round Draco who was sitting next to him. They had done alot of 'stargazing' over the holidays when they had been much freer to be together, something Draco truely missed now. He'd been trying to perfect the drawing for days with the shading of how the moonlight would make Harry's green eyes dance like liquid emeralds, but for some reason he just couldn't seem to get it how he wanted it. 

"I know you'll do a spot on job Dray, I love _all_ your drawings." Harry said sitting down on the bed, wrapping his arms round his lover. "But for now I need you for something..." he said kissing the back of Draco's neck. 

"Haaary! What...you mean right _now_? And you call _me_ the impatient one!" Draco said with a mocking laugh while swatting Harry's wandring hand away. 

Harry chuckled and shook his head. "Not for _that_ you git, though Merlin knows if we had the time...." he said standing up now and turning to face Draco. "Nope, I need to you come with me to the Gryffindor commons." 

Draco raised an eyebrow at Harry wondring what he was up to. "Why? What's up?" he asked. 

Harry sighed. "It's Ron and Hermione. They're fighting over something I said this morning at breakfast, and frankly...I'm sick of it. It's time to get them to finally 'wake up' Dray...and I need you to help me do that." 

"Oh no! What _exactly_ did you say to them Harry?" Draco said with a groan. 

Harry went on to explain what had transpired at the breakfast table and what his plans were now. Draco listened attentively, a small grin on his face. "So you see, it's time Ron ate his words..." Harry said grinning. 

Draco laughed and shook his head. "Are you sure you're a Gryffindor Harry? You're too cunning to be one you know..." he said chuckling. "However I think it's perfect...but are you sure you want to do this? I thought we agreed not to tell anyone bout us till we were ready." 

Harry grimaced but nodded his head. "If you want the truth...I think it will be a relief. I know it's only been 4 months since we...well...since we 'woke up' as it were and found each other, but honestly I'm tired of all the games now. I want to be with you Dray, not just 'here' whenever it's convenient or we find a few snatches of time." 

Draco sighed and got off the bed pulling Harry into his arms and rest his head against Harry's chest. "I know Harry...I want that too. It's just that...it's not that simple. If we go open bout us, can you imagine what's going to happen? Forget the fact that you're a Gryffindor and I'm a Slytherin...it's that it's 'Potter and Malfoy' that are together..." he said bitterly. 

"I know, the whole school would probably go into shock...either that or kill us while we sleep..." Harry said muttering. "Allright, so maybe we shouldn't exactly 'come out' yet to _everyone_ else...but...I think it's time Hermione and Ron knew. Ron's my dormmate Dray, and he knows I've been 'disappearing' during the weekend nights. He's allready cornered me asking who the 'girl' is that I'm seeing." Harry said with a groan. 

Draco laughed. "He is in for a shock then isn't he.." 

Harry chuckled. "Well it's not exactly as if the subject of me being gay came up Dray. I tried to talk it over with Remus once last year but he wasn't really err...helpful in finding out anything. I thought I was sure Remus is bout as straight as a man can get...though instinct says something way different. Not that I think he would tell me either way." Harry said with a grimace. 

"Well if you ask me, I think you're doing a pretty good job at 'finding out' what it means Potter." he said coyly. 

Harry laughed. "Like you...I've had some great _inspiration_ Malfoy..." he said and pulled Draco into a passionate snog. 

A few moments later with flushed cheeks they broke apart, Draco remembering they had a task yet before them. "Well come on, by the time we get back Weasley and Granger probably will have killed each other anyway. Then we won't have to worry bout them." he said breathlessly. 

Harry groaned while catching his breath. "You're probably right at that. Come on, let's go. Remember now, wait for the signal." he said and slipped back underneath the invisibility cloak. 

"Yeah yeah I remember. We'll switch just before we get the the Gryffindor portrait then." Draco said putting away his art supplies into a special trunk he asked his mother for during the holidays. It was designed so that only he could open it with a special password. 

Fact was it had actually been easy for him not to go home this year. His father he knew was disappointed in him and for good reason. Sometime right after Draco's 16th birthday, Draco seemed to find himself finally able to stand up to his father and his horrible ways. Draco in no uncertain terms told his father that he had no intention of becoming a death eater, not that that had gone over very well. 

His father had ranted, raged and nearly tried to kill Draco during the next day or two of the summer hols until finally Draco had had enough and simply left home. He had snuck out in the middle of the night with all his belongings shrunk down, and taking his broom headed off to wherever he could go that was as far away from Malfoy Manor as he could get. 

Thankfully he knew the way to Diagon Alley, so he went there, took enough galleons out of his vault as he could carry, and got a room at the Leaky Cauldron for the rest of the night. He was a bit afraid of what would happen next, but he didn't lose his head bout the situation and panic. Quite the opposite actually...so he owled the only person he thought could help him. Albus Dumbledore. 

Thankfully Dumbledore wasn't angry with him, and it seemed actually as if he'd almost expected this of Draco. He arrived at the Leaky Cauldron himself to Draco's surprize, and took Draco to a place where he could spend the rest of the summer. It was a small house on the edge of Loch Ness, and the man he'd stayed with was an old friend apparently of Dumbledore's. 

He had spent the next month before school going through a range of different and new emotions and feelings he didn't understand. He still was surprized at how he had stood up to his father like he had, till then he'd never had the guts to do anything like that. It was like suddenly he was infused with new courage and strength he never had before, and he had found he rather enjoyed it. 

He felt a freedom that took his breath away, and during that one month of summer before school started, found that he was human after all. And that he was not a Malfoy any longer. He _could_ laugh, he _could_ feel happiness, and above all...he _could_ feel love...real honest to Merlin love. And when he realized that, his nightly dreams began to turn a strange way, and towards a strange person he never would have expected. 

The last two weeks before term started his dreams turned into waking reality. While walking out near the loch, or just sitting reading a book, or wherever he was...he found that a certain pair of glittering emerald eyes came back to haunt him. The eyes of his enemy for 5 years, and suddenly he realized that he no longer wanted the owner of those eyes as his enemy. 

Of all the things that took place that one month, that realization hit Draco the hardest. It had hit him harder then a bludger and just as fiercely as a tornado. He was in love with his enemy. Harry James Potter. And frankly he didn't know what to do. When the term started he tried to be his usual hating self towards Harry and his friends, but that didn't work for long. 

As Harry had said he had an 'instinct' for people, and Draco's obvious attempts at trying to 'hate' him backfired. Harry saw right through it. Cornering Draco in an old classroom one afternoon after potions class Harry made Draco tell him everything, and Draco received the shock of his life. Turned out that Harry had actually been watching _him_ since middle of 5th year, but had been too afraid to dare act on it. 

Now that everything was on the table so to speak, and Harry realized just how much Draco had 'grown up' or just changed simply, he was free to tell Draco how he felt, and Draco was suddenly the happiest boy in the world. And for the past 4 months since term started, everything had been going just perfectly. During the day they agreed to keep 'hating' each other, and nights were spent in an old abandoned classroom in the astronomy tower where they would talk...and most times...snog until nearly dawn. 

That was until Yule hols however. Draco wasn't going home now, he knew that, so he had stayed, and of course Harry had no choice but to stay. Thankfully only a few others had stayed and no other Slytherin's. Which meant that Draco and Harry moved from their late night classroom, to a more 'suitable' room...Draco's own dormroom. So far they were really not past the snogging stage, and talked more then anything else, but for both of them it was enough at the moment. Draco loved their late night chats on the weekends when they would sit side by side at the windowsill or just sometimes not even talking at all, just holding each other and gazing at the moon and stars. 

Even though the holidays were over they hadn't stopped using Draco's room for their midnight meetings. Harry caved in and told Draco bout the cloak he had, so it became all too easy to slip into the Slytherin commons and down to Draco's private room during the nights. Draco would make it even easier most times by waiting for Harry in the commons and going over to 'open' the portrait himself in the rare times another Slytherin was still awake. 

Not that they would have dared say anything to Draco, noone thankfully had known yet that Draco had cut himself off from his family. Well, his father anyway, he still owled his mother. He had felt guilty leaving her behind, but it was for the best as she herself had said in one of her owls. She loved him, he knew that, but she was too beaten down now by years of Lucius Malfoy's 'rules' to have much power in the household. Though she had managed to convince Lucius to allow Draco to return if he wanted to, he had owled back his thanks, but that he wasn't ready to which she replied she would miss him. 

A tug on his robe alerted him that Harry was trying to get his attention now so he stopped and whispered, "What is it?" 

"We're at the hallway Dray, where's your thoughts at?" Harry said now slipping from underneath the cloak. 

"Oh...sorry wasn't watching. I guess was thinking bout the summer is all. About my mother and father..." he said softly. 

Harry nodded in understanding and pulled Draco into his arms for a moment giving him a tight hug. "Don't worry Dray, it'll work out in the end. The muggles have a saying that I think it pretty appropriate for this...'time heals most wounds'..." 

Draco gave Harry a grateful smile before sighing deeply. "Maybe so...but this is one hell of a big wound to heal Harry..._if_ it ever does at all." 

"Even if it doesn't Draco, I'll still love you you silly git." he said with a special smile he reserved only for Draco. "Now come on, this is one wound I'm going to heal between Ron and Hermione before I end up with two friends who don't want to speak to each other again." 

"And that would be a _bad_ thing?" Draco said teasingly. 

Harry chuckled. "Very. The _last_ time they didn't speak to each other I almost went nutters. Now you know what to do right?" 

Draco nodded. "Yeah I know, wait for the signal before giving them both a heartattack right?" he said grinning. 

Harry groaned. "Well I'm going to assume this isn't going to be 'easy'..but hopefully it'll work out. Hermione I think _might_ understand but Ron..." 

"I'm warning you now Harry, if Weasley tries _anything_ against me..." Draco said muttering. 

"Don't worry, if he _does_ he'll have to go through _me_ first Dray. I know how to handle Ron...I _hope_ anyway..." Harry said with a frown. 

"They're _your_ friends Harry, not mine. But after 5 years I think you _should_ know them pretty well. I just hope this works, for your sake." Draco said. 

Harry nodded. "Agreed. If I go one more day with them like this, hell I'll go become a Slytherin!" he said with a grin. 

Draco laughed. "That's bout as unlikely as _me_ becoming a Gryffindor anytime soon Harry Potter. Though lately....that might _not_ be such a bad idea..." he said. 

"Heh you never know Draco, you never know! Now come on, let's get this over with shall we? Then we can go back to your room and..." Harry said leaving it off there and winked at Draco. 

Draco laughed. "Do our potions homework is that what you mean?" he said coyly. 

Harry laughed back. "Exactly, potions homework!" he said and with that handed the cloak to Draco who slipped under it and together they headed towards the common room, both hoping that their plan would work. 

Neither of them even noticed that a shadow had been in the hallway that had no particular 'form' to attach itself to. Not anything that was visible anyway, not that this 'shadow' needed it. The blue eyed man casting the 'shadow' watched as the two young boys headed off, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight. With a nod of his head he knew that yet again fate was playing it's hand, and that in the end...as Harry himself had said...that indeed time would heal most of the wounds that had been made. 

Not just for the two boys, but for two other people who were also currently finding out just how well time had mended their own old wounds. Even if it meant that a class had to be cancelled for the time being, it had proven to be worth it. And with that as his last thought the blue eyed man went off humming, and thinking that yet again this yule he didn't get what he really wanted....a nice warm pair of socks. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-23 02:20:13 AM 


	21. In Which An Experiment Went Right

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

**_~~~~CHAPTER TWENTY ONE: In Which An Experiment Went Right~~~~_**

Severus eyed his class of 7th years wearily. He didn't know why but instinct was telling him something wasn't exactly 'right' today, and it bothered him that he couldn't figure it out. Glancing round the room now he kept careful watch over what was going on. As usual however, he saw nothing was going as it should have been, so getting up from his desk he started to walk round the room, a scowl on his face. 

"Longbottom, Goyle watch what your doing! Do you fools have a wish this afternoon to end up in hospital wing?" he said glaring at the two boys. "Mr. Longbottom, remind me again how many nettles are you supposed to be adding to this potion?" 

Neville looked at his potions master with a determined look on his face. "Five sir." 

Severus looked back at him with a slight glare then nodded. "Very good. 1 point to Gryffindor. _However_..." he said with a scowl now, "2 points will be deducted from _both_ houses for failing to add the fifth nettle. See that you do _not_ make that mistake again or next time you might find yourselves spending 3 days with boils." 

Neville and Gregory swallowed and nodded at their professor, relief on their faces. Both of them were sure that they were going to get detention for that little mistake and with justification as that. Lately Severus's nerves had been on edge, and his students were paying the price for that. 

Pacing round the room now he observed a few other students not quite paying attention to their cauldrons. "Brown, Patil! 3 points from Gryffindor for chatting while stirring. This potion needs precision and accuracy, not idle chit chat." 

"Vincent Crabbe, this is _not_ the 'let's-hold-hands-with-Ms. Parkinson-underneath-the-table' class. 2 points deducted for not keeping your hands to yourself. Do that in McGonagall's classroom, not _mine_ or you will next find yourselves in detention." he barked out angrily. 

"Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley....well done. 2 points to Gryffindor for being able to actually make a decent potion that _didn't_ explode for a change." he said grudgingly. 

Stopping at the last desk right infront of his own now he leaned over the shoulders of the two students there and checked their potion. Everything looked good but he knew he had to make some comment so he said, "Potter, Malfoy...you're stirring the potion too harshly. This is a delicate potion and does not require the hands of a troll in order to stir it." He then proceeded to take the ladle and show them exactly how to stir the correct way. Before he left the table however, in a voice that only the two boys could hear he said, "See me after class." 

The two boys didn't acknowledge his words with anything more than a slight nod of their heads. Thankfully the rest of the class were too afraid to do more than keep their attentions now on their potions in fear of losing more house points. It was all too clear with them that today Severus Snape was not a man to be crossed. 

Finally the double potions class was up and everyone was more than relieved to leave the classroom. Everyone that was except two of the students who told their friends to go on without them and that they'd catch up. Since their friends were aware that something was up they left and the two boys waited for the potions master to finish what he was doing. 

Five minutes later after making sure that there wasn't anyone else lurking bout Severus looked up from the papers he was grading to the two boys. Getting up he motioned for them to follow him, and together they went out into the corridor to another room a few doors away from the classroom. Severus opened the door gently almost as if he expected something to run out right past him, and seemed relieved when nothing was there. 

Walking in to the room the two boys in tow, he quickly but quietly shut the door behind him. The two boys knew this place well and sat down on one of their favourite sofas near the fireplace, questions on their faces. Severus waved them off a minute and went to open another door off to the side, nodding at someone who was obviously in the room behind before shutting the door quietly and coming back to sit in a chair near the sofa wearily. 

With a sigh he shook his head and groaned softly. "How does he _do_ it?" 

Harry and Draco chuckled knowing exactly what Severus was talking bout now. "Well they both give him good reason to be active that's for sure." Harry said with a grin. 

"No matter how hard I try I just cannot keep up with the three of them." Severus said with a sigh and glanced back to the door, a very odd expression on his face. "But...I suppose I couldn't imagine life without them now." he said softly. 

"You just need a break professor, that's all. Tomorrow's Saturday and a Hogsmeade weekend. Why don't you let Harry and I have a go with them and you two can go off and have a quiet evening together." Draco said. 

"Yeah, that's a good idea professor. I'm sure he'll love to go out, besides you two haven't gone anywhere since..." Harry began but the door to the other room opened right just then and suddenly a blur of motion streaked out of the room heading straight for Severus's chair. 

"Ooff! What the...." Severus said surprized at suddenly finding two strange looking grey things attacking him. "What is going on here? I thought you two were sleeping?" he said glaring down at the two streaks of grey in his lap. 

A slight pouting growl came from the throats of the two grey fluffy fur balls as they looked up at Severus with the cutest expression they could muster. And of course, Severus fell for it, as usual his heart melted and he smiled down at the two. "Oh allright...but after this you two go straight back to bed understand?" 

"Sev? That you? Where are they?" a voice called out from the other room worriedly. 

"Out here with me. Harry and Draco are here too so do come out." Severus yelled back inbetween getting nipped and licked at by the two fur balls. 

Remus Lupin-Snape came from the bedroom with a scowl on his face directed at the two balls of fluff on Severus's lap. "Boys! Honestly! I'm sorry Sev, I thought they _were_ sleeping when you came in." he said with a sigh and sat down on the edge of the chair Severus was in. 

Severus chuckled and waved his hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about it Remus. I could use the break anyway, it seems like I never get enough time with them lately." he said with a sigh while one of the pups chewed on his fingers lovingly. 

"Now don't you start _that_ again Severus Snape. We agreed that you wouldn't stop teaching just because of the boys. You wouldn't know what to do if you had spare time and we both know that." Remus said giving his husband a 'don't-even-argue-with-me-again-on-this' look. 

Severus gave his husband a glare that to anyone else would have sent chills down their spines, but Remus wasn't even phased. "When did it turn from _me_ being right to _you_ suddenly being right hmm? I don't recall saying I _wouldn't_ have stopped teaching, you just automatically assumed I wouldn't." he said with a mutter. 

Remus gave a snort, shook his head and got off the chair arm to walk over to where a small table was set up with drinks. "Fine than. In two months you can take off as much time as you'd like." he said pouring out some drinks for everyone. 

Severus jumped up from the chair with a shocked look on his face dislodging the two cubs who fell to the floor with a yelp. "T-two months? What the bloody hell does that mean?" he stammered now. 

Remus didn't respond right off instead he came back over and served the drinks out. "For christsakes Sev, don't do that to the boys. Orion, Silvius go back to bed now please." he said giving the two cubs a firm look despite the growls of protest from the cubs. "No, don't even try _that_ on me. You can see your father later, now go back to bed!" Remus said again and pointed at the door. The two werewolf cubs gave off a whimper of protest again but did go back to their room and with his wand out Remus spell closed the door behind them. 

Severus eyed his mate wearily before asking again. "Allright Remy what's this bout two months? What do you mean?" he said walking over to where Remus was standing by the fireplace. 

Remus chose to ignore him however for the moment and instead turned to Harry and Draco. "So have you two set a date yet for your wedding?" 

"Err...well....that is..." Harry stammered blushing a bit. 

"July 31st. Though Harry's not sure we should do this on our birthday but I thought it's the perfect date." Draco said in a rush. 

Remus chuckled. "That date always seems to come back as a day of importance doesn't it." he said softly. "It was the day you were both born, the day you both defeated Voldemort....and now the day of your wedding. James would have thought how ironic it would be in this all..." he said thoughtfully. 

"What would my dad think that Remus?" Harry said puzzled. 

Remus looked at Harry and Draco for a moment debating if he should tell them something he'd kept hidden for a very long time now. Finally he said, "Maybe because you're dad had a strange sense of morals Harry. Let's just say I think he'd have been proud at the way you two turned out....very proud indeed." 

"You think so? I wish I'd gotten to know him and mum...just to hear him say that once..." Harry said with a soft sigh. 

"Harry, you're mum and dad were the two most exceptional people I knew. They accepted what noone else would have, even me and Severus together." Remus said giving Severus a quick glance. "And though we weren't exactly all 'close' at the end for varied reasons....I do know that they both wanted what was best for you. And they'd be proud that you've achieved what you have." 

"He's right Harry, look how much you have accomplished this past year. Without you we couldn't have defeated Voldemort. You really were sorted correctly when they put you in Gryffindor." Draco said gazing lovingly at his fiancee. 

"More than you know Draco...more than you know..." Remus said with a slight grin on his face. "Now, was there any reason in particular you wanted to spend an afternoon with two old men and a couple of wolfcubs?" he said with a chuckle. 

"I resent that Remus, I am _not_ old thank you. Just because I'm getting a few grey hairs you think I'm 100 allready." Severus said sitting back down again in his chair with a scowl. "You're not going to avoid the subject forever. And I asked the boys to come here because I also wanted to know their plans. Term ends in 2 months, so if you're planning on using the manor I need to know." he said. 

"Really? You'd let us use the manor professor?" Draco said in surprize. "Sirius was offering his house but...well..." 

Severus snorted. "Black's 'house' as you put it is a flat in Diagon Alley. That is unless you're not planning on inviting more than 2 people to your wedding, by all means feel free to use his 'house'." 

"That flat Severus, is also still half _mine_ incase you've forgotten." Remus said with a scowl and glared at Severus. "However I do admit it's _not_ the right place for a wedding." he said easing up a bit. 

"What do you mean by that Remus?" Harry asked puzzled. 

Remus blanched a bit and coughed while Severus seemed to be scowling even deeper than before. "Err...nothing Harry. It means nothing." he said with a strange expression in his voice. "Anyway, you're free to use the manor if you want to, just give us notice so we can get it ready. It's been...er...a while since we were there..." 

"Oh that's right, the boys were born there weren't they? So it's been a bit over a year since you were there last....you sure the manor is still going to be usable though?" Draco said thoughtfully. 

"We do have servants and house-elves there still Draco. I'm quite sure they are taking care of the manor as they should be. Besides my mother would probably kill them if they didn't." he said muttering. 

Remus chuckled knowing full well what Severus's mother could be like. He'd finally met her just before their wedding over a year ago and she was every bit the woman Severus had described. Tough but the sweetest woman he could meet, considering the fact that he found out the truth bout Severus's mum...that she was a muggle. 

"Sev's right, I know the manor is in good shape. She may prefer Greece these days over England, but I know she's got the manor in shipshape." Remus said. 

"Well that's allright then, I'm sure Sirius won't mind we don't use his flat after all....atleast I hope not." Harry said with a grimace. "Lately he's been ..well....strange..." 

Remus shook his head and snorted. "That what you get when you're dating a man young enough to be your son. How old is Ian? 19? 20?" 

"25 I think, he just looks younger, and if you ask me the two belong together. All they talk bout is their stupid motorbikes and muggle parts. Perfect match." he said shrugging. 

"Yes well, I still say he should have picked someone older but cie la vie hmm?" Remus said. 

Severus glared at Remus for a moment at the use of the french words until he saw a tiny smile play at his mate's lips. Shaking his head he gazed up and said, "_You_ are impossible." he said with a slight grin. 

"Of course...and _you_ wouldn't want me any other way and you know it." he said with a grin. "Boys I think you should head out. By now Hermione and Ron are probably wondring where you've gone off to, though most likely they allready have guessed." 

Harry and Draco nodded and stood up. "Yeah, Ron's still a bit err...having problems with all this but I know he'll come round one day. Oh by the by, him and 'Mione have set their wedding date for June 21st. You both will come right?" Harry said giving Severus a glance. 

"We _will_ be there, don't worry. Now scoot. We'll see you at dinner." Remus said. 

"Oh, actually...that reminds me! Remus, we were thinking that maybe...that is..." Harry began to say but as usual Draco cut him off. 

"That you and Professor Snape would like the night off. You know to go out and have a night by yourselves, and we could watch the boys. It's really no bother for us, you know the cubs love coming to the Gryffindor tower. And tomorrow being a Hogsmeade weekend, we thought we could take them into town and let them run round with Sirius or something. You have to admit he does love the pups." Draco said grinning. 

Harry chuckled at the thoughts of the last time Sirius got together with the cubs. "Draco's right. Sirius may not exactly get along with you professor, but he does adore your sons. So...you think it would be allright?" 

Remus eyed Severus thoughtfully and saw just how much expression was suddenly in his coal black eyes, and how much he really needed this. "Well....I suppose we haven't taken a day off since they were born, and frankly....we _could_ use it. So what do you say Sev? Care for some oh....perhaps....sightseeing?" Remus said trying to keep a straight face. 

Severus looked at Remus and groaned. "Oh no! **_NO_**...**N.O.**! I am _not_ going near that blasted tower again! You can _forget_ it Remus...." Severus said glaring at his lifemate. "No Remus....absolutely _not_!" he said firmly. 

Remus laughed and shook his head and went over putting his arms round his husband. "Actually....I was thinking perhaps of....Kensington..." he said with a grin. 

Severus looked at Remus for a moment then burst out laughing. "Allright you win. Kensington it is." he said softly and brushed a strand of greying hair from Remus's forehead. Turning back to the boys he said, "Be here just before dinner. We'll be ready to go by then." 

"Great! We'll see you later then!" Harry said throwing them both an odd look and taking Draco's hand in his the two boys quickly left the private rooms they had spent alot of the past year in. Even though Harry and Draco were semi used to hanging round them when Sirius wasn't teaching his DADA class, seeing Severus laugh was still a bit strange for the boys. They were probably the only two students that would ever see Severus Snape actually 'relaxed' in his private time, and still live to tell about it afterward. 

Remus and Severus watched them leave both men with smiles on their faces. Severus gently took Remus by the hand and led him over to the sofa the two boys had just occupied, pulling him down onto his lap. He looked at his lifemate tenderly for a moment, thinking just how much this year had affected everyone, not just Harry and Draco. 

Remus's hair was greying more then had a year ago, but it made him look distinguished far as Severus was concerned. He could see that there were more lines of stress on Remus's face though and it concerned him. And now that he thought about it, Remus was paler then he had been even a few months ago. "Remus? Is something wrong?" he asked concerned. 

"Hmm? No, why would you think anything's wrong luv?" Remus said putting his hand on Severus's chest gently. 

"You look tired lately, more then usual even. The boys haven't been too much on you have they?" he said worriedly now. 

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "No Sev, the boys haven't been giving me any trouble really at all. Stubborn like their father maybe...but little trouble." he said. 

Suddenly something began to click in Severus's mind and although he wasn't sure, things began to make sense. "Remus?" he asked softly. 

"Mmm?" Remus said a bit sleepily. 

"You're....you took the potion again didn't you." Severus said quietly, a bit of an accusation in his voice. 

"What potion Sev?" Remus said with a yawn. 

"You know which one I mean Remy. You're going to have cubs again aren't you." Severus said accusingly now. 

Remus sighed and looked up at Severus, a guilty look in his eyes. "Yeah...I am. Are you angry with me?" he said in a small voice. 

Severus gazed down into his lifemates eyes and sighed, shaking his head. "No Remus, I'm not angry. It's just that....you had so much trouble with the boys the last time...I'm worried you won't be able to handle it again. Why Remus? Wasn't the boys enough?" Severus asked quietly. 

Remus sighed and got off Severus's lap and sat down next to him gazing into the fireplace. He was silent a moment before carefully choosing the words he was going to say next. "Sev....there's something...I have to tell you...that I found out recently..." he said slowly. 

"What?" 

"After the boys were born...I got a letter from Haggatha. Apparently...it seems that there was something we err...missed...in the lifebonding we did." Remus said. 

"Missed? What do you mean we missed? If I recall we did everything perfectly." Severus said with a frown. 

"I don't mean missed at the err..time...we bonded Sev. I mean missed as far as informationwise. Something the book didn't say that she found out only recently." he said and got up and walked over to his worn case that was near the door. 

"What exactly did we miss then Remus?" Severus said slowly. 

Remus opened his case and pulled out a small black leather book crested with jewels and bound in gold and silver. It was an appointment book given to Remus by Severus for yule this past year and Remus had cherished it deeply, writing in it almost daily. Silently he flipped through the book until he found what he was looking for, a piece of yellowed parchment and handed it to Severus, who took it with a bit of foreboding. 

_~~~~Pregnancy in Same Sex Werewolves~~~~_

_Until recently it was not even in issue on the male/male or female/female bonding rites of the werewolf. Since werewolves have no preferences in their lifemate bonding it is not uncommon to have same sex binds. However new information has brought several things to light as far as the birthing of cubs to same sex partners. Based on reports of the past 10 years worth of tests on same sex bonds and the ability with the "Fertility Potion" that enables same sex partners to have children, a startling discovery has been made._

_It seems that after the 'Fertility Potion' is rendered active, and a litter is born from the use of the potion, the lifemate bind no longer becomes effective in certain areas. One of those being that the potion negates the ties of death in both partners, essentially meaning that the werewolf or it's partner can die without both of them being affected._

_The other major area of discovery is that the werewolf is made like a normal wolf with only a 2 month birthing period, and the fact that for those two months transformations are in essence 'put on hold', the potion starts to degrade the bloodstream. What the potion essentially is doing by not allowing the transformations to take place is speeding up the werewolf's metabolism to compensate the loss of transformation. _

_This will cause quicker breakdown of the bloodstream and will age the werewolf at a higher rate then normal, cutting the lifespan of the werewolf shorter. In tests done in the last 10 years of same sex couples where the werewolf took the potion only once the lifespan was cut by 1/4. In cases where there were 2 or more birthtimes, that is reduced to 1/3 or 1/2 depending on how many times the potion is used._

_In studies where the werewolf's mate was human and not wolf, the human lifemate would experience certain other changes as well, some subtly, some more obvious. A slight greying of the hair, irritable behaviour, sudden fits of depression or worry without cause or reason, and a strong need to be closer to their lifemates is a few of the issues we discovered. Of course there are other side effects, but those are the major ones we have found in the studies._

_It is highly recommended therefore that should a were/nonwere decide to have children that they take great precaution not to have undue stresses and as much time together as possible since the mates lifespan will be shortened. It is unclear exactly how long that lifespan will be, but from our studies the lifespan can range from anywhere between 5 to 50 years, depending on the age of the werewolf allready. ~~_

Severus finished reading the article with a sickening feeling growing inside him. His instincts had been a bit off lately, just as they had been in today's class, and now he was understanding why. It hadn't been the students he was detecting doing anything wrong....it had just been simply himself. His instincts had been trying to tell him that it was himself who was the problem. And he hadn't listened. "Remus?" he said now looking back up at his lifemate. 

"I'm sorry Sev. I should have told you sooner....but I couldn't. I didn't want to worry you anymore then you allready were at the time. The boys are a wondrful wondrful gift for us...but not enough." Remus said quietly. 

"Am I not enough then anymore? Is that what this is about Remus? Am I not meeting your expectations any longer?" Severus said in a pained voice. 

Remus looked at Severus startled and said, "Oh Sev no! That's not it at all. It's just that....I guess that I want you to have a real family since you didn't have one all your life. And....and this way....when I'm gone....you'll still have more parts of me....to remember...." he said softly. 

Severus looked over at his lifemate with a strange expression in his eyes, and he sighed deeply. Getting up he walked over to Remus and put his arms round him pulling him into a tight embrace. "As if...I could ever forget _you_ Remus Lupin-Snape. I'm not a potions master for nothing you know...if there's a way round this my love, I _will_ find it. I refuse to give you up....not now...not ever..." he said softly and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on his lips. 

Thankfully Severus had no more classes for the rest of the afternoon. Peeking into the boys room and seeing they were finally asleep as they were supposed to be, Severus and Remus headed towards their own room. For the next few hours until they would meet up with Harry and Draco, Severus and Remus enjoyed each other's company with a tenderness and passion they hadn't felt in a long time. And in that time Severus realized something very important, and he began to make his plans knowing that it was the right thing to do. That it was the only left now to do. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

2002-05-23 7:26:45 PM 


	22. Dear Mr. Snape....

**_~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~_**

Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin: 

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs: 

Demeter - ye have little faith luv! I know me track record is horrid bout killing off our lovely adorable Remy...but this time....have faith allright? :grin: 

Hana-Chan - sorry bout that (as Hagrid would say)...didn't mean to confuse you right off like that. Sort of wasn't thinking it would get terribly confusing before you'd figure it out. (call it the effects of having the flu and drugged with all sorts of nasty cough and flu medicines blah!) Don't worry though I know there's alot left to explain as to how and why certain things happened...and they will be explained promise. :) 

Tabbi - heh yeah I suppose I should have cleared that part up...sorry again :( :sigh: Okay this is how I see it as it was for the kids births...they were born as actual 'pups' in werewolf form simply because Remus only had the wolf 2 months of pregnancy. (which is true by the by, real wolves only have 2 months of pregnancy). Because of that they could not transform into 'human' children until they reached a year old, when wolf would catch up so to speak as human standards. Once they were a year old and able to become 'human', they would have all the human tendencies of a one year old child learning how to talk, walk, potty, etc. However, you'll find out shortly not everything goes as planned in some cases. :P 

For those wondring on James's little 'spell'....no he didn't do anything to make Harry and Draco fall in love, that happened on it's own terms. What had happened is simply that James infused some of the 'Gryffindor' spirit into Draco when he was a baby, time released so that when he was old enough he would have the strength to 'fight back' and stand up for what he wanted and believed in. And he did fight back trust me as you'll find out shortly. :) 

Oh and a prewarning...yet again this is jumping round in times. This way I'm not just 'popping' things unexpectedly on you guys :) 

**_~~~~CHAPTER TWENTY TWO: Dear Mr. Snape.....~~~~_**

"Da? Faather...daaaaa! _Wake up_!" a boys voice said pleadingly. 

"Yeah wake up da....father! Come on wake _up_!" another boy said while jumping up onto the bed between the two people in it. 

The two people in the bed groaned at the sudden burst of energy they were currently the recipients of. "What.Is.It." a man's voice said with a scowl trying to pull the duvet over his head. 

"It came! It's here! It's really _here_!" one of the boys said nudging the other person in the bed. "_Do_ wake up da! Father!" the boy said again pleadingly. 

The other person groaned and sat up rubbing his eyes. "Allright we're up allready. As if anyone _could_ sleep with the two of you yelling from the rafters. Now settle down and..._what's _here?" the man said fully awake now. 

"This!" they both said gleefully in unison and shoved two pieces of parchment into their da's hands. 

Remus looked down at the two parchments for a moment before it finally registered why they looked so familiar. Nudging his husband on the shoulder he said, "Sev, get up. It's important." 

"Remus it's 7 am in the bloody morning. There is _nothing_ that's _that_ important that I have to get up for yet when I don't have to be at work till noon. Now sod off the lot of you and let me go back to sleep." Severus said muttering from underneath the duvet. 

"Geeze father you're always _so_ cheerful in the mornings aren't you." one of the boys said with a chuckle. 

"_Only_ when I'm being sat on and annoyed young man. Now go away and let your father sleep." Severus said scowling. 

"Severus I think you _should_ get up. Now." Remus said in a firm tone while stepping back into the conversation again. 

Severus groaned as he heard his husband use that particular tone of voice that meant he was being quite serious about what he wanted. Throwing the duvet back he sat up rubbing his own eyes and yawned. "Fine now what is so damned important that I can't get a moment's peace this morning?" he said sarcastically. 

Remus eyed his mate thoughtfully for a moment before handing him the two pieces of parchment. At first Severus wasn't sure what they were either until he saw the back of them and the crest he'd known so very well. "So...they've come." he said subdued. 

Remus nodded and gave his husband a look before saying, "Boys if you would allow your father and I a moment please? Well meet you downstairs in the kitchen, and try not to wake your sisters." 

"Too late da we're allready up. We could hear them all the way down the corridor. What's come?" a small pretty blackhaired blackeyed girl said with a yawn. 

"Really you'd think the world was coming to an end the way you two are carrying on!" another girl said from behind her, an exact copy of her twin sister. "Honestly it can't be _more_ important then going to Disneyworld next week!" the second girl said huffily. 

The two boys glared at their sisters for a moment before one of them said, "Disney isn't _half_ as important _now_ you silly git!" 

"Orion Michael Lupin-Snape don't you call your sister a silly git!" Remus said glaring at his son. "Now all of you clear out and let your father and I wake up. Be downstairs for breakfast in 10 minutes and not a minute later and I'll expect you dressed." he said sharply and all four of the children scooted away quickly. 

Severus chuckled and wrapped his arms round his husband. "And here everyone thought _I'd_ be the strict one in the family." he said grinning then kissed Remus's neck tenderly. "Mm...good morning my love." 

Remus kissed Severus on the lips gently and said, "Good morning to you too my love. What a way to begin the day eh?" he said grinning now. 

"Oi, tell me about it." Severus said with a slight groan while unwrapping his arms from Remus, and looked back down at the parchments in his hand with a sigh. "Call it strange but...I was almost hoping these _wouldn't _come." 

Remus sighed as well and nodded then climbed out of bed stretching. "Well they have Sev, so what are going to do about it?" 

"I don't know. Do we really have a choice? They're so excited to go Remy...can we really say no?" Severus said getting out of bed himself. 

"Personally I'm not deciding anything till I've had a cup of coffee in me. Can't think straight this early in the morning on a Saturday." Remus said muttering and throwing on his dressing gown. "Meet you downstairs." he said over his shoulder and headed out the bedroom door to the staircase. 

Severus watched his husband go with a guarded look in his eyes. Every night he etched his husband's face into his mind so that first thing in the morning he could see what changes might have happened overnight. It had been 10 years since they had found out about Remus's shortened lifespan, and so much had happened since then. 

Severus had done what he planned on doing the very next day after he'd found out Remus was going to have another litter of cubs. Approaching Dumbledore he laid the cards on the table as it were, and though Albus was reluctant to let him do what he asked, he understood completely. The next two months Severus spent preparing the details of what he planned, and was thankful that everything went smoothly. 

The pups, girls this time, arrived a week earlier then planned, and were all Severus. The boys had grown into carbon copies of Remus with brownhair streaked with grey and golden brown eyes. But the girls were blackhaired, black eyed and all Slytherin it seemed from the get go. Once they got past their first year they refused to transform into their cub form and actually they didn't need to. 

For some odd reason Severus still couldn't figure out, the girls were not bound by the moon cycle, and didn't transform at the full moon. The boys they had found out after the first year when they finally came out of pup form were most definitely werewolves, but the girls were not. They had had a specialist from St. Mungo's check over both of the girls, and the only thing they found was that the werewolf strand of DNA just didn't exist in them. Which actually was a relief to both Remus and Severus because the boys being werewolves were more than enough to handle at once. 

It had come as quite the surprize to everyone nearly that on the last day of the term in which the girls were born, Severus Snape announced his retirement from teaching. They all moved out of the school the day after term ended and into Snape Manor which is where they still were now 10 years later. He had chosen Draco Malfoy (now Draco Potter) to take over as his successor, and he had every confidence that Draco would be up to the task. 

Harry and Draco had married as they said they would on July 31st right after graduation. Thanks to Voldemort's demise during the end of Harry and Draco's 7th year, the wizard world was free again. Harry and Draco, along with Sirius, Remus, Severus and most of the Hogwarts staff fought hard and in the end were well rewarded. The injuries were minimal compared to Voldemort's side, for which everyone was grateful. Harry and Draco together cast the Avada Kedavra curse amplifying the intensity of the curse, and once and for all Voldemort was no more. 

Draco had ended going against his father in the end after all, and Lucius Malfoy was currently in St. Mungo's ward of the incurably insane. It had been Draco himself that had hexed him to the point of no return. Payback he felt for the rottenly miserable childhood in which he'd lived. 

Narcissa Malfoy left Malfoy Manor for parts unknown. She still kept in touch with her son, and had warmed a bit after her husband no longer held control over her, even attending her son's wedding to Harry. Draco never returned to Malfoy Manor, instead lending it over to a cousin of his he actually liked, though he did take whatever was his by rights in the family vault at Gringott's. 

Harry was currently a seeker for the Chudley Cannons while Draco was still a Hogwarts potions professor. Thanks to some strings being pulled by Severus, 2 years ago Draco Potter was awarded the prestigious Potions Master award for that year, and Draco and Harry couldn't have been happier. 

They didn't have any children as of yet, both too busy to really raise children, but Severus and Remus were pretty sure they would one day. When Harry wasn't out on the pitch he spent his time exclusively at Hogwarts in the same dungeon room that Severus and Remus had first occupied all those years ago. And during the holidays the two of them would take off themselves for parts unknown, coming back completely and utterly still very much in love. 

Ron and Hermione married as planned on June 21st that same year Harry and Draco married. Their wedding was small compared to Harry and Draco's, but very well done none the less. At the moment Hermione was pregnant again with their 4th child, and she was working in the ministry on a study team of researchers into making muggle items more useful for wizards. Now that Arthur Weasley, Ron's father, was head of the Ministry Ron had taken over his old job. Thanks to Severus and Remus, they had a very nice home outside of Ottery St. Catchpole, just opposite the Burrow so they could be close to Ron's parents. 

Sirius had finally been cleared when Arthur became head of the Ministry, receiving a full pardon and a nice compensation cheque for his missing 12 years of life....a million galleons. He never had settled down with anyone, dating whomever took his fancy at the moment and worked still on his various motorbikes. Currently he was last seen heading over to America in hopes of purchasing a new type of a 'Harley'. Whatever that was Severus and Remus hadn't a clue. 

As for Severus and Remus themselves, life couldn't have been better. Not that it had been easy raising two sets of twin children, but Severus wouldn't have traded it for the world. They had never lied to the children in exactly who and what they were, both wizard and witch, not to mention being werewolves. Severus and Remus had decided however not to teach the children magic, in fact they had stopped using much magic themselves at home unless needed. 

Severus of course still was a Potions Master, and 5 years ago had decided to take his knowledge to a place it could be most used. Approaching Arthur Weasley with a proposal, he was grateful when Arthur gave him the go head right away. In fact Arthur had been astonished when he realized the Ministry hadn't any department like the one Severus was thinking of creating. 

Severus hand picked an elite team of potion experts from round the world. In the end only 5 other people made up the 6 man/woman team of top secret researchers. They were instructed by him to never reveal what went on behind the closed doors of the office in which they worked, and in five years not one of them had betrayed Severus's trust. Anything over the last five years they had created or improved were approved in the end by Arthur, and all proceeds of any sales of the potions went to the ministry, after of course his staff got paid. 

Not that Severus needed the money, he didn't. When his mum had passed on 4 years ago at the nice muggle age of 96 she left everything to Severus. That included a private Gringott's vault she had been living off of, the Manor itself, several homes in Greece, Italy and Egypt, along with a very nice chateau in France that she had come into possession of somehow. Severus kept all of them but the chateau, the very thought of anything french brought back memories he never wanted to have again. 

As it was the money he received for the potions work went for other things. He donated a lot of it to Hogwarts of course, the place he would always consider home, where he had spent nearly all his life, and where he had fallen in love. Some of the money he had given to Ron and Hermione to help them magically build their home. And the rest went on anything else that struck his fancy, or just simply sat in Gringott's till he would need it. 

What he never revealed to anyone was the whole reason behind why he had set up the research team in the first place. For Arthur's sake he created the potions that enabled them to continue their research, but that wasn't the biggest thing they had been working on. Thanks to Severus the research lab was completely updated with both muggle and wizarding instruments and apparatus as possible. With Sirius, Harry and Hermione's help a few years ago, he even managed to learn to use a muggle computer thing, and he wondred how he'd ever lived without one to organize his research. 

It had been 5 years since beginning the research he'd started with his team, and it had been 5 years of alot of disappointments and failures. But Severus Snape wasn't a man to give up on what he wanted, and he knew somehow he would find what he so desperately needed to have. Bringing himself back into the present however now he shook off the nagging thought that Remus had had more grey in his hair this morning, though it could have been a trick of the light...he hoped anyway. 

Throwing on a pair of muggle shorts and a teeshirt he headed himself downstairs, only to find he was the last one to come downstairs. He gave Remus a quick kiss on the cheek as Remus handed him a cup of coffee, then sat down and opened this mornings _Daily Prophet_. Scanning the front page he nearly choked on his coffee. "Holy shit!" he said sputtering. 

"Father said a baaaad word! Aren't you going to yell at him da?" Silvius, the other twin boy, said with a giggle. 

"Really Severus, you know not to talk like that round the children." Remus said in a clipped tone and put two plates down infront of the boys. "Now stop giggling at your father and eat your breakfast please." he said and walked over to where Severus was sitting. "Sev what is it?" 

Severus was sitting staring at the newspaper as if it was going to come up and bite him. "I...don't...believe it..." he said in an awestruck voice. 

Remus leaned over his husband and scanned the front page wondring what Severus was so agitated bout. When his eyes fell on a particular article he reacted pretty much the same way and said exactly the same thing, causing the boys to giggle yet again and the girls to just roll their eyes. 

"Honestly da, what is it that's got you and father in such a flurry?" Misha said staring at both her parents. 

"I bet it's something really bad, they never curse less it's bad..." Ryanna said shrugging and going back to finish her breakfast. 

"It's not anything _bad_ children....just something...unexpected is all." Severus said slowly and turned to Remus. "I take it you didn't know bout this either?" 

Remus shook his head and sat down in the chair next to Severus. "No I didn't. But...wouldn't he have said something to us sooner? I mean...if he expects er...well..._that_...shouldn't he have said something by _now_?" 

"Trust _him_ to wait until the very last moment for something like this. And announce it first so we _can't _back out. Oh honestly that man drives me insane sometimes with how he maneuvers us!" Severus said with a scowl. 

"And it's good to know I still can Severus. Otherwise I'd have to say I _am_ getting too old." an amused voice said from behind them causing everyone to nearly jump out their seats. 

"Albus for Merlin's sake, _don't_ sneak up on us like that!" Severus said with a groan as he noticed Orion had upturned his glass of pumpkin juice. "Now look what you did, atleast be so kind as to help my son clean up the mess _you_ caused Albus." he said folding his arms over his chest and glaring at the headmaster. 

Albus chuckled and with a quick mutter of a spell the glass was back upright, the juice cleaned up, and new juice was repoured. "Truely am sorry about that Orion." 

"It's allright Uncle Albus, you just surprized us that's all. What are you doing here? Are you here because we got our acceptance posts this morning?" Orion said happily. 

"So _that's_ what you two were on bout this morning! Atleast it proves your not squibs after all..." Misha said with a mocking grin. 

"Hey! Shut up, we're _not_ squibs! You just wait and see, we'll run circles round the two of you when you get to Hogwarts!" Silvius said with a glare at his younger sister. 

"We'll just see bout that Silvius James Lupin-Snape! You just watch..._we'll _be the one's running circles round the two of _you_!" Misha bit back but was stopped before she could say anymore by her da. 

"Enough all of you! Since you decided _not_ to finish your breakfasts, take your plates to the sink and go finish getting ready for the day. We've got alot to do today and I don't want to be late doing it. Now run along so we can talk to Uncle Albus." Remus said in his 'I-mean-business' tone of voice and the children did as they were told and soon only the three of them were left in the kitchen. 

"The certainly are well behaved aren't they considering things." Albus said with a twinkle in his eyes. 

"Hmph. I wouldn't say that by any means Albus. It's bad enough the boys are allready turning into..." Remus began. 

"Marauders?" Severus said cutting him off with a grin. 

Remus glared at his husband then a slow grin crept onto his face and he nodded. "Yeah...they certainly are aren't they." he said softly. 

"Would you have expected less Remus? They are _your_ son's after all." a bemused Albus said. 

Remus shook his head and chuckled. "No, I suppose not. Though I suppose the 'true' marauders will never be again...." he said with a reminiscent sigh. 

"Remus I'm sure when they get to Hogwarts they'll find a way to bring them back. Call it the 'next generation'." Severus said giving his husband a small reassuring smile then turned back to Albus. "Now Albus, what is _this_?" he said pointing to the _Daily Prophet_. 

"You're not _seriously_ going to do this are you?" Remus said giving Albus the once over look he gave his children when they were hiding things or being bad. 

"I think it's time don't you? Over 50 years is a long time gentleman, and I can honestly say that now _is_ the right time for me to do this. Minerva and I have discussed it at great length, and we have every faith in what we have decided." Albus said firmly. 

"But Albus...are you sure? It's been 10 years...I'm not even sure I could do it anymore. I have barely even used magic in the last 10 years let alone something like _this_...." Remus said in an unsure voice. 

"Nonsense. You never stop knowing how to _use_ magic, even when you haven't for a while. I have confidence that everything _will_ work out for the best." Albus said. 

Remus didn't seem so sure all of what was being discussed was a good idea and Severus knew exactly why he was thinking that. "Remus could you go make sure the children are getting ready to go? I need to talk to Albus a minute...privately." he said. 

Remus shot Severus an odd look before saying, "Allright, but don't be too long we have things to do today." Turning back to Albus he looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and said, "Albus, much as I agree in theory that this is a good idea...in factual it would never work. I'm sorry but the answer is no. Pop round when you're not trying to play Merlin and we'll catch up then." he said firmly and turned round and headed out the kitchen shutting the door behind him. 

Severus sighed as he watched his husband leave and shook his head. "He's right Albus, the answer's no. If you're planning on still doing this, find someone else. We're not interested. It's too late anyway...." he said with a deep sigh. 

Albus looked at his friend for a moment carefully and noticed a few changes since he'd last seen this man a short few months ago. Severus's once jet black greasy looking hair was now lined with grey and looked soft and silky. The were much more lines round his eyes from stress and worries then should have been for a man in his early 50's. Though his attitude has soften considerably in the last 10 years, he still had the Slytherin way of thinking sometimes, and was still as stubborn and ornery as could be. 

"Severus, I know what you thinking and you're wrong." Albus said softly. 

Severus shook his head and got up from the table with his coffee mug and went over to the sink, standing there for a moment with his shoulder's slumped. "No Albus I'm not. In 5 years we've gotten only a little closer to a solution...and we're running out of time. Each day he gets weaker...each day he gets..." he couldn't even continue his words since his voice choked up at the thought of the failures. 

"Severus listen to me. You are one of the greatest Potion Masters that I have ever met, and in my long life that's saying quite alot. I know you will find what you seek...and perhaps...this might help..." he said quietly and got up to walk over to Severus, holding out a piece of parchment he'd taken from his robes. 

Severus turned round brushing away the tears that had started to fall and took the parchment questioningly. "What is this?" 

"Just read it. You haven't been the only one in the last 5 years to want to help him Severus. I've been making discrete inquires as well amongst people I know....and though it's taken time, this is what they have come up with." Albus said. 

Severus opened the parchment hesitantly and scanned through it quickly then stopped short. Going over the carefully diagrammed calculations, the recipe and the words an excitement began to spread through him. He looked up at Albus in disbelief. "My gods...I don't believe it...this...this could work!" he said awed now. 

Albus chuckled and gave him one of his famous twinkled smiles. "I hope it will Severus, I truely hope it will. Now I will take my leave and we will talk again further on this other issue. Perhaps next week?" he asked. 

Severus was still too awed to say much but he remembered that next week was not a good idea. "No, we promised the children to go that muggle err...park whatever it is...Disneyworld? Gods know why but they want to go so we won't be here next week. And I'll need time to get this ready....and make sure it will work. Give me till the end of the month, by then I should know some results." 

Albus nodded. "The end of the month then. And Severus?" 

"Yes Albus?" 

"You will allow the children to attend Hogwarts this coming term I hope? We both know it's where they belong, even if you have tried to shelter them a bit." Albus said softly. 

Severus sighed deeply, unsure of what to say. "For good reasons Albus. It was hard enough having one werewolf at the school 40 years ago...but _two_ werewolves at the same time with noone there who would understand them...that's asking alot more than Remus and I are willing to give. Despite all the advances we've made thanks to Arthur, werewolves are still mistreated and given far less then they should have. Can you _really_ see the two of them at Hogwarts?" he said bitterly. 

Albus sighed and walked over to put a hand on Severus's shoulder reassuringly. "I know it will not be easy to overcome thousands of years of fear and hatreds, but if anyone can it will be those two boys. I have as much faith in your children as I have in _you_ Severus. Good luck." he said and seconds later he was gone. 

Perhaps Albus was right, the boys had grown up knowing the hardships of what they were and that life wasn't going to be easy on them. Unlike Remus who had been thrust into the life he had, the boys had been given a rare opportunity to accept what they were right away, and with the Wolfsbane potion they had never known a day of being anything but a silent tame werewolf during their transformations. And maybe...just maybe...that _would_ be enough. Remus had found his marauders back then, and maybe now so would the boys. Atleast he would hope so. 

Severus looked down at the parchment one last time and folded it back up, hiding it in a pocket of his shorts. Checking the muggle wall clock that Hermione had given to them years ago as an anniversary gift he saw it was close to 9 am allready. He knew the rest of the research team wouldn't arrive at the office till noon, but he had no intentions of waiting. 

Sprinting up to where Remus and the boys were he apologized to them and told them he had to go into the office early and that he'd catch up with them later for dinner. He hid his excitement from them because he didn't want them to suspect anything was too much out of the norm since as it was he was going into the office 3 hours early. Giving the children quick hugs and Remus a kiss on the lips, he dashed off to their room to get dressed. 

These days he no longer dressed in the all black and somber garb that he did 10 years ago. Choosing a nice grey dress shirt and matching trousers, he threw on his green and silver lined robe and quickly apparated out to the Ministry. There was a new hope for the future in his heart, one that hadn't been there in 10 years now. And if all went well....then the future could begin again for him and Remus....and everything Severus ever wanted would finally come true. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

24-May-02 3:27:15 PM 


	23. In Which Time And Love Healed All

_**~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~**_

  
Of course, all mentions of canon people, events, etc are JKRs. Anything else is mine, I claim them! :grin:

Cheers to all me readers and reviewers! :hugs:

If anyone's interested, I've started a yahoogroups called fiction_works. You can find it at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fiction_works/?yguid=105874574 and hopefully it will be a great place to get updates, look for betas, plug your fics, host your artwork, find/create SHIPS...or whatever else you'd like to discuss or do. If you don't allready have a yahoogroups ID it's quick and easy to sign up for one and of course, free. If you have any trouble signing up let me know, otherwise hopefully we'll get enough people aboard to have a really fab group! :)

As for me next fic, I can't say yet. I'm currently going to restart again on Old Masters, New Tricks which is a Sev/OCF fic (no she's not by any means a Mary-Sue, she's an unpredictable, annoying, and almost female version of our lovely Sev...which makes her as unperfect (untechnically of course! :grin:) as you can get! She's not a blondehaired, blueeyed, git (hopefully)). Anyway I hope you like her for those of you going to read it.

As for me next HP/DM fic, yes I am currently working on something. I pulled Somebody Who Cares at the moment for reedits, and with another fic I started months ago I might do a 'combo' effort and see where it goes. It won't start out all sappy and sweet I warn you, it will be a bit darker and similar to Somebody if anyone did read the start of that one. For once I want to do something 'unexpected' of me :P So be on the look out for something soon. If you want to email me and go on the updates list, I'll email you when I put it out.

And with saying that this is the final chapter in AEGW. I never thought when I restarted this fic I would end up with 23 chapters...or that anyone would even like it! However I am glad you did (hope you did anyway!) and I know that I'll be writing more Sev/Remus again so don't worry. I just adore these two with a passion! :)

_**~~~~CHAPTER TWENTY THREE: In Which Time And Love Healed All~~~~**_

  
"I'm bored....I hate when it snows like this." Harry said with a pout.

"I know, there's just _nothing_ to do when it's snowing this hard....we can't even go out and play Quidditch!" Draco said crankily.

"Stop being such gits, there's _plenty_ to do....._if_ you know where to look..." Remus said with a mischevious grin.

"Yeah Remy's right..._I_ know something we could do too!" Severus said grinning as well.

"Allright then, what's so special that we could possibly do in this godforksaken place on a day like this eh? Why of all days did it have to snow anyway....just when we got our new Swiftriders!" Draco said annoyed.

"Oh stop whinging you git you'll get to ride your stupid brooms tomorrow. Sides, it's only a _broom_ for Merlin's sake. I'm talking bout _exploration_ here!" Remus said conspiritorially.

"Exploration? What _kind_ of exploration? You know your da doesn't like us wandring round like that..." Harry said sternly.

"Oh lighten up Harry. Dad only doesn't want us to go wandring down into the _dungeons_....but he _never_ said we couldn't go to the _attic_ now...did he..." Severus said with a huge grin.

"The _attic_?! What on earth is so important in the bloody attic? It's all just old _junk_!" Draco said haughtily.

"Yeah....but it's really _cool_ junk Dray! All _sorts_ of neat things we can do up there, trust me. Sev and I used to go there alot when we were younger and were bored, didn't we Sev." Remus said.

"Yeah, there's trunks and trunks of stuff like clothes and books and...Quidditch gear...." Severus said grinning at Harry and Draco.

"Quidditch gear?" Draco and Harry said at the same time, their interests peeked. "You've got that up there too?" Harry said.

"Yup! Course...if you'd rather just stay here and play some more Exploding Snap or chess we _can_ do that...." Severus said with a mock sigh.

"Hell no! Let's go do some exploring then!" Draco said allready heading towards the door. "Well? What are _you_ waiting for? Let's go!" he said grinning.

Severus and Remus laughed and all 4 boys headed out towards the back staircase of the manor quietly so they wouldn't draw attention. It was the Yule hols and their parents were decorating the manor for the occasion. A huge Yule Ball had been planned for later that night and servants and house-elves were everywhere cleaning and putting up things, and the last thing the boys wanted was to be caught doing something they shouldn't be doing. Not that they weren't allowed normally to 'explore' the manor when they were there, but today wasn't the best day to be caught doing it with all the preparations.

They got to the attic nearly 10 minutes later half panting from the running and hiding they had had to do from everyone. "For Merlin's sake...why...is this place...so bloody _big_? I"ll take our small house anyday!" Harry said catching his breath.

"Bad luck?" Severus said catching his own breath.

"Hey this is one of the most noted manor's in all of the wizarding world thank you much...give it some respect for Salazar's sake..." Remus muttered recovering his breath. "Come on, attic's right down this way!" he said heading off.

The four of them walked up to a huge set of double doors that were made out of teakwood and had green and silver laticework adorning it. Luckily the hinges still seemed to be oiled enough where only the slightest squeek was let out when Remus opened them up.

"Well gentleman...welcome to the attic of Snape Manor!" Remus said with a grin.

"Whoa! This place is _huge_ Remy! Wicked!" Harry said impressed now. 

"It must run the whole length of the manor or something...cool!" Draco said awed.

"Actually it runs _almost_ the length of the manor...atleast from what we've managed to figure out over the years. We've never gone all the way to the back before though..." Severus said thoughfully.

"Why on earth not? It's not like you haven't had enough time to explore this place when you two were growing up..." Harry said.

Remus and Severus looked at each other for a moment with a strange look in their eyes. "It's hard to explain but....there's something bout the back of the attic that's just...well...strange..." Remus said carefully.

"What...like ghosts or something? Come on you _can't_ be scared of that! We see ghosts at school everyday!" Draco said scoffingly.

"Yeah right, like we'd be scared of ghosts..." Severus said huffily. "It's _not_ that...and it's not as if we're really _scared_ to go back there....we just...don't...that's all."

"Well if not ghosts, then what _is_ it?" Draco said putting his hands on his hips.

Remus and Severus sighed and shook their heads. "If you really want to know...I guess we _could_ show you...." Remus said quietly.

"Don't say we didn't warn you though..." Severus said fidgeting now.

"Oh come on, bunch of silly gits you are! I bet it's nothing..." Harry said heading towards the back of the attic now, and the other boys began to follow.

10 minutes later they arrived at another set of double doors, though these were far different then the ones they had come through earlier. Made of a heavy mahogany oak with a reddish brown tinting with green, silver, red and gold laticework climbing like ivy on the sides of the doors and even on the wall. But that's not what interested the boys, not in the least. It was what was on the doors that interested them because they knew they'd seen these things before.

Four crests were placed on the doors, 2 on each side of the double doors. On the right side of the doors was the crest of a golden rearing lion with a crown placed on it's head. The other crest on the same door just below the first one was of a coiled serpent ready to strike. On the leftside door the first crest was of a pair of wolves one grey and one black. While the crest just below that was of two wands crossed, sparks of red and gold flying out of the tips.

"Whoa....I know those two crests! That's the Gryffindor and Slytherin house crests! I've seen them at school!" Harry said pointing to the door on the right.

"But what are the other two? I've never seen them before...." Draco said puzzled.

"Well....the ones on the left door are family crests. The one on top is the Lupin-Snape family crest....the one on the bottom....is...err" Remus said shuffling his foot.

"Is what?" Harry asked curiously.

"It's the Potter family crest....from what we've gathered..." Severus said slowly and looked at his two friends.

"Po-Potter family crest? You mean..._my_ family has a crest? Wicked!" Harry said awed now.

"Wait a minute...I do remember something now Harry...in the drawing room at the house I remember a photo album that mum has. She didn't know I found it cause I replaced it pretty quick, only got a glimpse really...and in one of the photo's there's this really really old guy wearing a robe with that crest on it. I bet it's one of our ancestors!" Draco said excitedly.

"Cor really? How come our parents never tell us bout our family? It's like there's something wrong with us or something I swear..." Harry said muttering. 

"Hey don't worry Harry, our parents are like that too. They never talk bout the family, it's like it's a disease or something." Remus said with a chuckle.

"Well come on, let's not stand round here all day we've only got 5 hours till the ball. Are we going in or not?" Severus said glancing at the doors.

The other 3 boys nodded and each of them began to pull on the two black rings that held the doors closed. Only to their dismay the doors wouldn't budge. "Geeze! Is it gummed up or something? Why won't they bloody open?" Draco said panting.

"Maybe because you don't know the password hmm?" a voice said amusedly from behind them causing them to jump and turn round guility.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" Remus said fidgeting.

The blackhaired man with a noticably grey streak in his hair looked at the boys through his coal black eyes speculatively for a moment then grinned slightly. "One of the house-elves saw you heading out of your room and I figured you were just bored enough by now to end up here. Either that or the dungeons and I figured you wouldn't go there." he said with a grin.

"Awe dad...we _were_ bored. We're sorry, didn't _mean_ to...." Severus began quietly while gazing down at the ground in guilt.

The man gave a dismissive wave of his hand and looked at the boys. "No don't be sorry Sev. I suppose I'm the one that's sorry, I should have told you and Remus about this place years ago....but your mum's been so insistant on trying to maintain a 'normal' lifestyle...as if that could really ever happen for our two families." he said with a sigh.

"What do you mean by that Professor Snape?" Harry asked questiongly.

"Perhaps...it is time I showed you who and what this family really is. Not to mention who the two of _you_ are." the man said looking at Harry and Draco now.

"The two of _us_ sir?" Draco said surprized.

"Yes. Who you're descended from....who they were and what they did for this world of ours. Something that never should have been left to only books and legends. Are you ready to learn to learn the truth boys?" the man said quietly.

The four boys nodded in unison. "Yes." they said together.

Professor James Sirius Lupin Snape, Headmaster of Hogwarts, father of Remus and Severus Snape knew this right time do what he was about to do. The boys were 16 now, and at the age where they should know who they were, and what had happened in the world all those years ago. So much had happened though he didn't know where to begin, but he knew it all began behind these doors. The truth of what happened all that time ago was here, and only here locked away from prying eyes and ears.

"Wolfsbane." James said slowly and in response the double doors shook for a moment then began to creak open slowly and he and the boys headed inside the darkened room.

The moment they walked in candles lit themselves in their scones, illuminating the windowless room with a golden daylight. There was a hush in the room as if they'd been the first people to step foot in this place in a long time, and indeed it was. It had been 40 years ago when a young James Snape had been caught by his father attempting to get into this room, and since then noone had been here till now.

It was Harry who first noticed the odd things hanging round the room and let out a gasp of surprize. "Brooms! Blimey will you look at those brooms!" he said going over and examining them slowly. "Draco come here! You're not going to believe this...it's a Cleansweep! And a Nimbus 2000...and...."

"And a Nimbus 2001...and a Firebolt....and check it out...a Comet! A real Comet!" Draco said awed.

James chuckled and shook his head. "Pretty impressive eh? That's not just any collection of brooms mind you....go ahead and read the plaques on them." he said with a grin.

Harry, Draco, Remus and Severus began to read each plaque attached to the floating brooms.

_The Cleansweep Series_

_A popular broom used even through the mid 1990's. Widely used for it's easy in ability even the most unskilled rider would have little problem controlling this broom. Popular to use to teach beginning flyers. This particular broom is the very same one that James Potter used during his years at Hogwarts School to win the Quidditch Cup all 7 years that he attended. He earned a plaque at the school for his chaser abilities and was widely known as one of the greatest chasers in Hogwarts History._

_The Nimbus 2000/2001 Series_

_Swifter and lighter then the old Cleansweeps, it's movements were unparalled during the later half of the 20th centruy. This Nimbus 2000 is a replica of the one in which the famous Harry Potter first used when he was only a 1st year Seeker on the Gryffindor House Team. The Nimbus 2001 here is the actual broom in which Draco Malfoy himself used while a Seeker for the Slytherin House Team, and the very same one he used to win the House Quidditch Cup for Slytherin._

_The Firebolt Series_

_Several models were made of the Firebolts during the early part of the 21st Century, however none were comparable to the original. The fastest, lightest, most manoveurable broom made during the time it could outfly even the Nimbus 2001's in a second. This is the very same broom in which Sirius Black gave to Harry Potter in his 3rd year as Gryffindor House Seeker. Harry used it to eventually win the Gryffindor House Cup in his 5th, 6th and 7th years of Hogwarts. Harry Potter earned a Hogwarts School Plaque just like his father for his exceptional abilities in being a school Seeker._

_The Comet Line Series_

_The Comet Line was the most uniquely designed broom ever built to date, and exclusive for Seekers. The merest touch would be enough to send this broomstick anywhere on the Quidditch Pitch that you needed to go. However due to it's extreme sensitivity this broom was pulled from the market for a time for refits. It was found that during moves such as the Wronski Feint that if the Seeker removed both hands from the broom they would be sent sprawling to the ground instantly. _

_Harry Potter was the first to find this out unfortunately as he was known for his unusal Snitch catches by removing both hands from the broomstick at given times. Breaking several of his bones in the process the Comet Broom Company was profusely apologetic and refitted the broom with Harry Potter's specialized instructions. There were no further problems after that and the Comet Line Series became the most popular Seekers broom ever built. This broom however is the actual first Comet that Harry Potter tested while he was a professinal Quiddich Player with the Chudley Canons before finding out of the flaws.   
**DO NOT USE FOR RISK OF INJURY!**_

  
"Whoa!!!! These are the _actual_ broomsticks?" Harry said almost reverantly.

James chuckled and nodded. "Yup, the very ones in which James and Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy used while they were at Hogwarts. Well, not the Nimbus 2000, that was destroyed from what I understand by a very fierce tree you all know as the Whomping Willow which still stands just outside the school. But I do believe it is a perfect replica of his original one."

"Hey...what's this dad?" Remus said uninterested in the brooms and finding a small black box instead, holding it out for the others to see.

"Ahh...now that's a particular interesting piece you've got there son. Go head and open it up." James said with a smile.

Remus did as his dad said and peered into the box. All he saw however was a small red sliver of something he couldn't place. "What is it?" he asked puzzled.

"That son, is a piece of the famous 'Philosopher's Stone'." James said.

"The Philosopher's Stone? I thought that was just a myth?" Draco said.

James shook his head. "'Fraid not. It was very real, and very dangerous. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley nearly lost their lives trying to protect that stone. In the end however it was destroyed for the better good by the people who created it, Albus Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel."

"Cor so it was all real? We're they _really_ only 11 when this all happened?" Harry said skeptically.

"Yes they were Harry. It was the very end of their 1st year at Hogwarts when it all happened. Harry Potter faced his nemesis Voldemort in the dungeons of the school and thankfully using the power of Love Magic, was able to hold off Voldemort's return to power. Flamel himself gave Harry Potter that sliver of stone as a reminder of the good that had come out of such a horrible event." James said.

"Dad? Who are all these people?" Severus said coming from another area of the room with a large book in his hands.

James took the book from Severus's hand and sat down on a trunk nearby with the initals R.J.L. on it. "Ah, I see you've found the family album Sev. Good show." he said grinning.

"Family album? We _have_ one of those?" Remus said excitedly his brown eyes glittering.

"Of course we do Remus, why wouldn't we?" James said.

"Guess I never really thought about it. Mum never talks bout the family history." Remus said sitting down on the trunk next to his father.

"Well, your mum doesn't exactly like to dwell on the past boys. There were alot of dark things that happened back then. And our ancestors....were right there with the best of them." James said opening the book to the picture of a messy raven haired man in glasses and of a redhaired woman holding a tiny raven haired baby and waving and smiling at the camera happily.

"Really? You mean _our_ family once practised dark magic?" Severus said dumbstruck.

James nodded. "Dark times called for dark measures son. And we weren't the only family to use the dark against the dark. The Potters did too. And the Malfoy's were one of the worst users of dark magic ever. Right up there with Voldemort himself." he said looking over at Harry and Draco.

Harry and Draco let out astonished squeeks. "No way! How could that be?" Draco said refusing to believe it.

James sighed and looked down at the first page of the photo album on his knees. "I suppose I should start at the beginning, because that's really the only place to start. The history books of today don't accurately depict what really happened back then, but the notes and diaries and photos here in these trunks that belonged to all of our ancestors..." he said tapping the one he was sitting on and pointing to the others in the room. "They tell the true story."

"What is the true story dad?" Severus said sitting down on the one of the other trunks, one with the initials S.S.S. on it. Harry and Draco followed suit sitting down on a trunk with the initials H.J.P. on it.

"Well...the tale begins over 400 years ago....during what was to become called the 'The Dark Ages'....and what would happen to once and for all put an end to the evils that plagued the wizarding world. And the men and women responsible for bringing about what we call now the 'Age of Peace' were none other than..." James began, and for the next few hours the tales of the past began to weave themselves through pictures and words.

_**~~~~~**_

  
A year later Harry and Draco Potter and Severus and Remus Snape graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and they had never forgotten the tale that the Headmaster had told them during that Yule holiday. After that day in the attic they went back there a few times, learning who they were and why they had the names they did. From those days on they had become prouder of who they were, and what their families had done for the world. 

They wanted to be just like their ancestors, and even recreated the group called the 'marauders' in secret. Though Harry and Draco had been Gryffindor's, and Remus and Severus had been Slytherins they had been best of friends since the day they had met on the first train ride 7 years prior. They had never met before being that the Potters had lived in a place called Godric's Hollow and the Snape's family manor was in Kent, but they had heard of each other and found they had alot in common. 

The fact that they were fraternal twin sets, that they all had had snowy owls with them, and that they were both from ancient wizarding lines created a bond with these four boys that lasted through thick and thin. And now that they knew that thier two families were interconnected in other ways, they knew they would never let the past slip away again. These two families were meant to be together, and not surprizingly...in the end they were.

They bought a house together in Hogsmeade two years after graduation. Harry and Draco worked for the ministry under the supervision of a man named Patrick Dursley. Apparently while sorting through the diaries of Harry Potter they found that he was a distant relation of the Potters, a descendant of a cousin named Dudley Dursley. This cousin had given birth to a wizard child and Dudley had finally come to terms with having another 'freak' in the family. Their son married a witch after he left Hogwarts and he never went back into the muggle world again nor did any of the Dursley descendants. 

As it had happened several professors had left the school that year including the potions and DADA teachers, and Severus and Remus filled in those positions respectively, and very glad to do so. Harry and Draco teased them merciously however when they found out saying how it was irony at it's best. Considering they were taking over the jobs of their namessakes from 400 years past, but Severus and Remus just grinned and couldn't have been happier.

Though they're jobs kept them busy, they always managed to make time to meet during the holidays and summers. It came as no surprize in the wizarding world however when Harry Potter and Remus Snape, and Draco Potter and Severus Snape announced their duel engagments to each other. Though they had no date for the wedding, everyone was sure it would be an event to remember once the day came.

And back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry things still stayed the same. Children would come and go, new faces mingling with old. At the moment though the headmaster of Hogwarts was out for an afternoon stroll by the lake, his thoughts not on his children for he knew all was well with that. It wasn't on the coming full moon, for he had already taken his wolfsbane potion that morning. He had been grateful the werewolf genes had skipped the boys, though he would have loved them nonetheless if it hadn't. So it wasn't the moon that bothered him either.

He didn't realize that he had now wandered to an area on the far side of the lake, an old footpath barely visable unless you knew it was there seemed to be beckoning him. He wandered down the pathway a bit until he came to a spot he often would visit, a place known only to the headmasters of Hogwarts though had anyone really wanted to find it they could have. It was a special place, a sanctuary of sorts that had been there since the days of Godric himself. A place for the headmasters to gain insight, and spiritual balance if need be. A place where thoughts could be made into words, and often times...answered.

James sat down on the white bench that had magically been altered to resist sun or rain or snow from fading it. The area was peaceful as always, calm and quiet, not even the sound of birds came to this place. James closed his eyes to think a moment, a suddenly he knew he wasn't alone. 

"You're awfully thoughtful today James, anything wrong?" a voice said from off to James's side.

"Not really. Just the usual run of the mill things." James said opening his eyes to look at the person the voice belonged to.

The person shook his head and chuckled before gliding over to where James was. "Being a Headmaster is a big responsibility sometimes I know. I wonder myself why I was ever coerced into the job."

"I don't remember you complaining at the time though. Infact I recall you being quite eager to accept it..." a second voice said with a drawl and glided over to where the other two were.

"Hmph, _I_ recall not having been giving the option now was I. However...I was glad in the end to take it on. Responsibility and all I doubt I'd have traded a single day of it." the first person said with a wistful sigh.

"Does it ever get easier?" James asked wearily.

The first person laughed and shook his head. "No, never does James. But as someone once told me that all I needed was to believe in myself....so I say to you. You're doing a fine job James, don't think you're not. Albus himself would be proud of you. We're proud of you." the person said.

The second person nodded his head and smiled. "We are at that. Look at all you've done with your life James. You have a lovely wife, two wondrful sons who are about to get married, became Headmaster when you were only 25 years old which is a feat in itself I might add...what more could you want?"

James thought on that for a moment and shook his head with a small smile. "Nothing I suppose. Nothing at all. I just wonder if I'm doing a good job sometimes. I don't want to let anyone down. I need to know that I'm being fair, just and loyal to what I am..." he said with a small sigh.

"As an old friend once told me that the only person I was unloyal to....was myself. I really believe that now, because it was so true. I had no faith in who I was nor what I wanted from my life. But something brought me back from that James. Something truely wondrful made me believe in it all again...." the second person said.

"And what was that?" James asked.

"Love James. It was love. When I stopped hating long enough to find love again....I found...myself. It was easy after that, and I never gave up on that love. If I had, you wouldn't be here now." the second persons said with a smile.

James looked at the person carefully for a moment then smiled. "I guess your right. I don't know what my life would have been like with out Shosie and the boys...not to mention the children and the school. They're my inspiration....and _they_ believe in me. It would be foolish for me not to believe in myself then wouldn't it."

The two men nodded. "Very much so. Now go on back to the school, we'll have another chat soon if you want to. You know we are always here for you...and always will be." the second person said quietly.

James nodded, got up off the bench and walked over to where there were some stones imbedded into the ground. Like the bench they were magically enhanced to repel the weather and never fade. He gazed down at them a moment before asking one last question. "Was it all worth it in the end?" he asked quietly.

The two men gazed off into the forest a moment in thought before turning back to James. "It was worth more than you could ever possibly know James." the second man said looking at the first person with a loving smile on his face.

James didn't turn back to look at the two people, instead he walked back down the path feeling a bit lighter then when he had arrived. He knew he could always count on the two people to help him when he needed it, or when he just needed that reassurance like now. And he knew he'd be back to this sanctuary, because that's what it was there for.

The two people watched James leave, soft smiles on their faces. When he was gone they turned to each other and gently wrapped their arms round each others body, content in the way things had happened over all these years. Even though some people had grown apart in all these many years, things had a funny way of coming back full circle. 

"So my love...what would you like to do today hmm?" the second person said placing a small kiss on the first persons cheek.

"Oh I don't know...want to go up to the castle and see Richard and Edward? I hear Nick's finally taught them how to play football...could be interesting to join in on a match." the first person said grinning and giving his lifemate a returned kiss on the cheek.

"Hmm football eh? Long as Myrtle's not on our team this time I do believe that might be a grand idea luv. Shall we then?" the second person said taking his lifemates hand in his.

"By all means my love, by all means..." the first person said happily, and the two people glided off towards the castle discussing the latest batch of Gryffindor's and Slytherin's and who might win the Quidditch and House cups this year.

The clearing was left behind and only the stirring of a few blades of grass moved as the wind swept through. No creature would dare come to this glade, nor would any leaf dare fall off the trees littering the stones. Even at nights the very words on the stones glowed with a magicalness, a tribute to the great people that they represented. Thanks to these and the other brave names of the past, a time of peace had reigned, and all because of missmatched experiments and the power of love.

  
_**~~~~**_

_~~~~Remus J. Lupin-Snape~~~~  
B. 1960 D. 2090  
Headmaster of Hogwarts  
Husband, Father  
Loved By All Who Knew Him  
Gryffindor_

_~~~~_

_~~~~Severus Snape~~~~  
B. 1960 D. 2090  
Potions Master Of Hogwarts  
Husband, Father  
He Would Not Live Without Love  
Slytherin_

_~~~~_

_~~~~Albus Dumbeldore~~~~  
B. 1845 D. 2025  
Headmaster Of Hogwarts  
Finally Found His True Desire -  
The Perfect Pair Of Socks  
Gryffindor_

_~~~~_

_~~~~Harry James Potter~~~~  
B. 1984 D. 2105  
Seeker For The Chudley Canons  
Headmaster Of Hogwarts  
Husband, Father  
Heir Of The Gryffindors_

_~~~~_

_~~~~Draco Potter~~~~  
B. 1984 D. 2116  
Potions Master Of Hogwarts  
Husband, Father  
Found Strength In His Only Love  
Slytherin_

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

  
2002-05-27 7:33:58 PM  



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